The Way He Loves

During our recent hospital stay, I pulled my "Christian" around the hospital in a red wagon so we could try to keep the "cabin fever" away. As we were passing the big reception desk, a flyer taped to the desk caught my attention..."PCOS Seminar."

Most people would say I should not have seen that flyer. It was lying flat and not posted on a wall. I wasn't standing "at" the desk, so why did I see it? I'll tell you why, because God ordained it! He wanted me at that seminar!

PCOS is a "syndrome" that affects many women. It deals with insulin resistance in the body and I have lived with it for about 14 years (read more about PCOS here).

The physician presenting, from Colorado Springs, has begun a twelve session series regarding PCOS and is working to bring the "Advanced PCOS Institute" to the University of New Mexico. It sounds like an amazing program that manages this chronic condition.

I asked a question during the presentation and the doctor told me that the infertility clinic at UNM would work with me to start the process of this program and not have to "wait" for the program to come to UNM! (The crazy part is that I have an appointment with a specialist next week...the wrong kind).

God knows everything about us. The things that make us happy and sad, our fears, our deepest desires, and the shame so many of us carry around and buy into.

Every day I have to fight against the lies that the enemy plants in my head. Tonight, God let me in on a little something..there are women out there struggling with the exact same things I struggle with. We are not alone.

We are surrounded by others who have the same beliefs and struggles and we need to be there for each other. We need to learn to "struggle well."

And the coolest thing of all, God made himself known to me clearly tonight. He literally brought me to a place of acceptance. A place where I did not feel alone while in a room of strangers. It was a reminder that He never leaves me and loves me with a love I can't begin to comprehend.

Just the way He loves you.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. an organized binder
2. Avery labels
3. red flowers
4. wind chimes
5. I-25

New Every Morning

A brand, new spiral notebook (because I need another brand, new spiral notebook). A fresh start. A clean slate. It's the notion that nothing bad from your past is taken into account. Today is a new day.

"God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left!"
Lamentations 3:22-24 The Message

What do we do with a "clean slate?" Do we truly start over every day? I can easily equate this with my never ending self care (do you notice I didn't just say D-I-E-T-?). If my present day ends in overeating or not exercising...there's always tomorrow. Right?

If we are blessed enough to wake up yet another day, then God is not through with us yet. Do we truly use that next day to the best of our ability or do we live in the mistakes of our past? I tend to not let go. I beat myself up and in the bludgeoning I am missing out. Missing out on the best life that God has blessed me with. Missing out on being a blessing not just to myself, but to others. And, being a blessing to Him.

What is holding you back from accepting the gift of a new day filled with grace?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Origins Ginger Souffle
2. straws
3. former students
4. a great mattress
5. a dead laptop

Humidity

I lived in Houston for 30+ years, and humidity was something you lived with. Over 100%? No worries, it was the norm.

Now that I live in the desert where the humidity is in the single digits, Ah, Life is Good! No more bad hair days...that is...until the monsoon season strikes.

Our humidity is in the 60% range and I am suffocating! My hair! It's awful the minute I walk outside my house!

But you know what the truth is? What is on the outside does not always reflect what is on the inside. God knows our insides. He doesn't worry about what our outsides are doing as much as what is going on in our hearts.

I struggle with my outward appearance. I need to lose weight, my hair is having a bad day, I could use a few new pieces of clothing. What I need to spend my energy on is the inside of myself. The words I use to talk to myself.

I am reading a great book, "Self Talk, Soul Talk" by Jennifer Rothschild and I am also working her bible study "Me, Myself and Lies" with Beth Moore at the LPM Blog.

We can dress ourselves up, have perfect hair and makeup, but if the words we speak to ourselves are ugly and not of God, the outside is just for show.

I need to work harder at getting my insides to match what the Lord wants for me.

