Faith Friday's

I pray daily for people. I have a list written on my bathroom mirror (in Expo marker) of requests that I lift up to the Lord everyday.


Days and even weeks go by sometimes before I hear of any result. I did get an email from a friend whose Dad is in remission from cancer! What a wonderful feeling to know your prayers have helped someone.

You need to have a tremendous amount of faith to continue praying with no answers. Sometimes we get answers we don't like, such as a diagnosis, a condition worsening, someone not forgiving. But faith is the cornerstone of what we believe.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

Faith is expecting God to work miracles. Pamela Reeve

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. A Woman Inspired
Conference
2. grapes
3. my wallet being found!
4. two jobs
5. 3 ring binders

Patience

Patience. Do you have any? My Dad was the most patient man in the world. Unfortunately, I did not inherit that trait from him!

I have injured my shoulder for a second time within a few months and the process to find the problem just takes time.

You have to schedule your first appointment, then come back for an MRI (after your insurance has been confirmed) then you come back for the results, and in the meantime you go for an initial visit to the physical therapist and start physical therapy...which takes time! And to top it all off, I am having Carpal Tunnel Surgery next week, which just delays my therapy! Argh!

I just want to feel better. Surely it can't be because I am getting older...

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control." Galatians 5:22

This verse says it all about being an "oozer." I wish it was easier, you know, to let the light of Christ shine through all you do, but it's hard work. But it sure is worth it.


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. quiet
2. ice
3. meetings
4. my daily Bible reading plan
5. decluttering

Blessed...

I am in a quest to know more about the Bible. I have a daily reading plan (I'm pretty good M-F) and ask lots of questions to my seminary student husband.

My Sunday reading brought me to Matthew 5, The Beatitudes. I've read it many times before, even sung a version of it, but I never heard it like I did when I read "The Message" version. Here it is:

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'carefull,' you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate insead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

Not only that--count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for confort and they are uncomfortable." Matthew 5:3-11, The Message

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. White Sands
2. family
3. media cards
4. bike riding
5. cats & dogs

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

I live in the desert. Green lawns and trees are rare. Most of what you see in the way of landscaping is xeriscaped. I have grown to love the desert. What we don't have in traditional greenery we have in mountains, mesquite and cactus flowers.

However, I ran across a beautiful sight yesterday. Something that is not "supposed" to bloom in the desert. Something that doesn't "belong".














A breathtaking Wisteria vine.

Someone had an amazing amount of faith to plant those seeds and follow through. I saw what the result was, absolute beauty and a tremendous amount of faith.


Don't you want your faith to be like that? Unwavering, undoubting. I strive for that, fall short often, but know that God's grace is new every morning and I start all over again.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. daily Bible readings
2. scrapbooking
3. a new challenge
4. rubber bands
5. losing another pound!

A Story to Tell

Have you ever been in line at the store and just looked at the person in front of you? I mean really looked. Think about everything that has happened in your life and realize that they, too, have a story to tell.

Gospel singer, Larnelle Harris, has a great song, "A Story to Tell."

So often we get wrapped up in our daily lives and are worried about ourselves and our children, our spouses, that we forget about others. Especially when I get frustrated and the person in line needs a price check or has to put some items back, is when I need to remember, this person has a story and it is as important as mine is.

Take a moment and pray for that person in line, the person next to you at work, your child's teacher...they all have stories.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the last bit of orange juice
2. lists
3. mechanical pencils
4. a new t-shirt (Hook Em')
5. menus

I'm So Excited!

Last week I submitted a video for consideration to the "A Woman Inspired Conference" and I found out last night that it was selected!

They also offered me a 20 minute spot to share with their audience on April 8th at 8:30 am CST. I am really excited! This is truly God telling me that I am headed in the right direction.

Do you ever need those nudges and bits of confirmation? When they come through it's amazing. You truly know that when you are stepping out in faith and you get that confirmation from God, you are truly doing what He has called you to do. It's an amazing feeling.

By the way, for more information on the conference, visit http://www.awomaninspiredconference.org/. The registration fee is $12.95 through April 1st so sign up soon!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. opened doors
2. Facebook friends
3. morning quiet time
4. ice packs
5. following my heart

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

It's been a really difficult week at our church. We have had several people go into the hospital, one on life support. She was at my house for a party over the holiday's, full of life and energy, and now she is fighting for her life. I also think about the actress Natasha Richardson and her tragic death this past week. She was beautiful, young and had the world in front of her, but it was her time to go home to the Lord.

Maybe it's my age, but I think about going home to the Lord quite a bit. What are the things I haven't done yet that I need to do? Will I be prepared or will it happen suddenly? What relationships have I not yet mended...will those involved reciprocate?

I realize I have to have faith in Christ where all of this is concerned. I have to give up all my worries about death to Him, because I have faith in Him that all things happen according to His plan.

Remember fear and worry are the flip side of faith.

"According to your faith will it be done to you." Matthew 9:29

I have a tremendous faith in God. Faith that the next right thing will happen in His time.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. breakfast with friends
2. 2nd place in the essay contest (my son)
3. homecooked meals
4. toy cars
5. God's provision - all the time

Ruby

I used to have the "typical" relationship with my mother-in-law, Ruby. We couldn't be in the same room together! At that time my mother would always fuss at me and tell me, "She is going to be around longer than me so you better be nice!"

Well, my mom was right. She went home to the Lord five weeks after my oldest was born. He's now twelve. I miss her. But I heeded her advice and began to mend the relationship I had with Ruby so many years ago.

I don't know what I would do without Ruby. She is an amazing Granny to my boys (my three year old calls her "Gee") and just a great mom to me and my husband.

With my parents both being gone and my sister out of my life, she is all I have in the way of family. Her entire side of the family has taken me in, not as "Joe's wife" but as their niece, couisin, and daughter. Ruby is the oldest of nine brothers and sisters, so it is a large family. In a large family there is always "junk" but they have never allowed the "junk" to get in the way of loving each other.

I've learned alot from my extended family. They have never left me all alone. Love is the most important thing of all.

"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." Psalm 36:5

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Ruby coming in for a visit
2. worn out slippers
3. flash drives
4. courage
5. an old necklace

A Woman Inspired Online Conference

If there is an opportunity to go to a women's conference or hear a women's speaker at a local church, I am first in line. I get inspired by women. Hearing their stories, their struggles, their victories. They are just like me.

Here is an amazing opportunity for you to hear some of the top Christian Women speakers in the country for only $19.95 - $24.95 and you don't have to leave your house!

A Woman Inspired is an online audio conference that uses the internet as its venue. You may either listen to the speakers in real time or download their presentations to listen to at your leisure. The conference will be April 6th - April 9th.

Visit the home page www.awomaninspiredconference.org for more information.

Please take a moment to view my video sumbission for the conference. I may be asked to be their next speaker!

Made

There is a Contemporary Christian song that I simply love. It's "Made" by Caleb Rowden. The words are simple, yet powerful.

Take a listen. Enjoy!


Made - Live from Studio B from Caleb Rowden on Vimeo.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. My friend Jack
2. professionalism
3. my husband's critiques
4. blimps
5. plastic tubs

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

I will admit that I have been walking in a cloud of fear for several days. The fear stemmed from uncertainty about my job. It's absolutely nothing I can control. Does that sound familiar?

Have you walked in fear because you had no control over a situation?

