Growing up a good Catholic girl was filled with rules.
Clasp your hands a certain way to pray, sit down, kneel, stand, make the sign of the cross, light a candle, pray to the saints......it was all very confusing, especially since none of it was explained in my home.
I've always felt as if you have to do things a certain way.
I like lists and rules and knowing exactly what is expected of me, but the one area in my life that is still not settled is my daily time with God.
I tried reading the One Year Bible, but then I would miss a day here and there and, well, I never picked it back up. I was too far behind and hadn't "done it right."
I started writing my prayers to God in a journal on January 1st. Some days have gone by, and I failed, yet again.
I got up early everyday to spend quiet time with God, then I started staying up later and 5:30 am would come and go.
What works best for you?
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. old sitcoms
2. gift cards
3. piles of folded clothes
4. frayed blankets
5. my Crocs flip flops
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Time With God - part 1
"When you forego your time with God each morning, you act on the belief that you can do life by yourself - self centeredness instead of God centeredness."
First Place for Health Daily Calendar
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. ground beef
2. hearing from old friends
3. occupational therapy
4. a good day of work
5. smell good candles
First Place for Health Daily Calendar
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. ground beef
2. hearing from old friends
3. occupational therapy
4. a good day of work
5. smell good candles
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Being Stuck
I am stuck.
My job as a member of a national healthcare team (we care for folks with bleeding disorders) is great. Hours are flexible, I can work in my jammies if I want to (I never do), and the traveling is minimal. I work from my home office, but 90% of the time I work from my office at the church. It allows me to be around people and have a "place to go."
It can be a lonely place….working from home. You also have to be a self starter and a self motivator. Satan can sure play with me on this one.
My team has a daily, morning, conference call and we tell each other what our "top three" for the day will be. It keeps us accountable and we know where everyone is physically at, since most of the team travels quite a bit.
It's just hard to feel connected sometimes.
I am finding that I need to rely on God and the Word more, but Satan has other plans. He gets hold of me and keeps God at bay. I hear things such as, "You could be doing more, You are not performing to the best of your potential, etc."
I just need to be stronger.
When Satan gets in my head and starts speaking those untruths, I find myself saying out loud, "Get away, Satan! Stop it!"
It's amazing how that helps :)
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. The sounds of video games
2. Building bridges and forts out of blankets in the living room
3. Empty air fresheners
4. Apple juice
5. Crushed ice
My job as a member of a national healthcare team (we care for folks with bleeding disorders) is great. Hours are flexible, I can work in my jammies if I want to (I never do), and the traveling is minimal. I work from my home office, but 90% of the time I work from my office at the church. It allows me to be around people and have a "place to go."
It can be a lonely place….working from home. You also have to be a self starter and a self motivator. Satan can sure play with me on this one.
My team has a daily, morning, conference call and we tell each other what our "top three" for the day will be. It keeps us accountable and we know where everyone is physically at, since most of the team travels quite a bit.
It's just hard to feel connected sometimes.
I am finding that I need to rely on God and the Word more, but Satan has other plans. He gets hold of me and keeps God at bay. I hear things such as, "You could be doing more, You are not performing to the best of your potential, etc."
I just need to be stronger.
When Satan gets in my head and starts speaking those untruths, I find myself saying out loud, "Get away, Satan! Stop it!"
It's amazing how that helps :)
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. The sounds of video games
2. Building bridges and forts out of blankets in the living room
3. Empty air fresheners
4. Apple juice
5. Crushed ice
Monday, August 23, 2010
The Luxury of Babysitting
When you live a life in ministry, far away from family, the luxury of calling for a babysitter is gone. That help with the kids that you always relied on is hard to come by, and I find it difficult to ask for help. Does that make sense?
My husband and I wanted to volunteer at the hemophilia golf tournament in Albuquerque (2 hrs away) last Friday, but I knew picking up my littlest one would be an issue. Never fear, my friends "B" and "T" agreed to help us out. They picked up Christian, made sure he ate, and let him play. They watched him for about three hours on Friday evening.
