What's the Name of Your Horse?

I started riding lessons back in November.  You will find me just about every Saturday riding in the hills behind our church in the arroyos and hills of Rio Rancho with my wonderful teacher, Maggie, and my trusty steed, Kelsey.

It took me years before I followed my passion to ride.  I identify my riding as answering a "calling."  A calling is not just church ministry.  A calling is a strong feeling to follow a job, a career, a vocation.  But it is also an answer to something that will fulfill you.  Maybe it's teaching, volunteering, creating art, designing, or being a mom.  Callings will often change depending on the season of life we are in.  The important thing is to listen and follow the calling that has been put on your heart.

Even though I have loved horses my entire life, I never fully understood the importance of following through and "stepping out of my box" to actually see what riding on a regular basis would be like.  Part of me was afraid that if I tried it that I may not enjoy it and my desire and passion to ride all of these years would have been for nothing.  But what I did do was step out in faith, follow the passion and calling that had been put on my heart so many years ago, and when I did, God delivered and I was not disappointed.  And God led me to this particular time in my life, when I needed to fulfill my passion for riding.

It's not about your age, financial situation, weight or color that determines your calling in life, it's what God is putting on your heart. 

Are you listening?  Have you been afraid to follow through?

What's the name of your horse?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  A clear, New Mexico day

2.  My son returning home safely from his choir trip

3.  receiving a handwritten card in the mail

4.  On-line photo ordering

5.  Making new friends

Jack of All Trades...Master of None?

I had a college friend who graduated with a Music Education degree...he worked hard, student taught, and decided music education was not for him.  Are you kidding me?  You didn't like it and now you have a degree and are looking for a job outside of music?

That bewildered me.  I always knew I would be a band director and thought I would retire as a band director.  Well, God had other things in store for me.  He plopped a job opportunity in my lap back in 2002.  I wasn't looking for it and never dreamed I would change careers.  I mean, I had a degree in Music Education!  How in the world could I go into marketing?  Leaving education was a huge leap of faith, and I don’t regret it one bit.

I truly believe that once you have taught in the public schools, you can do anything :)  Being a band director taught me so much more than just how to teach music.  Accounting, relationships, organizing, planning, public speaking, mediation, creativity...the list goes on.  It was a great springboard into my new career in the healthcare industry and I have been fortunate to work in the industry for the past eleven years.

But there are times I doubt myself.  Yes, there's that doubt again.  In my current role, I am a "go to" person for our national team.  The joke is "if you don’t know what to do, ask Caz!"  I am the longest remaining member of the original team and help with many different things. 

Sometimes I feel as if I am a "Jack of all trades," which is helpful to many, and "a master of none," which is disappointing to me.  The reality is that we all have parts of our jobs that we may not enjoy and have to endure so that we can do the fun things...the things we enjoy the most.  I have the ability to step it up and make things happen...and it's time to move forward.

Here's to the season of the fun stuff :)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  A soft, loaf of bread
2.  Getting rid of clutter
3.  The smell of a great candle

4.  Cold snaps after "Spring" has started

5.  Homemade cookies

 

 

Fear, Doubt, Anxiety and Worry

Ugh!  Aren't these four of the absolute worst things?

Fear can lock us into a place where we can become paralyzed.

"But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.  For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you."  Isaiah 43:1-3 (NIV)

 

Fear of the unknown is a big hurdle for me.  "Will I be able to do everything I need to be successful?  What is I start a project and fall flat on my face?  What if no one shows up to my study?"

Doubt can lead a person to not believe in their abilities.

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done."  Mathew 21:21 (NIV)

As for doubt, that is a big enemy that creeps into my heart on a daily basis.  "Cazandra you are not good enough.  Cazandra you don't have the skills you need for this job.  Cazandra your ministry is not as important as others."  Ooh, it goes on and on and listening to the truth is sometimes hard.

Anxiety can affect an individual to the point where they cannot function.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"  Matthew 6:25-27 (NIV)

I struggle with anxiety and there are times I feel as if my heart is going to come out of my body!  It is a scary feeling, but I find that when I breathe and pray and try to focus on the truth that I am able to combat my anxiety.

Worry can eat your life up by putting your energies into something that may or may not transpire.

 "Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."  1 Peter 5:7  (NIV)

 

I used to be an extreme worrier.  But over the years I have let go and let God come into my life. 

Beloved, we have to let God take over our hearts completely.  Yes, completely.  Not just when times are good but when time times are especially rough.  In all things we should be giving thanks for what God has put in our path.

With God, all things are possible.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Ice cream
2. Card games
3. Vacation photos
4. Cucumber water
5. New friends

Reconnecting

I am on vacation! Me the hubs and our boys came to Colorado for a week of respite. With the exception of a doctor's appointment for "Christian", we have not had plans. We have slept in, eaten very well and just been together. We are heading to Colorado Springs tomorrow and back to New Mexico on Friday.

It has been wonderful (despite the blizzard and not having our heavy coats) :)

The highlight of our trip has been the never ending game of UNO (or as Christian calls it NANO)! Seven times through the deck and I was the winner! It is these times of togetherness that money cannot buy.

We all get so busy with work and lessons and homework and ministry that our connections to our family can get broken. It is critical that we take the time to recharge and refresh our hearts and minds.

That's where I am and will be back next week with a renewed heart and mind.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. cold toes

2. diner food

3. no schedules

4. unplugging the phone

5. letting go

 

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