A Privledge

What a privledge I had this weekend to speak to a group of parents in Montana about parenting and bleeding disorders. It was great! The audience participated and had great comments that were encouraging for each other (I was worried they wouldn't talk...they were spunky)!

Something happened in the middle of the presentation...I was standing there, going through my power point when all of a sudden I realized I wasn't that scared, freaked out new mom of a child with hemophilia anymore. Not anymore!

Boy have things happened in the past thirteen years.

It's amazing how God prepares us.

I believe those years ago as I was learning all the ins and outs of being a new mom to a child with hemophilia, He was preparing me for the day I would share my experiences with others.

It's an amazing feeling to know that God is using you.

I also believe you don't have to be doing something "huge" like presenting to a room of people or heading up a major corporation. He uses us everyday. In our roles of being parents and spouses...teachers and cheerleaders...equippers and encouragers.

How is God using you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. kind people
2. a cherished opportunity to speak
3. hotel coffee
4. fun purses
5. leggings

Gray

We had the shortest hospital stay ever! Less than 24 hours! Yes, it was an exhausting day, but we are home. My Christian has an infection in his port, but we are on the road to treating it and we are home!

There is something I noticed at the hospital. The parents of children who are admitted look "gray." They have a haze of grayness around them.

I ran into the dad of a child, in his sweats, with his Wendy's Biggie drink, walking to the nourishment room for ice. He just had a cloud around him.

I guess because I've been one of those parents more times than I care to remember that I've never noticed.

When you live at the hospital you live from the few changes of clothes you have (and wash regularly at the Ronald McDonald room), you sneak away when your child is asleep for food and drink, television becomes your friend (when the cartoons are not on), and you learn to wait.

My heart goes out to these parents. My prayers to each and every one of them.

It is hard to have a sick child.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my own bed
2. dollar store surprises
3. my bluetooth
4. lollipops
5. being home

Holed Up

Today has been a wonderful day. My Christian and I have been "holed up" in a hotel room in Albuquerque. He has an MRI in the morning, so we stayed over the weekend. My husband and Lance came up and we hung out and had a great time.

They left this morning, so he could go preach, and me and Christian have been on our own. His ankle needed a break so we have stayed in and had a nice day.

Reading magazines, coloring, playing choo choos, taking naps...sometimes you need those kind of days.

I try to not let my mind begin to worry about the MRI. I am insisting that I only be "concerned" with what they may find.

More to come.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Corn Nuts
2. the Olympics
3. clipping articles
4. coloring books
5. chunky crayons

Meltdown

Yesterday was not pretty.

My Christian had an ankle bleed Wednesday night, so he wasn't walking and I had to stay home to work on Thursday. I had to get both of us ready to travel to Albuquerque for his treatments Thursday evening and Friday.

My Lance is struggling in math.

My husband is stressed with school and being a pastor, so I have to bring balance to our lives.

Work is driving me crazy (too many projects and a presentation coming up). And I just could not focus.

I was in tears.

Everything seemed to be coming down all at once and I could not breathe.

We did make it to Albuquerqe. Treatment is going well.

I did raise the white flag and took off a couple of days at work.

My husband and Lance are coming up for the weekend since we have to stay for an MRI on Monday, so we can all go play!

I am breathing again.

The Lord never gives us more than we can handle. Why is it that we begin to doubt ourselves? Why do we let the worries of the world take over?

It's okay to have concerns, but worries...no.

What concerns do you have that take over your life?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. plums
2. standing my ground with the doctor
3. peanut butter crackers
4. Cheese Nips
5. familiar faces at the hospital

Oozing with purpose

As I am in my early forties, I have struggled with many things. I'll admit, I've had a bit of a midlife crisis. But the one thing I often question is, "What is my purpose in life?"

I've come up with many things:
to be a good mother
to be a good wife
to bring as much as I can to my job
to make sure my children are taken care of medically (hemophilia)
to support my husband in ministry
the list goes on.

But isn't the ultimate purpose we should all strive for the same? To bring glory to God in all that we do! To ooze the spirit of Christ in all of our comings and goings, to ooze through the words we use, the love we share. That should be the way we live our lives.

We will be good mothers and wives. Everything for the glory of God , even if we don't get the results we are looking for, our intent and passion to serve Christ will shine through.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my prayer journal
2. button down shirts
3. freshly, polished fingernails
4. grape juice
5. shined boots

Loneliness

"Loneliness can be God's call to fellowship with Him."

My mind is a dangerous neighborhood to walk by myself. You know what I mean? It's a great place for Satan to take root.

I was cleaning the kitchen, no one else at home, and I started to travel into some negative territory...my weitht, doubt, loneliness. Then I did something pretty great...I stopped and started talking to God. I was washing the dishes and just started talking to him in the midst of my negativity.

Within a few minutes I felt so much better! I was so excited that I didn't travel down the thought path that Satan had prepared for me.

It's the little victories that mean so much.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. homemade cookies
2. greasy fingers
3. raffia
4. curtains
5. bare feet

Traveling

I am traveling to Kansas City today for a team meeting. I work with an amazing group of people who are spread out across the country. We meet in person quarterly, but talk as a group daily.

I always get nervous when I am about to see everyone. I begin to doubt what I bring to the table. Am I good enough? Do I measure up to the standards of our team?

Ugh! Doubt will kill your spirit if you let it.

I have to remember that God doesn't ask out of us what isn't already in us. That I am in the place (and job) that I am in for many amazing reasons...even if I don't have a clue what they are :)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. coffee
2. short security checkpoints
3. ladies stepping forward in ministry at church
4. fried chicken
5. crystal platters

Rest

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

So many things happen to us on a daily basis. The little things add up. The big things take our breath away in an instant. Regardless of how insignificant we may think our problems are, God is there for us. For every single thing.

This verse from Matthew is very comforting to me. I especially like "will give you rest." Knowing that God is there for me in all things allows me to rest for a moment...to breathe knowing that His will is going to be done.

We can live our lives "weary" or in "joy."

I have a friend ("J") who recently lost a young daughter. To lose a child must be beyond devastating. I am amazed at "J" because she has shown up to Bible Study, shares in class and looks better every time I see her. She has given up everthing to the Lord and is healing. She has chosen joy. She has given her sadness and grief to the Lord and He is carrying her.

What are you struggling with? What has become a burden so heavy that your joy has disappeared? The Lord is big enought to handle anything you give him!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my little one walking (healed from a bleed)
2. toy tools
3. cards from old friends
4. ceramics
5. emery boards

Being Called

When you use the word "called" often time people think you are crazy or that it just applies to "ministry."

I don't think that's true. I think everyone is called to do something. To create, to write, to learn, to parent, to teach, to sing....the list goes on.