They don't realize how much of a gift they gave us by offering that act of kindness to us. Simply put, they were the "hands and feet of Christ" to us.
I find it very easy to offer help. To cook a meal, to watch someone's kids or pets, to put up the bulletin boards at church, etc. but when it comes to asking for help….it is so incredibly difficult for me. It's like buying presents at Christmas. I love giving, but receiving is almost embarrassing for me.
Perhaps the greatest gift we have received is God sending his only Son. Christ came for all of us. Not just a select few. I believe He came for every living, breathing person on the planet.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:16-17 (NIV)
Thank you, to all of you who help out your pastor's family. It's the little things that mean so much.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Good friends
2. A sleeping puppy
3. A desk piled with papers
4. Maria…who cleans every other Monday :)
5. tape
My husband and I wanted to volunteer at the hemophilia golf tournament in Albuquerque (2 hrs away) last Friday, but I knew picking up my littlest one would be an issue. Never fear, my friends "B" and "T" agreed to help us out. They picked up Christian, made sure he ate, and let him play. They watched him for about three hours on Friday evening.
They don't realize how much of a gift they gave us by offering that act of kindness to us. Simply put, they were the "hands and feet of Christ" to us.
I find it very easy to offer help. To cook a meal, to watch someone's kids or pets, to put up the bulletin boards at church, etc. but when it comes to asking for help….it is so incredibly difficult for me. It's like buying presents at Christmas. I love giving, but receiving is almost embarrassing for me.
Perhaps the greatest gift we have received is God sending his only Son. Christ came for all of us. Not just a select few. I believe He came for every living, breathing person on the planet.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:16-17 (NIV)
Thank you, to all of you who help out your pastor's family. It's the little things that mean so much.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Good friends
2. A sleeping puppy
3. A desk piled with papers
4. Maria…who cleans every other Monday :)
5. tape
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Stepping Out in Faith
I had heard of people "stepping out in faith" or being encouraged to and never understood what it really meant until we packed up everything we owned and moved from Houston, Texas to Deming, New Mexico. We left Houston without even knowing where we were going to live, but God provided for us like I had never seen during that time four years ago.
We left Deming a year ago for my husband's first appointment as pastor at the Methodist church in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. It's been a good year. A year of transition, a year of new things and new faces and friendships and a year of listening to God.
Sometimes I wonder if we made the right move. Did we move too early? Are we where we are supposed to be in the grand scheme of it all according to God?
We went to Deming Saturday and I attended a ladies event. It was so good to see my old friends! But I knew I was not "home" anymore. Not in a bad way, but I knew that I was there for a visit. That our time there had passed. It was a tug on my heart telling me that we indeed were where we needed to be.
Stepping out in faith is scary, but when you do it….when you truly do what God is leading you to do and go where He wants you to go, it's absolutely amazing.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Iced tea
2. Sunday afternoons (no electronics!)
3. Hat boxes
4. nails
5. buzzers
We left Deming a year ago for my husband's first appointment as pastor at the Methodist church in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. It's been a good year. A year of transition, a year of new things and new faces and friendships and a year of listening to God.
Sometimes I wonder if we made the right move. Did we move too early? Are we where we are supposed to be in the grand scheme of it all according to God?
We went to Deming Saturday and I attended a ladies event. It was so good to see my old friends! But I knew I was not "home" anymore. Not in a bad way, but I knew that I was there for a visit. That our time there had passed. It was a tug on my heart telling me that we indeed were where we needed to be.
Stepping out in faith is scary, but when you do it….when you truly do what God is leading you to do and go where He wants you to go, it's absolutely amazing.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Iced tea
2. Sunday afternoons (no electronics!)
3. Hat boxes
4. nails
5. buzzers
Monday, August 16, 2010
The "Fish"
Lance started his freshman year of High School today! I can't believe I have a child in High School (am I really getting older?). He won't admit it, but he's pretty nervous. I am thankful that his first period class is band…so hopefully this will put him at ease by seeing some friends right at the beginning of the day.
