Where You Belong

There have been many times in my life when I wondered if I was where I belonged.

I think it's a natural thing.  We wonder if we are living our lives to the fullest.  Are we following the path God has placed in front of us?  Are we truly doing the best we can to do more than just "exist"?

Today I had a moment.  A moment where I felt God's presence.  It was more than knowing He was with me and that I was loved….it was through singing and leading worship that took me back to a time early in my faith journey where God was working on me in  a huge way.  I could smell the incense in the church I attended so many years ago and it was there that I discovered how much music was truly a part of my life and how vital it was to the way I worshipped.

 

The music today, the smell of the flowers, the faces old and new in the congregation, and looking down to witness my oldest son giving communion to my youngest son was when I knew I was where I belonged.  Serving, worshipping and experiencing God. 

I truly felt like I was at home.

Today I Am Thankful For:

 

1.  Long naps

2.  Sandwiches
3.  Cocktail peanuts
4.  Plastic containers

5.  Frasier

Good Friday

We participated in an amazing Good Friday service tonight. This is an evening I look forward to every year. It's a time to stop and focus on the sacrifice that was made for all of creation. It's almost just too much to try and comprehend.

I caught myself praying, "God, I know I am not worthy enough...." and I immediately stopped myself. Who is worthy enough for the gift God gave us? The truth is, none of us are, but God knew before we were born that He would love us enough for the sacrifice He would make. God knew what He was doing. He knew that the hardest thing in the world would be to sacrifice His son, but it was done out of a love greater than we will ever understand.

My prayer for you is that you take a moment to stop and think about what we are celebrating. It's not about the Easter bunny and the egg hunts or the pastel colors and new outfits for church, it's about the One who saved us. The One who knows we fall short every single day of being great human beings. The One who will love us for all eternity.

Look at the hands of someone you love and imagine nails being driven through them. It's too much! How in the world could someone do that?

It is the greatest gift that was given to the world...to each of us.

Make the most of each day and live it to the fullest.

Remember who came for you.

Today I Am Thankful For:
1. broccoli
2. Easter pails
3. clean jammies
4. thoughtful, meaningful worship experiences
5. flip flops

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Praying

I went to church tonight to experience "prayer stations".  Throughout the church, stations were set up that gave each participant new ways to think about prayer.  One station was a scrabble board and you were encouraged to form words that represented God in your life.  Another station had each person draw images of prayers that were on their hearts and another had you view different images of Jesus and spend time in prayer. 

After I experienced each station, I was drawn to sit in prayer, in the quiet of the sanctuary.  It was dimly lit, meditative music playing in the background and uninterrupted time to myself to be with God.

I don't allow myself this time every day.  It should be top priority, but I often let life take over.  It's not about having the perfect atmosphere to spend time in prayer (even though it sure is nice to have the perfect environment).  Part of my problem is that I put my prayer life in a box.  If it's not done a certain way and I "mess up" then why continue? 

We have the opportunity to start over each morning.  When God blesses us with yet another day how do we choose to honor Him?

Our prayer life may not look perfect on the outside but it's following through and developing our relationship with Christ that counts.

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."  Colossians 4:2 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  A new book
2.  Plums
3.  An organized cabinet

4.  A stocked pantry

5.  Ziploc bags

Reminders

Without my iPhone I would be terribly lost.  I set alarms and reminders to keep my day moving...when to pick up the boys, when it's time for a conference call, appointments, lists of items to pick up at the store...it never ends!

Today I received a reminder that was not electronic and it made me stop for a moment.

One of dear friends took a moment out of her day to send me a card and the inside read,

"I'm praying for you…

             and trusting with you…
             and reminding you you're loved and cared for more than you know."

At that moment I felt God's arms around me.  He knows the struggles I am having.  He knows how I have been feeling defeated.  And He used a friend to pass along that reminder that the Creator of the Universe loves me more than I can imagine.

