I Posted Too Soon.....

I am more of a Facebook "lurker" and not one who posts often (my blog posts show up, but I don't go out of my way to post my status).

Tonight I posted that all was quiet in our hospital room (Christian had his surgery today) and that he was sleeping....that lasted about 20 minutes!

So two hours later, I sit here, as he does finally sleep, wide awake, contemplating the day.

Despite all of the medical issues both of my boys have endured, there is one thing that did overwhelm me today...Pain.

Christian has endured an enormous amount of pain today. The kind of pain that when your child is crying and you truly do not know what to do except hold them and wipe their tears.

I've said before that I would gladly endure the pain my children go through rather than they having to deal with it themselves, but I never meant it like I did today.

We all have pain. Physical pain like my sweet, brave boy has been dealing with, emotional pain that so many people go through at the hands of others....

As trite as it may sound, I truly believe the Lord never gives us more than we can handle, but there are sure times I wonder if I am truly the person meant to deal with children with medical issues.

I begin to doubt myself, the decisions I make on their behalf, even the signing of the consent forms for procedures to be done.

I know it all makes us stronger, but I feel strong enough! :)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a late night Diet Coke
2. my oldest son's love for his baby brother
3. dark rooms
4. the city lights in the wee hours
5. Christian's stars and moon nightlight