The result is that I had three really bad days. Days I wasn't good to myself or my family. I finally got out of it by relying on my faith in God. (Something I should have been doing all along.) I was weak and the enemy knows where my weaknesses are so he goes right on in and takes advanatage. Unfortuantely, I went right along with him.

"Fear is the flip side of faith."

I have been living in fear of the unknown and you know what? It's exhausting. It also robs you of joy.

The end result, I found out great news concerning my job and was told the team I work on was safe from layoffs! Praise God!

So often we get caught up in the issues of the world. What we need to remember is that God is in control of our lives. Down to every last detail. We need to have faith in Him that everything will turn out for His glory.

When your faith starts to waver ask yourself if your relationship with God is active. Are you talking and praying to Him everyday or just when things are not going well? Move your relationship with Him to another level by keeping in constant contact with Him.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. packages in the mail
2. bookmarks
3. potty training
4. briefcases
5. laundry baskets

Noise

I thought I would get a little writing done last night but there was something just too wonderful going on around me.

It was the noise in my house.

My husband and I rushed home from a meeting a church to get dinner on the table. After dinner it seemed as if the noise in my home was at an all time high.

My oldest practicing his oboe, my husband on the phone, and my little one racing around the living room with the dogs barking and the washer and dryer were churning. It was absolutely beautiful. I stepped away from the computer and felt a warmth consume me.

How blessed am I? More than I ever dreamed. I know there are many people who would do anything in the world to have what I have. Two beautiful children, an amazing husband and two high maintenance Shelties!

So many times we get caught up in trying to do the things we are supposed to do. Keeping up with the laundry, cooking dinner, doing schoolwork, and we get overwhelmed and develop tunnel vision.

Stop and listen. Look at what you have. Aren't you fortunate to have clothes to wash? What about food to cook and schoolwork to finish? Find the blessings around you. Even in the mundane. Make everything special.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Netflix
2. barking dogs
3. peace
4. scotch tape
5. finger paintings

The Lord Provides

Do you ever think you aren't good enough? Or that you don't deserve God's best?

This past week I dealt with some issues that stemmed from my work and they sent me in a tailspin. It was not pretty. I was so upset and out of sorts that I did not take my "cocktail of meds" for my depression for several days. It's not that I didn't want to take them, it's that I felt I didn't deserve to feel good or function well. (I know, it makes no sense.)

I was so doubtful during my little meltdown. I doubted that everything would work out...most of all I doubted that God would take care of me and my family. I feel terrible about having gone there.

I am reading Praying the Names of God, by Ann Spangler, and one of my favorite names is Yahweh Yireh, The Lord Will Provide. Yahweh Yireh, is the God who sees the situation beforehand and is able to provide your needs. I find comfort in this name. The Lord Will Provide.

He has so far, and He is not going to stop now. We cannot second guess what He is up to in our lives, but how are we going to be involved in what He is doing? That is the question we should be asking ourselves.

"What is God up to and how can I be involved?"


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hiking
2. calendars
3. The Doug Hallock Band
4. highlighters
5. dust

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

Faith is...rejecting the feeling of panic when things seem out of control – His control. Pamela Reeve

I like to be in control. I'm not a big fan of surprises (the occasional one is okay). I like to know what is coming along next. When you live the life of a pastor's wife, that is not the case during this time of year.

In the Methodist Church, pastors move according to the Appointment System. This is the time of year a pastor will know if they are staying at their current church or if they will be moving at the beginning of June.

We are currently up to have a possible appointment this summer. Did you hear me say "possible?" My husband is still in school and at the point where he can get an appointment. We just don't know yet.

Also, my job has alot of uncertainty and there are so many things that have changed and I have no control over them. I can get upset and frustrated, but that is all I can do.

Where is my faith in all of this? Yesterday, it was practically nonexistent. I am praying today will be a better day and that I can see the promises God has put in front for me. I presently have a good job and need to be thankful for the freedom is allows me, and regardless of whether we move or not, we have a great place to live and my husband has a job.

Some days are easier than others to practice our faith. We need to strive and practice it all of the time. Surrender to Him each and every day. He hasn't let us down yet, so why would He start now?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. wet hair
2. cold mornings
3. spreadsheets
4. support groups
5. yellow buses

What to Do Next

Have you ever gone in a direction (answered God's call to do something) and wondered if you did the right thing? I have answered God's call in my speaking ministry, but things are not moving ahead. Have I done the right thing? What is next?

There is something very important I need to remember:

"It's not what God wants me to do, but what is God up to and how can I be involved?"

It' also about timing. My time and God's are not the same. Just because I want something to move forward and I think I'm ready for the next step doesn't mean God agrees. I have to slow down and listen to Him.

I think I move too fast sometimes. Maybe God wants me to slow it down and reflect on what is happening in my life.

I want to be involved in what God is doing in my life, I just need to slow down and listen.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. emory boards
2. smelly dogs
3. stuffed animals
4. index cards
5. new books

Always Searching

I ran across some old notebooks, you know the kind where you write a few notes from sermons or retreats and you never use the notebook again? I have stacks of them! I decided to tear out those few pages that were here and there and put them in one place. I mean if I wrote it down it must have meant something important to me.

I found a gem.

"God created us with a spirit jump started to find Him. We are not born saved. We are always searching."

I am always searching and it's evident by my office. I have tons of empty notebooks (with the intention of journaling), bible studies (I've yet to do, but will get to), several Bibles, books of prayer, books on encouragement, blogs I've marked as faves on my laptop, the list goes on.

I am on a search. To be in His presence. I do have a relationship with God. A deep one. But I am always looking for ways to strengthen my relationship with Him. I think that is a good thing. When we become complacent in our search, we tend to forget about God until we need to lean on Him in tough times. I definitely don't want to slip into that routine.

Yes, God is there we times are tough, but God is with us always. He delights in our relationship and looks forward to meeting with us everyday.

Have you sat and had your coffee with God this morning? Maybe the two of you visit while you are driving to work, while you are putting on your makeup, or you talk with Him before your feet even touch the ground in the morning. Whenever works best, make sure you make time for Him today and everyday.

Today I Am Thanful For:

1. pretty, spiral notebooks
2. a de cluttered office
3. funky Sketchers
4. old pictures
5. floppy disks

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

Faith is recognizing that God is the LORD of TIME when my idea of timing doesn’t agree with His. Pamela Reeve

Have you ever been there? Waiting and wondering why things aren't moving along the way you think they should? You've done the studying, the homework, the legwork, and you are expecting the next step. So, why isn't anything happening?

Our idea of time and God's may not exactly be the same.

Isn't that frustrating? When we think we have answered a call in our lives and are simply doing what seems to be the right thing, then we get stuck. No matter what we do to try and move forward, we stay stuck.

It's God's way of saying "Not yet. Be patient." I don't know about you, but patient has never been used to describe me! But we often have to take a deep breath, sit back, and continue to pray for God's will to be done.

"God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect." Hebrews 11:40

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my Parallel Bible
2. iTunes
3. incense
4. smelling Spring
5. my vaccum cleaner back from the shop

Letting Go

Raising children is a joy. But at times, when they hit those "tween" years, you want to trade them in!

The age we live in is so different than when we were kids. I remember going off all day long on my bike with my friends and calling that an awesome Saturday. Nowadays it's all about the video games and the computer. My oldest is not a big athlete so getting him interested in other things is hard to do.

