Yuck

Yuck. That's how I feel today. Both of my sons are having bleeding issues (hemophilia). My oldest has been home three days from school due to a bleed and my husband took our little one to the treatment center 3 1/2 hours away to get his port checked. They are on the mend, but when they hurt and have problems, it hurts me deep down. I'd rather it be me.

As for taking care of myself, that's not going well right now. I just feel defeated. I even took the day off today to try and renew my focus, but I've just wasted the day. I hate getting like this.

I know I can do all things through Christ, I just fall into this pit from time to time and it eats me up.

Today I Am Thankful For

1. a clean kitchen
2. remote controls
3. tea
4. my husband offering to let me stay home
5. good smelling lotion

How to Look Good Naked

Have you seen the show "How to Look Good Naked?" I will admit that I have watched a few episodes and after a few times, you just start to feel really bad that a woman is putting herself out there in such a vulnerable way. I could not even imagine going on that show!

Women who have issues with their bodies go on to the show and the host, Carson Kressley, walks them through why they feel the way they do about their bodies. He asks, as they are in their underwear and bras, what they like and don't like about their body. Then, they rate themselves by comparing themselves to other women (also in bras and panties) to see where they think they stack up. Are they bigger or smaller, etc.

A week or so ago, I flipped on the show after it had already started, and Carson was showing a woman two life sized portraits of two very beautiful women. They were not overweight and he asked her what she liked about each of them. After a few minutes, he asked the models of the photos to come out from behind the pictures and they did not look at all like the photos. They had been airbrushed! The women from behind the photos were overweight and flawed....they were "real" women.

I loved this exercise in truth! The images we see on a daily basis are so often not reality. The woman who studied the photos was just blown away when they walked out and revealed their true selves.

After this portion of the show, the woman goes through a full makeover and does a photo shoot "naked" (covered in strategic places). In the end, you see women start to heal. They start to see themselves for who they really are and not the extra weight that is on them. That is the true message of the show.

Darlene tells us that when we "Live Well" we need to focus not on the weight and the food (especially when we "mess up") but on Christ. Who do we live for? Who do we want to "ooze" and shine through our every move? Jesus.

I pray that each of you go out this week with a renewed focus on who you serve in all things. And remember that you have been made by the Creator of the Univerese. You are perfect in his eyes.
Blessings

Today I Am Grateful For:

1. My new laptop!
2. Factor 8 that treats my sons bleeds
3. Rain
4. My husband
5. Kind words from a colleague

Oh, My G**!

Have you noticed how people carelessly throw around the name of the Lord? Most every reaction you hear is "Oh, my G**"! When I was younger, I used that expression all the time. Then I started to think about it. What did I really mean? Whom was I talking about? I realized my reactions to simple, and unimportant things...things that didn't take much thought...were punctuated with the name of the Creator of the Universe.

Is it too hard to say, "Oh, my gosh?" or "Oh, my goodness?"

We need to think twice about the words that come out of our mouths. Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Some may think that using the word "God" as an exclamation is not unholy, but I think it is more of an issue of reverence. Do we revere God in only his works and word not the proclaimation of His name? In the Jewish tradition, you will see Yahweh written as Y*****. They will not speak or write his name out of reverence. I think that is pretty amazing.

Choosing your language, and exclaimations, just may impress on others what you are and are not saying.

Today I am grateful for:
1. New kitchen floors!
2. a hard workout at the gym
3. an ice, cold 44 oz SONIC Diet Coke
4. the sounds of the handbells rehearsing at church
5. peaches

There's No Place Like Home

It is the third and final day of my business trip in Missouri. I am so ready to go home. So many people think traveling is "glamorous", but in truth, it gets old quick. I don't travel nearly as much as most of my colleagues and I can tell you this, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

It's really hard to "Live Well" when you are traveling. Last night we had a huge going away dinner for my boss and when you are in those situations, it's just hard to keep control. I did really well given the circumstances. The only thing is, I didn't work out. It had been an extremely long day into evening and I had a headache, so I went to my room and called it a night.

I am looking forward to going home, not just so that I can get back on my schedule of eating the way I should and exercising, but I just miss my guys.

Today I am grateful for:
1. 10 minute breaks in a long meeting
2. Tylenol
3. Sharing memories with colleagues
4. Hearing my sons voices on the phone
5. A great, big glass of iced tea

Join other women in their quest to "Live Well" by visiting http://www.christianwomenonline.net/live_well_wednesdays.html.

A Small Victory

Last night I had a business dinner. It was casual, as our team hasn't been together in a while. I love the team I work with. We are from all over the country and just mesh together so well. I am one of the oldest members on the team (not just in age, but in time with the company also). I ended up sitting next to a member from "Corporate" who is not a "member of our team", but is someone who is taking over as a person we answer to. I was pretty nervous. But it was great! We made great small talk and found that we had a few things in common and he was truly interested in the part I played on our team. The nerves disappeared! Victory for me! I felt as if I belonged (I've always known I did, but it's the demons playing games in my mind....)

I also worked out after dinner in the hotel exercise room! That, has never happened before. I "Lived Well" yesterday despite the traveling and business that happened around me. Woo Hoo!

Today I am grateful for:
1. Hearing my little one blow me kisses on the phone.
2. Hearing my oldest being jazzed about the 7th grade!
3. Feeling my worth.
4. A cool summer evening in Missouri.
5. Bottled water.

Blessings!