Yesterday in church we celebrated the "Blessing of the Backpacks." It was a great liturgy that was put together to bless our children as they start a new school year.
My hope and prayer is that all of our children have a school year filled with blessings and not bullies. Filled with learning and no doubt. Filled with excitement and no despair.
It's rough being a kid. Let's remember the struggles we each had in school and be sensitive and open to our children. Let's remember to talk openly and not ignore their feelings. Their problems and concerns are equally as important in the realm of their lives as our problems are in ours.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. The first day of school
2. Fat, spiral notebooks
3. Tower fans
4. A barking puppy
5. Washing clothes
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A Big Year
This is a big year for our family. One son starts High School and the other Pre-K! To say that the range of our parenting issues is vast is an understatement!
I am watching my oldest turn into a man. He is one of the best things I ever did in my life. I do worry about him and his fears of high school, but it takes me back to my first day of high school. I was scared to death! But after first period was over, all was well. I just pray that he has a great year. That he makes friends, enjoys his classes and finds his place.
Isn't that what it's all about? Finding your place.
Then there's my little one. He is so excited about school (especially about riding the bus)! I want him to have fun and fit in with his little friends. To play like he's never played before and hopefully learn a few things while he's at it. And I especially pray that his hemophilia does not keep him from too many things.
Sometimes I feel like I'm still trying to "find my place." To fit in as the wife of a pastor in a small town, to fit in at Iliff as a new student (whose husband was very well known), to fit into the corporate world in a position I was not "trained" in school to do. Am I really qualified to be where I am?
But the truth is that God has put us in many different places in our lives. To play different parts, even when we didn't feel qualified. And when we are in those uncomfortable places, is when we especially need to have the heart of an "oozer." To exude the light of Christ in every thing we do and every word we speak. That's not easy.
Are you in a comfortable place right now?
Remember, "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called."
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. hangers
2. too many sandals
3. the smell of new school supplies
4. incense
5. power shopping
I am watching my oldest turn into a man. He is one of the best things I ever did in my life. I do worry about him and his fears of high school, but it takes me back to my first day of high school. I was scared to death! But after first period was over, all was well. I just pray that he has a great year. That he makes friends, enjoys his classes and finds his place.
Isn't that what it's all about? Finding your place.
Then there's my little one. He is so excited about school (especially about riding the bus)! I want him to have fun and fit in with his little friends. To play like he's never played before and hopefully learn a few things while he's at it. And I especially pray that his hemophilia does not keep him from too many things.
Sometimes I feel like I'm still trying to "find my place." To fit in as the wife of a pastor in a small town, to fit in at Iliff as a new student (whose husband was very well known), to fit into the corporate world in a position I was not "trained" in school to do. Am I really qualified to be where I am?
But the truth is that God has put us in many different places in our lives. To play different parts, even when we didn't feel qualified. And when we are in those uncomfortable places, is when we especially need to have the heart of an "oozer." To exude the light of Christ in every thing we do and every word we speak. That's not easy.
Are you in a comfortable place right now?
Remember, "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called."
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. hangers
2. too many sandals
3. the smell of new school supplies
4. incense
5. power shopping
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Presence
Today I've been at the bedside of my little one as he has undergone, yet, another surgery. All is well! He is doing great.
I've been present to him. Even when there was nothing I could do, but comfort him and pray for him and all else was out of my hands, I was present for him.
"Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God's presence." Ephesians 3:12 (NLT)
God is always present in my life. Even when God is not making himself "known" to me in a huge way, I know He is always there. It's like holding the hand of my spouse on a quiet walk. Feeling the warmth of his hand in mine and knowing he is always there, someone I can always count on.
That's how it is with God. He is ever present. But when we are in times that are "crisis free"....we tend to forget and go along our merry way without thinking about His presence in our lives.