Even work ethic is not the same. With our "push button" generation, kids expect things to happen with the click of a mouse. Not when practicing an instrument! Hard work is the only thing that will make you successful in the musical arena. My oldest has been learning that lesson the hard way. I admit that I get very frustrated with him. I expect him to be as good at something as I was when I was growing up, and that's just not fair. He is his own person. I have to let that go.

At 12 years old I am already seeing that I have to let go of my little boy. Before I know it he will be going off to college.

I have to let go a little bit everyday and just pray that I am steering him in the right direction. It's like that with God. He has let us go and is praying that through our free will we are making good choices. I pray daily that I am for my son and myself.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the quiet before everyone wakes up
2. the Lenten season
3. nail polish
4. puzzles
5. magazines

Loneliness

I have discovered something as a ministry wife. Life can get lonely. "How can you be lonely with two active sons?", you ask? It makes no sense. But I am getting there.

We all long for relationships. For deep, meaningful relationships. I have one friend who I have that with here, she is in ministry as well, but she also has children, and responsibilities at home and at church.

I long for fellowship among women my age and I thought there was a glimmer of hope with a new Sunday School. But, after class yesterday, it sounds like it may be a bit too "fundamentalist" in thought. (Someone made the comment that part of The Shack was heresy and others were in agreement...that's when I knew I was in trouble).

Sometimes I wonder if my beliefs and thinking are not lined up with a specific denomination of church. That I tend to think too broadly. But that may also be because I still consider myself new in study. I am trying to find my way.

I know one relationship that I have that is deep and meaningful and that is my relationship with God. I can tell Him anything. He knows how I feel before I do. He knows the innermost workings of my heart. I rely on Him daily. Before my feet even hit the ground I speak to Him.

Do you know Him?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my snoring dog
2. black clothes
3. pictures
4. lessons learned the hard way
5. my friend Beth

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

I've decided to dedicate Friday's to posting about Faith. My faith wavers from time to time, especially when I start to doubt myself and when I get anxious and worry about things out of my control. So, here's to faith!

Faith is rejecting the feeling of panic when things seem out of control – His control. Pamela Reeve

This has been a struggle for me lately. Worry that leads to panic. Now what good is that going to do? Will it solve my problems? Will it make me feel better? Will it bring glory to God?

I am only human and I tend to react before I think about God sometimes. How do I honor Him in these situations? I need to put Him first, pray and know that He has a perfect plan for me.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

Throughout my life I have seen doors open and shut (sometimes slam) in my face and yet God always opens another one for me. It's usually a big window. A window leading to brand new opportunities

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. writing
2. friendships
3. de cluttering
4. possibilities
5. trying something new

A Relaxing Day

I took a day off and stayed home with my men. We slept in, the boys made pancakes and we went on a hike at Rockhound State Park. I played on Facebook way too much and am finishing dinner. It's been such a relaxing day.

I think we don't do that often enough. You know, throw up the white flag and just surrender.

In order to live a complete life in Christ we have to surrender to Him everyday. I try to start my day, before my feet even hit the ground, by surrendering to God. I pray that all I do is for His glory. I fall short of the mark often, but when I do give everything up to Him, my days are better.

I am struggling with worry. It can be crippling when the Enemy sneaks in and grabs you where you are most vulnerable.

God has not left me hanging out to dry yet. I have to keep telling myself and beleiving and praying that His will be done.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a recipe by Emeril
2. apple pie
3. the outdoors
4. Bear in the Big Blue House
5. snuggling

Boots

When I was about three years old, I had a pair of cowboy boots. They were black with red and white stitching and I wore them everywhere. With jeans, with shorts, it just did not matter, as long as I had my boots. I still have them. The front tips are pointed upward, from when I would sit on my knees to watch television.

They are sitting in the front living room by the fireplace and the other night my little three year old found them. Right now he's all about stick horses and cowboys (like his mom was) and he wanted to put them on. They fit perfectly. It's his big treat every so often to put on my little boots. He looks just precious in them.

It's funny how God works. When my parents bought me those boots they had no idea their grandson would find joy in them. (And also that I would find joy in seeing him in those boots.) It flooded my heart with memories of my Dad who nurtured my love of horses. I miss him desperately.

The little things in life are so important. We pass by them everyday without a thought, until something special happens and we see the enormity of what those little things mean.

God has created this world for us to enjoy and to love. Look around today and find joy in the little things.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the opportunity to speak
2. a boss who fights for her team
3. plants
4. stick horses
5. boots

All I Can Say....

All I can say today is given in scripture.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:34 The Message


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my job
2. different versions of the Bible
3. grape juice
4. quiet time on a Sunday afternoon
5. compassion

Be Still Sunday

I've Been Accepted!

Well, I received some great news today. I've been accepted to Asbury Seminary's Masters Program! I will be starting my Master's in Christian Ministries, with the possible end result of becoming a Deacon in the Methodist Church.

Classes start next week and I may just make registration and be able to get started.

I looked at the syllabus today and got a little overwhelmed. I mean, I haven't been to school since 1990 and it certainly wasn't online. I know it's Satan working on me. He's good at spreading doubt.

I've always wanted to get a Master's degree, but I never felt led in any certain area. I have a BME and I really didn't have a desire to get another music degree. I contemplated an MBA, but my heart wasn't in it.

I know this is the route I want to go. Even if I decide to not pursue becoming a Deacon, I want the degree. I want to study and dive into the Word. I know there are other ways to dive into the word, but I truly feel God leading me down this path.

The older I get, the more in tune I am with the Lord. I am so thankful. I hope my eyes and ears stay opened to where He is leading me.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. exercise
2. teachers
3. news via email
4. the blue, New Mexico sky
5. checkmarks on my list

Be Still Sunday

Idea on Prayer

Well, my life has been crazy since my son's appendectomy. It looks like he will be going back to school tomorrow! Oh, to be back on schedule....

My son was so covered in prayer throughout his illness that it just emphasized to me the power of prayer. When you receive it and feel it, it is amazing.

I am trying something new, since my quiet time has been almost non existent for the past week. I am writing my prayer requests on my bathroom mirror with an Expo marker. It's really working out great! I pray in the morning and in the evening. It feels so good to actually follow through with your prayers for others. You know what I mean? It's so easy to say, "I'll pray for you." But following through is another story sometimes.

Prayer is a powerful thing.

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Great results on medical tests
2. New Mexico sunshine
3. webcams
4. tea
5. anything leopard

100th Post!

I actually made it to my 100th post! Do I have anything awe inspiring to share today? Unfortuately not, but I do have a reminder to myself.

I am human.

I get scared.

I get stressed out.

I get angry.

God uses me regardless.

My oldest had surgery last Thursday and is now home and doing very well. (When you have a bleeding disorder, surgery can be even more stressful than usual.)

The funny thing is that everything came to a head yesterday. I felt all the stress, the anger and the exhaustion of staying in the hospital for 4 days straight. I was in the worst mood ever! At least I could see it and admitted it, but I hated how I felt.

I started questioning everything in my life. "How could God call me to be a Christian speaker? How can I lead a womens ministry at my church? I am being such a lousy mom because I am so short tempered...a "good, Christian woman" would never be this way..............." I know, I know. It's Satan taking advantage of me.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
1 Peter 5:6-7

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. getting things done
2. copy machines
3. prayer warriors
4. my own pillow
5. my "laundress" aka mother in law!

Be Still Sunday

God is Good

God is good, all the tiime! Surgery went great and my son is doing very well. It was a long, exhausting, stressful day, but in the end everything turned out even better than expected.