The one thing I am certain of in my life is the calling that has been placed on my life to teach. I taught middle school for many years and left when a lucrative offer came my way for a career change. In that new career I continued to teach...but now adults.

I have ventured out into a new arena. Women's bible study. Last night I started a group and we are studying, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, by Joanna Weaver. It is a wonderful book that was given to me a few years ago and I have always wanted to share it with a group of women. And we started last night.

It was wonderful! We have a fantastic group of about 12 women, all very different. All bringing wonderful stories and perspectives to the table.

I am so honored to be a part of this dynamic group of women. I pray that I am up to the task to facilitate and lead all to a deeper understanding of the Word of God.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. catalogs
2. kleenex
3. retreats
4. new outfits
5. choo-choos

Wonderful News!

I am so excited! Our hematologist called today and Christian's inhibitor levels are the lowest they have ever been! It looks like the chemo is working!

All of the trips, all of the money, all of the waiting, all of the crying and doubt about whether or not we made the right decision....I could go on and on.

God's timing is perfect. He has led us down this path and now we see the results.

I am so overjoyed that I can hardly put words together!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. phone calls
2. test results
3. teacher's that care
4. watered plants
5. the weekly newspaper

4 Years Ago

4 years ago today, my life changed. I gave birth to my second son, Christian. For four years my husband and I tried to conceive (our oldest son is 10 years older than Christian). When we finally gave up trying, there he was!

To say we were utterly amazed that we were blessed with another child is an understatement. The pregnancy was difficult but worth every minute.

Not only did our lives change because we were bringing a newborn into our home after 10 years, but he, too, was diagnosed with Severe Hemophilia. I only thought I knew how to handle Hemophilia after dealing with Lance's condition...Christian has taken us down a road with a bleeding disorder that I never dreamed.

After many hospitalizations, surgeries, and chemotherapy my life is filled with a joy I never imagined.

The Lord has provided for us in ways too numerous to list. And entrusting us with two amazing lives to raise is beyond words.

I am not sure what is in store for us, but I know the Lord will never give us more than we are able to handle.

Happy Birthday, my sweet, Christian. The best is yet to come.


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. candles
2. birthday cake
3. email
4. presents
5. tokens

My Christian

My Christian has been having a rough time. He's had a knee bleed and an ankle bleed back to back within the past two weeks. It's been very painful for him. To see him crawling and limping just hurts my heart. I spent Wednesday morning with him...from midnight until 4 am, holding him to try and soothe his pain.

As a parent, I would do anything in the world to take the pain of hemophilia away from my children. But it's just not in the plan. All I can do is be there in every way possible for both of my boys. To make sure they have their factor, that it is administered properly, to hold them when they are in pain and all has been done except let time pass for the injury to heal.

Tonight has been one of those nights as we wait in the hotel in Albuquerque and administer fluids before his chemo on Friday. The waiting, the re-accessing of his port, the anticipation of yet another new drug in the hopes that his inhibitor will be eradicated.

We wait and we pray for God's will to be done.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my homecare company
2. our nurse S.
3. chocolate cake
4. chicken strips
5. anticipation

A Big Day

I've been working on a presentation to give to offices in my work network across the country. It was an idea I had and was given the go ahead to run with the project. Today I give my first conference call twice...the first one in an hour!

When you feel passionately about something, step out in faith and make it happen. It can sure be scary, but the Lord will be with you when it is truly the right thing to do.

Prayers appreciated :)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. ice, cold water
2. clean dishes
3. fluorescent lamps
4. dusty plants
5. cold rooms

Give God a Year

I was considering the "picture a day" idea for 2010 where you take a picture a day in your life and post 365-1, 365-2, etc. But I've had a better idea.

I'm giving God a year. In my never ending quest to lose weight, I came across a new book written by Carole Lewis, "Give God a Year." So far it's a really good read. The whole idea is to commit to a year of giving God first place in your day and everything else falls into place. It's not about "losing weight" but getting your priorities in order where your relationship with Christ is concerned.

The week before Christmas I started my year. I am pretty good at my daily devotional time, but I want to deepen my relationship with Christ. I am committing myself to a regular daily time with God where I am journaling and right now working on a First Place 4 Health Bible study.

I could easily say that my committment is to lose X number of pounds, exercise regularly, etc. but I think that working on my relationship will help everything else fall into place.

What have you resolved to do this year that is different than in the past?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. droopy plants
2. space heaters
3. this morning's sunrise
4. Joe making his flight home
5. gift card holders

Back to the Grind

It's tough going back to school (work) after the holidays!



I hope you and yours had a wonderful holiday season.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hamburgers
2. dinner invitations
3. long conversations
4. decorations being put away
5. routine

A Great Year

2009 was a wonderful year!

Yes, we started with Lance in the hospital for an appendectomy in January and yes Christian was in the hospital several times and began chemo this year, but overall the year has been great.

My husband is 6 months away from finishing his Master of Divinity and being commissioned in the Methodist Church, my job is developing and offering me more responsibilities and projects, we are serving a church in a new capacity and my children are happy.

I never dreamed we would have moved and serve a church by this time, but God's timing is perfect.

I pray that 2010 offers you and your families many blessings.

Happy New Year!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. peanut butter on a bagel
2. haircuts
3. cards to address
4. external hard drives
5. new beginnings

I Stopped...

It's so easy for the evenings in our home to go by without much interaction. Last night, my oldest son was wiping out his hard drive and trying to get his netbook to work, my husband was working on clearing papers, bills, etc., I was washing dishes, and my little Christian was watching a Thomas video.

Christian came up to me and said, "Come watch with me"! So, I stopped what I was doing and went and laid on his bed and watched his little DVD player with him. We talked all about the movie and giggled till our tummies hurt!

We get so tied up into what we are doing that sometimes we forget to "be" together.

We've started playing alot of Wii tennis and it's too much fun.

What are you doing as a family everyday?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. cardstock
2. scrapbooking
3. invites to parties
4. choclate covered pecans
5. enjoying the moment

A Wonderful Holiday

Christmas with a three year old is just too much fun! My thirteen year old is still young enough to also still "be a kid" and not too much of a "tween" and it made for a wonderful Christmas morning.

When your small family of four lives hundreds of miles away from family, it can be a little lonely. I was set to make a nice meal on Christmas Day, watch some movies and that would have made our holiday complete. But we were invited to Christmas lunch at B and T's and Christmas dinner at J and B's! We took everyone up on their offers and we had such a blessed day!

Family is not only "blood" but family is the love you have for others and the relationships you cultivate. This was one of our best Christmas Day's to date.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. friendship
2. the possibility of snow
3. fleece
4. B's tamales
5. after Christmas shopping

Happy Anniversary!

