Praying

I went to church tonight to experience "prayer stations".  Throughout the church, stations were set up that gave each participant new ways to think about prayer.  One station was a scrabble board and you were encouraged to form words that represented God in your life.  Another station had each person draw images of prayers that were on their hearts and another had you view different images of Jesus and spend time in prayer. 

After I experienced each station, I was drawn to sit in prayer, in the quiet of the sanctuary.  It was dimly lit, meditative music playing in the background and uninterrupted time to myself to be with God.

I don't allow myself this time every day.  It should be top priority, but I often let life take over.  It's not about having the perfect atmosphere to spend time in prayer (even though it sure is nice to have the perfect environment).  Part of my problem is that I put my prayer life in a box.  If it's not done a certain way and I "mess up" then why continue? 

We have the opportunity to start over each morning.  When God blesses us with yet another day how do we choose to honor Him?

Our prayer life may not look perfect on the outside but it's following through and developing our relationship with Christ that counts.

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."  Colossians 4:2 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  A new book
2.  Plums
3.  An organized cabinet

4.  A stocked pantry

5.  Ziploc bags

Have You Prayed About It?

So often I get going in my daily routine and by the end of the day some things are laying heavy on me.  "If only I had given this issue some serious prayer…."  I have been establishing my morning routine of prayer and devotion but sometimes, I feel as if I am skipping through prayer.  I fumble and am not sure what I am praying for each day.  I think there is a lot to be said for keeping a small notebook with your Bible and daily readings to jot down those prayers you want to lift up to God.  It is something I am going to get better at with my prayer life.

 This spin on Matthew 21:22 stuck out to me.

Matthew 21:22 in the NIV says, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."  That's trick.  This scripture makes it sound like whatever we ask for, we will receive.  If I ask for a million dollars, will I get it?  Probably, but not necessarily in cold, hard cash.

When I think of my family and the opportunities I have had and continue to have since our recent move, they equal well more than a million dollars.  I can't put a dollar amount on the things I have been blessed with in my life.  Those blessings have sometimes come with a heavy price, but nonetheless, have amounted to riches beyond my wildest dreams.

God's timing is not our timing.  When we pray, we are establishing that relationship with Christ.  We are developing a bond that gets stronger over time (as long as we nurture the relationship). 

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Playgrounds

2.   Scaffolds

3.  White boards

4.  A spotless house

5.  paperweights

Adventure!

Today I am off to Wisconsin to speak at a Couple’s Retreat.  The couples are all affected by a bleeding disorder and my mission is to bring a positive, uplifting message as a parent of children with a bleeding disorder.  This is my passion!  Preaching God’s word and speaking to people about bleeding disorders is what makes me happiestJ . 

After Wisconsin, I will meet the colleagues I work with for a team meeting in Kansas City.  It’s going to be a busy stretch until Wednesday, but I am really looking forward to these trips.

Having the opportunity to travel and work and speak with amazing people is a huge gift…one that I cherish.  The only bad part is that I will be away from my men for a bit (thank goodness for Skype).

I will be back soon and pray that each and every day brings blessings so numerous and amazing to you that it is almost too much to comprehend.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.      Travel size toiletries

2.      Boarding passes

3.      Little bags of peanuts

4.      A window seat

5.      Adventures yet to come

You Just Want to Shake Them

Moving on after the death of someone close to you is very difficult. If you have a spouse, children, close friendships, you can manage. But when your life is tied up into one person and they are suddenly taken away...what do you do? How do you help them move forward?

 Life is a gift. There are so many things to look forward to:
vacations
 the first day of Spring
 a perfectly cooked steak
 the smile of a child
 new beginnings.

 Some people are not strong enough to start over and your first inclination is to want to shake them into understanding! "Don't you see you are being selfish? Don't you see how many people are depending on you? Don't you see that God is not done with you yet?"

We help those in need by praying to God for the words we need to speak. We need to step back, try and step in their shoes and think about their situation. How would we handle being completely alone? How do we help them find the strength they have within themselves?

My prayer for those who are hurting is that God touches their hearts in a way they have never felt. That God stirs in their souls the need to be present in their lives in a way that is worthy of Him.