Are you present for someone in your life? Have you acknowledged God's presence in your life lately?
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. special blankets
2. text messages of praise
3. skillful doctors
4. plums
5. the sounds of hospital monitors whirring
Monday, August 02, 2010
I'm Going to Start Monday
Have you ever said that?
I'm going to start my diet on Monday!
I'm going to start exercising, on Monday!
I'm going to start my devotional time...on Monday!
I'm going to...........on Monday!
But what looks different in our week? What are we doing differently throughout our week compared to the previous weeks that will help us not say the old saying...I'm going to start on Monday?
I always have great plans. Plans to eat well, to cook meals every night of the week, to walk the track and so on. But those plans go awry pretty early in the week.
Why is it that once we "mess up" we figure the week is wasted and we'll just wait till Monday to start again?
I am battling this craziness. Yes, I have good excuses as my summer has been filled with hospitalizations with Christian and traveling to school, but enough is enough! This is going to be a great week....Christian's surgery and all!
Let's not get to the point where we await Monday with a bit of dread. Let's rejoice that we have yet another day and make it our best :)
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. beautiful notecards
2. little boys
3. boiling chicken for our puppy (Yes, I actually did this....)
4. short fingernails
5. getting caught up
I'm going to start my diet on Monday!
I'm going to start exercising, on Monday!
I'm going to start my devotional time...on Monday!
I'm going to...........on Monday!
But what looks different in our week? What are we doing differently throughout our week compared to the previous weeks that will help us not say the old saying...I'm going to start on Monday?
I always have great plans. Plans to eat well, to cook meals every night of the week, to walk the track and so on. But those plans go awry pretty early in the week.
Why is it that once we "mess up" we figure the week is wasted and we'll just wait till Monday to start again?
I am battling this craziness. Yes, I have good excuses as my summer has been filled with hospitalizations with Christian and traveling to school, but enough is enough! This is going to be a great week....Christian's surgery and all!
Let's not get to the point where we await Monday with a bit of dread. Let's rejoice that we have yet another day and make it our best :)
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. beautiful notecards
2. little boys
3. boiling chicken for our puppy (Yes, I actually did this....)
4. short fingernails
5. getting caught up
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I Can Hardly Wait for Tomorrow!
Tomorrow me and my men will be together again!
My oldest, Lance, went to Houston 2 weeks ago to go to hemophilia camp and my little one and husband went to Houston to visit and pick up Lance from the camp bus 8 days ago.
It's been too long.
Yes, I've enjoyed the retreat and being in school this week, but being away from the loves of my life is very difficult (thank goodness for Skype).
By the time my class ends at noon tomorrow, they will be here on campus to meet me for lunch!
I've learned so much this week. Not just from the books, but about myself. I'm looking forward to sharing with you soon.
Blessings to you all!
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. new spiral notebooks
2. colored pens
3. new friends
4. bookstores
5. poetry
My oldest, Lance, went to Houston 2 weeks ago to go to hemophilia camp and my little one and husband went to Houston to visit and pick up Lance from the camp bus 8 days ago.
It's been too long.
Yes, I've enjoyed the retreat and being in school this week, but being away from the loves of my life is very difficult (thank goodness for Skype).
By the time my class ends at noon tomorrow, they will be here on campus to meet me for lunch!
I've learned so much this week. Not just from the books, but about myself. I'm looking forward to sharing with you soon.
Blessings to you all!
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. new spiral notebooks
2. colored pens
3. new friends
4. bookstores
5. poetry
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Being Silent
I had the most amazing weekend.
I attended a retreat lead by Dr. Jane Vennard from Iliff Seminary at the Sacred Heart Retreat House in Sedalia, Colorado.