As we were waiting to go down to the operating room the phone rang. It was our hematologist. He called to say "Good morning" and and that he "prayed for my son earlier that morning." How amazing is that? That is the sign I needed to know we were definitely in the right place.

I truly believe God leads us in the right direction, we just have to be open and listen to Him with our hearts. Sometimes listening to God is really hard and we try to make our circumstances "fit" into what we think is perfect. That's usually a BIG mistake.

Thank you for your prayers. God is so good.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. nurses
2. doctors
3. apple juice
4. new pillows
5. the love I have for my sons

Prayer Please

Please lift up my oldest son in prayer. We are in Albuquerque in the hospital and he will have surgery tomorrow at 8:30 am to remove his appendix.

Please pray for a speedy recovery and that his bleeding is kept under control. Also, please pray for the doctors and all involved in his care.

I'll be back with an update Thursday.

Thank you, so much!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. sugar cookies
2. colleagues who speak the "corporate" language
3. wonderful nurses
4. my son's heart and humor
5. flat screen tv's

Humbling Work

I worked a Chrysalis event this past weekend. I was a member of the "support team." It was held at Sacramento Methodist Assembly and it is a little piece of heaven on earth. Located in the mountains of Sacramento, New Mexico, I would guess you could see every possible star in existence at night. It is breathtaking.

Our team was responsible for setting up for each event, organizing and distributing material, moving boxes, keeping the food tables set up and praying for the various speakers throughout the weekend (that was my favorite task).

When you are up several thousand feet in altitude, walking hills and climbing stairs, you tend to get tired. It was hard work. I worked with a great team of people, but in the beginning there was one person who was definitely not there to serve the Lord. He made me truly put myself in perspective and reevaluate my reasons for working. I didn't want to be selfish like he was and work with an angry heart. (He did get better by the last day :)

I've never worked in that capacity. There were times I didn't think I would make it through the weekend. There is one scripture that summed up my experience this weekend.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24.

Many lives were touched throughout the weekend and something as simple as keeping water in the ice chest made a difference and glorified God.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. sleeping in my own bed
2. the Inaguaration
3. camp food
4. being surprised
5. shooting stars

For Everyday

I recently came across this and hope that I can keep this in the front of my mind and heart daily.


"I will waste not even a precious second today in anger or hate or jealousy or selfishness. I know that the seeds I sow I will harvest, because every action, good or bad, is always followed by an equal reaction. I will plant only good seeds this day." Og Mandino

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hot tea
2. a new blouse
3. the smell of firewood burning
4. an unexpected visit
5. meeting a deadline

No Words

I got up this morning and went through my usual routine. When I let the dogs out, I sit for a few minutes outside (bundled up) and pray. I have so many thoughts going on in my mind and heart that I just knew I would be able to pray with ease.

Not a word came to my mind.

I didn't know what to say to God. Have you been there? Finally, I came up with, "Lord, be with me."

The wonderful thing is that even when we don't know our hearts desire, He does.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. orange juice
2. my mother-in-law
3. warm, fuzzy socks
4. great music
5. a long, overdue visit with a friend

I Just Want to Get Home!

I am supposed to be home. Our quick surprise visit to my mother-in-law in Houston turned out to be a few days longer. My oldest had an appendicitis attack. The doctors kept going back and forth as to whether or not to operate (due to his hemophilia we think they were not wanting to perform surgery), and finally we decided it was not going to happen.

He is doing great, with no pain and we are meeting with our hematologist and surgeon in Albuquerque in the next few weeks.

It's scary being away from home and needing medical attention. (Even when you are in one of the biggest cities in the country.)

Never let a doctor run over you and take your voice away. Stand up for your rights as a patient/parent. Doctors do not know everything. Sometimes they need to be questioned, not just in their diagnosis, but in the way they treat people.

It was a rough situation, but I thank God that my son is doing well.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my son's health
2. speaking up (not just for myself, but for others)
3. family
4. the New Year
5. nurses

Be Still Sunday

Happy New Year!

Blessings to you for a wonderful 2009! I'll be on vacation this week and will see you next week.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Vacation
2. a roaring fire
3. phone calls from old friends
4. my husband preaching
5. cold toes

Be Still Sunday

Joy

Christmas Eve. I think I enjoy Christmas Eve even more than Christmas Day. Going to church together, singing carols, celebrating the birth of Christ.

Putting the kids to bed and staying up to the wee hours with my husband wrapping presents in front of the fire discussing "life's issues", with a good cup of hot chocolate. I love these moments.

I am filled with an enormous amount of joy this season. My family is happy and healthy, we have our basic needs met and have love. I don't know what could be any better.

God gives us joy because that gives Him joy.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. God's voice
2. wind
3. time off
4. warm boots
5. road trips

Hope

This time of year is about the holiday season. Presents, traditions, family, and most importantly, the birth of Christ. We get so wrapped up in the holiday happenings around us that we may forget that others may not be in the "holiday spirit."

I know a person at our church whose mother passed away Saturday. Another lady just received a devastating diagnosis of cancer with "three months" to live. How do you embrace the holiday's when these situations are around?

I believe it's about hope. Not the kind of hope that a child has when thinking about presents, but the hope we have in Christmas. It is something that we know with certainty will happen. The birth of Christ. God promised the Jewish people that the Messiah was coming. They relied on this when they became slaves to Pharoah. The birth of Christ is the fulfillment of God's promise to send the Messiah.

Even now, when we are in times of despair, financial ruin, dissolution of family, God is there. We have hope in Him and he never fails us.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. crunchy granola
2. wrapping presents
3. Christmas caroling
4. my boys being home for the holiday's
5. hope

Be Still Sunday

Sixteen Years Ago...

Sixteen years ago, my husband and I were married. It's been an amazing blessing. I love him more now than I ever dreamed I would be capable of loving someone. There is a verse that is so appropriate for us today:

"The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3

Did we go out for a fancy evening tonight? We all watched Polar Express, ate leftovers, and the highlight of the evening was that our two year old "pee peed in the potty!" I never dreamed that on our sixteenth year of marriage I would be blessed with a two year old and a twelve year old!

God is good, all the time.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the potty!
2. choclate chip cookies
3. leftovers
4. chapped lips
5. the love of my "men"

Attitude

I help lead a weekly depression support group at my church. Today we were so blessed that God has touched one of our members. She finally spoke!!!! Bless her heart, she is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with her depression and is feeling alot better. She shared a great piece by Charles Swindoll and I wanted to pass it along. Enjoy!

Attitude
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10%what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes."
Charles Swindoll

Today I Am Thanful For:

1. my depression support group
2. homemade pizza
3. vacation time
4. wonderful co-workers
5. the love of my husband

Simplicity

I needed a change of scenery, so I am working from Barnes and Noble for a few hours. It’s interesting. Watching people come and go. Hearing bits and pieces of conversations as you sit and work. I was struck by one conversation in particular.
A young woman in her early twenties came in with her friend. They were chatting about this and that and then they started talking about Christmas shopping. “…he bought her a Coach purse…we got him a Touch iPod….” The conversation continued on and many name brands and expensive items were brought up.

I, too, have been in the midst of my shopping, mainly online, and have gotten caught up in, “is it enough?”

The best present we can give others, and most especially give Christ, is our “presence” this holiday season. It’s all about relationships and love. Spending time with the ones we love. Simplicity. Preparing a wonderful meal, baking those special cookies and pies you never have time to make, being with each other.

