Reconnecting

I am on vacation! Me the hubs and our boys came to Colorado for a week of respite. With the exception of a doctor's appointment for "Christian", we have not had plans. We have slept in, eaten very well and just been together. We are heading to Colorado Springs tomorrow and back to New Mexico on Friday.

It has been wonderful (despite the blizzard and not having our heavy coats) :)

The highlight of our trip has been the never ending game of UNO (or as Christian calls it NANO)! Seven times through the deck and I was the winner! It is these times of togetherness that money cannot buy.

We all get so busy with work and lessons and homework and ministry that our connections to our family can get broken. It is critical that we take the time to recharge and refresh our hearts and minds.

That's where I am and will be back next week with a renewed heart and mind.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. cold toes

2. diner food

3. no schedules

4. unplugging the phone

5. letting go

 

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Joy ….Revisited

Did you select a "word" for 2013?  (It's not too late)!

 My "OneWord" for 2013 is Joy.  I want to spend this year recognizing and relishing in the joy in my life and not letting those moments slip past me unnoticed.  I guess you could say it's also about being more intentional. 

If you think there is no joy in your life and everything seems to be filled with gloom and doom, then I invite you to start reading a book that I just began, "Until I SayGoodbye," by Susan Spencer-Wendel with Bret Witter.  Susan is a fortysomething mother of two, happily married journalist who was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) in 2009.  She has written a book about celebrating life.

"HarperCollins calls Susan’s story 'a powerfully emotional, inspirational and irrepressibly joyous look at the things that matter most… Until I Say Goodbye is the fulfillment of her final wish: "To make people laugh and cry and hug their children and joke with their friends and dwell in how wonderful it is to be alive."

Talk about putting life into perspective.

This brave woman wanted nothing more than to dedicate year to joy, to visit places she had never been, to give each of her children a special experience as a final gift and to leave those of us fortunate enough to read her final work words of inspiration.

These past several months have been filled with challenges in our family surrounding the health of our youngest son.  But through all of the hospitals, treatments, ice packs, days of school and work missed, factor, and pain, God has been evident in our lives.  He has helped me remember that things can always be worse and that where we currently are is where we are to be.  It is His plan...even if I don't particularly like the path sometimes.

We have had tons of joyous moments in the hospital as we sit and wait and wait some more.  Joyous moments as we are "forced" to be still and change plans, and joyous moments as we see the all too familiar faces on the 6th floor as we are admitted and even better, when we are discharged.

Thank you, Susan, for sharing your heart and your passion.  You have helped me to remember that my journey is important.  That I have a purpose in this world, and that our lives are truly filled with many chapters. 

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Freshly polished toes

2.  An exceptionally, wonderful horseback ride

3.  Too many books

4.  Sunday afternoons

5.  Felt tip markers

What is Waiting?

I remember when I was a young girl how I would dream of the man I would marry, the house I would live in, the names of my children and what my life would be like.
It's funny how none of what I dreamed of so long ago ever came to be...it's only better :)
I thought I had completely learned how to let go of what I "expected" to happen in my life and am coming to realize that there is a big part of me that still holds on to some things. Sometimes I feel as if I should just stop and accept my position in life... mother, wife, pastor's wife...why should I want more? Is it selfish?
I know the answer to that is no. I just start to doubt myself as I step out in faith to further my ministry and my calling.

This week I have my first meeting with the District Committee of Ordained Ministry in the United Methodist Church. This group will help me in the process of determining whether or not I am called to ordained ministry, or if my ministry as the wife of a pastor and speaker is enough for me.
I also leave for the She Speaks Intensive on Saturday. I will spend three days in intensive workshops developing my skills in message preparation. I am completely stepping out of my comfort zone with this, but know I am called to attend.

Things happen and plans change. Sometimes at the drop of a hat and other times change happens over time. Change is inevitable. It's how we respond to it that determines what our future will look like.

