My New Address

I have moved to a new address!

Come and join me at www.cazandramacdonald.com :)

I'm Moving!

Just to a new blog address:)

Save the link to this page and I will be up and running at my new Word Press home soon!

Blessings to you, my friends.

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What's the Name of Your Horse?

I started riding lessons back in November.  You will find me just about every Saturday riding in the hills behind our church in the arroyos and hills of Rio Rancho with my wonderful teacher, Maggie, and my trusty steed, Kelsey.

It took me years before I followed my passion to ride.  I identify my riding as answering a "calling."  A calling is not just church ministry.  A calling is a strong feeling to follow a job, a career, a vocation.  But it is also an answer to something that will fulfill you.  Maybe it's teaching, volunteering, creating art, designing, or being a mom.  Callings will often change depending on the season of life we are in.  The important thing is to listen and follow the calling that has been put on your heart.

Even though I have loved horses my entire life, I never fully understood the importance of following through and "stepping out of my box" to actually see what riding on a regular basis would be like.  Part of me was afraid that if I tried it that I may not enjoy it and my desire and passion to ride all of these years would have been for nothing.  But what I did do was step out in faith, follow the passion and calling that had been put on my heart so many years ago, and when I did, God delivered and I was not disappointed.  And God led me to this particular time in my life, when I needed to fulfill my passion for riding.

It's not about your age, financial situation, weight or color that determines your calling in life, it's what God is putting on your heart. 

Are you listening?  Have you been afraid to follow through?

What's the name of your horse?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  A clear, New Mexico day

2.  My son returning home safely from his choir trip

3.  receiving a handwritten card in the mail

4.  On-line photo ordering

5.  Making new friends

Jack of All Trades...Master of None?

I had a college friend who graduated with a Music Education degree...he worked hard, student taught, and decided music education was not for him.  Are you kidding me?  You didn't like it and now you have a degree and are looking for a job outside of music?

That bewildered me.  I always knew I would be a band director and thought I would retire as a band director.  Well, God had other things in store for me.  He plopped a job opportunity in my lap back in 2002.  I wasn't looking for it and never dreamed I would change careers.  I mean, I had a degree in Music Education!  How in the world could I go into marketing?  Leaving education was a huge leap of faith, and I don’t regret it one bit.

I truly believe that once you have taught in the public schools, you can do anything :)  Being a band director taught me so much more than just how to teach music.  Accounting, relationships, organizing, planning, public speaking, mediation, creativity...the list goes on.  It was a great springboard into my new career in the healthcare industry and I have been fortunate to work in the industry for the past eleven years.

But there are times I doubt myself.  Yes, there's that doubt again.  In my current role, I am a "go to" person for our national team.  The joke is "if you don’t know what to do, ask Caz!"  I am the longest remaining member of the original team and help with many different things. 

Sometimes I feel as if I am a "Jack of all trades," which is helpful to many, and "a master of none," which is disappointing to me.  The reality is that we all have parts of our jobs that we may not enjoy and have to endure so that we can do the fun things...the things we enjoy the most.  I have the ability to step it up and make things happen...and it's time to move forward.

Here's to the season of the fun stuff :)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  A soft, loaf of bread
2.  Getting rid of clutter
3.  The smell of a great candle

4.  Cold snaps after "Spring" has started

5.  Homemade cookies

 

 

Fear, Doubt, Anxiety and Worry

Ugh!  Aren't these four of the absolute worst things?

Fear can lock us into a place where we can become paralyzed.

"But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.  For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you."  Isaiah 43:1-3 (NIV)

 

Fear of the unknown is a big hurdle for me.  "Will I be able to do everything I need to be successful?  What is I start a project and fall flat on my face?  What if no one shows up to my study?"

Doubt can lead a person to not believe in their abilities.

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done."  Mathew 21:21 (NIV)

As for doubt, that is a big enemy that creeps into my heart on a daily basis.  "Cazandra you are not good enough.  Cazandra you don't have the skills you need for this job.  Cazandra your ministry is not as important as others."  Ooh, it goes on and on and listening to the truth is sometimes hard.

