Wednesday, January 12, 2011


"Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don't stand a chance against you;
you'll sweep them right off your doorstep." Psalm 127:3-5 (The Message)

I took my boys to their annual Hemophilia Clinic appointment yesterday. I was expecting a pretty normal, routine visit. My "Lance" is a walk in the park with his hemophilia. He's not had major issues with bleeding, infuses himself regularly and does great. Now my "Christian" is another story.

He is starting another round of chemo on Friday (the treatments last year have really improved his inhibitor levels) and does have regular bleeds, especially in his right ankle, a target joint. He's been walking funny for a few weeks, and I was thankful that we were going to visit with the physical therapist.

Long story short, he was fitted for a brace for his ankle. When we go into the hospital Friday, it will be ready for him to try out.

I know, a brace is not a big deal, no one will probably even notice it under his pants, but the fact is "I" know it's there.

I absolutely hate that my children have to deal with a chronic condition. Yes, it will never "go away" or "get better." When you look at my children you would never know anything was wrong with them medically. Unless they were pretty bruised up at the time. Christian has an implanted port that is often left accessed, so you can see the bandage under his shirt sometimes. And if his shirt is off, you can see the "bump" of his port. Now the brace. An outward sign of something that is not right, something that is different.

When I got back in the car with my boys after our appointment, Lance could see I was a little upset. "Why are you upset about a brace, Mom? It's not a big deal" he said.

He's right. It's not a big deal. Christian could be bound to a wheelchair or not able to walk at all, but my first reaction is that when someone is "different" they stick out. They are marked. And often attacked for it.

I've seen it time and again with Lance. The bullying because he was not a "jock". It was relentless.

My Christian is young enough where his Pre-K friends won't even notice, but soon enough, kids cruelty shines through.

I just worry and I know that I should not worry about tomorrow, because today definitely has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34).

I truly believe my children are here for great things. God created them just the way they are. He knew they were strong enough to handle the "extras" that life would throw at them with a bleeding disorder.

I also know that God blessed me and my husband with these two particular creatures, not just to love them and care for them and raise them to be Godly men, but to help us be better people. To love unconditionally and go the extra mile with all the "stuff" that living bleeding disorder brings to the table.

Different is not bad. I can't imagine what life would be like if we were all the same!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Extra blankets
2. Choo- choo tables
3. A kind hearted doctor
4. Clean restrooms
5. That beautiful pink in a New Mexico sunset

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MePlusMyThree said...

I understand how you feel - when Caitlin got her braces it was a blow.

People are cruel - that is certainly true. But they are also kind and helpful and compassionate and accepting.

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