Reconnecting

I am on vacation! Me the hubs and our boys came to Colorado for a week of respite. With the exception of a doctor's appointment for "Christian", we have not had plans. We have slept in, eaten very well and just been together. We are heading to Colorado Springs tomorrow and back to New Mexico on Friday.

It has been wonderful (despite the blizzard and not having our heavy coats) :)

The highlight of our trip has been the never ending game of UNO (or as Christian calls it NANO)! Seven times through the deck and I was the winner! It is these times of togetherness that money cannot buy.

We all get so busy with work and lessons and homework and ministry that our connections to our family can get broken. It is critical that we take the time to recharge and refresh our hearts and minds.

That's where I am and will be back next week with a renewed heart and mind.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. cold toes

2. diner food

3. no schedules

4. unplugging the phone

5. letting go

 

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Good Friday

We participated in an amazing Good Friday service tonight. This is an evening I look forward to every year. It's a time to stop and focus on the sacrifice that was made for all of creation. It's almost just too much to try and comprehend.

I caught myself praying, "God, I know I am not worthy enough...." and I immediately stopped myself. Who is worthy enough for the gift God gave us? The truth is, none of us are, but God knew before we were born that He would love us enough for the sacrifice He would make. God knew what He was doing. He knew that the hardest thing in the world would be to sacrifice His son, but it was done out of a love greater than we will ever understand.

My prayer for you is that you take a moment to stop and think about what we are celebrating. It's not about the Easter bunny and the egg hunts or the pastel colors and new outfits for church, it's about the One who saved us. The One who knows we fall short every single day of being great human beings. The One who will love us for all eternity.

Look at the hands of someone you love and imagine nails being driven through them. It's too much! How in the world could someone do that?

It is the greatest gift that was given to the world...to each of us.

Make the most of each day and live it to the fullest.

Remember who came for you.

Today I Am Thankful For:
1. broccoli
2. Easter pails
3. clean jammies
4. thoughtful, meaningful worship experiences
5. flip flops

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What is Waiting?

I remember when I was a young girl how I would dream of the man I would marry, the house I would live in, the names of my children and what my life would be like.
It's funny how none of what I dreamed of so long ago ever came to be...it's only better :)
I thought I had completely learned how to let go of what I "expected" to happen in my life and am coming to realize that there is a big part of me that still holds on to some things. Sometimes I feel as if I should just stop and accept my position in life... mother, wife, pastor's wife...why should I want more? Is it selfish?
I know the answer to that is no. I just start to doubt myself as I step out in faith to further my ministry and my calling.

This week I have my first meeting with the District Committee of Ordained Ministry in the United Methodist Church. This group will help me in the process of determining whether or not I am called to ordained ministry, or if my ministry as the wife of a pastor and speaker is enough for me.
I also leave for the She Speaks Intensive on Saturday. I will spend three days in intensive workshops developing my skills in message preparation. I am completely stepping out of my comfort zone with this, but know I am called to attend.

Things happen and plans change. Sometimes at the drop of a hat and other times change happens over time. Change is inevitable. It's how we respond to it that determines what our future will look like.

And we just never know what is waiting for us.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. homemade soup
2. quick trips to Wal-Mart
3. kleenex with lotion in each sheet
4. horses
5. a hug of thanks from my sick teenager

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Moving Forward

I am called to ministry. I have definitely felt God's call since my family moved to New Mexico six years ago. My biggest question is how to live out that calling. Most people would think that being the wife of a pastor would be enough...it's just not. My passion is to speak and teach and I have had some amazing opportunities in speaking to women's groups and speaking across the country to families affected by bleeding disorders. The beautiful thing is that my ministry has not been solely in the "religious" realm, but also in the corporate world of motivational speaking.

Now that we have settled in to our new lives in Rio Rancho, it is time for me to step it up. I will be attending an intensive speaker's workshop in a couple of weeks in North Carolina. The women at Proverbs 31 Ministries have developed a program for women who are Christian speakers. I attended their She Speaks conference several years ago and it was amazing. I am looking forward to the next step in this journey (and am fighting doubt about this daily).