Anxiety can affect an individual to the point where they cannot function.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"  Matthew 6:25-27 (NIV)

I struggle with anxiety and there are times I feel as if my heart is going to come out of my body!  It is a scary feeling, but I find that when I breathe and pray and try to focus on the truth that I am able to combat my anxiety.

Worry can eat your life up by putting your energies into something that may or may not transpire.

 "Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."  1 Peter 5:7  (NIV)

 

I used to be an extreme worrier.  But over the years I have let go and let God come into my life. 

Beloved, we have to let God take over our hearts completely.  Yes, completely.  Not just when times are good but when time times are especially rough.  In all things we should be giving thanks for what God has put in our path.

With God, all things are possible.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Ice cream
2. Card games
3. Vacation photos
4. Cucumber water
5. New friends

Reconnecting

I am on vacation! Me the hubs and our boys came to Colorado for a week of respite. With the exception of a doctor's appointment for "Christian", we have not had plans. We have slept in, eaten very well and just been together. We are heading to Colorado Springs tomorrow and back to New Mexico on Friday.

It has been wonderful (despite the blizzard and not having our heavy coats) :)

The highlight of our trip has been the never ending game of UNO (or as Christian calls it NANO)! Seven times through the deck and I was the winner! It is these times of togetherness that money cannot buy.

We all get so busy with work and lessons and homework and ministry that our connections to our family can get broken. It is critical that we take the time to recharge and refresh our hearts and minds.

That's where I am and will be back next week with a renewed heart and mind.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. cold toes

2. diner food

3. no schedules

4. unplugging the phone

5. letting go

 

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Where You Belong

There have been many times in my life when I wondered if I was where I belonged.

I think it's a natural thing.  We wonder if we are living our lives to the fullest.  Are we following the path God has placed in front of us?  Are we truly doing the best we can to do more than just "exist"?

Today I had a moment.  A moment where I felt God's presence.  It was more than knowing He was with me and that I was loved….it was through singing and leading worship that took me back to a time early in my faith journey where God was working on me in  a huge way.  I could smell the incense in the church I attended so many years ago and it was there that I discovered how much music was truly a part of my life and how vital it was to the way I worshipped.

 

The music today, the smell of the flowers, the faces old and new in the congregation, and looking down to witness my oldest son giving communion to my youngest son was when I knew I was where I belonged.  Serving, worshipping and experiencing God. 

I truly felt like I was at home.

Today I Am Thankful For:

 

1.  Long naps

2.  Sandwiches
3.  Cocktail peanuts
4.  Plastic containers

5.  Frasier

Good Friday

We participated in an amazing Good Friday service tonight. This is an evening I look forward to every year. It's a time to stop and focus on the sacrifice that was made for all of creation. It's almost just too much to try and comprehend.

I caught myself praying, "God, I know I am not worthy enough...." and I immediately stopped myself. Who is worthy enough for the gift God gave us? The truth is, none of us are, but God knew before we were born that He would love us enough for the sacrifice He would make. God knew what He was doing. He knew that the hardest thing in the world would be to sacrifice His son, but it was done out of a love greater than we will ever understand.

My prayer for you is that you take a moment to stop and think about what we are celebrating. It's not about the Easter bunny and the egg hunts or the pastel colors and new outfits for church, it's about the One who saved us. The One who knows we fall short every single day of being great human beings. The One who will love us for all eternity.

Look at the hands of someone you love and imagine nails being driven through them. It's too much! How in the world could someone do that?

It is the greatest gift that was given to the world...to each of us.

Make the most of each day and live it to the fullest.

Remember who came for you.

Today I Am Thankful For:
1. broccoli
2. Easter pails
3. clean jammies
4. thoughtful, meaningful worship experiences
5. flip flops

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Praying

I went to church tonight to experience "prayer stations".  Throughout the church, stations were set up that gave each participant new ways to think about prayer.  One station was a scrabble board and you were encouraged to form words that represented God in your life.  Another station had each person draw images of prayers that were on their hearts and another had you view different images of Jesus and spend time in prayer. 