So many of us are good at helping others.  We tend to be the "strong" ones who keep things together or we use the practical side of our minds to make things happen.  We don't always allow ourselves to be on the receiving end and let people know we struggle and need a little help.

But God knows what we need.  He never leaves us and is always closer than we think.

Today He showed off in a big way by using one of his faithful servants to reach out and remind me that I was loved.

          You may be the next person He uses in a way bigger than you could ever imagine. 
          It doesn't take much to follow through and listen to what God is telling us to do. 

If you feel that nudge on your heart to reach out to someone, don't hesitate. 

 

You may just be the reminder someone needs.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."  Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)

 

 

Today I Am Thankful For:

 

1.  ice packs

2.  clean floors

3.  barking dogs

4.  candles

5.   Easter candy

Joy ….Revisited

Did you select a "word" for 2013?  (It's not too late)!

 My "OneWord" for 2013 is Joy.  I want to spend this year recognizing and relishing in the joy in my life and not letting those moments slip past me unnoticed.  I guess you could say it's also about being more intentional. 

If you think there is no joy in your life and everything seems to be filled with gloom and doom, then I invite you to start reading a book that I just began, "Until I SayGoodbye," by Susan Spencer-Wendel with Bret Witter.  Susan is a fortysomething mother of two, happily married journalist who was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) in 2009.  She has written a book about celebrating life.

"HarperCollins calls Susan’s story 'a powerfully emotional, inspirational and irrepressibly joyous look at the things that matter most… Until I Say Goodbye is the fulfillment of her final wish: "To make people laugh and cry and hug their children and joke with their friends and dwell in how wonderful it is to be alive."

Talk about putting life into perspective.

This brave woman wanted nothing more than to dedicate year to joy, to visit places she had never been, to give each of her children a special experience as a final gift and to leave those of us fortunate enough to read her final work words of inspiration.

These past several months have been filled with challenges in our family surrounding the health of our youngest son.  But through all of the hospitals, treatments, ice packs, days of school and work missed, factor, and pain, God has been evident in our lives.  He has helped me remember that things can always be worse and that where we currently are is where we are to be.  It is His plan...even if I don't particularly like the path sometimes.

We have had tons of joyous moments in the hospital as we sit and wait and wait some more.  Joyous moments as we are "forced" to be still and change plans, and joyous moments as we see the all too familiar faces on the 6th floor as we are admitted and even better, when we are discharged.

Thank you, Susan, for sharing your heart and your passion.  You have helped me to remember that my journey is important.  That I have a purpose in this world, and that our lives are truly filled with many chapters. 

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Freshly polished toes

2.  An exceptionally, wonderful horseback ride

3.  Too many books

4.  Sunday afternoons

5.  Felt tip markers

His Best

I am having a hard time believing this nugget of inspiration right now.

I know that everything in our lives happens for a purpose. A purpose that may be easy to see during the event but often times it takes quite some time to understand the reasons why we go through certain trials and tribulations.

In this case the "No" we were given was regarding "Christian's" treatment for his inhibitor (complication as a result of his hemophilia). Two different drugs were administered and both caused significant reactions in my sweet boy. We had been waiting for over six years for this treatment to start with the hopes of eradicating the inhibitor, and it looks like this will not be the path for treatment.

How can I possibly think that God's best did not happen for my sweet Christian? Doesn't the Creator of the Universe, the One who I put all my trust in, The Most High want my son to move forward the best way possible with his bleeding disorder?

I am not asking for God to "take the hemophilia away", I am just asking for it to be a little easier in treating my son's extremely painful, limiting bleeds. It is devastating to see him in pain.

I believe that I am a woman of faith...but even women of faith shake sometimes. I don't like the feeling of defeat that I am feeling right now. I know that I have done everything I physically can for my son and would give my life for him, and I pray that the next chapter of battling this bleeding disorder will bring relief for my son.

Thank you, Father. I know that the best is yet to come.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. late night flights
2. washer/dryers in hotels
3. hospital food
4. thinking ahead
5. ninjas