This past weekend, my husband and I celebrated seventeen years of marriage. It seems like we have been together forever (in a good way).

I was too young at the time to know the kind of love that I experience with him now. We have traveled many paths together, loved our children, and created new lives for ourselves in a new place (a few times).

The way we spent our weekend was perfecft. We drove up to Santa Fe (one of our favorite places) and spent the day in the square shopping, went to the movies with the boys and ended the day on the Storybook Train.

The train took us a few miles out of Santa Fe, stopped under the night sky and a storyteller came out and read The Polar Express to all the children. Then hot chocolate and cookies were served and the evening finished with a visit from Santa! He even passed out jingle bells from his reindeer. My Christian was thrilled!

It's these precious moments in life that make everything worthwhile.

I love you, Joe.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hot tea

2. sweatshirts

3. baking yet to come

4. push pins

5. fresh flowers

Friday's

This is what our Friday's have looked like.....







after today we have a month break! Then we start a new infusion drug that is a once a month infusion for five months. Hopefully this protocol will work on Christian's levels and do the trick.

We continue to pray.

We do what we have to for our children.

A friend recently told me "I could never stick my child in the chest with a needle!" Well, I never thought I could either, but you do what you have to do.

I look around the infusion suite and I see children with no hair battling cancer...young teens on dialysis...there is always something greater than you can imagine to deal with.

I'll take what we have and thank God for the blessings in my life.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. naps
2. my iPhone
3. sunflower seeds
4. Christmas shopping (FINISHED!)
5. trains

No Room

Have you ever had a Christmas season where once it was all over you realized you had left Christ out of the picture?



I have promised to try my best to not let that happen. I am purposely scaling back...not every ornament is on the tree (I only have one tree instead of two), not all the decorations, including the village, came out of their boxes, I've not gone overboard shopping and baking...quite yet.



I want to enjoy the quiet of Christmas...you know, enjoy the sounds around me. Enjoy my children as we watch as Christmas special, prepare for our days off together and plan some quality time. Enjoy just "being".



Our holiday schedules get so busy that we have no room for solitude with the Lord, no room for Jesus to work wonders in your life, no room in our schedules to breathe, no room for Jesus.



I challenge you this holiday season to leave room for the One who is most important.



Today I Am Thankful For:



1. Walmart pizza

2. pictures with Santa

3. holiday music

4. porch lights

5. tea lights

Advent

At lunch after church I heard an interesting conversation. A woman, who is close friends to our lunch buddies, had never heard of Advent. She is a church going woman, but their church does not celebrate Advent.

She was trying very hard to understand what this time in our church year meant. I find it odd that not everyone knows about Advent. Growing up Catholic and becoming Methodist, it is part of our tradition, so it is all I know at this time of year.

Advent is a time of preparation. A season to prepare for the birth of Christ. Some people use Advent calendars to mark off the days until Christmas, others use candles, but regardless of how you mark the season of Advent it reminds us that the coming of Christ into the world is not something that just happened in the past -- the season of Advent tells us that Christ continues to come into our world in the present through the lives of people who choose to follow Him.

Just as we prepare our homes for guests at the holidays, we need to prepare our hearts for the most special guest of all.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. lots of work to keep me busy "at work"
2. furniture polish
3. snowmen
4. childhood Christmas decorations
5. fingerpaints

Presents

"It is better to give than to receive."



I do love to give presents. I love to pick out just the right paper with a pretty bow, but let's be honest, it's nice to get a present too and that's okay.



When you start to look around, there are presents everywhere. Not just wrapped in pretty boxes and bags but around you in your daily living.



Your child doing well in school, a warm house in the winter, food to eat, a computer to surf and blog, a sleeping dog under the tree...you just have to open your eyes to the blessings around you. If they were wrapped in a pretty box, you would love to open them and cherish them.






The reality is, we have received the ultimate gift of all. Jesus. He died for us. For each of us. I mean think about it...God sent his only son to die on the cross for us. That is huge! Watch The Passion of the Christ sometime to get a visual of what that really meant. We say it so often and take it for granted, but what did it look like? Do we know what it means? We are given the gift of His love everyday. The gift of forgiveness of our sins, everyday.



Think about presents today. How would you wrap up the love of Christ?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. papers to shred

2. a decorated tree

3. "Jingle Bell Rock"

4. newly hung pictures

5. the clinking sound in the dryer

Another week

I always enjoy Monday mornings. I know, it sounds crazy, but I like to gather my thoughts and plans for the week and know that a new week has come with many opportunities.

Holiday decorations to display, meals to cook, cookies to bake, music to prepare...the list goes on, but it is a list of things that will bless our family. New traditions mixed with the old to make some wonderful memories.

I have finally gotten to the point in my life where I do not let holiday's "rule" me. I used to get very stressed out about buying presents (did I get enough) decorating just right (what was Martha Stewart doing lately) and did the food I cook and bake come out good enough?

There is not a"right" way to celebrate, as long as you are with your family and friends.

Enjoy the beginning of your week! Fill it with memory making!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new bulletin boards
2. iPod chargers
3. portable DVD players (keeps Christian busy in the hospital :)
4. turtleneck sweaters
5. firewood

Slow but steady...

Slow but steady wins the race, or in our case today, slow but steady will get you to Albuquerque safely!

We had snow and ice in our small town last night and getting to the hospital (2 hours away) to an 8:30 am appointment did not quite happen. We arrived at 9:30 but all in one piece.

Christian's chemo did not even start running in his IV until 2 pm! Doctor's orders were not written out completely, and one thing after another seemed to happen. His treatment will hopefully be finished around 8 pm. It is something that cannot be rushed. Slow and steady.

I think it's like our relationship with Christ. In the beginning we get so excited and want everything to happen quickly. We want to be close to God desperately, but it takes time to develop our relationship. We cannot make it happen through being on every committee at church and attending every Bible Study available. It takes time. Personal, quiet time. Slow and steady.

Being consistent in my time with the Lord on a daily basis is what has kept me connected. That relationship has strengthened over the past several years.

When I make the drive that I have come to be very familiar with to Albuquerque, I feel the Lord with me. It's a great time to talk.

When do you talk to Him?

Working for the Lord

What a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend! I am overwhelmed with the blessings in my life. We got away to nearby Santa Fe, rode the train, played in the snow...it was great. We have some family in from Houston for a few more days and sometimes I get overwhelmed at cooking and keeping everyone happy. This prompted a verse to come to mind.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:23

When you think about the verse, it's kind of hard to not work with a smile on your face and warmth in your heart. Working at cooking meals, making people feel at home while they are away from theirs, working at our daily jobs that are not in ministry.