I don't want life to pass me by by making excuses for not pursuing my passions. One big step I have taken recently is that I have started taking horseback riding lessons! I have loved horses all my life and decided it was time to make time for myself and feed my passion.

What are you doing differently this year to feed your passion?

 

Today I Am Thankful For

1. Baking cookies on a Sunday afternoon

2. Peanuts

3. The Food Network

4. Paper towels

5. The kids going back to school!

 

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Joy in 2013

I was not feeling too well and my hubby and I had a date to go see the touring production of "Rock of Ages". Honestly my heart was not in to it but off we went.

Now I love a good production, and when they come to town you never know the quality....this was FANTASTIC! The show was so much fun and all that great 80's music....it just doesn't get much better.

At the end of the show, the big final number had everyone on their feet like we were at a rock concert! It was a moment of pure Joy. Just pure (not exactly clean) fun.

You never know when those moments of absolute joy sneak into your life...grab those moments and cherish them.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Hot dates with my hubby
2. Benadryl
3. A built in babysitter (my "Lance")
4. Conference calls
5. A friend finding the love of his life

 

 

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Inhale...Exhale

 

 

I am overflowing with gratitude these days.

     Our new church is, well, to say wonderful and fantastic is an understatement.

      The first cool nip of fall is in the air.

     My last couple of things in my house are coming together after the move.

      Our Aunt Jessie is in town for a good visit (and will be watching the kids for a few days as we go on a mini-       retreat :).

     My first sermon at the church retreat this coming weekend.

     My children are doing fantastic in school, my husband is happy…..I just can't for anything more.

    And I have a boss who I can talk to and be open with.

 I could go on and on with my list, but the one thing I have found that is almost overwhelming is the love that I feel in my life.  Not just the love I give, but the love that is shown to me. 

 I am able to inhale and exhale a bit deeper these days...I can't ask for anything more.

 Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  Pinterest!
2.  The laundry is all done
3.  Anticipating time away

4.  Good health

5.  CD/DVD storage units

Rest for My Soul

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29-30 (NIV)

I just returned from San Diego.  My family attended an educational summit on hemophilia and inhibitors.  It was a great time of meeting new friends, learning about new treatments and just being able to get away and enjoy each other.  Sometimes it takes a "meeting" or special event to get our families away from the daily grind.

Work, school, cooking, cleaning, hemophilia...the list goes on.  We all have burdens to carry.  Some are heavier than others.  But the best part of burden carrying is when you are able to find rest for your soul.  Finding rest for my soul has been in not just finding God in the walls of my church on Sunday mornings, but in seeing the calm waters of the San Diego bay, watching my husband's excitement over fresh seafood, our tired feet from all of the walking, and just breathing in another, hot New Mexico day.

 Letting go and experiencing rest for my soul is a treasure.  It can come at the most unexpected times and places, we just have to acknowledge the gift so that we can continue to carry our loads.

 Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Clean sheets

2. Shuttle buses

3. Peaches and plums

4. Great pictures from a getaway

5. Lotion on tired feet

Our Motto

When your immediate family lives hundreds of miles away, you need to be prepared in the event of an emergency. I have put together a Household Binder, and it needs some major updating.  Once a year, I update our emergency contact numbers, doctor's numbers, schedules, insurance information, etc.  And when your church family is physically closest to you, you have spare keys and instructions readily available to leave to a trusted person.

On the cover of our Household Binder is our family motto.  I haven't looked at our motto in quite some time, and it has made me rethink several things.

"Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, leave the rest to God."

I think I now know what has been making me so unsettled. When you live in a rural, small town, living simply is easier to do than when you are in the big city. You aren't as close to major department stores, big grocery stores, etc. Yes,online shopping brings the best to you, but I have found it's just not the same. Now that we are living back in the big city, temptation is all around.  I can get to anything I need at a moment's notice!Yes, that is a good thing medically, but I can act on impulse and shop easily. The "Live Simply" component of our motto is at risk.