What about playing games? My oldest son loves board games, but we never seem to take the time to play. I bought a great puzzle for our family. In the early days of my marriage, we would always have a puzzle out on the table and would work on it whenever we had a few minutes. I want to get back to those simple things.

Have you kept the “Reason for the Season” alive in your preparations for the holiday?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. A change of scenery
2. Ornaments
3. Poinsettias
4. the smell of fresh, brewed coffee
5. old, warm, worn shirts

Be Still Sunday

Room

It's already happening. I am getting so busy with the season that I am not leaving room for the important things. Room for my quiet time with Jesus, room for hearing my own thoughts, room for remembering what Christmas is all about.

There wasn't room for Mary and Joseph that night in Bethlehem. And here I am again, getting wrapped up in the season with no room for what is important, Jesus.

What do you do to keep the importance of Christ alive at Christmas? It is such a struggle when you have young children, because of the commercialism of it all. Santa, Rudolf, presents...(my oldest used to think Rudolf brought the presents).

During this time of Advent, I want to make it a priority to sit and talk with my children every night about Christ. A devotional, a story, what is important in their day and how Christ reflected through them (at least my oldest).

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Lavendar
2. conference calls
3. lighted snowmen
4. working an upcoming Walk to Emmaus
5. Mary

The Small Stuff

I recently hurt my shoulder during my workouts at the gym. I am going to physical therapy for a few weeks to see if I can get my shoulder to heal without needing any kind of cortisone shots.

On my first visit, I was apprehensive. Working with big rubber bands, doing easy exercises for my shoulder. I mean, was it going to work? The last thing they did was an ultrasound of heat on my shoulder. I couldn't feel the heat, so I figured it was a waste of time.

Boy was I wrong! It's crazy, but those small exercises are working. And the best part of the session is the ultrasound. When it is finished, my shoulder feels great!

So often we think bigger is better. The harder the exercise, the more you sweat, the better the results. The bigger the present, the more money you have, more things, etc.

This time of year we can easily get bombarded with the thoughts of "more is better" instead of focusing on "the reason for the season."

It's the little things that count. Saying hello to a stranger, holding a door open for someone with their arms full, being a good listener. These are important things that may touch a person who is having an otherwise bad day.

God wants us to keep the Holy Spirit alive in all that we do. That's what "oozing" is all about. Keep God alive in the small stuff at Christmas.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. physical therapy
2. Winter finally arriving!
3. lights on the tree
4. new opportunities
5. prayer

Complete Surrender

I had a root canal done today. I wanted to ask my new dentist if he'd graduated high school. Do doctors just keep getting younger, or am I truly getting older?

I would rather go to the gynecologist than the dentist. I've just always had a fear of the dentist. As I was sitting in the dentist chair this morning, trying to keep my cool, I realized I was putting myself completely in his care. My mouth was wide open with a rubber protector over my mouth (that was a new one for me) and I had absolutely no control.

Sure, I could get up and leave at a moments notice, but with a gaping hole in my mouth!

For those moments today I was in complete surrender to Dr. W. It was a surreal feeling. Do I feel that way everyday when I surrender myself to God?

I start my day, lying in bed and asking God for the strength to completely surrender everything I do to Him. That all I do oozes with the light of Christ. Unfortunately, I often fall short of the mark.

All I can do is continue to put God first in all that I do. He loves me even if I fall short.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a party in my home tonight
2. decorating for the holiday
3. candles
4. little tennis shoes thumping in the dryer
5. hot chocolate

Be Still Sunday

The Truth

I was at a business dinner tonight. The usual happened. Schmoozing, eating, eating, schmoozing. It is nice to see my colleagues. We get together quarterly as we are spread out around the country. So it was good.

One of my colleagues started talking about his mother who passed away many years ago. He was working in hopsice during her illness and was telling me about how his experience in hospice work helped him and his family through the death of his mother.

Okay, so what's the big deal? Makes sense...

He kept on about how all the "right things" seemed "to happen". Everything "fell into place" the way it was supposed to. I wanted to stand on the table and yell "IT WAS GOD'S HAND, NOT COINCIDENCE!"

But, I couldn't. I was in a work environment and didn't know if he was a Christian.

I hate that. There are times I feel like I can't talk about God and want to shout from the rooftops about who He is.

As soon as that conversation was over, my other colleague next to me started talking about his days in seminary. :)

This is a perfect example of a situation in where we need to "ooze" Christ. Even if we can't talk about God, we can be His example in all that we do.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a great business to work for
2. wonderful food
3. friends
4. a good book
5. fresh lemonade

Remember when...

Remember when you would wait all year long for "Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer" and "A Charlie Brown Christmas" to come on network television? You waited for the one showing for the entire year. There weren't DVD's and VHS tapes to pop in and watch your favoite Christmas shows over and over.

I told my twelve year old this as we watched "The Grinch" last night and he was mortified. The age we live in. It's crazy. In our household we have a main computer and three laptops, three iPods, two televisions, three cell phones.....and we are by no means "wealthy".

Our society is so fast. It emphasizes material possessions. It scares me.

I've never been a "Material Girl", and I just pray that what we feel is important in our lives is seen by our sons. Family, friends, love, and most importantly Christ.

My prayer is that we all "Keep the Christ in Christmas" this season and not let the material world get the best of us.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my wireless mouse
2. Christmas trees
3. seeing snow on my trip
4. highs in the 30's
5. packing light

Being Busy

I love being productive. I love when my day goes by and I have a feeling of great accomplishment. There's nothing I hate worse than wasting my time.

Don't get me wrong, I love my downtime, vegging out in front of the television, and reading a good book, but I do love good work.

I am preparing for a quarterly meeting with my work and will be traveling to Kansas City. I'm in charge of team building and a few other items, so I am busy getting everything together.

One thing I'll be talking about with our team is change. Scary word, isn't it? Working on this presentation has me revisiting the enormous change I've encountered in my life over the past three years. Moving from the only city I've ever lived to going out of state, following my husband in ministry, my father passing away. The list goes on.

It's amazing how God's hand has been on me and my family. I am just completely overwhelmed when I think about how He has taken care of us and led us.

Remember, God loves you like no one else ever could. He is with you always.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a phone call from a friend
2. soup
3. Christmas music
4. good work
5. a wonderful boss

Be Still Sunday

The Day After

We had a wonderful, quiet Thanksgiving. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law came in to spend a few days with us. My turkey was moist, everything else was fabulous and I didn't have to clean the kitchen, and I took a very, long nap. What more could I ask for?

With such a wonderful day, how could I feel so lonely? My dad went home to the Lord just over a year ago, and my mom went twelve years ago. My only sibling and I have been estranged for seven years despite my attempts at reconciliation. It has to be in God's time, not mine. It still hurts.

"El Roi", the God who sees me, knows my heart. He knows the deepest desires of our hearts and he knows the pain and longing that we endure. Regardless, He is there for us.

I am so thankful for my family. The love I am surrounded by with my husband and boys, my friends, and my church family. God has me on this journey for a reason.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. leftovers
2. going to the gym (after a two week hiatus)
3. family
4. shopping
5. books

Giving Thanks

"Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Isn't that hard? To be joyful always...what about when you have children that are in the teen years? Pray continually...I have trouble dedicating myself to regular quiet time, how can I pray continualy? Give thanks in all circumstances...what if you and a close loved no longer speak to each other?