Everything we do should glorify God. That is what oozing is all about. You can ooze the Holy Spirit while you are working on quarterly reports, preparing a mailing and making phone calls.

It's a challenge. Can you take this verse to heart this week? What will be your biggest challenge?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. pecans
2. the possibility of snow
3. rocking chairs
4. hand sanitizer
5. groomed dogs

Giving Thanks

If I was to list the things I am thankful for, I don't know if I could stop. It's not just the big things like a great job, or my health, but also the little things like peanut butter and biscuits at the local diner.



I can honestly say that I am thankful for the bleeding disorders that my children have. I've experienced a lifetime with them both and it has made me grow and will turn my boys into strong men.



I am also thankful that several years ago I learned that Thanksgiving does not have to be "done" a "certain" way...i.e. "Martha Stewart."



I am in a hotel in Santa Fe with my family, having a Thanksgiving feast (that I'm not cooking) at the Marriott with a leisurely movie thrown in. What a glorious day it will be! Surrounded by the mountains in what I deem "God's Country."



My prayer for you is that you do not get too overwhelmed by Thanksgiving. Don't be "Martha" (Luke 10:38-42)! Enjoy the company as "Mary" enjoyed listening to Jesus. It was a time she did not want to pass up.



Our lives are filled with charmed moments. Moments that we will hopefully be awake enough to experience and hopefully wise enough to appreciate (Katrina Kenison, The Gift of an Ordinary Day).



Blessings to you and your families on this day of thanks. Let's keep our days of thanks going throughout the entire year. Write down the things you are thankful for and go back and revisit your list. You'll be amazed at how you view the world.



Today I Am Thankful For:



1. family flying in safely

2. hearing my little one breathing as he is snuggled under the covers

3. rest

4. new cameras

5. a treasured new book The Gift of An Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison

Our ultimate reward

Had a scare this weekend. My husband had to go to the emergency room. He is a diabetic that has controlled his diabetes through diet and medication for several years, but now it seems as if he may need to go on insulin.

He was not feeling great and found out that his sugar was extremely high.

When you have someone (or you are) in the hospital you start to think about life ending. I've been doing that a lot as I've gotten into my "forties." I always have assumed that I would be the one to "go first" because I can't imagine my life without my husband. I just adore him.

To see my husband sick just scares me. He's doing great now but these things happen and make us think about our mortality. Sometimes I find myself thinking about what I would do if my husband passed away. Where would I live, what about the kids, etc. It's crazy thinking but I think part of that thinking is Satan getting his hands on me.

What I should be thinking about is what my ultimate reward will be when I die! I will get to spend eternity at the feet of Jesus. It's time to not be scared of death but to prepare in our hearts for the day that we will meet God.

I lack quite a bit of wisdom where death is concerned. I pray that God give me the heart and soul to prepare for it.

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12



Today I Am Thankful For:

1. choclate milk
2. an organized coat closet
3. a clean fridge
4. modems
5. possibilities

Surprises

It touches my heart when someone thinks of my boys. Yesterday, one of our church members brought me a Lightning McQueen bag filled with goodies (from her little grandson) for my Christian. Since he'd been in the hospital, they had been thinking of him and made him a goodie bag. He loved it!

When we got home, a few hours later, there was a package at the door. For my Lance. It was from his old Sunday school teacher at our previous church. She made him his favorite...Snickerdoodles!

I was so touched and overwhelmed at the love shown to my children yesterday. A couple of nice acts that made each of them feel special.

Have you gone out of your way lately to touch someone's life? It's the simple things that often mean the most.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the morning chill
2. a filthy house
3. having time to take off
4. road trips
5. peace

Plans

Where is the best place to catch a virus? The hospital. I've been dealing with one for a few days in addition to living around Christian's schedule of IV antibiotics(6am and 6 pm until Thanksgiving...a 2 hour infusion).

It's just one of those things...when you "plan" things just happen.

I'm looking forward to a getaway to Santa Fe over Thanksgiving. And then we will be preparing for the biggest birthday party of the year!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. dry toast
2. a messy desk
3. a wonderful babysitter
4. paperweights
5. space heaters

Hospital Moments

My Christian is in the hospital, again. He has an infection in his implanted port. It's been a weekend of keeping my three year old entertained while being alone in the hospital.

When you are in the hospital out of your hometown you have to manuever well. Did I pack enough clothes, since I'm not sure how long we'll be staying? Can I sneak down fast enough to get something to eat? Do I have enough time to run across the floor to wash my clothes? And of course, am I fast enough to get the bucket to him when he gets sick?

Another few, crazy days of hospital living. But through all the craziness we had some great moments. Moments that will never be taken away. Moments that may have not happened at home.

We spend lots of time looking out of the big window in our room that overlooks the university campus talking about the snow on the mountains, the colors of the leaves, the birds, the airplanes and the cars below. We get lost in our conversations.

When I put Christian to sleep, we were lying together in his bed looking at the ceiling. I had brought his nightlight, which shines the moon and stars on the ceiling. We had our quiet time of talking about the stars and "Luna." A quiet, precious moment in the craziness of the hospital.

As I have been getting stressed this evening, I hang onto those moments. I hang onto the smile from across the room that my sweet son flashes as he is watching "Thomas." And I smile at the lone choo choo on the windowsill that my thirteen year old once called his own.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. The Ronald McDonald House
2. crushed ice
3. Skype
4. straws
5. choo choos

"I'm Not Who I Was"

"God, thank you for not letting me be who I used to be."

Over the past eight years my life has taken a huge turn. My faith strengthened, I learned a lot about myself and my direction in life completely changed. I was a teacher living in suburbia trying to keep up and now I have a job that allows me to work from home, with a husband who is a pastor (in an itinerant system), and I have a new found passion for preaching God's word.

Back then I told someone, who I used to be close to, that they were "dead to me." Those words haunt me. Satan had his grip on me then in a very bad time in my life.

It's amazing how much freedom I feel now! I can never take those words back and I don't think that person will ever forgive me, all I can do is pray for them, but I know I'm not who I was, and I thank God for that!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. volunteering with the local band program
2. reed diffusers
3. door prizes
4. 1/2 days off
5. breakfast at the local diner

Perspective

The things I worry about...
my weight
money
exercising
car problems
my house not being clean enough
what I want to be when I grow up.

Doesn't the Bible clearly tell us a few things about worry?

In Philippians 4:6 we are commanded "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

All of our needs are to be brought to God rather than keep to ourselves in worry.