And that those of us being turned to for help ooze with compassion.

 Today I Am Thankful For:

1. aunts
2. diced pears
3. a clear day
4. catching a bleed early
5. newspapers

A Speaking Gig!

I am really excited about this weekend! I'll be speaking at an event in Fargo, North Dakota on Saturday. I'll be at the "Dakotas Retreat" for famiies with bleeding disorders presenting "From Doubt to Joy - Making the Most of Every Day."

I would appreciate any good thoughts and prayers as I deliver this message to a community of people I am so passionate about.

This is the kind of opportunity I dream of and am so grateful that I am able to share my experiences with others in the bleeding disorder community.


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new opportunities
2. being pneumonia free!
3. being busy and excited again
4. new magazines in the mailbox
5. a new prayer journal

Praying in the Messiness of Life - week 1

Last night was our first Ladies Bible Study for the Fall at First United Methodist in Truth or Consequences. Our study for this session is "Praying in the Messiness of Life," by Linda Douty. I have really enjoyed the book as I read through it on my own and am looking forward to sharing it with this wonderful group of women.

In the introduction, Linda quotes Steve Garnaas-Holmes, and if this is the only thing the women of our group take away from this study, then their time will have been well spent. I just have to share it with you.

"As you sit in prayer
and try to remain mindful of God,
failing because your thoughts wander,
remember this:
that God is perfectly mindful of you always,
attentive to your being and your doing,
never straying from your heart
not missing s single breath,
or forgetting a single heartbeat.
God is never distracted, never forgets.
Without neglecting anything else in Creation,
for all of Creation is present in God,
God is fully present to you,
seeing not from afar but from within
your journeys, thoughts and feelings,
holding tenderly your sins and wounds,
delighting in your gifts and beauties,
fully aware of what you yourself
only dimly suspect deep within you.
God is in all that you see, and in your seeing,
in what you hear, and in your hearing,
in your wondering, in your sorrow, in your awe.
God is grateful for you, and delights in you.
God longs in you, grieves in you, exults in you.
God gives full peaceful, loving attention to you
all your day and all through the night,
not controlling or manipulating,
just beholding, blessing, loving
and breathing life into you,
powerful, joyful, beautiful, infinite life,
granting you mindfulness
and mindful always of you."

Steve Garnaas-Holmes, "God is Mindful," Unfolding Light, 9/21/2010

Women's Bible Study

I have been looking for a Bible Study for our women's group and I finally found the one.

Praying in the Messiness of Life, by Linda Douty

The book focuses on praying, but not in the traditional sense. Linda tells us that "traditional" devotional time is not always the best way, or the only way to commune with Christ. We have to find ways to pray and be in devotion throughout the craziness of our busy lives. And when she presents the different types of prayer, it's amazing to see how we can truly "pray without ceasing" throughout our days.


I am loving this book. It is exactly what I was looking for.


I know I am not the only one who wants to have a special devotional time, and is not able to make it work the way I want to. I am tired of feeling guilty about not have a perfect schedule each day by waking up, sitting with my coffee and spending quality time with Christ. Don't get me wrong, if you do this and it works for you, FANTASTIC! It used to work for me, but I am needing something different and am looking forward to studying this book with other women.


What works best for you in the way of daily devotions?


Today I Am Thankful For:


1. 65 degrees in the mountains


2. A spotless house


3. Scented candles


4. Digital cameras


5. Unopened boxes

So Many Things

After a vacation, reality hits in a huge way. Getting back into the swing of life takes some time. Our vacation to Florida was truly one of the first times in a very long time that we were truly away from everything. No work email, no conference calls, nobody pulling my husband from one end to the other.

Now we face the many things in our lives that need attention.

The kids school
The work emails and tasks to complete
The hubs and "Lance" going to Albuquerque once a week for Boy Choir rehearsals
Writing for the newspaper (my little freelance gig)
Finding a Bible Study for the fall
Getting ready to start my Seminary classes again
Upcoming business trips
A speaking gig in October
Finding that quality time with God everyday

Why has that been so hard for me? To find my quality time with Christ? To stop and devote part of my day to the One who has blessed me beyond measure?