I want to seriously pay attention to the tenets of our motto:

• Live Simply: having more "stuff" is not priority (we don't need the latest video game)
• Love Generously: the core of who I want to be is a loving person and to be able to nurture the loving hearts of my children
• Care Deeply: when we care for others,God's light shines through everything we do….oozing at work
• Speak Kindly: our words are impacting...they can't be taken back.
• Leave the rest to God: this is the one that can bring you to your knees...leaving it up to God and not worrying about things that are out of your control.

Does your family have a motto?

Today I Am Thankful For:

• A fresh manicure 
• RAIN! 
• A new recipe that was successful 
• A cookie jar filled with homemade cookies 
• My new, office chair - leopard, of course :)

Mama

It's been almost 16 years since Mama passed away.  I think of her often and today I have a warmth in my heart as I think about her.

The homemade french fries she would make after school.

The $20 bill that would come in the mail when I was off at college (always right when I needed it).

The new outfit she would surprise me with when I was pregnant and growing a bit too fast :).

Cracking up in laughter with her over the silliest things.

Hearing the music to the show "Dallas" and knowing her and Daddy were glued to the television (and the O.J. trial).

And the daily phone calls, which I miss most of all.

I miss her everyday.  Lydia Campos was my mother, and I am a better person (and Mom) because of how she loved me.

Adventure!

Today I am off to Wisconsin to speak at a Couple’s Retreat.  The couples are all affected by a bleeding disorder and my mission is to bring a positive, uplifting message as a parent of children with a bleeding disorder.  This is my passion!  Preaching God’s word and speaking to people about bleeding disorders is what makes me happiestJ . 

After Wisconsin, I will meet the colleagues I work with for a team meeting in Kansas City.  It’s going to be a busy stretch until Wednesday, but I am really looking forward to these trips.

Having the opportunity to travel and work and speak with amazing people is a huge gift…one that I cherish.  The only bad part is that I will be away from my men for a bit (thank goodness for Skype).

I will be back soon and pray that each and every day brings blessings so numerous and amazing to you that it is almost too much to comprehend.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.      Travel size toiletries

2.      Boarding passes

3.      Little bags of peanuts

4.      A window seat

5.      Adventures yet to come

Suffering

Everyone suffers something.

But when children suffer, it breaks your heart. 

 When your child suffers, and you can't take the pain away, you would give your life for them. 

 I walked past a room yesterday (as I am here in the hospital with "Christian" as he recovers from a knee bleed) and the mom of a teenage boy suffering with asthma was standing outside the door sobbing.  I stopped, and put my hand on her shoulder.  She started to talk through the tears about his suffering.  I know without a doubt she would have given her life at that very moment for her son.

 A mother's love is something you just don't mess with. 

 But how do you give thanks through the suffering?

God did.  He knew what He was doing by sending Jesus to die for us.  I can't even imagine the enormity of that sacrifice.  Yes, I would give my life for my child, but giving up my child's life? 

We'll never know and completely understand that gift.  But what we do is work to live a life pleasing to God through our every move and through every word.

As Holy Week begins, I want to spend time in reflection by trying to wrap my mind around the sacrifice that was made for me.  I mean, I am a sinner beyond words, and God knew I would struggle, yet He sent His Son for me.

God loves me just the way I am...sin  and all.  Let's start each day remembering that God loves each and every one of us without doubt and beyond measure.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  iPads

2.  City lights from the hospital window

3.  The whirring of monitors in the hospital room

4.  Dry erase boards

5.  Reclining chairs

Condemnation or Restoration?

Imagine a condemned building.  Dangerous.  Unfit.  Unusable.  Have you ever felt that way? 

Condemned? 

At some point in your life, you may have been in a pit of despair.  Perhaps dealing with a deep, dark depression that smothers you.  Maybe your financial situation has been bleak at best and you felt as if there was no way out other than bankruptcy.  Why are your children struggling with so many issues….what did you do wrong?  These are a few things that can bring us to our knees.  Too many times we go to our knees and forget to look up to the One who has created us.  The One who knows everything about us from our past to our future, mistakes and all. 