After I experienced each station, I was drawn to sit in prayer, in the quiet of the sanctuary.  It was dimly lit, meditative music playing in the background and uninterrupted time to myself to be with God.

I don't allow myself this time every day.  It should be top priority, but I often let life take over.  It's not about having the perfect atmosphere to spend time in prayer (even though it sure is nice to have the perfect environment).  Part of my problem is that I put my prayer life in a box.  If it's not done a certain way and I "mess up" then why continue? 

We have the opportunity to start over each morning.  When God blesses us with yet another day how do we choose to honor Him?

Our prayer life may not look perfect on the outside but it's following through and developing our relationship with Christ that counts.

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."  Colossians 4:2 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  A new book
2.  Plums
3.  An organized cabinet

4.  A stocked pantry

5.  Ziploc bags

Reminders

Without my iPhone I would be terribly lost.  I set alarms and reminders to keep my day moving...when to pick up the boys, when it's time for a conference call, appointments, lists of items to pick up at the store...it never ends!

Today I received a reminder that was not electronic and it made me stop for a moment.

One of dear friends took a moment out of her day to send me a card and the inside read,

"I'm praying for you…

             and trusting with you…
             and reminding you you're loved and cared for more than you know."

At that moment I felt God's arms around me.  He knows the struggles I am having.  He knows how I have been feeling defeated.  And He used a friend to pass along that reminder that the Creator of the Universe loves me more than I can imagine.

So many of us are good at helping others.  We tend to be the "strong" ones who keep things together or we use the practical side of our minds to make things happen.  We don't always allow ourselves to be on the receiving end and let people know we struggle and need a little help.

But God knows what we need.  He never leaves us and is always closer than we think.

Today He showed off in a big way by using one of his faithful servants to reach out and remind me that I was loved.

          You may be the next person He uses in a way bigger than you could ever imagine. 
          It doesn't take much to follow through and listen to what God is telling us to do. 

If you feel that nudge on your heart to reach out to someone, don't hesitate. 

 

You may just be the reminder someone needs.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."  Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)

 

 

Today I Am Thankful For:

 

1.  ice packs

2.  clean floors

3.  barking dogs

4.  candles

5.   Easter candy

Joy ….Revisited

Did you select a "word" for 2013?  (It's not too late)!

 My "OneWord" for 2013 is Joy.  I want to spend this year recognizing and relishing in the joy in my life and not letting those moments slip past me unnoticed.  I guess you could say it's also about being more intentional. 

If you think there is no joy in your life and everything seems to be filled with gloom and doom, then I invite you to start reading a book that I just began, "Until I SayGoodbye," by Susan Spencer-Wendel with Bret Witter.  Susan is a fortysomething mother of two, happily married journalist who was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) in 2009.  She has written a book about celebrating life.

"HarperCollins calls Susan’s story 'a powerfully emotional, inspirational and irrepressibly joyous look at the things that matter most… Until I Say Goodbye is the fulfillment of her final wish: "To make people laugh and cry and hug their children and joke with their friends and dwell in how wonderful it is to be alive."

Talk about putting life into perspective.

This brave woman wanted nothing more than to dedicate year to joy, to visit places she had never been, to give each of her children a special experience as a final gift and to leave those of us fortunate enough to read her final work words of inspiration.

These past several months have been filled with challenges in our family surrounding the health of our youngest son.  But through all of the hospitals, treatments, ice packs, days of school and work missed, factor, and pain, God has been evident in our lives.  He has helped me remember that things can always be worse and that where we currently are is where we are to be.  It is His plan...even if I don't particularly like the path sometimes.

We have had tons of joyous moments in the hospital as we sit and wait and wait some more.  Joyous moments as we are "forced" to be still and change plans, and joyous moments as we see the all too familiar faces on the 6th floor as we are admitted and even better, when we are discharged.

