What a Weekend!

I have been so amazingly blessed. I attended the "She Speaks" conference, put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries, and it was a time I will never forget.

I knew without any doubt that I was led there by God. The messages given by the team of ladies from Proverbs 31 were just amazing. I have come back home with a heart overflowing with the love of Christ.

The funny thing is, I was a little down yesterday. I didn't know what was wrong with me at first, but I had experienced so many emotions throughout the weekend and was on such a high, that I came home and it all just sank in and down I went.

Today is a great day. I just had to give myself time to process the amazing things that happened to me during the weekend and my emotions just went a little crazy.

I think one of the greatest things I came home with is knowing that Lysa, Renee, and all the other speakers are just like me, trying to get through the next thing to do with our children, spouses, homes and life. These ladies became so real to me. They do amazing things with the power of the Holy Spirit. I have been reminded that I, too, can "do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

His Hooks Are In Me

I woke up not feeling right. Physically. I got the boys up and went to church, but I couldn't concentrate in Sunday School. I was coming down with a fever and just started to feel awful. Not today! It's Father's Day! I had plans on making a great dinner and dessert for my husband, but it just didn't happen.

I slept and my husband brought me soup and made dinner for the boys.

Today was also the day I was going to spend a good deal of time finishing my presentations for "She Speaks."

Well, Satan has just gotten hold of me good today. I feel like he put his meat hooks in me and I have doubted myself all day. I have been so busy traveling with work that I haven't had time to devote to my presentations. Maybe I shouldn't be going....am I going to be ready...will I make a fool of myself?

My friend pointed it out to me that Satan just saw an easy target in me today. It still makes it hard to ignore him and do what God has intended. But I know for a fact, that I can withstand anything the devil will bring on.

Those of you out there who are are doubting, don't forget The One who loves you and believes in you. Don't listen to Satan. Tell him "Get gone, Devil! I don't have time for you!" We need to always be strong in Christ! Don't doubt the plans the Lord has for you.

What It's All About

I had one of those moments this past weekend.

My sons and I joined my husband on his weekly journey to Denver for his seminary classes. Since it was the last week of the quarter, we joined him to see where he actually went every week and just spend time together on the road.

On our way home, we stopped off to spend the day in Colorado Springs. It is just a beautiful place. If you have never been to Colorado, you must go just to see the mountains and smell the air. I've heard it referred to as "God's Country" and you can truly see why.

There is a place called the North Pole, also known as Santa Claus Land at the base of Pikes Peak. It is a must for every family to visit. Kid friendly, clean fun. There are rides for the little ones and the entire family. You can go to Santa's House and pay a visit (and take a picture for a nominal fee), send your mail and have it stamped "North Pole, Colorado", and shop until your hearts content. The train ride was a huge hit for my two year old. As we walked throughout the park, just having a fantastic time, I felt God just squeeze my heart and tell me, "This is what it's all about."

God has blessed me with two beautiful sons. They are perfect in every way. Many would think me crazy to say that since they both have hemophilia, but I know that God never makes mistakes. What these two boys have brought to my life is so tremendous, I can't begin to put it into words.

"Thank you, Father God, for pouring blessings over me by entrusting me with the lives of these two beautiful boys."

Hearing His Voice Loud and Clear

Have you ever heard God speak to you so loudly that you almost couldn't make out where He was leading you? That has been happening to me. I know God has spoken to me and is giving me direction. At first I thought I was losing my mind, because I truly did not know what He wanted me to do. Now I do.

I have wanted to develop my speaking ministry for a long time, but never really felt the push. Well, God has practically knocked me down! After a few weeks of several presentations, with the final presentation being a sermon I preached in church on Mothers Day, I knew this is what I was meant to do.

I "accidentally" came across the Proverbs 31 Ministries website and found a "She Speaks" conference devoted to women in leadership, writing and speaking the word of God. It was too perfect! But already full! I put my name on the waiting list, forgot about it and the next day received an email that three spots opened up and I was welcomed to one of them! I signed up and will be attending the conference from June 20 - 22nd. There was even one open speaker evaluation spot left open!

I have no doubt in my mind that God opened this door for me. I am praying that this experience will help give me direction in my ministry.

Sometimes it takes a good knock on the head.

Being Afraid of "The Pit"

Over the past couple of months, my depression has been rearing its ugly head. The blessing of it all is that I feel it happening. It's like I can step out of my body and see physically and emotionally what is happening to my body and mind. I had a planned trip to Houston and extended my stay so that I could see my psychiatrist and therapist.

It was time well spent. My anxiety levels were so high so for long that I felt as if my heart would come out of my body. If you have never experienced anxiety and think people "make it up," it is indeed, very real. It's almost as if you feel like a heart attack is coming on.

After a wonderful session with my therapist, the anxiety subsided. I then saw my psychiatrist and he proceeded to start some changes in my medications. It has been long overdue.