If Jesus was standing in front of that condemned building, I doubt very seriously that the thought of tearing the building down would even cross his mind.  I like to believe that Jesus would be standing there with plans to "flip" that building!  Not tear down, but renovate.  Not dwell on the problem areas, but improve on what is already present.  John 3:17 tells us that not only did the Father see us with all of our baggage, but He saw what we were each meant to be.  More than what we can even sometimes see for ourselves.  He saw someone He loved so much that He would send His only Son to die an excruciating death for us.  God sent His one and only Son to heal us.  To forgive us.  And most importantly, to use us in ways we could never imagine.

^"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son."  John 3:16 - 18 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  a noisy ceiling fan
2.  mini cupcakes
3.  devout Bible Study ladies
4.  magazines
5.  ironing boards

Enough Time Off...

God was present on Sunday morning.  He woke me up.

I've not been pursuing Seminary for a while....I've just felt as if the timing was not right.  There have been so many things that have happened (especially my "Christian's" health being front and center) and I have been very relieved that school was not in the mix, but something happened at church on Sunday.

A new member, who I've really not had contact with, came up to me.  This person is in need of someone being "present" for them as they have recently had a great loss and for some reason, and he felt led to talk to me.  I was quite overwhelmed and pretty surprised. 

Is this God's way of saying that I have had enough "time off" and I need tro begin my active pursuit of Seminary again?  It has really made me think.

I assured this church member that I was not a professional counselor, just a pastor's wife who struggles with depression and has a heart for ministry.  He wants to sit and talk, so I agreed (and today I received my next lay speaker's class book "Lay Pastoral Care Giving" in the mail).

I am stepping out in faith to answer what seems to be God's calling. 

It may not sound like a big thing, but I think God moves in mysterious ways.  Sometimes it's the little things that mean the most.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1.  legal pads
2.  an extremely busy day
3.  an upcoming business trip with a dear friend
4.  a new blouse
5.  beginning a new Bible Study

For the First Time in a Long Time

This was a wonderful weekend. Breakfast on Saturday morning at our favorite little restaurant, decorating the house for the Christmas season, cooking for my family, baking cookies, and going to church for the first time in a couple of weeks (my husband even consecrated the elements so that our family could celebrate Holy Communion together after church). The bottom line is, my family was together.

It was the first time we have had a couple of "normal" days. Nothing earth shattering happened, it was low key, and absolutely wonderful.

My "Christian" is healing well. He is still having trouble with his ankle and has not returned to school quite yet, but all is looking better than a week ago :)

Now that things have settled down, the enormity of the past two weeks has begun to settle in. I was an emotional mess in church this morning. Just being in the presence of my church family, who has loved us through this difficult time, was almost too much.

I am missing my mother-in-law terribly and seeing my husband hurt brings back the pain in losing my mother so many years ago. We change because of our loss. We are never the same, but we move on and try to live our lives as a testament to what our parents taught us and wanted for us.
I think my husband and I are going to have a bit of a hard time getting into the "holiday spirit," but we are going to try our best. We have to remember that life goes on and the way we handle the difficult times in our lives is seen by our children. I want them to know that we are surrounded by love and that through everything, love endures all.
Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Fresh baked cookies
2. Reading scripture
3. Kleeex with "lotion" (much softer)
4. Prescription refills
5. Snuggling with my little one

The Greatest of These

There are several Greek words for love, as the Greek language distinguishes how the word is used. Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē. However, as with other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words. Nonetheless, the senses in which these words were generally used are given below.

• Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē[1]) means "love" (unconditional love)
• Éros (ἔρως érōs[2]) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing.
• Philia (φιλία philía[3]) means friendship or affectionate love in modern Greek
• Storge (στοργή storgē[4]) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek

In my life, I have learned that the most important thing to grasp on to and offer is love. Agape love. The kind of love that has no boundary. The kind of love that has no fee or requirement. The love our Creator has for each and every one of us, regardless of our history.

My God has been busy at work in my life and the lives of each of the members of my family this week. Through the craziness/messiness of our lives, He has been present every moment. I want to share a couple of examples with you.