In 1 Peter 5:7, we are instructed to “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” God does not want us to carry around the weight of problems and burdens. In this verse, God is telling us to give Him all of our worries and concerns. The God wants to take on our problems because He cares for us. God is concerned about everything that happens to us. No worry is too big or too small for His attention. When we give God our problems, He promises to give us the peace which transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

I recently heard about a woman who is battling cancer. She had lung cancer which has now spread to her brain. She has five children and she is 41 years old. 41. That's my age. I can't begin to imagine what she is dealing with. She's fighting for her life and I am struggling to figure out what the next right thing to do is.

Yes, I believe we all have our struggles and I am not trying to make light of what anyone deals with just because it is not a life threatening illness, but I think it is important that we put our lives into perspective. There is always someone dealing with something huge - probably bigger than anything in our own lives.

I know my Christian's chemo is a big deal, but I have also put it into perspective. I know that the children around him in the infusion suite are also dealing with huge doses compared to my son and they have their struggles, but it doesn't make ours any less important. We just have to give everything over to God and know that His will is being done.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. muffins
2. the Nomads
3. new windows
4. dust
5. flash drives

Doubt

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19 (NIV)


Why do we let doubt even creep in to our minds?

I wish I could say that the above verse is on my heart all of the time, but often times, I begin to worry about things. "Will the shop find out what's wrong with my vehicle, will Christian's chemo have a good result when it's all over, will we stay in our current pastorate longer than a year..."

I know I could worry myself sick about everything, but then I'll be missing out on something really important...LIFE! Satan works hard at getting us when we are down. Even while things are going along great and we have that split second of wonder and doubt, Satan works his way in to destroy the good in our lives.

We have to keep our priorities in check...keep all of the important things on our list active in all that we do. We have to remember that doubt can destroy.

"I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." -Psalm 16:7-8 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. direct deposit
2. rental cars
3. phone cords
4. bookmarks
5. journaling

Seeds

We have started a new fall tradition...roasting pumpkin seeds. I went to my friend, T's, the other afternoon and she was roasting pumpkin seeds. She cleaned them,

seasoned them with garlic salt...


and roasted them in the oven.



They are delicious!

Needless to say, my oldest and I carved our pumpkins and did the same.

It's a great new tradition and we have the chance to do something really special...redeem our pumpkins!

Think about it. What do you do with the guts of your pumpkin? By taking the seeds and using them for something good, we have redeemed what our pumpkins can be. Not are they only decorations, but we use them for a great treat.

It's just like how God works. He takes us as we are, uses every part of us, and redeems us. He takes the yucky parts of us, like our pumpkins, and loves us and uses us in all things.

Pretty cool, don't you think?

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new traditions
2. a day in the kitchen
3. houseguests
4. new friends (C and C)
5. small town kindness

Casting our Burdens

Right when things seem to be going well...our schedules, finances, medical issues...something happens to put a "kink" into what we consider living life well.

Isn't that normally what happens? Everything moves along great and the minute you get complacent "BAM" reality hits.

You know, something like a major repair that is needed on your house, a car that dies and has not hope of resarting (buying a new car), a big health issue that will take many tests and trips to the hospital with lots of waiting...

I believe Satan works on many levels. He finds his way into our minds when we begin to doubt ourselves, when things begin to go wrong at school and/or work, and when relationships begin to fail.

Our natural inclination is to worry ourselves sick! But if we truly know that God is in control of every aspect of our life, we will give up even the most mundane of worries that can eat us up.


“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
-Matthew 11:28-30

When has God shown up in a huge way when you cast all your burdens on Him?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. birthday cards
2. new calendars
3. carving pumpkins
4. hot soup on a cold night
5. a table filled with papers

Comfort

I would imagine most of you feel a great comfort when you get home. You slip off your shoes, get into comfy clothes, put on your slippers and you are in a safe haven.

There are many places where we feel that kind of comfort. For my boys, it is also at our church where they feel comfort. The spend quite a bit of time after school hanging out until me (I office out of the church) and my husband are done for the day.

At any given spot in the church you may see this...


It's another home away from home. I'm so glad they are comfortable being "Pastor's Kids." :)

God has led us on an amazing journey. We both were teachers living in suburbia trying to do the "right things" and God plucked us out of our situation to go and follow Him. We went to the desert of New Mexico and have ended up in a small, eclectic town neary. We continue to follow and listen.

What has He asked of you lately?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. memory cards
2. "shuffle" on my iPod
3. Pez dispensers
4. winter finally arriving
5. flashlights

Merry Christmas??

I had a great experience this weekend. I went to a ladies retreat at Elephant Butte Inn, which is our neighboring town on the lake (it is a beautiful place). Janet Drez (Octopus Faith), was our guest speaker from Arizona.

The retreat was entitled, "Christmas Through the Eyes of A Child." She walked us through anticipating the Christmas season. Sounds funny to be talking about Christmas in October, but before we blink our eyes the season will be upon us.

I always get overwhelmed with the holiday season. Actually, Thanksgiving is my favorite, but I feel as if I have to do Christmas "right" like a family member who I used to be close with always did. You know, the "Martha Stewart" kind of Christmas.

But that is not me and never will be. I just know that I will continue to focus on why we celebrate Christmas. Like Janet said this weekend, it's the biggest birthday party of the year!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new friends
2. afternoon naps
3. paper shredderws
4. a new bible study (The Reason We Speak)
5. date night!

Time

Time.

We are always short of time.

"If only I had a few more hours in the day..."

"If only I had a few extra weeks before the holidays actually arrived..."

"If only I had a few more months of my child being an infant..."

We could go on and on about "needing" more time.

I had a realization this past weekend as I attending the Sangre de Oro Family Education Weekend (bleeding disorder community in New Mexico). I looked around and there were lots of young parents and lots of older adults, but no one my age (early 40's).

It was strange. I mean, I guess I am really getting older and am not a "young parent" anymore. I feel like one...but I'm not.

I remember my mom at the age I am at. She was diagnosed with diabetes and her health started to deteriorate. She seemed so much older than I feel right now.

But something happened this weekend that definitely made me feel older.

When I did this...my eyeliner went on so much easier...



Have you had that moment where you accepted the fact that time was marching on?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a new doctor
2. hearing good things about my husband's ministry
3. fat envelopes
4. having the week off from taking Christian to chemo
5. new folders

Vacation?

Have you ever taken a trip to Wal-Mart alone and felt like it was a vacation?

It's pretty sad, but can be an enjoyable outing when you have the chance to go sans kids.

This afternoon was filled with work but my mind was already preparing to take Christian to Albuquerque for his chemo treatment. My husband was extremely busy at church, the kids were keeping themselves amused at church and then it happened...Christian had an "accident." The kind where the only remedy is to strip and take a bath.