It was a contemplative retreat filled with tons of silence. It was so refreshing. To not "have" to talk. To be able to go deeper inside of yourself and actually listen to what your heart was trying to tell you. To just "be". And to be in community with others, in silence. One of my favorite times was lying on a hammock for about two hours (yes, a luxury indeed :)
Our sharing times were pretty powerful. One of the questions asked was "Have you experience silence as a gift?"
I thought of my Dad. He was always a quiet man, but when he got sick and suffered from dementia, towards the end of his life, he didn't speak anymore. One of the times that I will never forget is when we were sitting in silence, just being and he raised his arm up and patted me on the shoulder. That action was worth more than any words he could have spoken to me.
I am looking forward to this coming week (I write this as I sit in an apartment at Iliff) as our retreat moves to the classroom where we will work on developing retreats.
My first "academic" experience in twenty years! I'm so glad I didn't chicken out.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. grapes
2. air conditioning
3. comfortable pillows
4. things left behind
5. new friends
Friday, July 23, 2010
It's Soooo Quiet
You ever been in the kind of quiet that is deafening? You know, it's almost too..."loud"?
That is what I am experiencing right now and for this upcoming weekend. A retreat in "Being Still."
As a mom, it's so hard to be still. There's always something to do and I will admit that when I am still, I'm watching television most of the time, just vegging out.
Isn't that awful? All of the other things I could be doing other than watching television....see, there I go...not being still.
This weekend is all about me being a little selfish and taking time for myself and my relationship with God.
I can't figure out what is making me more nervous, not knowing people, or the quiet that surrounds me?
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Skype
2. new headphones
3. parachutes
4. the camera on my phone
5. my iPod
That is what I am experiencing right now and for this upcoming weekend. A retreat in "Being Still."
As a mom, it's so hard to be still. There's always something to do and I will admit that when I am still, I'm watching television most of the time, just vegging out.
Isn't that awful? All of the other things I could be doing other than watching television....see, there I go...not being still.
This weekend is all about me being a little selfish and taking time for myself and my relationship with God.
I can't figure out what is making me more nervous, not knowing people, or the quiet that surrounds me?
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Skype
2. new headphones
3. parachutes
4. the camera on my phone
5. my iPod
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The Journey Begins
I am really stepping out of the box this week.
I am going to a retreat in Sedalia, Colorado Friday afternoon through Sunday afternoon. It is part of the class I am taking in Seminary.
I don't know what I am getting into.
I am all alone right now. My oldest is at hemophilia camp in Texas, and my husband and little one are in Houston visiting family. It's just bizarre being alone.
No one tugging at my shirt, no meals to cook, no laundry to wash....sounds like heaven don't you think?
Not even close.
I miss my "men" terribly. But, I am going to take advantage of this time to rest, reflect and hopefully connect with God.
How many people have this opportunity? I am definitely going to take advantage of the time.
What would you do with a week alone?
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. reading glasses
2. salads
3. clean clothes
4. loose change
5. playlists
I am going to a retreat in Sedalia, Colorado Friday afternoon through Sunday afternoon. It is part of the class I am taking in Seminary.
I don't know what I am getting into.
I am all alone right now. My oldest is at hemophilia camp in Texas, and my husband and little one are in Houston visiting family. It's just bizarre being alone.
No one tugging at my shirt, no meals to cook, no laundry to wash....sounds like heaven don't you think?
Not even close.
I miss my "men" terribly. But, I am going to take advantage of this time to rest, reflect and hopefully connect with God.
How many people have this opportunity? I am definitely going to take advantage of the time.
What would you do with a week alone?
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. reading glasses
2. salads
3. clean clothes
4. loose change
5. playlists
Friday, July 16, 2010
I Know the Problem
Since early June, my life has been pretty crazy with my four year old, Christian, beingin and out of the hospital.
I've just not "felt" right for several weeks.
My weight loss has been up and down, my sleep has been very deprived, our schedules at home have not been steady and I just don't feel good.
I figured it out. I've let my morning quiet time go.
Sleepless nights, getting up at all hours to infuse medication, I can come up with all the excuses in the world, but the bottom line is I let go of my lifeboat.