It's almost as if I am afraid.

Sometimes I think that I am not worthy of Christ giving me time. That I am not important enough. Sound familiar? The "unworthy" feeling?

I know Christ loves me more than I can begin to imagine. It's a love that is deep, real and passionate.

When we are blessed beyond measure and things are going well, it's easy to feel as if we don't need that time in devotion to Christ. That's when we need to be in full connection with the Creator of the Universe.

We tend to forget that at the snap of our fingers, our lives can change.

The next time my fingers snap, I want to know that my relationship with Him is in place. A relationship filled with friendship and an undying love for each other.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Frozen hamburgers to throw on the grill
2. My new Blackberry (for work)
3. Patient colleagues
4. A little less humidity
5. An early shower

Feeling Cold

No, it's not cool where I live, quite the opposite. Living in the desert with a swamp cooler during monsoon season is not enjoyable. I am pretty tired of the heat and our family is going to Florida on vacation in 12 days! I am ready for winter. I want to wear fleece and sweatpants and my fuzzy boots. It's a nice thought, but quite a ways off.

My spiritual life is what I call "cold" right now. It's kinda freakin' me out. My "Christian" has been in the hospital and I did not spend time in prayer throughout even as difficult a time as it was. Work is going very well, I am writing a monthly column for the local paper and writing some freelance pieces (and getting paid for them), we are going on a trip to Disneyworld in 12 days as part of the Make-a-Wish program….I have a lot going for me and my family, yet I have a coldness where my faith and spiritual life is concerned.

Usually someone will go about their life, all is well, and they forget to give thanks to the Creator...until something bad happens. Then all of a sudden they are on their knees pleading with the Creator to help them. I don't know why I am in this place. I know one thing for sure is that I don't like it. I know that I am in a place that can become dark and lonely.

I need to find my way back to the presence of God.

On Facebook this evening, one of my friends wrote, "I'm not perfect, but Jesus thinks I'm to die for."

Jesus revels in our presence as much as we do His. Each and every one of us.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. finished projects
2. our new dog, Betty
3. fans
4. cold showers
5. padded envelopes

Moving

I was up pretty early today for work, finished what I needed to do, and considered lying back down. But I decided to go to yoga class instead.

It was one of the best decisions I've made in quite a while.

I have to get moving. I'm tired of feeling tired and having my back tight. I also need to be a better example to my children. Already I am "feeling" my muscles from my movement this morning.

I like yoga because not only are you focusing on your body, but you work to quiet your mind as well. I find myself trying to tune out the world and when I am successful that little voice comes back in trying to make me feel guilty for taking an hour of time for myself.

Why do we do that to ourselves? If we do not take time to care for ourselves we are not good to the ones who need us. I've mentioned this scripture before and in Psalm 46:10 it reads "Be still and know that I am God." I believe that I know who God is, but it's the "being still" part that gets me every time. When I do slow down enough to veg on the sofa, I start to think about other things that need to be done and get up and start doing.

I remember hearing Maria Shiver talk about her family and how when she was a kid nobody "sat around." Everyone was outside playing games, and busy all of the time. Expectations were very high in the Kennedy home and inactivity was not accepted.

I think activity is great. It helps you find purpose, but constantly running around and not resting is not a good thing.


Sometimes we rest quite a bit, maybe even become a bit lazy, but do we rest in the stillness of God? That is something I need to work on everyday. Resting in the love of Christ. Accepting and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I am enough just as I am right now.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my new Ninja!
2. a decent pen
3. Postal Express
4. the hum of a flourescent lamp
5. hats

Three Minutes

I like to get my nails done. Solar nails, the natural look, are my favorites. The last step in the process is a clear coat of special polish then it dries under a special UV light for three minutes.

Three minutes.

Three minutes of sitting with no phone to your ear, no book in your hand...

Three minutes to let your mind wander.

I will make the time to go to the salon and get my nails done and spend three minutes at the end being absolutely still. Why can't I make that a daily priority?

Run, run, run...one thing to the next without taking a breath.

I'm tired of running!