The joys of motherhood...a three year old is always an adventure. In our instance the "two's" were no problem, it's the "three's" that have been a challenge!

I am in a season of trying to ignite my passion again. School has not done it for me at all. Work, well, it's work. I'm really good at it, but I am looking for more.

A great opportunity has come my way through my work and I am hoping that it pans out to give me more of a challenge, but only time will tell.

I know, deep in my heart, that my mission right now is to keep the home fires burning while my husband finishes seminary. He is taking 14 hours and serving a church! It's crazy! I know that the only way he is doing it is by God's grace.

This time next year, seminary will be over and we can enjoy ministering without that over our heads. It's difficult, but will definitely be worth it.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. labels
2. Ibuprofen
3. surprise checks in the mail
4. curling irons
5. Wal-Mart

Being Unsettled

We've been in T or C since mid August and for the the most part we are settled.

My house is unpacked, my office at church is unpacked, the kids rooms are done, so why am I so unsettled?

Before we moved, I had a great routine. I would get up early, have my quiet time, read my Bible, blog, then it would be time for everyone to get up. I would help get the kids to school, go to the office, go to the gym and back home for the evening.

My quiet time is not regular and there is no gym here so I have to really make the effort to exercise and it just hasn't happened.

With those two things missing from my life, I am unsettled, and I just don't "feel" well.

Quiet time nurtures our heart and soul. Our relationship with God strengthens.

Exercise nurtures our physical body and we just downright feel better when we take care of ourselves.

I use so many excuses to not take care of myself..."The kids....my work...the church...etc., etc." We have to put ourselves on top of our list. If we can't take care of ourselves and be happy, no one around us will be happy either.

I am making a commitment to my morning quiet time. I felt so great when it was a regular thing in my life.

I am also going to make a commitment to get some exercise. I had been feeling better than I had in years. It also helped keep my depression in check.

Here's to new commitments and "resolutions"! It doesn't have to be January 1st to start fresh!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. business cards
2. label makers
3. window paint
4. ethernet cables
5. shiny fingernails

The Art of Oozing

I was recently walking through a Hallmark store and saw a wonderful saying.


"Let no one ever come to you wihout leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." Mother Teresa

If that is not the epitome of "oozing" I don't know what is!

Isn't that what we should want? To have people leave us and feel good?

What is it about ourselves that leaves that impression on people? I think it has to do with your heart. The love you have to share. The relationship you have with Christ that comes out of you.

The hard part is to practice the art of oozing with everyone, not just the select few.

We have to leave our judgements behind. We don't know what it is like to walk in someone else's shoes, so we have to be sensitive to their feelings.

We have to be considerate to all, even those that may not "get it." You know, the ones who catch you at church or the store and just start talking and you are walking away in a hurry? We must ooze the light of Christ with them as well.

I want to be that person. The one that loves all. That does not judge. That treats everyone fairly.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. dog hair
2. homemade soup
3. pedicures
4. birthday cards
5. stained glass

Waiting

How much of our life is spent waiting?

Waiting to graduate.

Waiting for your wedding day.

Waiting for the pregnancy test.

Waiting for a baby to grow in your womb.

Waiting for your kids after their first day of school.

Waiting in the doctor's office for a diagnosis.

Waiting.

Christian and I sit and wait in his hospital room. We are waiting on his chemo to come to the floor from the pharmacy.

I think the hardest thing about the hospital is the waiting. We wait on the nurse, the doctor to come by, medications to be mixed, to be discharged...the list goes on.

I think waiting teaches us many things.

To be patient - and wait for things to happen in the right time.

To love - sometimes we have to let our loved ones experience life on their own
terms in their own time and just love them where they are at.

To trust - and know that all things are in God's hands and there is nothing we can do to change His plan.

I think Alcoholics Anonymous has it right. We have to "Let Go and Let God." I think that says it all.

Everything in His time for His purpose.

"I waited patiently for the LORD, He turned to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hospital gowns
2. pillows
3. Dr. M
4. crackers
5. old, wood floors

A Special Day

My Dad passed away two years ago today. It's a very special day because forty one years ago today I was brought into this world, and it's the same day my Dad went home to be with the Lord.

It's a special day for both of us.

He went home after not being himself for several years and I know he wasn't happy. He missed my Mom, he missed being himself.

But I am so grateful for the years I had with him. The love he shared with my boys. That he was here to see my Christian and love on him. And for my boys to love him back.

Daddy was a quiet man. He was not one to hug or say "I love you," but even in his last days when he reached his arm out to me to touch me, that meant the world to me.

The last day I spent with Daddy it was just the two of us in his hospice room. The day before, my husband and oldest son and I made a CD of music for him. We sang, played our instruments and gave him our gift of music one last time. After playing our music I prayed over him and read scripture to him.

It was a very special time that I am grateful for. I was able to say goodbye and love him well.

Gonzalo Campos was my Daddy. I called him "Dude." I don't know where that came from but it stuck.

I miss him.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. good memories
2. new friends
3. clean bathrooms
4. my Swiffer Vac
5. my "Dude"

A New Appreciation

I have an new "appreciation", if you will, for people that are on a treatment of chemotherapy. People with cancer that take huge doses that make them extremely ill, and so many other conditions that warrant chemotherapy.

We hear of people with cancer and chemo and I think, think nothing of it, until it touches us personally. It's horrible.

"Christian" had his first round of chemo (a very small dose in relation to so many other folks) and it was pretty scary at first. About half an hour in he started to break out, his ears were red, his cheeks flushed and shortly after that he had severe chills and fever. The chills scared me the most.

Once the doctor stopped everything, gave him steroids and his fever subsided the treatment began again, with no problems. It was amazing. I watched him all night. It was like watching water boil.

So, the treatment has begun. We go on Friday's for the next three weeks, take four weeks off, go on for four weeks again…it's going to be a long year, but we continue to pray that the treatment will have been well worth it for "Christian."

As a mom, we try to protect our children. We teach them to hold hands, look both ways before crossing the street, not to talk to strangers, and the list goes on. When our hands are tied, such as medical issues, it's not a great feeling. You put your child in the hands of the doctors and trust that they know what they are doing. That they will take care of your child as if he/she was their own.

The truth is, our children, well, all of us, are in the hands of the Great Physician. All things happen under his care.

Today I Am Thankful for:

1. Benadryl
2. Newly potted plants
3. A freshly mowed yard
4. Diet Cherry Syrup
5. Overnight packages (UPS)

Does it really make us stronger?

As a mom we endure quite a bit of pain. The obvious, childbirth, watching our newborns turn into toddlers, the first day of Kindergarten, their first love breaking their heart, the drivers license, college and the list goes on.