The one thing that keeps me going...my quiet time. The time I sit with Jesus in my living room to say hello and talk about what's on my heart...I've let it go.
Not intentionally, but it has slipped away.
But wouldn't you think I would be praying more than ever right now with my Christian's medical issues? That's what I don't understand. The time in my life that I need to be on my knees the most, and I have been absolutely complacent in my prayer life.
I opened my Bible yesterday to Psalm 42,
"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God? (NIV)"
I think God is telling me something.
Wednesday evening we went out on the lake with friends and what did I see? A deer drinking water.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. decent Mexican food
2. a new blouse
3. phone chargers
4. house slippers
5. puppy breath
I've just not "felt" right for several weeks.
My weight loss has been up and down, my sleep has been very deprived, our schedules at home have not been steady and I just don't feel good.
I figured it out. I've let my morning quiet time go.
Sleepless nights, getting up at all hours to infuse medication, I can come up with all the excuses in the world, but the bottom line is I let go of my lifeboat.
The one thing that keeps me going...my quiet time. The time I sit with Jesus in my living room to say hello and talk about what's on my heart...I've let it go.
Not intentionally, but it has slipped away.
But wouldn't you think I would be praying more than ever right now with my Christian's medical issues? That's what I don't understand. The time in my life that I need to be on my knees the most, and I have been absolutely complacent in my prayer life.
I opened my Bible yesterday to Psalm 42,
"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God? (NIV)"
I think God is telling me something.
Wednesday evening we went out on the lake with friends and what did I see? A deer drinking water.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. decent Mexican food
2. a new blouse
3. phone chargers
4. house slippers
5. puppy breath
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Bux
Yesterday I posted about being a bit selfish. How I wish my "normal" was a bit like everyone else's.
Then came Bux.
As I was getting ready to leave yesterday morning, a little puppy wandered up. He would not leave me alone.
Now he has a bowl, a chew toy and has been given a name...Bux (short for Buxtehude...don't ask:)
At first I didn't want anything to do with him. We already have two Shelties, another dog would be just too much! More vet bills, more food, bathing, caring for...the list goes on. But I think the Lord had something else in mind. Not just for him, but for all of us.
You can't just shut out a life in need. We may only have Bux for a short time (if we find an owner) or he may be a permanent fixture in our already busy household.
It's funny how God works.
Sometimes it's in a huge way. A big answer to prayer, a check in the mail, a positive diagnosis....and sometimes the innocent eyes of a hungry puppy.
(Any ideas on what kind of dog he is?)
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. noodles
2. Jeopardy
3. puppies
4. dirty hands
5. coban
Monday, July 12, 2010
My Normal
Sometimes my "normal" just makes me a little angry.
Why does my normal have to ever look like this?
Why can't my normal be that I am living in the home I will retire in with weekends to the lake? Or that my boys wouldn't be covered in bruises.
What is "normal?"
I know the Lord has led me and my family on this path of Nomadic living, I know that the Lord blessed us with two wonderful children that just happen to have medical issues.
I guess I just get selfish sometimes.
Don't we often wish for what others have? Is their life and lifestyle really all that it seems to be? Is the grass really greener on the other side?
We all have problems and situations that test us. We just have to deal with what has been put on our plate to the best of our ability.
I think I am just tired and want my little one to heal.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Sharpie's
2. stinky tennis shoes
3. the puppy that found his way to our home
4. the rain
5. our nurse, J that came out Saturday evening to help us
Why does my normal have to ever look like this?
Why can't my normal be that I am living in the home I will retire in with weekends to the lake? Or that my boys wouldn't be covered in bruises.
What is "normal?"
I know the Lord has led me and my family on this path of Nomadic living, I know that the Lord blessed us with two wonderful children that just happen to have medical issues.
I guess I just get selfish sometimes.
Don't we often wish for what others have? Is their life and lifestyle really all that it seems to be? Is the grass really greener on the other side?