Thank you, Susan, for sharing your heart and your passion.  You have helped me to remember that my journey is important.  That I have a purpose in this world, and that our lives are truly filled with many chapters. 

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Freshly polished toes

2.  An exceptionally, wonderful horseback ride

3.  Too many books

4.  Sunday afternoons

5.  Felt tip markers

His Best

I am having a hard time believing this nugget of inspiration right now.

I know that everything in our lives happens for a purpose. A purpose that may be easy to see during the event but often times it takes quite some time to understand the reasons why we go through certain trials and tribulations.

In this case the "No" we were given was regarding "Christian's" treatment for his inhibitor (complication as a result of his hemophilia). Two different drugs were administered and both caused significant reactions in my sweet boy. We had been waiting for over six years for this treatment to start with the hopes of eradicating the inhibitor, and it looks like this will not be the path for treatment.

How can I possibly think that God's best did not happen for my sweet Christian? Doesn't the Creator of the Universe, the One who I put all my trust in, The Most High want my son to move forward the best way possible with his bleeding disorder?

I am not asking for God to "take the hemophilia away", I am just asking for it to be a little easier in treating my son's extremely painful, limiting bleeds. It is devastating to see him in pain.

I believe that I am a woman of faith...but even women of faith shake sometimes. I don't like the feeling of defeat that I am feeling right now. I know that I have done everything I physically can for my son and would give my life for him, and I pray that the next chapter of battling this bleeding disorder will bring relief for my son.

Thank you, Father. I know that the best is yet to come.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. late night flights
2. washer/dryers in hotels
3. hospital food
4. thinking ahead
5. ninjas

Stop! Be Still!

We don't stop.  Our lives are filled with craziness and we just keep moving from one thing to the next.  Work is busy, the kids schedules keep us hopping and our church ministry is ongoing.  Teaching a bible study, making dinner, getting homework done….it just doesn't stop.

Our family was forced to stop over the past several days.  "Christian" had another really intense knee bleed and everything came to a screeching halt so we took him to the hospital where he was admitted for five days.  Work takes a back seat, making dinner definitely does not happen, and running back and forth from home to the hospital commences.

When you are in the hospital with a child, there is only so much you can do.  You are forced to put your life on hold and take care of what is most important.  I think this is one of those "God things".  I am forced to take a moment to breathe without the worries of everyday living.  It's not exactly the best way to slow down, but sometimes it takes these moments to make us focus.

Waiting teaches us who we are.  That still, small voice in our heads is God trying to get through to us.

We should use the Lenten season to listen to what God is trying to tell us as we prepare for Easter.  Slowing down is not in our vocabulary, but it's amazing what becomes important when you do take a moment to really look at what is going on around you.

"Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!"  Psalm 46:10 (AMP)

Love

When I found my soul mate, at the time I didn't know he was "the one".  But God sure did.  By all accounts, Joe MacDonald and I should probably never have gotten together.  People said we were too different, he was wild and crazy, I was extremely uptight.  He was spontaneous, I loved knowing what was coming next.  He was Protestant, I was Catholic, wasn't that a big enough difference? :)

"The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one’s relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life."  Sir Hugh Walpole

All these years later after career changes, children, relocating, losing parents, ministering...I can honestly say that the thing that has bound us together through everything in our lives is love. 

• Love so deep that I never dreamed it existed.

• Love so profound and overwhelming that you can hardly breathe. 

• Love so rich that if God took you from this world at this very moment, you would say that you had experienced everything life had to offer with no regrets.

You don't have to be a "soul mate" on this Earth to experience this kind of love.  You already have it, Beloved.  God loves you this way.  He loves you in a way that you can't put into words.  He loves you at this moment, just exactly how you are.  We are all broken people.  We struggle with something and God will meet us right where we are at.  You just have to have an open heart.

My prayer for you today is that you know you are loved with an everlasting, unfailing love that only the Creator of the Universe can give you. 