When you have a child with a chronic medical condition, it's different. There's always something. In our journey with hemophilia, we have been led to something new for us, chemotherapy. My three year old has an inhibitor, a condition that does not allow his factor to work. This chemotherapy has proven to get rid of inhibitors.

That's where we are. At the hosptial about to start a four week round of chemo. It's scary.

You've heard the expression, "that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Well sometimes I wonder. My strength is really being tested right now.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. choo choo books
2. granola bars
3. socks with holes
4. wireless internet
5. sunflower seeds

Changing course

Sometimes you think you are following "the plan." You're going where God is leading you, doing the things you are meant to do, when all of a sudden things just don't work the way you thought they would.

Could it be that you are a step ahead of where God wants you to be? That maybe you have to step back and catch up before moving on?

It's like being a mom. You cook, clean, wash clothes, tote the kids where they need to be and you sometimes ask, "Is this it? Is this all I should be doing?" When in fact it is the greatest, most difficult and rewarding job in the world. Not everyone gets to do it.

Maybe it is what I need to be focusing on instead of wondering "What next?"

Where are you at? Wondering or satisfied?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. carpet cleaner
2. old books
3. invitations
4. envelopes
5. peaches

It's not always easy

My "thing" has always been that I try to "ooze" the light of Christ in all that I do. I think you'll agree with me that it is not always the easiest.

The part of "oozing" that has been so difficult lately has been letting the light of Christ fill my heart for myself. The enemy sneaks in and can extinguish that light in a matter of seconds.

"School is too hard. I'm too old. I'm not good enough. I made a big mistake. I'm not a good enough parent." And the list goes on.

Not only do we need to try and let His light shine in our actions to others, but we need to let His light fill our hearts and souls for ourselves.

I have always had a hard time putting myself first, but I know that God wants us to be happy and fulfilled. Sometimes it takes putting ourselves first so that we can be good to our loved ones.

What are you doing to put yourself first and let Christ's love shine in you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. sweatshirts
2. scotch tape
3. dogs that dream
4. cold toes
5. invitations

The things we do...

I have to step out of my comfort zone tonight...I have to work the "50/50" at the high school football game.

The band boosters sponsor the 50/50 at home games. A pair of boosters walks around the crowd and sells raffle tickets, $1 each or 6 for $5. The purchaser receives a lollipop for each dollar spent. Right before halftime the winning number is announced and they win half the money collected and the other half goes to the band boosters! Only in small town America can you "gamble" on school property! (It's not "gambling" because each person is "purchasing" a lollipop.)

Ah, small town living... :) Anyway, I am one of the folks walking around tonight selling tickets. The things we do to support our children!

All in the name of love.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a losing football team (God Bless Them!)

2. my son belonging to a group (Band)

3. a cool breeze

4. music

5. feeling needed and loved

Simple Delights

1. $3.25 breakfast special

2. Friday night high school football (the losing team)

3. sand between little toes

4. the waitress bringing your drink order before you ask

5. homemade popcorn

6. "across town" takes five minutes (with traffic)

7. church steeples

8. hearing the door open "Daddy's home!"

9. brand new pencils

10. Sonic Happy Hour

What are your simple delights today?

Date Night

My hubby and I have reinstated "date night." We have started a new tradition on Sunday nights at 9 pm (after my little one has gone to bed). We go to the Riverbend for a "soak." Our new town is known for its natural hot springs. They are all over town. (Our town, Truth or Consequences, used to be "Hot Springs, NM." The old game show had a contest for a town to change their name, and they did!)

The place we frequent overlooks the Rio Grande. The stars and moon are fantastic! They seem close enough to reach out and grab from the sky. We take this time to relax and reconnect.

The funny thing is, that I find it difficult to slow down. Difficult to relax and getaway (it's only 5 minutes from the kids). Even in a small town, life moves so fast.

Have you stopped to enjoy the loved ones around you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. 105 degree water
2. the sky
3. the sound of running water
4. brand new fingernail polish
5. Fruit Roll Ups

Feels Like Home

We have been in our new home (the parsonage) for just over a month. I am happy to report that all the boxes are gone! This house is smaller than our previous home, so I was not able to unpack everything. Things like my pretty angels and all of my family pictures. I had to downsize. And you know what I have felt? As if we have lived here for years. Our house truly feels like home.

My second house in Houston was a beautiful 3 bed, 2 1/2 bath, 2 story home. We lived there for over 6 years and it never felt as much like home as the parsonage does.

We have stepped out in faith in outrageous ways in the past 3 years and I believe God is telling us that we are indeed listening and following his call.

It's a wonderful, exciting and humbling feeling to know that you are indeed following Christ.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. downsizing
2. small closets
3. fresh paint
4. black lights
5. peanuts

Language

I have a Bachelor's of Music Education degree. The language of "education" is natural to me. Now that I work in the healthcare industry, the language of "healthcare" has become natural to me as well.

I started seminary last week. My first class in 20 years! The language of theology is not natural to me. I am reading and re-reading the same things over and over again just for basic comprehension! Needless to say, it has humbled me.

But something ugly has resurfaced with a vengence...DOUBT. That doubt can be a killer. It can squeeze the life right out of you. It can make all of the good you have done in your life just disappear within seconds. In times of doubt we have to rely on the Sword of the Spirit - the Word of God. When all else fails, and I feel empty, I go back to Philippians 4:13,

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

It is a piece of the word that speaks a mountain of truth.

What scripture gives you hope? What scripture chases away doubt?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. fantastic colleagues
2. good haircutsw
3. homemade cherry Cokes
4. seeing the Earth from an airplane
5. clouds

I'm so in the right place

Our recent move happened very quickly. Within a two week time period, Joe was offered his appointment and we moved. Two weeks!

I never doubted the move, but this weekend I was assured that we were in the right place.

I took the boys and my mother-in-law (Joe was working an Emmaus walk) to the Balloon Regatta at the lake. We got up early, brought along our coffee and donuts and sat and watched the baloons fill up and take off at sunrise. It was astounding!





Where else in the world could this picture be taken?



I also preached for the first time in our new church. I wasn't nervous, and when I looked out at the congregation, I truly felt like I was at home.

We are so blessed.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. online classes
2. new tablecloths
3. folding chairs
4. lake water
5. love

Losing Yourself

Oozing can be difficult. As a preachers wife, I feel like I am always having to be "on." I office out of our church so I am part of the daily comings and goings of folks as they come in. I am not just working my regular job but I am seen as the pastors wife so there are certain expectations. What I am realizing is that it can be very easy to lose who you are.