Depression is real. I have seen it coming this time, and have been scared to death to fall down into my pit. The bottom of my deepest, darkest depression is like being in a deep, cold, slimy, stony pit. You can't see daylight, you have nothing to grab onto to get out and it is very cold. I stay cold eventhough it's as if a heavy, cold quilt is covering me.

The crazy thing for me, is that I can still function. I can get the kids off to school and I can work, but my heart and mind and soul are not all there. I had started to see my work slipping, my household obligations slipping and my obligations to being there "completely" to my family slipping. I just am so thankful to God that He helped me see what was happening so that I could get the help I needed.

I didn't sink all the way down into the pit this time, and I am slowly climbing out.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40:1-2

"Ta-Da!"

I was so blessed to hear Christian author, Liz Curtis Higgs, this past weekend. She was the keynote speaker at the Celebration Womens' Ministry Spring Conference. She is funny, passionate and uplifting to hear. What a treat! She really hit home for me. Liz talked about how we, as women, will look in the mirror in disgust at what we see. How we constantly compare ourselves to an ideal that is practically impossible to achieve. Instead of groaning and looking at our faults, we should get in front of the mirror each morning and say "Ta-Da!" Because, we, his Beloved ones, are made the way we are, in his image. I've heard people say "God doesn't make junk." If we truly believe that, then why do we constantly put ourselves through the comparison process? Why aren't we good enough the way we are? Yes, I know, we need to stay healthy and eat right and exercise, but doing those things doesn't always guarantee you will be a size 6. I have known some very physically "fit" people who were large and some very physically "unfit" people who were supermodel thin. Taking care of our bodies should be a priority. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor god with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19

I struggle with my body image everyday. But I have made a promise to myself to work on my mindset and say "Ta-Da!" everyday. God has a perfect plan and you and I are in it! Isn't that amazing? I am surely not going to say that He didn't do good enough in making me who I am, right at this moment. But I will definitely work harder each day to honor God by taking care of myself.

A Fresh Start

I look at my last post, which was Decemberr 2006 and realize how different of a place I was in compared to now. I was completely exhausted mentally, physically and spiritually. When my youngest, Christian, had all of his medical problems in Houston, I didn't realize how it completely drained me. When we came home in December, things calmed down a bit, but in January it started up again and he was horribly sick and back in the hospital. You do what you have to do as a parent and have to completely trust in God to know that all things will work for the plan God has for us. His plan is perfect, even if we don't understand why we have to endure the many things that are put in our path. I have come to understand and appreciate a scripture from 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me."

I have started many new chapters in my life since January 2006. So many events have helped to mold me and guide me in my spiritual journey. I am grateful for everything, regardless of how difficult the circumstance. I give thanks to God, for the path He has chosen for me.

Being tested

The past two weeks have been a nightmare. I took my 10 month old to Houston to get his circumcision. It had been planned before we moved, so we honored the schedule. He had complications and would not stop bleeding. He developed an inhibitor, which does not allow his clotting factor to work (he has severe hemophilia).

The nurses had to use an ultrasound machine to find his veins for an IV. It was horrible. The doctor wanted to insert a port-a-cath in his chest for easier access (my older son had one), so this kept us in the hospital for awhile.

I am the first one to say that God does not give us more than we can handle, but I definitely did begin to wonder while in Houston. Why this was happening to my sweet boy?

I felt God's love and prescence like no other time in my life at that hospital. Our church families from Houston and New Mexico were just wonderful.

I am now realizing what all has happened. It's almost like it was a really bad dream.

I think as Moms, most of us deal with the problem, find the solution, follow through and get emotional later. That's what's happening to me.

No worries, though. It all happened the way and time it was supposed to. My family is happy and healthy. What more can you ask for during the Christmas season?

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
Ecclesiastes 3:1

God answered

Sometimes we ask God for things and want an answer. A particular answer and right now! We forget that God's answer may not only be "no", but "not now".

I've been feeling lonely lately, being in a new town, more secluded in where I live, and just not knowing "girlfriends" that I can get together with at a moments notice. As these thoughts were going through my head and heart on Friday evening, the phone rang. It was a woman who I've really wanted to get to know. She's just a neat person. She said, "I heard you play cards. Let's get together tomorrow night"!

It may not sound like much, but God answered a small longing in my heart.

Whenever you feel like calling someone for no reason. They are on your mind, or you're just wondering how they are doing. I have a feeling it's God wanting you to reach out. They may need you more than you know.

"Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening." 1 Samuel 3:9

Oozing

I have a friend in Texas, who is very special. She always has a glow around her. It took me a while to understand what it was about her that was so captivating.  I finally figured it out...it's the light of Christ that shines from her! She "oozes"' with the light of Christ!  She gives, and loves freely. The cool thing is that she does not "shove religion down your throat," which I know from experience, turns a non believer off. I believe you can share Christ's love without saying it outright. You live it. Breathe it. Show it in all of your actions. Not giving in to road rage, taking the high road during a discussion, listening to a friend who goes on and on and on ...... I want to be like her "when I grow up"! Oozing is not an easy task, but something I strive to do everyday.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13


Oozing Everyday from Cazandra MacDonald on Vimeo.
Submission for "A Woman Inspired" Online conference

About Cazandra

Inspirational speaker, Cazandra MacDonald, inspires women to become all that God created them to be. Her relaxed style and sense of humor puts the audience at ease and they feel as if they are visiting with their best friend.