We all have problems and situations that test us. We just have to deal with what has been put on our plate to the best of our ability.
I think I am just tired and want my little one to heal.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Sharpie's
2. stinky tennis shoes
3. the puppy that found his way to our home
4. the rain
5. our nurse, J that came out Saturday evening to help us
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Ministry from the Young
Our church is pretty small. One adult Sunday school class on Sunday mornings, a few children in the congregation, and many snowbirds make up our congregants.
A fellow Methodist church in Las Cruces has come on a mission trip to lead Vacation Bible School in our little town.
About 15 youth and chaperones have decided to take a few days, come and sleep in our church, and lead Bible Study for our children.
What hearts they have!
I mean, how many kids choose to take time away from their comfortable beds to sleep on the floor of a church?
They have decorated our church like you could not even imagine! They have memorized their lines, prepared great music, and have wonderful hearts for our little ones.
It has truly touched me. That others, especially youth, have heard God's call on their hearts to be with others. To give of themselves selflessly.
I appreciate what they are doing. My Christian is having the time of his life tonight with his friends. The people working with him are so loving and gentle.
I love seeing God work.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Stouffers lasagna
2. hearing rain!
3. lemonade
4. not being in Kansas City for a meeting
5. paperweights
A fellow Methodist church in Las Cruces has come on a mission trip to lead Vacation Bible School in our little town.
About 15 youth and chaperones have decided to take a few days, come and sleep in our church, and lead Bible Study for our children.
What hearts they have!
I mean, how many kids choose to take time away from their comfortable beds to sleep on the floor of a church?
They have decorated our church like you could not even imagine! They have memorized their lines, prepared great music, and have wonderful hearts for our little ones.
It has truly touched me. That others, especially youth, have heard God's call on their hearts to be with others. To give of themselves selflessly.
I appreciate what they are doing. My Christian is having the time of his life tonight with his friends. The people working with him are so loving and gentle.
I love seeing God work.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Stouffers lasagna
2. hearing rain!
3. lemonade
4. not being in Kansas City for a meeting
5. paperweights
Saturday, July 03, 2010
I Posted Too Soon.....
I am more of a Facebook "lurker" and not one who posts often (my blog posts show up, but I don't go out of my way to post my status).
Tonight I posted that all was quiet in our hospital room (Christian had his surgery today) and that he was sleeping....that lasted about 20 minutes!
So two hours later, I sit here, as he does finally sleep, wide awake, contemplating the day.
Despite all of the medical issues both of my boys have endured, there is one thing that did overwhelm me today...Pain.
Christian has endured an enormous amount of pain today. The kind of pain that when your child is crying and you truly do not know what to do except hold them and wipe their tears.
I've said before that I would gladly endure the pain my children go through rather than they having to deal with it themselves, but I never meant it like I did today.
We all have pain. Physical pain like my sweet, brave boy has been dealing with, emotional pain that so many people go through at the hands of others....
As trite as it may sound, I truly believe the Lord never gives us more than we can handle, but there are sure times I wonder if I am truly the person meant to deal with children with medical issues.
I begin to doubt myself, the decisions I make on their behalf, even the signing of the consent forms for procedures to be done.
I know it all makes us stronger, but I feel strong enough! :)
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. a late night Diet Coke
2. my oldest son's love for his baby brother
3. dark rooms
4. the city lights in the wee hours
5. Christian's stars and moon nightlight
Tonight I posted that all was quiet in our hospital room (Christian had his surgery today) and that he was sleeping....that lasted about 20 minutes!
So two hours later, I sit here, as he does finally sleep, wide awake, contemplating the day.
Despite all of the medical issues both of my boys have endured, there is one thing that did overwhelm me today...Pain.
Christian has endured an enormous amount of pain today. The kind of pain that when your child is crying and you truly do not know what to do except hold them and wipe their tears.