No matter how angry or frustrated your "teen" makes you, be joyful that you have a child when so many do not.

Prayer is not just sitting in a quiet place and talking to God. You can pray in the car, while washing dishes, watching television...it's about conversation.

How can I give thanks when I am estranged from someone I love? I love that person with my whole heart and pray for them regularly, but when I look back at the different events that have unfolded as a result of the dissolution of that relationship, I have seen God work in my life. I wouldn't be where I am today, physically, geographically or spiritually if I was still in that relationship.

God is good. All the time.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. family coming to town
2. orange juice
3. warm socks
4. Santa Fe
5. turkey to cook

A Prayer to Share

My husband showed me a great prayer this morning. It really touched me and I want to share it with you.

Thomas Merton's Prayer of Abandonment

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.

And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

When doubt creeps in I am going to turn to this prayer.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. homemade rolls
2. my little one's new daycare
3. freshly groomed dogs
4. my warm jacket
5. my loving husband

Be Still Sunday

Words

I was at lunch the other day with a couple of friends. We were having a nice time, enjoying good food and good company when things started to turn. One of them mentioned a person we know and the two of them went off into "Judgement Land".

Yes, part of me wanted to chime in but I simply continued to eat my lunch and prayed to God, "I don't want to be part of this gossip, Father, help me have the strength to stay quiet." And I did. Somehow or another the topic changed and lunch began to be enjoyable again. I actually "oozed" the light of Christ without even saying a word! When I think back, I wish I would have stopped the conversation, made it a point to let my friends know what they were doing, and have moved on. I'll pray to get the strength to do that when the time presents itself.

I think back on so many times in my life when I've chimed right in with the other gossip mongers. I hate that. I hate that I have often let my words bring down another, even if it was without their knowing. God knew. I knew.

I love the Christian Band Building 429. I especially like where their band name derived from.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29 – NIV

Isn't that something we need to remind ourselves of everyday? And what about our children? I cringe when I think about how I often talk to my "tween" son. It's not just what we say, but how we say it that can affect a person.

We need to build each other up. Think about your words. Choose them carefully.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. our pediatrician
2. the courage to get to the dentist
3. a sunny, cold, day
4. getting the house ready for family
5. peanut butter

Catching Up

I traveled to a conference this past weekend, and I still can't get caught up. It feels as if I have been away for months! My house is a wreck (I have a painter working for a couple of days), clothes to wash, work and email I am still trying to get through and I have not made it back to the gym since last Wednesday.

To top it off, my hubby is still in Denver finishing his final exams and will be home around lunchtime today! No school for him until January! Woo Hoo!

I tend to keep forgetting that family is coming to town next week for Thanksgiving. (Is that really next week)?

The area I have been trying to get back into routine with is in my quiet time with the Lord. Once you get out of routine with just about anything, it takes quite a bit to get back with it.

For all the craziness that is in my life, I am thankful to have craziness to look forward to everyday.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my hubby coming home
2. the smell of fresh paint
3. long sleeved t-shirts
4. stick horses
5. craziness

Can you believe???

Can you even believe that Christmas commercials are already airing on television? (You know, the commercial with the Hershey Kisses playing We Wish You A Merry Christmas)? Walmart has their trees up, pre-packaged candies, sets of coffee and tea are already lining up the aisles.

Thanksgiving has not arrived.

This is the one thing that makes me crazy about the holiday's. The rush, the commercialism. Blow up Santa's in the front yard, lights hanging outside like the Griswold's. It makes me sad.

How do you keep Jesus as the Reason for the Season with your children? I mean, the world does a pretty good job at pushing it's commercialzied agenda. It just hurts my heart.

I think it hinges on our daily quiet time with the Lord. Today, I've not had my time, but I am going to be sure that before I go to bed, that I spend time with Him. We have to set examples for our children. They need to know what is important and what takes first place in our lives.

I pray that "The Reason for the Season" is evident in our lives, not just over the next several weeks, but everyday of our lives.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. being able to hire a painter to paint a few rooms in my house!
2. leftover chicken
3. moccasins
4. seeing the first snow in Denver
5. a dirty house to clean

Be Still Sunday

A Wonderful Book

I have just finished reading a fantastic book, The Shack, by William P. Young. It's the story of a man, Mack, who endures a tragedy and God appears to him in different human forms representing God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

At the retreat I was recently at, I heard some ladies discussing the book as being too new age. They were a little offended at representations of Christ made by Mr. Young.

I didn't see it that way at all. Actually, it helped me to visualize the different forms God takes in our lives. It changed my perspective and really made me think. I mean we don't know what God physically looks like. We have preconceived notions from our Sunday School teachings, books, parents, etc. on what God may or may not look like.

The bottom line is that I know He lives in my heart. I am glad Mr. Young painted this interesting picture of the Trinity for our day and age. The Father wants us to know him deeply, intimately and if developing a picture in our mind helps to further that relationship, I am all for it.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the cold weather
2. hotel rooms
3. seeing my colleagues from across the country
4. safe travels
5. my husband loving seminary

The Jones'

In our society it is so hard to not focus on what everyone else has or what everyone else is doing. Being the wife of a minister, I find that I question myself quite a bit. "What if I don't......, What if I decide to not complete this study....., What if, What if."

"Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who is going to betray you?") When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?" Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me." John 21:20-21

Perhaps a bible study we are participating in is not where we need to be. Doubt can cloud our mind as to whether or not we are worthy enough or smart enough to be there, but actually, it may not be God's time for us to hear that message.

How do we discern where we need to be? Do we rely on what our neighbor is doing? Do we rely on what the church is "expecting" of us? No. Absolutely not. We must rely on God speaking to us. We need to continue to practice being still to hear His word.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Gabe, my personal trainer, aka the "Workout Nazi"
2. Albondigas (meatball soup)
3. preparing for our annual trip to the NHF meeting
4. plants
5. my husband, pushing me through my low points

Time Away

I was so blessed to be part of the Celebration Womens Prayer Retreat this past weekend. It was held in the Texas Hill Country in Brenham (home of Blue Bell) and the weather was perfect.

It was a time for renewal. A time for being still and focusing on what God wants to do in me. I did struggle at first because I didn't really know anyone but one person very well, but the Lord worked in me and I was there for a few reasons.

I had the chance to minister to two different ladies and I am so glad that God gave me the words to speak to them.

I also had time to be alone. Truly alone with Him. We spent an hour and a half in silence to journal, pray, do what we needed to do. What a blessing that was! I don't know the last time I had that kind of silence! I spent my time in a grove of trees, with the wind gently blowing surrounded by yellow butterfiles. Yes, it was as wonderful as you would imagine.

I also had my beliefs tested. Part of the teaching over the weekend was on Healing Prayer. The presenter was a Methodist deacon who runs a retreat center that focuses its healing through Theophostic Prayer. I'm just not too sure about all of that. I know we are the hands and feet of Christ, but she led us to think that by putting our hands on others who need healing and praying for them, that healing will come.

Yes, I know the Lord works in amazing ways and mircales happen. Cancer is suddenly out of a persons body, arthritis is gone completely, a shoulder beyond repair is healed. But what about someone with a bleeding disorder, or Cerebal Palsy? If I put my hands on them and pray for healing and they are not healed, what does that mean?

At first I thought that maybe my faith was not strong enough to be part of this type of praying, but I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior, so nothing is wrong with my faith!