As "Christian" was at the end of a bad night in the hospital, he fell back to sleep early Tuesday morning. I started to hear him mumble then in a very clear voice said, "Granny, Granny!" I believe she was with him that morning, loving him as dearly in Heaven as she did here on Earth.


My mother-in-law worked at her church as a receptionist part-time. The pastor has been amazing to our family and invited my husband in to preside over the funeral without question. He gave my husband her personal belongings from her desk and one of the items was a compact Bible with a few of her favorite passages highlighted. 1 Corinthians 13 was one of them...it was the scripture my husband based his sermon for the funeral...he did not look in her Bible until after the funeral.

Throughout this week filled with crisis for our family I have experienced love in such a way that my heart has literally hurt because it was so full. Old friends coming to the visitation/funeral to support my family, friends coming to the hospital to visit me and "Christian" as we have been separated from our family, phone calls of encouragement from far away, Facebook words of encouragement and understanding, our church family filling in where needed and helping us in every way possible. And the unbelievable generosity and love shown to me through my "work" family. I have been humbled and so filled with gratitude for everything this week that I cannot find the appropriate words to express the magnitude of how I have been deeply touched.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

Love

A Great Loss

I have been very fortunate to have a mother-in-law who loved me as her own daughter. Not only did she take me in as her own, but so did all of her brothers and sisters. I have many aunts and uncles and cousins. They aren't "my husband's family," they are mine.

Heaven has another angel. Ruby Jane Jensen went home to the Lord on Saturday, November 26th. The mother of the love of my life and grandmother to my boys is no longer with us on this Earth. She was the last parent I had here to call my own.

I am going to miss her daily morning calls to check in and have her say she loved me.

I am going to miss seeing her hug my children and love them without abandon.

I am going to miss the shopping (she taught me that a woman needs more than one purse) :)

I will miss cooking for her when she comes to my house (especially making her favorite salsa).

I will miss the annual holiday decoration from Avon she would send me (you know, the obnoxious kind that talks and sings….).

And I will miss having that person to call to give the scoop on my children and/or our latest accomplishments, escapades and the like.

Early in our relationship, Ruby and I did not get along very well. My mother would fuss at me and tell me "She is going to be around longer than me and you better be nice and get along!"

I'm so glad I took my mother's words to heart and forged a great relationship with Ruby.

I already miss her. I'm so glad I had a chance to tell her that I loved her last week.

Her love truly changed my life.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Hope

2. Purple

3. Aunts

4. Road trips

Little Hearts Know

Saturday started out as a really nice day. We slept in late, went to our favorite little Mexican restaurant for breakfast, shopped for our Thanksgiving feast and walked through the local craft show at the fair barn. We were enjoying being home.

After we returned home, I felt that "dip" when my depression wants to begin. I made myself keep "doing" and not give in to lying down and sleeping. That is dangerous for me. Around 2 o'clock, I was headed back to my room, everyone was doing something, and I just wanted to sneak away. All of a sudden my little "Christian" tugs at my shirt and says "Mommy, let's make some cookies." So we put on
our aprons and made cookies. He was precious! We had a great time.

I hung on until around dinner time and finally gave in. I took a shower early and went back to my room. But who was right on my heels? Christian. He would not leave me alone. He stayed in my room with me all evening. He brought in his toys to play, we snuggled and watched a movie. He was exceptionally loving towards me. It was a huge comfort.

You don't have to tell your children everything about how you are feeling. If things are not right, they know, they feel it.

I am so blessed to have two, amazing sons. They are compassionate, caring boys. Their hearts are amazing. God has entrusted these two souls to me and my husband to raise and love with all of our hearts. How could I ask for anything more? How can I let my depression rob me of the moments I have with my family?

I just have to rejoice through my depression. Pray through my depression and in all circumstances give thanks to God so that His will is done in my life.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Band rehearsal
2. Quiet time
3. A long, awaited doctor's appointment
4. Fun jewelry
5. My mother-in-law's continued recovery from surgery

Nudges

The past two weeks have been pretty difficult. My depression has been rearing its ugly head, and it tends to do that during the Thanksgiving season. It's one of my most favorite times of year, but also one of the hardest.