And we just never know what is waiting for us.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. homemade soup
2. quick trips to Wal-Mart
3. kleenex with lotion in each sheet
4. horses
5. a hug of thanks from my sick teenager

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Great Things

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  I love spending the day in the kitchen creating our "feast".  My family does not like the occasional Thanksgiving that we are not at home simply because there will not be any leftovers :)  I love that they love my cooking.  Cooking is something I do with my whole heart for my family.  It is a pleasure.

Thanksgiving is a very special time and what I try to share in my ministry, my writing, my witness is that Thanksgiving is a year round practice.  We should be giving thanks not only through the good times, but through the bad times as well.  So often we get going in a good place in our lives and we forget to keep that conversation with God going and telling Him we are thankful for all of the many blessings in our lives.  Every day we should be doing this. 

And what about the bad times?  The truth is that things can always be worse.  The hard part about giving thanks to God during those dark times is remembering to send up words of praise to Him.  That is probably one of the hardest things to do.  Praising during the storm is a true test of faith.

How are you going to keep this season of thanks going throughout the year?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Lamps

2.  The scrapbook store

3.  Page protectors

4.  Receipts

5.  The smell of a clean head of hair

Frying Chicken

 

I love the movie "The Help."  One of my favorite characters is the loud mouthed, sassy, Minnie Jackson, who is a maid for one of the ladies in Jackson.  One of her jobs is teaching her boss Celia Foote, how to cook.  She tells Celia that one of her favorite things to do is fry chicken.  Because everything seems better when you're frying chicken.

I was thinking about Minnie Jackson this evening as I fried up a big "mess of chicken."  Me and my men are going to the mountains for a picnic and hiking tomorrow and we never go to the mountains without fried chicken.

It's funny, but Minnie is right.  When you fry chicken, everything just seems to get better.  Your mind slows down while you season the flour and dip each piece into the milk.  It's a process that cannot be rushed.  I spent the time in prayer for my family, for a dear friend who passed away, for the family who will buy our home in Houston (not sure who it is yet….) and also in giving thanks for the happiness of my family.

Sometimes it takes something as routine as frying chicken to slow down and give thanks.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.   Lemon pepper

2.  Coupon books

3.  An afternoon filled with errands

4.  Ideas

5.  The smell of fried chicken

Wake up Calls and Second Chances

The night before I have to catch a flight, I set at least two alarms.  I'm worried I won't wake up in time.

When I am in a hotel and have an early meeting the next morning, I set two alarms and have the hotel wake up service give me a call (always waking up before any alarm goes off).

But sometimes wake up calls come in different ways. 

A second chance given for making up a grade at school…

Almost losing a job and determining your life's passion…

Even having a health scare that gives you another chance to get your life in shape.

I bet we could all list off a few times in our lives when we have been given a second chance. 

Isn't it amazing the "chances" God has given us….and continues to give us on a daily basis?

His love is all encompassing.  He never turns his back on us even when we continue to turn ours on Him.

Lamentations 3:23 tell us that His mercies are new every morning.  Every morning we wake up, we have another chance to make something better.  I am going to make it a point to continue working on my relationship with Christ to be even stronger.  Christ, the source of my steadiness will keep me at peace when those wake up calls come along.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  kindness

2.  lack of sleep

3.  my iPad

4.  treadmills

5.  good test results

Where I Needed to Be

Yesterday afternoon I was struggling with work.  I just wanted it to be 5:00 pm on Friday!  Then, my cell phone rang.  It was a dear friend of mine who I worked with for many, many years.  I miss her terribly.  Her passion and spirit are contagious.  She is the kind of person children (and adults) gravitate to.  They just want to be in her presence.  I absolutely adore her.

She is struggling because her mother is in the final stages of her life…and my sweet friend called me.  God used me. I was able to relate to her struggle and give her some fresh insights as she tried to make sense of a difficult time.  For someone to reach out to you when they are hurting is humbling.  You learn a lot about yourself when you have to dig deep to help someone else.