I believe there are many ways to pray and not one of them is wrong. It's ultimately about your relationship with Christ. I pray that each of you develop and strengthen the bond you have with Him through prayer.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. orange juice
2. a good night's sleep
3. uneventful travel
4. homemade popcorn
5. sweat pants

Be Still Sunday

Being Still

I struggle with being still. As the mom of two children (throw in their bleeding diorder of daily infusions), the wife of a minister and full time working woman, and starting to launch my speaking ministry, I guess there is a reason I have trouble being still.

"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

I have had a great week in getting up earlier than usual and spending time with the Lord (and even folding a load of clothes)! I am excited about my new method of Bible Study, the Inductive Study, and I am super excited about going to a Prayer Retreat this weekend sponsored by Celebration Ministries.

I am at a point in my life where I am hungering to be closer to God. I want everything I do to be for God's glory. I want His calling on my life to speak His word to be deep and intimate. I want to do His work for all the right reasons....for His glorification.

I am excited about being in the midst of women this weekend with the same intentions...to learn more about prayer...to be in relationship with Him.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a new winter jacket on my little one
2. hot chocolate
3. the first really cold blast of the season
4. the resources to get on a plane to make the trip to my retreat
5. my sisters in Christ

Overwhelming Kindness

Have you ever been overwhelmed by the kindness of a friend, or even a stranger? I am in the process of developing my speaking ministry (website, marketing materials, etc.) and a dear friend of mine has been helping me. She is an amazing graphic artist and all around creative gal.

Last night she emailed me to preview my website and told me that she believed in what I was doing in the name of God and it was her donation to my ministry.

I was speechless! First of all, the website turned out just beautiful and secondly, how can someone open their heart to me that way? It's just almost too much to bear.

Sometimes we are so busy giving (being a mom, wife, friend....) that when someone opens their heart up to us it's just overwhelming.

Stepping out in faith is scary, but when you know it is where God is leading you, it is truly an adventure. My friends are God's angels here on earth. I don't know what I would do without them.

Have you reached out to someone lately with extraordinary kindness?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. orange juice
2. stepping out in faith
3. a great dental check up for my boys
4. the election being over!
5. going to breakfast with my hubby

Studying the Word

I am currently in a Beth Moore bible study, Living Beyond Yourself. It started out to be promising, but there is something about Beth's teaching that is not working for me. I feel as if it gets way over my head at times. I may be the only female on the planet that has anything negative to say about Beth Moore, God forgive me, but it's just not working for me.

I am in a room full of women who have studied God's word for many years and I feel very inferior in my knowledge. I know that God does not keep track of who is better versed in scripture than the other, but I want to be in His word so desperately.

I think I found an answer.

I visited Kay Arthur's website for her ministry, Precept Ministries, and was so excited to find what may be my answer.

She has a method of studying the Bible called the Inductive Study. She lays out the steps in attacking each book of the Bible. It's all Observation, Interpretation, and Application.

I started today in prayer and began reading 2 Timothy. I am praying that this method will help me in growing closer to God and to be more versed in the Word.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my son taking out the trash
2. getting up early enough to start my day with the Lord
3. a restful Sunday
4. the extra hour of sleep
5. my clothes fitting better

Be Still Sunday

Looking in the Mirror

On Oprah, Suze Orman, finanacial wonder woman, targeted a woman who was in deep financial trouble. She was being abused by her husband, physically and emotionally and he drained all of their accounts, put them in financial ruin and committed suicide.

She had no skill and four children to raise with an enormous amount of debt. She was drowning. She didn't know where to turn. That's when Suze came in. They sat and looked at the devastation in black and white and then Suze did the most awesome thing.

They went to the bathroom and Suze had the lady take her makeup off (she was all about her appearance) and Suze went right along with her and on national television, they took their makeup off. What a frightening thing for someone who never left the house without makeup.

Suze had a difficult time getting the lady to look at herself in the mirror. She said "it's not me, I don't know who I am." That's when Suze made her look at herself, without any type of mask and said "this is who you are, you are beautiful and you will get through this for yourself and your children."

Wow. What a powerful moment. I was in tears for this woman who had lost practically everything and had her resolve and dignity literally beaten out of her.

She saw truth for the first time. She saw herself.

Don't we try to dress ourselves up for the world? We work so hard at not wanting others to know that we actually may struggling. That our lives are not really as "picture perfect" as some may think.

I will admit that when I get out of the shower every night, I immediately turn my back to the mirror. I don't like the way I look. Yes, I am working very hard to get healthy, and it sure is a slow road, but I should not be ashamed of what I see.

My body gave birth to two, beautiful boys! I can walk and talk and exercise and have a good time with my family. Why should I be ashamed of what I see?

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am feafully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

God knows everything about us. Our heart's desires, our needs and wants and dreams. He made us in love. He loves us the way we are. Love yourself, cherish yourself and in all that you have and do, glorify God.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. conversation with my hubby in bed before the alarm
2. phone calls from old friends
3. planning a party for my son
4. peanut butter toast
5. wonderful co-workers

A New Day

I am back at work today after my depression had gotten the best of me this past week. I was pretty anxious about getting back with the routine, and after a little rough patch this morning, things have settled down.

My life verse is Isaiah 43:1, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." But you know, I think the best part is 43:2, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you, When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze."

When life gets rough, I often feel as if I am drowning. That I have no way back to shore. But God will never let the rivers sweep over me. He is there for me during the roughest of times in all the fires that I find myself in...I always come out unscathed because of His love. That is an amazing thing. His love endures forever and is never judgemental. What a gift!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. having the strength to start fresh
2. my sweet husband
3. the Word of God
4. a clean bathroom
5. ink in my printer

Be Still Sunday

A Really Bad Few Days

It hits suddenly. The darkness, the coldness, the shroud of depression. If you have never expereienced depression, it is very hard to understand.

"Can't you just snap out of it?"

"Go take a shower and you'll feel better."

"If your faith was stronger, you wouldn't suffer from depression."

I wish it was that easy. I've felt this setback coming, but when it hit it really scared me. I could barely care for my children.

I praise God for my sweet husband. He put me first, without condemnation, and cancelled his weekly trip to school in Denver to be with me. He forced me to do things with him and it was excruciating, but it was a victory.

Walking through the mall was the most painful thing I've done in ages. Step by step I felt as if I was going to just collapse. I put my foot one in front of the other and literally did the next right thing. It is what saved me from going to the absolute bottom of my "pit."

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry, He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God, Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord."Psalm 40:1-3

Our drive to the mall is about an hour, so during that hour, I slept. It wasn't a regular sleep, but a deep, outside of my body sleep. I didn't know who I was, even in my short dreams.

Today was a day of rest. I slept most of the day but it was different. I was not falling into the pit of depression, but I was recovering from my brief visit there. Every hour I continued to climb my way out.

It takes every ounce of your being to be in the pit. It still amazes me how a person can go there against their will. Depression just sucks you in. You fight, you pray and sometimes you have to visit the pit before you can get back to the surface.

I know I am on the upswing of this bout of depression. I am working with my doctor on my medications, and trying to stay in the moment with my husband and children.

Soon these few days will be nothing but a memory and I will move on to better days, one moment at a time.

Anxiety

I used to think my mom was crazy, when in fact she was having an anxiety attack. I mean, is that real? Do people really have attacks of anxiety?

Yes. I know. From personal experience.