I've said before that I would gladly endure the pain my children go through rather than they having to deal with it themselves, but I never meant it like I did today.
We all have pain. Physical pain like my sweet, brave boy has been dealing with, emotional pain that so many people go through at the hands of others....
As trite as it may sound, I truly believe the Lord never gives us more than we can handle, but there are sure times I wonder if I am truly the person meant to deal with children with medical issues.
I begin to doubt myself, the decisions I make on their behalf, even the signing of the consent forms for procedures to be done.
I know it all makes us stronger, but I feel strong enough! :)
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. a late night Diet Coke
2. my oldest son's love for his baby brother
3. dark rooms
4. the city lights in the wee hours
5. Christian's stars and moon nightlight
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I Cried....
I took my Christian to see the surgeon this morning, and he said that the port needs to come out...Friday! The doctor will place a PICC line for temporary access until the site heals and in a few weeks we go back for a new port (and a lengthier hosital stay).
On our two hour drive home, I cried at least halfway.
I cried because my Christian has dealt with so much.
I cried while remembering life before Christian when only Lance was around and how much easier all of this hemophilia stuff was. I had no idea then.
I cried because I often feel like I've no one to talk to. That's when I called my good buddy "T" in Houston :)
Needless to say, I was just being a woman :)
I know that hemophilia has been placed in our lives for many reasons. And I think one of the greatest reasons is that the good Lord knew my hubby and I could handle raising two, very different, boys with this disorder. That we were equipped to teach them all they need to know without feeling sorry for themselves.
To ultimately teach us a thing or two.
But don't we all have our "hemophilia?"
I have a friend dealing with major issues with her step daughter, another with financial problems, a couple with issues dealing with a loved one and their absence...everyone has something.
I don't think anyone can say their problem is worse than the other...it's their problem that needs to be prayed upon. It's their problem that God is in the middle of, maybe they just don't know it yet.
Whatever your "hemophilia" is, I pray that the Lord blesses you, strenghens you and shows up in amazing ways through your situation.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. an old "mixed" CD
2. animal crackers
3. text messages
4. a boss who cares
5. two more nights at home
On our two hour drive home, I cried at least halfway.
I cried because my Christian has dealt with so much.
I cried while remembering life before Christian when only Lance was around and how much easier all of this hemophilia stuff was. I had no idea then.
I cried because I often feel like I've no one to talk to. That's when I called my good buddy "T" in Houston :)
Needless to say, I was just being a woman :)
I know that hemophilia has been placed in our lives for many reasons. And I think one of the greatest reasons is that the good Lord knew my hubby and I could handle raising two, very different, boys with this disorder. That we were equipped to teach them all they need to know without feeling sorry for themselves.
To ultimately teach us a thing or two.
But don't we all have our "hemophilia?"
I have a friend dealing with major issues with her step daughter, another with financial problems, a couple with issues dealing with a loved one and their absence...everyone has something.
I don't think anyone can say their problem is worse than the other...it's their problem that needs to be prayed upon. It's their problem that God is in the middle of, maybe they just don't know it yet.
Whatever your "hemophilia" is, I pray that the Lord blesses you, strenghens you and shows up in amazing ways through your situation.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. an old "mixed" CD
2. animal crackers
3. text messages
4. a boss who cares
5. two more nights at home
Monday, June 28, 2010
More Waiting.....
My Christian has been through the ringer over the last few weeks. His port has still not healed and we have another appointment on Wednesday to determine whether or not the port will need to be replaced. He's had an IV in his arm since leaving the hospital a week ago. He' a tough little kid.
The unknowns make me crazy! Will they tell us he has to be admitted to the hospital immediately? Can we schedule the surgery to adapt to our lives, etc.
Only the Lord knows what will happen. We just have to take it one step at a time.
Today I Am Thankful For:
1. coffee
2. my new glasses
3. lukewarm water
4. ConKerr Cancer (provides pillowcases in the hospital)
5. daily tear off calendars
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