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."  1 John 4:7-8 (NIV) 

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  A surprise serenade by a barbershop quartet!
2.  Old sweaters
3.  Surprising my children
4.  Sunshine in Winter
5.  Joe Keith MacDonald, the love of my life

Preparation

One of my new roles at our church is head of the Worship Committee.  This committee ensures that every part of the worship experience is thought through for each service.  Are the bread and juice ready and set out on the altar, is the music playing at the appropriate times, are ushers and greeters available to direct people, and are the paraments and banners hung and displayed in the appropriate colors for the season? 

Last night I enlisted the help of my family to get the sanctuary ready for the Lenten season.  We have long pieces of fabric that drape the sides of the church and it takes time (and going up and down a high ladder several times) to hang it correctly.

It took a while, but we changed all of the colors on the altar to purple, hung the banners, straightened up the choir loft...and I hate to admit it, but I was stressed out and in a terrible mood when I was doing it.  I failed to realize that I was doing one of the most important things I could be doing for the Lenten season...I was helping to prepare.

Today I was thinking about John and Peter and how they were sent in to Jerusalem to prepare the Passover Seder for the disciples.  They had to get the food, make a sacrifice in the Temple, clean up, set the table….there was much to be done.  I am not sure what their attitudes were while they were in the midst of preparing, but I like to think that they were mindful and prayerful, knowing that something amazing was going to take place in that Upper Room.

In what seems to be unimportant to many can be miraculous to others.  We can take the times of preparation in all things to glorify God.  The time it takes to prepare a meal, to prepare clothes to be laundered, to prepare a presentation for work, to prepare a bath of warm water to bathe a child.  All of these moments can be used in prayer...not just speaking the words, but in demonstrating through our actions the importance of each act.

As we enter the Lenten season, remember that this is a time of preparation for the coming of Christ.  Use these 40 days and nights to prepare your heart to become closer to Christ.  Join a Bible Study at church, read a daily devotional, be intentional about your prayers and most importantly work as though you are working for the Lord (Colossians 3:23).

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Ring pops

2.  Wheelchairs

3.  My stylus

4.  trying a new restaurant
5.  a compassionate 1st grade teacher

Joy

Some people try to find joy in "things".  Material things.  They may find joy for a moment, but not the kind of joy that lasts a lifetime.

I saw joy last night as my little "Christian" went to bed with a painful ankle bleed.  I went into his room several times to check on him and in bed with him was the light saber that his friend bought him at the  circus.  It drew his attention away from his pain.  He was experiencing joy in the midst of pain.

At that moment, he asked me to rub his foot.  Whenever he has a bleed in his ankle, he asks for someone to lightly stoke his swollen joint.  It's soothing to him.  In that moment where my son was feeling pain, a pain I cannot understand, I found a moment of joy.  Joy that I have an amazing child who endures more than most people I know.  Joy in knowing I had everything I needed to care for my son.  Joy in the fact that I have been taught how to be strong and courageous when I didn't think I could. 

Joy is a "source" of happiness.  Having joy doesn't mean we are happy all of the time.  It means we have that deep down connection inside of us, knowing that God is truly our inspiration for all things.  He is the one who brings us joy.  Often times we have difficult situations thrown at us and those are the times when it is hard to find that joy. 

We need to stay strong and courageous in our daily living.  There is nothing that is given to you that you are unable to handle...absolutely nothing!  Believe that, Beloved!  Dig down deep within yourself to find joy in every circumstance and in every situation. 

God loves you more than you can imagine.  That should bring you joy to last a lifetime.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Rice
2.  Frozen, precooked chicken = lunch in a flash
3.  File folders
4.  A new t-shirt
5.  Ice packs

A Bad Attitude

I had such a yucky day on Tuesday.  I wasn't feeling good, I had to work and I had zero energy.  And to top everything off I had to teach Bible Study in the evening.

The absolute last thing I felt like doing was teaching Bible Study. I mean I was in the kind of mood where I was ready to pick a fight with someone!