Ministry happens at unexpected times.  It’s not always on Sunday mornings within the walls of a church.  It happens during a busy workday, on a weekend with the family, at the store and even late at night on Facebook.

I am honored that God uses me.  When I get complacent about my ministry, He wakes me up in a huge way.

So glad I listened.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.     unexpected phone calls

2.     iced tea

3.     incense

4.     Little Caesars Hot n’ Ready Pizza for $5!

5.     moms

A Beautiful Day

Some days are better than others. 

Some days we run and run, looking at the clock anticipating the next thing on the list that needs to be accomplished.  If we are lucky, we occasionally have a day where the clock is not an issue.  That's one thing I love about Sunday afternoons.  Once church is over and we have eaten lunch, the afternoon is open…..for resting, relaxing and getting our minds ready for the upcoming week.

Yesterday was extra special because we celebrated Easter.  The weather was perfect, church went beautifully, we had a surprise visit by some old friends but most importantly, we celebrated that Christ had risen.

When you really stop to think about what that means, it's almost too much to comprehend.  If you have ever watched "The Passion of the Christ," I think you may have a pretty vivid visual of what Christ endured for each of us.  It was beyond unbearable.  That God would send his only Son to die for us, despite our messiness...despite our checkered pasts and despite the fact that we continue to mess up is just beyond comprehension.

The Lenten season is a journey.  A journey to the Risen Christ.

I am loved. 

Loved beyond words.

You are too.

Today I am Thankful For:

1.  Lilies

2.  Chocolate chip cookies

3.  Baby wipes

4.  DVR

5.  The Easter Bunny :)

BIG Happenings!

When our family stepped out in faith six years ago to come to New Mexico (without a house even rented) it was exhilarating! We knew that we were following the path that Christ had laid out for us. Yes, it was a bit scary, but when you know you are being led, the fear only lasts for a moment.

 My husband has been called to a new appointment. In the United Methodist Church, pastors are on the itinerant system and go where the cabinet (church conference leadership) asks them to go and lead. We are moving in June to Rio Rancho, New Mexico. The fastest growing city in New Mexico.

We are so excited that we can hardly even stand it.

It's bittersweet, because our church family here in Truth or Consequences has done nothing but loved us and loved us well. We are better people because of them. Leaving is going to be hard, but the time has come.

Not only will this move give my husband the chance to pastor a large, growing congregation, but it will put us 17 miles from the hospital where the hematologists for our boys work (instead of being over 2 hours away). It will also give our oldest son the chance to attend the performing arts high school (he's been in online school...not the best fit for him after the assault).
We have been patient and listened. Listened to how God moves our hearts and nudges us into certain directions.

 It's time to step out in faith again and keep listening.

 Today I Am Thankful For:

1 . snow that doesn't stick

2. Jewelry shows

3. a new watch (leopard, of course)

4. the tingling you feel when your feet fall asleep

5. The buzzing of the dryer

What if?

I remember one of my former students, "Mayra."  She was a little, bitty sixth grade oboe player.  I taught her how to open her instrument case, put her fingers on the instrument and make "sounds".  The thing about Mayra was that she always had questions.  "What if I break a reed?  What if this part gets stuck?  What if I play a wrong note?"  and on and on.

I finally got to the point of telling her that if her question started with "what if" it probably wasn't worth asking.

 Don’t we "what if" ourselves into some pretty bad places?  "What if's" get us into trouble.  We wait for an answer to an application and wonder if we are even good enough to apply, we teach a class at church and wonder if we will know enough to make a difference, we even "what if" the decisions we make when parenting our children.  The list goes on and on.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes a good "what if" helps us to plan ahead and be prepared.  But these questions too often take away from what God knows….that we are His Beloved.

