Saturday, November 06, 2010

The Last Thing I Wanted To Do...

Getting up at 6 am on a Saturday morning is not something that top's my list of favorite things to do.

But that is what I did today.

I was asked to come speak to a group of women in Cloudcroft, New Mexico about Celebration Ministries (I served as President of the Deming Celebration Chapter for three years). They were wanting information and had questions, so I accepted their invitation several weeks ago.

I had been trying to talk myself out of going for days...mainly because I have just not been feeling well. Truth be told, I've not been feeling well since September.

My heart has been empty. I just feel like my faith is weak and my relationship with God is stagnant because of lack of work on my part.

My husband encouraged me to keep my commitment. He tells me that when our faith is weak and when we feel like God is not present in our lives that it is often the most important time to continue our ministry.

I think he is right.

During the three hour drive to Cloudcroft I was doubting myself. "What can I possible give these women? What if they see through me and see that I am a big phony? What if my words are not what they need?"

These women blessed my socks off! They shared their hearts and desires and were just lovely. I shared some of my story and helped to give them direction for their women's group.

The three hour drive home was quite different. I felt so blessed. Blessed that I was invited to share in the lives of these amazing women. Blessed that God led me on this little journey through my feeling crummy about everything. Blessed that I "showed up" and shared a part of myself and what God is doing through me.

I am so far from perfect. I drop the ball, I slack off, I don't believe in myself, but through all of that craziness, God loves me just the way I am.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. A brisk morning
2. A New Mexico sunrise
3. aromatherapy sleep mist
4. Google images
5. Pizza Night at the local deli

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Flo said...

God is so amazing...taking what feels like a negative and turning it into a positive!! You are stronger than I am...I cave in to "I don't wanna" when if I "woulda" I'd get the blessing!!! Kudos to your husband for his encouragement, too!

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