Gratitude

I am traveling on business to St. Louis today. During my layover in Dallas, early this morning, I went in search of a very large cup of coffee. My mind has not been settled. Whenever I go on certain business trips where “schmoozing” will be involved, I get in a very bad place in my mind. I second guess my worth, my knowledge, my contributions to the company and then I go into the “I don’t look the part”. “I cant’ lose weight fast enough, blah, blah, blah. As I walked “in search of”, I overheard a woman behind me on her cell phone. She sounded as if she was talking to a family member and said, “Her right arm and leg are paralyzed……….” That’s all I remember. That’s all I needed to hear. Here I am getting down on myself because of my appearance and there is someone who has lost the use of two of their limbs! I immediately asked God to forgive me. I can be so selfish. The things I find important or I should say the things that consume me, are trite in the grand scheme of the world.
Do we thank God often enough for what we have? Our health, our family, that we can worship as we please, that we have more than enough food to eat, that we can earn an honest living. Something I did regularly, quite some time ago, was to write in a “Gratitude Journal”. At the end of the day I would write down five things I was grateful for, no matter how large or small. I am starting that today. I encourage you to do the same. What are some of the things you are grateful for?
Today I am grateful for:
1. The unexpected hour I had to wait for the shuttle and was able to write.
2. The ability to walk through the airports without needing assistance.
3. For my husband, who takes over the “Mommy” stuff when I travel (and does a beautiful job).
4. A job that allows me freedom in my schedule and to work from home.
5. The calling the Lord has put on my heart to write and speak His word.

Want versus Need

I just read a great devotional by Darlene at Living Well Wednesday. She talks about "Hunting and Pursuing". I catch myself, so often, trying to get more. More stuff. I know the differnce between want and need, but so often I just go for the "want". It's the same with food. Am I really hungry, or do I just want to eat because I'm bored? Perhaps I've just finished a meal and I am satisfied, but that pie looks awfully good. I want it, I don't need it!

I am trying to change my want vs. need mentality in all ways, especially where food is concerned.

What about Christ? My relationship is with Him is definitely a need. I try to pursue Him everyday, but so often I fall short and don't follow through. I let life get so busy that I forget to spend time and make that time that I spend with Him a priority. It is a need. A need that once I grab onto will fill me up in all ways.

I hope you are Living Well. Not just by meeting your physical needs but most especially in letting Christ consume you.

A New Baby

I just heard that an old friend of mine from Houston gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! Mom and baby are doing wonderful. He was diagnosed with Severe Hemophilia A like one of his brothers. It took me back to my youngest son's (Christian) diagnosis. I was certain that my oldest son's diagnosis of Severe Hemophilia A was a fluke. Surely I would not have another child with hemophilia. Well, God had other plans for our family and for my Christian.

I truly believe the Lord does not give any of us more than we can handle. I never dreamed I would have one child, much less two, with a severe, chronic, medical condition. It may sound strange, but Hemophilia has been nothing but a blessing in many ways to our family. Would I prefer that my children did not have the disorder? Of course! But we are equipped in every way to handle it and to raise our boys knowing that it is something they must live with and can live extremely full lives with little they cannot do.

I thank God for the road He has led me on. I encourage you to find the blessings in everything that comes your way.

"If only..."

Have you ever come across someone who you just want to shake and tell them "Don't you get it?" You see how they can be fixed. "If they would only".........then they would be okay. "If they would only".................they would lose weight. "If they would only"..............they would save money. And so on and so on.

I know for a fact God did not put me here on earth to "fix" others in the ways I think they should be fixed. I think when you become a mom, something inside you just switches on that makes you want to be the "Grand Fixer of All Things...and People". Sometimes it's just so hard to love others and see them the way God sees them. I hate when I do that.

"Father, God, I pray today that I have eyes to see others as you do. To love unconditionally, and to give wholeheartedly."

Living Well Wednesday

I needed to be reminded to "focus". It's so easy to take everything in at once, and not any one single thing. Every time I sit on the sofa (in my spot) my two year old immediately climbs in my lap. I have caught myself getting frustrated when he does this because I am trying to watch a show, or reading a book. But I know that I need to stop, and focus on him. The other stuff can wait.

It's like our "Living Well". I so often think about being at my goal weight and how long it will take. And what happens, I get frustrated and overwhelmed. I don't stop and focus on just today. One thing at a time.

I actually feel great! I've been consistently going to the gym and have been watching what I'm eating. I'm not trying to go crazy with counting calories, I'm just focusing on three sensible meals and snacks. One step at a time.

I also am starting a new bible study, "Believing God" by Beth Moore. I started it several years ago, and never did finish. I have felt led to re visit this study, so I am excited about focusing on it over the next several weeks.

Here's to "Living Well"!

Sunday's

We have made Sunday a day of no television, no computers, and no XBox, until 5 pm...you have to start somewhere. Electronics have taken over and I am just as bad as my hubby and Lance. It's gotten to where I don't really watch t.v. (summer t.v. is pretty bad anyway) but I need the noise on. Or else my little one, Christian, is watching a movie. It just keeps me company.

It has gone extremely well. We read a lot after church, and take the customary Sunday nap. We go outside as a family and just have fun. There's not really been any complaining, which has been great. I am hoping we can extend our "No T.V." time, but know that we just need to take it a step at a time.

I want Jesus to keep me company. I don't need reruns and mindless shows on in the background, just the companionship of the Creator.