If we let the "what if's" take over, we will forget the promise in Ephesians 2:10:

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (NIV)

 God has never made a mistake.  You are here for a purpose.  If we "what if" ourselves into not moving forward and taking chances, we may never know what the good works are that He has in store for us.

 Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Setting clothes out the night before

2.  My leopard print robe

3.  New reading glasses!

4.  Collapsible laundry baskets

5.  Old pillows

Language

I'll be honest about something.  The thing that scares me the most about continuing Seminary is the "language."  When you are in school, your writing takes on a new langage.  An academic style.  I've been writing columns and blogs for quite a while and it does not translate well to the world of "academia." 

It scares me to death.  The whole world of theology is a completely different animal on an academic level.  But I have to suck it up and do it.  I am in the process of researching upcoming classes and getting back into the swing of higher education.

I am excitedly working through my book for the initial process through the church and will meet with my mentor next week for discussion.

Possibilites are everywhere.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  being Diet Coke free for over a week!
2.  video games to pass the time during long infusions
3.  pants with holes (because it means my little one plays hard)
4.  rolling tables in the hospital
5.  possibilities

Time Away...

I've not been writing regularly….I've been searching and listening.

 God has been working on me.  And He has made me listen.  I have felt God's call on my life for quite some time and I have let life get in the way.  My "Christian's" hemophilia has really kept me busy, "Lance" has been struggling with his online schooling, and the death of my dear mother-in-law has been keeping my family life very full.  Top it off with my husband's ministry as a pastor and my working as a patient advocate full-time has left little time for seminary.  I took a break, with all intention of not going back.  I mean, one pastor in the family is enough, right?

I have officially entered the "Inquiry" Process in the United Methodist Church.  I have a mentor, who is one that will truly keep me accountable.  She is a Deacon in El Paso and has worked with my husband quite a bit.  We had our first meeting yesterday.  She is fantastic :)

This process the United Methodist Church has developed helps those who have a call to ministry to discern what they are hearing and feeling.  Sometimes people go through this process and decide to not move forward.  That very well may be what happens with me.  I have not a clue what is to come, I just know that God is leading me to discover what He is truly laying on my heart.

When is the last time you stopped and listened?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Unexpected play dates

2.  Wipeout :)

3.  Kindergarten homework

4.  A plant to re-pot

5.  A new sofa and chair

The Peanut to my Butter

My adorable husband and I are truly ones who finish each others sentences.

We know how to play "good cop bad cop" extremely well.

 We enjoy simple meals at home with our sons.

 And we love each other more than we did over 20 years ago.

I am most grateful for today, because 48 years ago, he was born.

 His precious mother was single and unwed  (and in those days that was not acceptable).

 But she did the most important thing ever, she loved her unborn child, while unsure of the future.

 Happy Birthday to my adorable husband, Joe Keith MacDonald...the peanut to my butter :)

A few of the reasons I am thankful for Joe:

1.  His crazy lyrics to familiar songs
2.  When he breaks out into a spontaneous dance
3.  He embarrasses my teenager

4.  The nightly "tickle shark" that terrorizes my sons

5.  And because he loves me just the way I am.

Musical Memories

I am playing Oboe and English Horn with the Mesilla Valley Concert Band. We rehearse on Sunday evenings and I have been unable to attend as much as I have wanted to this season due to my bout with pneumonia and "Christian" being in the hospital.
I went to rehearsal last night and a flood of memories come back to me. As I was turning the page on a new piece of music, it would not stay flat. I put my hand on the page and pressed it against the stand. The feel of the paper, brand new paper, with a flurry of notes yet to be played reminded me of my school days. In band with Mrs. Dempsey, Mr. Brinkley, Mr. Hess, private lessons with Mr. Villani and Mr. Weaver. I was always so excited when I had a new piece of music in my hand. There is something about the feel of that paper and knowing that the instruments I play bring it to life.

I am rekindling my passion for music. It has been such a joy in my life. I am not spending as much time playing as I would like, but it is a start. Any time I can put in to being passionate is time well spent.