I need some time for me everyday. My intentional journey for 2011 is not going the way I had hoped. It's time to re-evaluate. It's time to take my three minutes with God everyday. Time to refocus.

Are you with me? Let's take three minutes each day to be still, to meditate, to pray...to be grateful.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Pop Tarts
2. the sunrise out of an airplane window
3. new shoes
4. great barbeque
5. getting work done early

Intentional Prayer

My word for 2011 is …….

Intentional.

I want to live with intention. To be purposeful in all that I do.

From the way I react and act with my children and husband to the way I think of things in the past.

My friend Cynthia, a phenomenal artist, recently wrote a few of her personal goals for 2011 on her blog. I especially liked the one that reads "Become less attached to the past (honor it, remember it, but be less reactionary)."

Sometimes I catch myself getting too caught up in the past.

"Why did I say that?"

"What if I would have…..?"

I think the key is to learn from the past and to not dwell in the past.

I had a close relationship destroyed many years ago. One that I think of daily. Could things have been handled and said differently? Of course. But I know that all I can do for now is pray. Pray for resolution. Pray for the other person to understand who God truly is and have a relationship with Him. Pray for forgiveness on both ends.

I plan to be intentional in my prayers.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a great bagel sandwich
2. pancakes "to go"
3. wearing a fleece jacket everyday
4. peel off labels
5. laughter

What Do You Do?

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to tell someone how to fix their problems? You know, when it seemed so obvious to you what was wrong and how they could fix everything?

But you just can't do that. That person has to come to their own realization of the problem before they can start to make any kind of change. They have to decide what it is that makes them happy and dig deep into their souls to make it happen. It sounds so simple, but is often not that easy.

My heart is breaking for a friend of mine. I don't know what to say or do...all I can do is be there for her and have a shoulder when she needs it.

And, I can pray.

If you have a spouse who is your best friend, who helps in the raising of your children, who helps around the house and is just an overall wonderful man/woman, be sure you tell them you love him every day.

Please lift my friend "T" up in prayer. I adore her and she needs to feel the presence of God around her.

Thank you my friends.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. My seminary work
2. Piles of clean clothes
3. The zoo in Albuquerque
4. Broken computers
5. tortillas

Fried Chicken and God

My morning started in the quiet of my house while everyone was still sleeping....making fried chicken! We planned a picnic in the mountains and the guys always expect my fried chicken so there I was at 6 am, frying chicken. But something very unexpected happened while I was frying up our "mess of chicken." I had a wonderful conversation with God. I didn't have a Bible in front of me or my prayer journal, but I just let loose and started talking.

It was great! It was the best "devotional" I've had in quite some time.

I have been so wrapped up in the how's of devotional time that my relationship with God has been suffering. I've let Satan take over my thoughts when those thoughts in my head should always be directed to God.

Instead of that negative self talk that permeates my thoughts, I need to turn those thoughts, not just into positive thoughts, but into a conversation with God.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. wildflowers
2. winding roads
3. river rocks
4. deer
5. fried chicken

Time With God - part 2

Growing up a good Catholic girl was filled with rules.

Clasp your hands a certain way to pray, sit down, kneel, stand, make the sign of the cross, light a candle, pray to the saints......it was all very confusing, especially since none of it was explained in my home.

I've always felt as if you have to do things a certain way.

I like lists and rules and knowing exactly what is expected of me, but the one area in my life that is still not settled is my daily time with God.

I tried reading the One Year Bible, but then I would miss a day here and there and, well, I never picked it back up. I was too far behind and hadn't "done it right."

I started writing my prayers to God in a journal on January 1st. Some days have gone by, and I failed, yet again.

I got up early everyday to spend quiet time with God, then I started staying up later and 5:30 am would come and go.

What works best for you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. old sitcoms
2. gift cards
3. piles of folded clothes
4. frayed blankets
5. my Crocs flip flops

I Prayed

I'm ashamed to admit it, but since I've been in the hospital with Christian I've not been spending time with God.



Yes, I cried out to him when Christian was being poked while trying to place an IV, but I've not spent time with the Lord on a regular basis.



We get into our routines at home (which I can't wait to do again) and the minute we go out of town, or an emergency arises, everything changes.