On a recent Friday evening, I was not doing very well. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and go to sleep. I told my husband how I was feeling and we piled into the car and went to Las Cruces (an hour away) to do a little shopping. I needed to get some makeup so we stopped by the day spa that carries the brand I use. Again, I was feeling beyond lousy and putting one foot in front of the other was a feat in itself. The young lady working the counter told me they were out of what I needed. She asked me to give her five minutes to try something new. I looked like a completely different person! Something as small and insignificant as the shade of my makeup changed me completely! Yes, she was doing her job, but she really did not have to go out of her way to try something new on me. She could have said they were out and to come back in a few days, but she didn't. I appreciated her going the extra mile.

I kept thinking about her act of kindness. She had no idea how deeply she touched me and that she helped me find my way out of a very, dark day.

I wrote a letter to the manager and simply told her that this lovely, young woman went out of her way to help me and it made me feel better. That young lady left me a message later in the week, filled with gratitude that I went out of my way to thank her, and she even got an early bonus :) She left me a beautiful message, wishing God's blessings on me and my family.

I was so excited that I felt God's nudge on my heart that day, even through a serious bout of depression, and responded. I felt the Holy Spirit whisper in my ear. It was huge. Yes, the Holy Spirit was made known to me through a simple change in makeup, but nonetheless was real and alive.

Have you felt that nudge on your heart? Has God been impressing on you to reach out to someone by speaking a word of kindness, send card, or simply be present?

Don't ignore that feeling. You never know when you may be on the other end of what He is planning.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Suitcase surprises
2. New jeans
3. Clean laundry
4. New, fuzzy socks
5. My mother-in-law coming through surgery

The Actor's Studio

I love watching The Actor's Studio. The auditorium where the show is filmed in New York is filled with acting students. The host, James Lipton, interviews actors and gives the audience members the opportunity to ask questions of some of their idols. At the end of the interview, Lipton asks a series of questions of the actor that are the same for everyone. One of the most interesting questions is

"If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?"

Some answers are funny and others very poignant.

What would you hope the Creator of the Universe would say to you? When we think about what our lives would amount to at the end of our time here on Earth it may actually change how we are currently living our lives. For myself, I tend to think not only of how I treat others, but mostly, how I treat myself. The things I tell myself that are not true and the verbal "beating" I take on a daily basis is not very healthy. I treat others much better than I treat myself. It is time to put myself in the same category as the people I come in contact with every day.

I came across a quote which seems to sum up how we should live. .

"Give more than is expected, love more than seems wise, serve more than seems necessary, and help more than is asked." Cory Booker, mayor of Newark, New Jersey

It sounds so simple, and I think to a point it is. We need to give of ourselves as much as we possibly can, love to the point of no return, serve our God and others with every part of our soul and go the extra mile for others, and ourselves.

“Jesus said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them." Matthew 22: 36-40 (The Message)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. The National Hemophilia Annual Meeting 2. rekindling old relationships
3. being in a new city with my family
4. having my boys meet other boys their age with hemophilia
5. factor to travel

A Clean Slate

I have a Buddha Board on my desk.


It is a small, stone surface that you paint on with water and after a short time your artwork disappears. The Buddha Board is based on the Zen concept of living in the moment. I use it to write words that have a hold over me.



Doubt, fear, "fat talk," are just a few. When I write them they are real and bold, but after time, they are gone. That is what I want, for those strongholds to go away and not be as prevalent in my life. I want to let go.



So often we think that January 1st signifies a "new year," a "clean slate." But the reality is that each day God give us, each day we wake up breathing is a new day, a clean slate. What we make of it is up to us.


I am tired of letting certain things take away my happiness and joy.

I am committing to surrendering each day to Christ. I may not succeed everyday, but as long as I have breath, I will do my best to give everything I have to Him and not let the enemy steal my joy.

"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. band rehearsal on Sunday evening's
2. salami sandwiches
3. singing psalms
4. Command strips
5. Fall arriving