Today I Am Thankful For:
1. Sunday naps
2. Fresh nail polish
3. Routine
4. Frasier
5. rain

For the First Time in a Long Time

This was a wonderful weekend. Breakfast on Saturday morning at our favorite little restaurant, decorating the house for the Christmas season, cooking for my family, baking cookies, and going to church for the first time in a couple of weeks (my husband even consecrated the elements so that our family could celebrate Holy Communion together after church). The bottom line is, my family was together.

It was the first time we have had a couple of "normal" days. Nothing earth shattering happened, it was low key, and absolutely wonderful.

My "Christian" is healing well. He is still having trouble with his ankle and has not returned to school quite yet, but all is looking better than a week ago :)

Now that things have settled down, the enormity of the past two weeks has begun to settle in. I was an emotional mess in church this morning. Just being in the presence of my church family, who has loved us through this difficult time, was almost too much.

I am missing my mother-in-law terribly and seeing my husband hurt brings back the pain in losing my mother so many years ago. We change because of our loss. We are never the same, but we move on and try to live our lives as a testament to what our parents taught us and wanted for us.
I think my husband and I are going to have a bit of a hard time getting into the "holiday spirit," but we are going to try our best. We have to remember that life goes on and the way we handle the difficult times in our lives is seen by our children. I want them to know that we are surrounded by love and that through everything, love endures all.
Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Fresh baked cookies
2. Reading scripture
3. Kleeex with "lotion" (much softer)
4. Prescription refills
5. Snuggling with my little one

The Actor's Studio

I love watching The Actor's Studio. The auditorium where the show is filmed in New York is filled with acting students. The host, James Lipton, interviews actors and gives the audience members the opportunity to ask questions of some of their idols. At the end of the interview, Lipton asks a series of questions of the actor that are the same for everyone. One of the most interesting questions is

"If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?"

Some answers are funny and others very poignant.

What would you hope the Creator of the Universe would say to you? When we think about what our lives would amount to at the end of our time here on Earth it may actually change how we are currently living our lives. For myself, I tend to think not only of how I treat others, but mostly, how I treat myself. The things I tell myself that are not true and the verbal "beating" I take on a daily basis is not very healthy. I treat others much better than I treat myself. It is time to put myself in the same category as the people I come in contact with every day.

I came across a quote which seems to sum up how we should live. .

"Give more than is expected, love more than seems wise, serve more than seems necessary, and help more than is asked." Cory Booker, mayor of Newark, New Jersey

It sounds so simple, and I think to a point it is. We need to give of ourselves as much as we possibly can, love to the point of no return, serve our God and others with every part of our soul and go the extra mile for others, and ourselves.

“Jesus said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them." Matthew 22: 36-40 (The Message)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. The National Hemophilia Annual Meeting 2. rekindling old relationships
3. being in a new city with my family
4. having my boys meet other boys their age with hemophilia
5. factor to travel

A Clean Slate

I have a Buddha Board on my desk.


It is a small, stone surface that you paint on with water and after a short time your artwork disappears. The Buddha Board is based on the Zen concept of living in the moment. I use it to write words that have a hold over me.



Doubt, fear, "fat talk," are just a few. When I write them they are real and bold, but after time, they are gone. That is what I want, for those strongholds to go away and not be as prevalent in my life. I want to let go.



So often we think that January 1st signifies a "new year," a "clean slate." But the reality is that each day God give us, each day we wake up breathing is a new day, a clean slate. What we make of it is up to us.


I am tired of letting certain things take away my happiness and joy.

I am committing to surrendering each day to Christ. I may not succeed everyday, but as long as I have breath, I will do my best to give everything I have to Him and not let the enemy steal my joy.

"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. band rehearsal on Sunday evening's
2. salami sandwiches
3. singing psalms
4. Command strips
5. Fall arriving

What is Holding You Back?