The time I spend with God daily is important to me. Why don't I continue that regardless of where I am at?



I think a lot of it is that we are truly creatures of habit.



Personally, I thrive on schedules and expectations, but when that world is pulled out from under me, things get difficult.



I prayed this morning and felt peace. I know God is always there, but I want to keep that relationship strong.



Prayer is not simply requests, it's about relationship.



What's your relationship like right now?



Today I Am Thankful For:



1. cotton balls

2. conference calls

3. white boards

4. 4 glasses for a dollar

5. hospital blankets

Being Unsettled

We've been in T or C since mid August and for the the most part we are settled.

My house is unpacked, my office at church is unpacked, the kids rooms are done, so why am I so unsettled?

Before we moved, I had a great routine. I would get up early, have my quiet time, read my Bible, blog, then it would be time for everyone to get up. I would help get the kids to school, go to the office, go to the gym and back home for the evening.

My quiet time is not regular and there is no gym here so I have to really make the effort to exercise and it just hasn't happened.

With those two things missing from my life, I am unsettled, and I just don't "feel" well.

Quiet time nurtures our heart and soul. Our relationship with God strengthens.

Exercise nurtures our physical body and we just downright feel better when we take care of ourselves.

I use so many excuses to not take care of myself..."The kids....my work...the church...etc., etc." We have to put ourselves on top of our list. If we can't take care of ourselves and be happy, no one around us will be happy either.

I am making a commitment to my morning quiet time. I felt so great when it was a regular thing in my life.

I am also going to make a commitment to get some exercise. I had been feeling better than I had in years. It also helped keep my depression in check.

Here's to new commitments and "resolutions"! It doesn't have to be January 1st to start fresh!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. business cards
2. label makers
3. window paint
4. ethernet cables
5. shiny fingernails

Prayers Please

I am sitting in the hospital in Albuquerque with my little "Christian." We came in today with complications from his port-a-cath. He is having surgery tomorrow to have it removed and a new one inserted.

Please keep him in your prayers. He's had a really traumatic day.

I'll be back with an update soon.

Blessings,

My Best Friend

"Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?" Corrie ten Boom

Do you find yourself becoming complacent? You know, just going on with the routine of daily living? If things are going well do you tend to not pray, or not have your devotional time? Maybe you just put it off and will spend time with the Lord "later in the day", and you never do. Life happens and you get busy.

I think we all tend to get caught up in life.

The busyness.

The schedules.

The expectations.

The potty training.......

I challenge you, as you are being busy to remember the One who died for you. The One who knew your inmost being before you were in your mother's womb. The One who loves you regardless of the crazy mistakes you make and regardless of the less than holy thoughts that run through your mind.

Prayer is our direct line to God. It is the way we develop our relationship with Him. For so many years I thought there was a certain way I was supposed to pray.

Only kneeling.

Say the "Our Father" first.

Hands together, not folded, etc. etc.

That's sooo not it! When I realized God just wanted communication with us and I that I could talk to him like a best friend, I never looked back! If I'm driving in the car, I talk to Him as if He was sitting next to me. If I'm cooking dinner, I talk to Him. You get the picture? God is my best friend!

He knows everything about me. I can't hide anything from Him. He knows the thoughts running through my head and the desires of my heart.

I have to spend time with Him everyday. He's with me always.

Do you spend time with Him daily?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. great recovery from carpal tunnel surgery
2. legal pads
3. silly string
4. plastic eggs
5. chocolate

Faith Friday's

I pray daily for people. I have a list written on my bathroom mirror (in Expo marker) of requests that I lift up to the Lord everyday.


Days and even weeks go by sometimes before I hear of any result. I did get an email from a friend whose Dad is in remission from cancer! What a wonderful feeling to know your prayers have helped someone.

You need to have a tremendous amount of faith to continue praying with no answers. Sometimes we get answers we don't like, such as a diagnosis, a condition worsening, someone not forgiving. But faith is the cornerstone of what we believe.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

Faith is expecting God to work miracles. Pamela Reeve

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. A Woman Inspired
Conference
2. grapes
3. my wallet being found!
4. two jobs
5. 3 ring binders