If you are looking for a powerful, effective speaker for your next women's event, Cazandra will encourage women to know they have been redeemed by the powerful word of God, which she shares with true passion.


"Fear not for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

Cazandra MacDonald is a graduate of Houston Baptist University with a Bachelors of Music Education degree. She has been married for 20 years to Reverend Joe MacDonald. She is the mother of two boys. Her sons are ages 16 and 7. Cazandra is a former public school educator and currently works in the healthcare industry as a patient advocate serving the bleeding disorder community.

She lives in Rio Rancho, New Mexico, where she is actively involved in church ministry. Cazandra understands the challenges women face as she constantly works to balance the roles and responsibilities of being a wife to a husband in ministry as well as a working mother to two children with bleeding disorders.

Cazandra MacDonald is a graduate of Houston Baptist University with a Bachelors of Music Education degree. She is a 2013 She Speaks Intensive Graduate of Proverbs 31 Ministries.

What Others Are Saying

"To categorize Cazandra as a speaker is to minimize her talent and message.  As Charles Spurgeon preached light through darkness, she is also able to minister to everyone in all circumstances.  Her beautiful, flowing messages make her more of an orator than mere speaker."   Betty Compton, Elephant Butte, New Mexico

"Cazandra MacDonald has a compelling personal story to tell.  She speaks to those who face similar challenges with a thoughtful and upbeat message of hope.  Cazandra quickly captures the attention of an audience with her quick wit and powerful message of perseverance.  She is truly a talented inspirational speaker."  Jim Paist, Executive Director, Hemophilia Foundation of the Minnesota/Dakotas

“Cazandra belongs to the church I attend. She also took a writing class that I presented. I knew of her musical talents but was amazed at two other assets she has. One, her writing comes straight from her heart. She’s expressive as well as informative. I was pleased to have heard her give two talks, one for a woman’s group and the second as a sermon. Wow! I think if she were a pastor at any given church, the church would have standing room only! She is a fine Christian, a wonderful friend and a loving mother. It is my pleasure to know her.” Barbara Walsh, author, Deming, NM

"Cazandra carries with her as she speaks a comfort level to share others stories so that she can make and help you feel comfortable.  Her experience is God given and He has given her the ability to help others who just might need that little bit of help along the way."  Johanna Chappelle, RN, President, Sangre de Oro, Inc., Albuquerque, New Mexico

"Cazandra MacDonald is a remarkable and captivating speaker. She has a God-given talent to convey a relevant message and immediately connect with her audience. She is able to motivate her audience, no matter if it is a small group or several hundred, as they experience her real-life stories. Cazandra inspires those around her to make a difference in their own life and to those in relationship with them. Simply stated, after hearing Cazandra I want to be a better person". Jay Bryant-Wimp, Columbia, MO

Statement of Faith

I believe the Bible to be the inspired Word of God.

I believe that we are all broken people who yearn for relationship in one greater than ourselves.

Prayer is communication with God. The results of our prayer lead to a relationship with Him.

Jesus Christ is the son of God, who died and rose again to forgive us of our sins

All persons have spiritual gifts that are to be used in ministry.

With God all things are possible.

Topics

Do You "Ooze"?
Having the light of Christ radiate from you is a gift from God. We all struggle with living a life that glorifies God. What are some things that we can feed ourselves with to have His light shine through us? Come and be renewed with truth from God as women share the things that help them keep connected with Christ everyday.

From Doubt to Joy: Making the Most of Every Day"
This one hour, motivational presentation will focus on living an empowered life with a bleeding disorder. Bleeding disorders are challenging and life changing, but attitude makes all the difference when living with a chronic condition. Hospitals, inhibitors, emergency rooms, and needing an extra refrigerator are all part of the bleeding disorder reality. The audience will participate in an activity that will help them to see their current situation in a new light. Connections will be made and hopefully a new attitude for those struggling with their condition will emerge.

Are You Black and Blue?
Do you “beat yourself up” if things are not perfect? Do you struggle with your body image because you are not a certain weight? Are you not able to “keep up with the Jones’”? Come and hear the truths about how comparisons can destroy your spirit, if you are not armed with the Word of God.

"Forty" and Qualified!
Do you think you are supposed to accomplish "certain things" by a "certain age"? Do you let yourself get stuck into thinking that age is the end all? God uses everyone regardless of their age. Your path in life may be changing and you may be fighting it, but come and hear how God used people throughout the Bible to do wonderful things at different stages in their lives.

Cazandra's topics are designed to be approximately 45 minutes to an hour in length. Several topics may be woven together for conferences and retreats. Cazandra is happy to address the needs of your group and develop a specialized message.