What about you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my weekly menu
2. webcams
3. socks
4. my corner rounder
5. UPS

A Wonderful Message

I had the wonderful blessing of hearing Liz Curtis Higgs speak this past Saturday. She is the author of the Bad Girls of the Bible series, along with numerous other works. She is a hoot! I heard her a year ago in Houston so to have heard this amazing woman of God speak twice is a tremendous blessing to me.

She presented on three women of the Bible, Hagar, Sarah and Leah. It was wonderful teaching. But more than anything what I appreciated the most was hearing Liz's testimony interwoven throughout her presentation. I'd heard it before, but it really touched me this second time around. She is a self proclaimed "FBG", Former Bad Girl.

What did I bring back from God speaking through her Saturday? That God loves us exactly the way we are, right now. Liz reminded me that we, as women, are always in a state of apology. Have you been there? Apologizing for letting our bodies go, apologizing for not nurturing relationships, apologizing for not "being the best" all of the time.

We have to stop apologizing and give God the glory. In all things, in all circumstances. He has a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and we have to go through many things to receive what He has in store for us.

Stop apologizing...give Him the glory!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. safe travels for my husband
2. baskets
3. an old, unfinished trunk
4. bubbles
5. being remembered

The Scale

I've gotten in the habit of weighing myself on Wednesday mornings. I think I need to stop. I have been working so hard by going to the gym Monday through Friday and working with a personal trainer. It's been good. I do feel better and have been pushing myself and feeling really good about it.

I know my body is changing, and I feel good, but why do I get wrapped up in the number on the scale?

I am NOT the number on the scale! I am so much more than that.

I am a child of God, who has been called to speak His truths. I am a wife and mother who keeps the house running through bleeds and a husband traveling out of state to seminary once a week. (And I do the occasional business trip as well). I am a minister to women, I am a friend and a confidant, etc., etc.

Do you get the picture? You are all these things and more! Don't let the number on the scale overwhelm you and dictate to you what you think of yourself!

I bought a small, spiral notebook and have started filling it with scripture and quotes that speak to me. I've put it on the treadmill (to cover the timer) and fill my heart with these words as I am pushing myself to get through those "30 minutes".

This is the scripture that has been on my heart:

"Commit to the Lord everything you do. Then your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3

The scripture does not say Commit to the Lord everything you do "perfectly"...or Commit to the Lord everything you do "successfully"... We need to commit everything we do to Him. My mind wanders while I am on the treadmill, and yesterday I made it a point to fill it with prayers and His word.

My prayer is for you to fill your hearts with His word. Go to Him in everything you do.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my iPod
2. coffee
3. my auto mechanic offering us a payment plan
4. freedom to work flexible hours
5. my dog snoring

"Ta-Da!"

I was so blessed to hear Christian author, Liz Curtis Higgs, this past weekend. She was the keynote speaker at the Celebration Womens' Ministry Spring Conference. She is funny, passionate and uplifting to hear. What a treat! She really hit home for me. Liz talked about how we, as women, will look in the mirror in disgust at what we see. How we constantly compare ourselves to an ideal that is practically impossible to achieve. Instead of groaning and looking at our faults, we should get in front of the mirror each morning and say "Ta-Da!" Because, we, his Beloved ones, are made the way we are, in his image. I've heard people say "God doesn't make junk." If we truly believe that, then why do we constantly put ourselves through the comparison process? Why aren't we good enough the way we are? Yes, I know, we need to stay healthy and eat right and exercise, but doing those things doesn't always guarantee you will be a size 6. I have known some very physically "fit" people who were large and some very physically "unfit" people who were supermodel thin. Taking care of our bodies should be a priority. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor god with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19

I struggle with my body image everyday. But I have made a promise to myself to work on my mindset and say "Ta-Da!" everyday. God has a perfect plan and you and I are in it! Isn't that amazing? I am surely not going to say that He didn't do good enough in making me who I am, right at this moment. But I will definitely work harder each day to honor God by taking care of myself.