Everyone get anxious about one thing or another, from time to time. But someone who suffers from anxiety can deal with attacks often. Sometimes daily, or several times a week.

I am fighting off an attack as I type this in hopes that I can pray through it and offer all I have to God.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

When I am about to take a big step in faith, anxiety will come on to me. I know it's really Satan trying to get his way with me when I have the least bit of doubt, but what I truly know is that if I am listening to God and being obedient to Him, I am moving in the right direction.

I am currently working on my marketing materials for my speaking ministry and it is all becoming real. It is really a bit scary...to put yourself out there not knowing the response you will get. But I know in my heart I am going where God is leading me.

I pray that all my actions and words will ooze Christ in all that I do.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a vacation day
2. a clean baby blanket
3. crisp, morning air
4. my reading glasses
5. highlighters

Be Still Sunday

Punkins

Last weekend we went to the Pumpkin Festival. It was wonderful! We went to the pumpkin patch and were able to pick our own pumpkins. My oldest helped his little brother pick a pumpkin of his own.



He hasn't let it out of his sight! It rides to daycare every morning with us, goes to church, goes to the store...he's just too precious. He always has his "Punkin" with him.

The change of seasons always brings a favorite verse to mind from Ecclesiastes:

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...."

We know that there is a time to be born and a time to die, a time to weep and a time to laugh. We know that the seasons will change and God will bring us blessings throughout the different seasons in our lives.

Change is inevitable. My prayer for the change in seasons is that God is always first in my heart and in the hearts of those I love.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hearing the clothes in the dryer
2. plants needing to be watered
3. the letter my mom wrote me before she passed away
4. my dogs sleeping at my feet
5. "Punkins"

Bloggy Break

I've been on a bloggy break for several days. I hadn't planned to be, but life just seemed to really be happening lately.

The last few days have been really rough. I had a situation at work that made me so upset that I have physically been sick. I hate when I get that way. The problem is that when something like that sets me off, Satan finds that opening to get at me with my depression. I see it and feel it happening, but sometimes I can't stop it.

I did have victory today though. I wanted nothing more than to call in at work and stay home in bed all day long. (It's kind of hard to do when your husband is out of town and you have to get the kids off to school :)) So, I did what I was supposed to. After they were off, I went to my desk and spent time in bible study with the Lord. I felt like a different person when I was finished. He gave me a verse today.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

As I was reading that verse and let it sink into me, I looked up and saw a book I haven't looked at in quite some time. Praying God's Word, by Beth Moore. It is a fantastic book where she takes scripture on several different strongholds in our lives and personalizes the scripture. She puts Romans 13:15 like this:

"Lord, You are the God of hope. Fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in You, so that I may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Wow! That's powerful stuff. So often I read scripture, I can even recite a few verses, but I don't know that I feel what it means to me. Part of my problem is that I have not been been setting aside my quiet time everday. This happens to me a lot. Things are basically running on auto pilot and I tend to forget that Jesus wants to hear from me everyday even with the mundane things that happen. It's not all about having a crisis, it's about having a relationship.

I pray that you have a relationship with Him. Don't neglect it, nurture it.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Doing the next right thing
2. working for a great boss
3. Celebration Ministries
4. my Cricut
5. pumpkins

Be Still Sunday

Living Well

I am truly feeling good. I am finally starting to feel the affects of working out. I was told yesterday that I "looked like I was losing weight and looked great!" Woo Hoo! That completely made my day!

Have you ever heard the saying, "I'm not where I want to be, but I'm glad I not where I was?" (something like that). All I can say to that is a huge, resounding AMEN! I have to continue to "Live Well" one day at a time.

I am glad Darlene reminds us again to "focus" in her column this week. It is so easy to let our daily lives run on automatic and forget what our focus in all things should be...Christ!

My prayer is that I not put a foot on the ground in the morning without surrendering everything I am to Christ. To put Him first in all things, especially in my quest to Live Well.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Dinner at church on Wednesday's!
2. ice water
3. Spiced Pumpkin Yankee Candles
4. A productive day at work
5. Hot Wheels

Forty and Going Strong!

Today is my fortieth birthday. I have been dreading it for the longest time. I don't know why, because age has never affected me one way or the other. The difference this year is that today marks the one year anniversary of my father going home to the Lord.

The same thing happened to my mother in law. Her mom passed away on her birthday. So many people felt bad about the timing of it all and what it would forever mean to me, but I see it differently. I appreciate the significance that of all days in the year, my dad went home to the Lord on the day I was born. It was the day he let go and was finally at peace. It's the day a huge peace enveloped me. I knew, for the first time in years, he could walk and talk again and be with my mom.

Today, I will celebrate. I will celebrate my Dad's life and what he means to me and I will celebrate forty years full of blessings that the Lord has granted me. Today is another day I don't deserve and I am going to live it to the fullest.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Christ in my heart.
2. My Dad's life.
3. My beautiful children.
4. My wonderful husband.
5. Being treated to a Spa Day!

Only Mommy Will Do

My little, sweet love, Christian, was sick yesterday. It was the start of a stuffy nose and warm forehead, and all he wanted was Mommy.

You give them medicine and a juice box and then they want to lay on you and watch a movie with their blankie.

I hate that my son was sick, but I do love those moments of lying with him and comforting him. He knows when he doesn't feel good, Mommy is always there.

The cool thing is that God provides us comfort all of the time. Not just when we are sick. He is there with His word, but do we go to it as often as we should?

I want to dive into His word when I am not in a crisis. I want to open my Bible on a daily basis and learn. We should know better than to run to Him only when times are tough. We need to feed ourselves with His word daily. This way, when times are tough, those words will begin to flow through us and comfort us.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a clean bill of health.
2. fresh, fall flowers
3. feeling good about myself
4. parent teacher conferences
5. new opportunites

Be Still Sunday

Not Done Yet

I just recently started a Beth Moore study, Living Beyond Yourself. Our church has a group who faithfully studies Beth Moore each semester, so I decided to join the Wednesday evening group.

I started a couple of weeks into the study so I am playing catch up. But I am sure glad I am doing this study. It is one of her first studies and the videos came along ten years later. It should truly be the first to do in her series. It is about the basics...living the fruit of the spirit in our everyday life.

While watching the first session video, she made a comment that I am keeping close to my heart. "If you're still drawing breath, you ain't done". Now how is that for truth!

I can easily get down in my day to day living. Sometimes I wonder, "Is this it?" You know what I mean, the daily duties of wife, mother, colleague....it is easy to lose sight of the prize at the end of our journey.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

God has each of us here for a reason. Part of that reason is to be a loving wife, mother, colleague and so many other roles. I needed to hear that truth that yes, I'm still breathing, and I ain't done!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. coffee
2. rocks that fall out of small shoes
3. the gym
4. feeling my body start to feel good
5. colored pens

Acceptance

I think I have finally accepted the fact that this weight loss journey is going to take quite a bit of time. I've been getting frustrated because I am working out so hard at the gym. I'm working with a trainer and the days I'm not with him I get to the treadmill and work hard. I'm just not seeing anything coming off.

I have to also accept the fact that my medications for my depression and my PCOS do not help my cause, but I am not going to give in to those reasons and accept the weight I am currently at.

I will admit that I am starting to "feel" better. Slow as it goes, steady wins the race. I am pressing on to my prize.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. breakfast with my husband
2. vanilla coffee creamer
3. great medical care
4. steam cleaned carpet
5. early dismissal days