Do you find yourself assuming you have another day? What is keeping you from living today to its fullest? I have several projects waiting to be started and I keep assuming I am going to have plenty of time to complete them. I have come to realize that I need to live my life with more intention...as if I was going to meet my Creator tomorrow. Recently, a couisin of mine, in his thirties, went out with his wife to a party, came home went to sleep and never woke up. He left behind a wife and two small children. It is still hard to grasp that he is gone.

I want to leave a mark on the lives of my children. I want them to remember the craziness in our house...the giggling, the singing and the laughing. I want to write letters to them to let them know how much they mean to me, so that when I am gone, a small piece of me is left behind.

What is holding me back? Maybe it's fear. Fear of what is to come after I die. I know that I will see God one day and that He has already forgiven me of my sins, and He loves me more than I can imagine...I just want Him to see me arrive at those "pearly gates" and have Him embrace me. I want to feel the embrace with every part of my being. I can't wait for the aroma of Christ to envelop me.

I don't know what plan Christ has for me, but I do know it's a big one (Jeremiah 29).

What I do know is that I need to live a life pleasing to Christ. Accepting others despite their past and living in a state of forgiveness. It's a tall order, but I am striving to surrender myself every single day to Him.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. gas station coffee
2. hearty laughs
3. basic black
4. pipe cleaner bracelets
5. cardstock

A Surprising Package

A package came in the mail this week. It was addressed to my fifteen year old and it was from Disney. What in the world would he be getting from Disney? We did just come back from a fantastic vacation at Disneyworld, but what could this be? It was his wallet!


The wallet he lost that he never thought he would see again. It even had the $42 dollars he left in it! We were so surprised. When he lost the wallet and we retraced our steps in Disney, I kept trying to reassure him that it just might show up. Being the teenager he is, he wrote it off and was pretty upset that he lost his last bit of “mad money.” I tried to be positive and encouraging telling him that there are still good people in the world. “Someone just may turn in your wallet” I told him. “Why would anyone turn in a wallet with money?” he asked. I answered, “Because it’s the right thing to do.”

Yes, there are still good people in the world who have high morals and great work ethics. There are individuals who open the doors for each other, put the shopping cart in the “corral” in the store parking lot, and let the person behind them with one item go in front of them at the grocery store.

Many of us believe that the world is filled with more evil than good. Is that true? What happens when a friend is not who they seem to be and reveal an ugly side to their being? What happens when a family member disowns you and you lose contact for years on end? That’s when you have to stop and really look at what you have learned.

Perhaps new friends come into your life who truly need you and your friendship. And that family member you haven’t talked to in years may have been holding you back from your best. Despite a bad situation, good can arise if you are willing to keep an open mind.

There is good in the world. Keep your eyes open. Be part of it.

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Luke 6:45 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. watermelon
2. packages
3. people taking a chance
4. the small glimpses of the changing season
5. being positive

Women's Bible Study

I have been looking for a Bible Study for our women's group and I finally found the one.

Praying in the Messiness of Life, by Linda Douty

The book focuses on praying, but not in the traditional sense. Linda tells us that "traditional" devotional time is not always the best way, or the only way to commune with Christ. We have to find ways to pray and be in devotion throughout the craziness of our busy lives. And when she presents the different types of prayer, it's amazing to see how we can truly "pray without ceasing" throughout our days.


I am loving this book. It is exactly what I was looking for.


I know I am not the only one who wants to have a special devotional time, and is not able to make it work the way I want to. I am tired of feeling guilty about not have a perfect schedule each day by waking up, sitting with my coffee and spending quality time with Christ. Don't get me wrong, if you do this and it works for you, FANTASTIC! It used to work for me, but I am needing something different and am looking forward to studying this book with other women.


What works best for you in the way of daily devotions?


Today I Am Thankful For:


1. 65 degrees in the mountains


2. A spotless house


3. Scented candles


4. Digital cameras


5. Unopened boxes