I had no one to call in at the last minute to teach for me and I had to get it together.  How in the world could God use me when I felt so crummy and I didn't want to even be present?

The Word of God just does something to you.  You read it, you speak it, you share with others and you can be transformed.  That evening of Bible Study brought laughter to a soul who needed a lift, a new scripture to a woman who needed something to hold on to and a bond to a group of women that are looking for connection.

Beloved, God uses you in ways you can't even imagine...in places you would never dream and even by doing things you consider routine.  If you live your life to serve others as if you are serving Christ, you just can't go wrong. 

"Oozing" is a way of life.  It doesn't always happen when you feel great, but if you step out in faith and do the next right thing...especially when you don't feel like it.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."  Colossians 3:23-24  (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  A stack of new magazines

2.  Blow dryers

3.  iPad's

4.  Missed appointments

5.  Dinner at church on Wednesday's

Having The Right Words...when my Facebook Chimed

Have you ever been in a situation when someone needed your help and you just did not have the words?

I have an amazing friend who lives in a neighboring state.  To say she has difficulties in her life is an understatement.  She has a husband, kids, job, and tons of responsibilities and I have never seen her get angry with God or run away from what she believes to be true.  She is a solid example of what a woman of faith looks like. 

I have to admit that I ran away from her.  She confided in me regarding a terribly difficult situation and I just absolutely had no idea what to say.  I didn't know how to comfort her or help her make sense of anything.  And I have not talked to her since...until my Facebook chimed in tonight.  I know that we don't always have the right words, and sometimes just being a presence for someone, even on a telephone line, or the other side of a Facebook chat is all someone needs.

But what about those times where you can't spit out the words fast enough?  As I was sitting in the hospital last weekwith my little one, my Facebook chat chimed again.  It was a very dear friend of mine from High School!  I haven't talked to her since our 10 year reunion (in 1996) :)

She was my "Baptist" friend who was always at church.  She always went to "youth group" or VBS.  In my Catholic upbringing (not everyone's Catholic upbringing), religion was not discussed.  We just "went to Mass" and my mom never let me go to her church even after I pleaded with her time after time.  I think I was always searching, even at that young age. 

 

"Gina" had some questions about being "Methodist" as she and her husband just joined a wonderful Methodist church.  I told her, "Call me anytime!"  And my phone rang five minutes later.  Hearing the twang of her Southern accent warmed my heart and when she asked me questions I had the words.  She even said, "Cazandra, isn't it funny that all those years ago God knew we would come together talking about faith even though we didn't back then?"
 

Yes, Gina, He did know that.  And I will continue to pray to God to give me the strength and wisdom to have the words when needed and the wisdom to know when my presence is enough.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Discharge papers from the hospital

2.  Pretty boxes

3.  Friends who trust you

4.  Extension cords

5.  chimes

Always Searching

I enjoy shopping at Sam's Club. I don't go very often and am not one to buy hundreds of dollars of items at a time, just a few things now and then. One of the things I enjoy most about shopping at Sam's is visiting the book aisle. They always have a pretty good collection of Christian books, journals and Bible Studies.

95% of the time I leave with a book. Not because I am looking for a curriculum to teach at my regular Tuesday night group, but because I am always looking for words and truths that will enhance my spiritual life.

"Maybe this is the study I need to work on during my devotional time? It may just be "the one" that helps me get closer to God. This could be the book that highlights that "certain scripture" that changes everything for me!" I just don't want to miss anything.

I think everyone is on a quest. Some people want to be famous and have stellar careers in their industry. Others want to have the comforts of the world and want to make tons of money. And there are even people on a quest to have good, solid relationships with those in their lives.

I am on a quest to know the Creator of the Universe. In my world, it is Jesus Christ. I am not concerned that I am "still searching", it's when I stop searching and wanting to be closer to Christ that I need to worry.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29:13-14 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. rakes

2. potting soil

3. a rainy day (not very common in New Mexico)

4. spot remover

5. Christ meeting me when I step out in faith

 

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On Fire!

Sometimes you need a reminder. A reminder that what you are passionate about is truly something to dive into with your whole heart.

I have a passion for ministry and over the past several years I have let my passion for speaking to women take a backseat to life. With all of my "Christian's" health issues, being a pastor's wife and making a big move to further my husband's ministry, I've not given a lot of attention to my speaking ministry.

I am at the She Speaks Intensive Conference and let me tell you....I am on FIRE! I needed this. I am learning some new ways to approach my messages and I am realizing that it is time to move forward and not make anymore excuses.

I'll be in the thick of learning through Tuesday and am beyond excited :)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. SONIC being close to my hotel

2. Getting past the fear of meeting new people

3. A good night's sleep

4. Contributing to discussions

5. Travel plans gone really, really wrong :)

 

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What is Waiting?

I remember when I was a young girl how I would dream of the man I would marry, the house I would live in, the names of my children and what my life would be like.
It's funny how none of what I dreamed of so long ago ever came to be...it's only better :)
I thought I had completely learned how to let go of what I "expected" to happen in my life and am coming to realize that there is a big part of me that still holds on to some things. Sometimes I feel as if I should just stop and accept my position in life... mother, wife, pastor's wife...why should I want more? Is it selfish?
I know the answer to that is no. I just start to doubt myself as I step out in faith to further my ministry and my calling.

This week I have my first meeting with the District Committee of Ordained Ministry in the United Methodist Church. This group will help me in the process of determining whether or not I am called to ordained ministry, or if my ministry as the wife of a pastor and speaker is enough for me.
I also leave for the She Speaks Intensive on Saturday. I will spend three days in intensive workshops developing my skills in message preparation. I am completely stepping out of my comfort zone with this, but know I am called to attend.

Things happen and plans change. Sometimes at the drop of a hat and other times change happens over time. Change is inevitable. It's how we respond to it that determines what our future will look like.

And we just never know what is waiting for us.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. homemade soup
2. quick trips to Wal-Mart
3. kleenex with lotion in each sheet
4. horses
5. a hug of thanks from my sick teenager

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Moving Forward

I am called to ministry. I have definitely felt God's call since my family moved to New Mexico six years ago. My biggest question is how to live out that calling. Most people would think that being the wife of a pastor would be enough...it's just not. My passion is to speak and teach and I have had some amazing opportunities in speaking to women's groups and speaking across the country to families affected by bleeding disorders. The beautiful thing is that my ministry has not been solely in the "religious" realm, but also in the corporate world of motivational speaking.

Now that we have settled in to our new lives in Rio Rancho, it is time for me to step it up. I will be attending an intensive speaker's workshop in a couple of weeks in North Carolina. The women at Proverbs 31 Ministries have developed a program for women who are Christian speakers. I attended their She Speaks conference several years ago and it was amazing. I am looking forward to the next step in this journey (and am fighting doubt about this daily).

I don't want life to pass me by by making excuses for not pursuing my passions. One big step I have taken recently is that I have started taking horseback riding lessons! I have loved horses all my life and decided it was time to make time for myself and feed my passion.

What are you doing differently this year to feed your passion?

 

Today I Am Thankful For

1. Baking cookies on a Sunday afternoon

2. Peanuts

3. The Food Network

4. Paper towels

5. The kids going back to school!

 

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Joy in 2013

I was not feeling too well and my hubby and I had a date to go see the touring production of "Rock of Ages". Honestly my heart was not in to it but off we went.

Now I love a good production, and when they come to town you never know the quality....this was FANTASTIC! The show was so much fun and all that great 80's music....it just doesn't get much better.

At the end of the show, the big final number had everyone on their feet like we were at a rock concert! It was a moment of pure Joy. Just pure (not exactly clean) fun.

You never know when those moments of absolute joy sneak into your life...grab those moments and cherish them.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Hot dates with my hubby
2. Benadryl
3. A built in babysitter (my "Lance")
4. Conference calls
5. A friend finding the love of his life

 

 

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