I want to be an oozer. I want nothing more than for the light of Christ to shine through all of my actions. Whether I am greeting people on Sunday mornings or cleaning toilets at the church, I want for that light to flow through me. But while you are fulfilling the roles you play everyday, you can lose yourself and the reasons for why you do what you do.

God knows each of us. He knows our hearts. He knows our struggles and our victories.

All we do should be pleasing to the Lord.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. sleeping dogs
2. scotch tape
3. Facebook friends
4. cold fingers
5. webcams

A Little Lost

I have been a little lost. What is next? I've made a new home in our first parsonage, even made some friends, but what is next?

I start my seminary class today (I'm only taking 2 hours this first semester since I've not been in school for 20 years) and I am scared and excited. I want to know more, so here starts the journey.

I know Philippians 4:13 and Jeremiah 29:11, sometimes I just wish I knew what God had in store for me next.

When I think back to when I married Joe and I would dream about my future, it never looked like this! And I thank God that it isn't! I'm sure I gave God a good belly laugh when he saw my "plans for the future." They just were not what was destined for me.

I am so grateful.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new friends
2. hot tea
3. the changing of the seasons
4. routine
5. new adventures

It's just amazing...

It's just amazing.

Just over a month ago we were robbed. It seems life an eternity has passed. Soon after, we received the call that moved us to T or C (Truth or Consequences) and almost three weeks later, in our new town, we feel as if we have been here forever.

It's just amazing.

We have also been blessed with two new friends, T and B. They are our age (in a retirement community) who are just two of the coolest people we've ever met. I have always believed that God sends us angels while we are here on earth, to help us get through difficult times. And again, here are two of them.

When we moved to Deming, he sent us K and R. We would have been lost without them! Especially since we were living in the mountains with a propane tank, well, and swamp cooler! They called us "Oliver and Lisa!" They have also moved to another town, but we consider them very special and dear friends. My angels in Deming.

It's just amazing. God is amazing.

Think about it...you just may be someone's angel here on earth. Or do you have one? Have you shown them some appreciation? Do they know how much they mean to you? Take the time to celebrate them. Love them. Thank God for them.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. bottled water
2. air freshner
3. menus
4. wood floors
5. angels

Satisfaction

I've never been called to go on a mission trip or to help a youth group build houses. You know what I mean? That form of ministry is not where my gifts are strongest.

This past weekend, along with a couple of new friends at our new church, we remodeled the entry of our church, gave the sanctuary a deep cleaning, decluttered a hallway filled with junky cabinets and cleaned bathrooms.

It was the most rewarding day I've had in a long time.

To stand back and see how your work has made a difference all in the name of the Lord.

In my new role as the pastor's wife, I am seeing things much differently. I feel as if I am working with my husband. It is really exciting. Anything I can do to help our congregation have a closer relationship with God, to worship freely, to hear the message, I am ready for.

"The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. no boxes in my living room!
2. our storage shed
3. pumpkin candles
4. shredders
5. our new friends, B and T

If You Would Have Told Me....

If you would have told me that I could pack a house and move in less than two weeks...I would have told you that you were a nut.

If you would have told me that I could find a caring, loving lady to watch my three year old in a small town (in less than two weeks)...I would not have believed you.

If you would have told me that we would be loved by a new church family as much as our previous church family...I would never even have dreamed it.

If you would have told me that Satan himself would make himself known throughout all of this........well, I had forgotten how he works.

I melted down on Saturday. It all hit me. I had moved. I had moved! Oh, my goodness!

I am so glad things have settled down, many, many, many boxes have been unpacked and my oldest likes his new school.

Thank you for your prayers.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. empty boxes
2. the new Walmart
3. an open kitchen
4. our "new" mattress
5. keeping in touch with friends

Packing.....

Sorry I've not been around. My days are filled with work and my nights with packing. We load up the trucks on Friday so we are down to the wire. I can't believe things are happening so fast! We are really excited.

I'll be back on a more regular basis soon.

Please pray for us to have a successful move.

Blessings!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Ibuprofen
2. boxes
3. friends that help with anything and everything
4. rolling chairs
5. new adventures

God is so Good

A week ago my family was robbed and it has literally been a day by day existence for us. It's a horrible thing to experience, and it takes time to come to an understanding of what really happened.

Then, God shows up in an amazing way. My husband received a call (one week after the robbery) and was offered his first position as Pastor to the UMC in Truth or Consequences, NM!
What a blessing! Becoming a Pastor is Joe's dream and why he is in school. We never thought he would get a pastorate before he finished school, but here it is!

He will preach in T or C for the first time on August 16th! We have two weeks to get it in gear and move.

One huge blessing is that we will only be 2 hours away from Albuquerque rather than 3 1/2. This means we can get the boys to the hematologist faster. It will definitely help when we have to get Christian in for weekly visits in September. (I'll talk more about that later).

I hope you will join me in praying for our family as we step out in faith into where God is leading us and to especially pray for our children. It is always hardest on the children.

One of my favorite Psalms says it all:

"The Lord had done great things for us and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my Facebook friends
2. feeling better from a weekend of being horribly sick
3. the prospect of a fresh start
4. my Deming church home
5. boxes

Robbed

I am not in a good place. On our way back from Houston, we stopped to eat in El Paso and our car was broken into. Our laptops and my purse were stolen. It's just a sickening feeling.

You hear of people saying "Oh, you feel so violated." Well, it's true. You don't understand that until it happens to you.

It sounds silly, but when you have your life on your laptop and in your wallet, and you know it's in someone else's hands, it's just creepy. (Even if everything is password protected).

I have a daily calendar from the "Touched By An Angel" series that has a saying from the show for each day. When I picked it up to catch up, the saying read...

"Who you are isn't measured by what's in your wallet, but by what's in your soul."

Isn't that the truth? I mean, no, it's a real pain to close bank accounts, file police reports, and insurance, but at least when you have the resources, you are blessed to be able to replace things.

My prayer is that whomever gets into my laptop will see that Christ was important to its original owner. Maybe they will want to know more about Him.

I know all things happen for reasons unknown to us, I just hope that my things will be a blessing to someone in the end.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. My son's "junker laptop"
2. insurance
3. a night of bowling
4. pizza
5. my family being safe

New Every Morning

A brand, new spiral notebook (because I need another brand, new spiral notebook). A fresh start. A clean slate. It's the notion that nothing bad from your past is taken into account. Today is a new day.

"God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left!"
Lamentations 3:22-24 The Message

What do we do with a "clean slate?" Do we truly start over every day? I can easily equate this with my never ending self care (do you notice I didn't just say D-I-E-T-?). If my present day ends in overeating or not exercising...there's always tomorrow. Right?

If we are blessed enough to wake up yet another day, then God is not through with us yet. Do we truly use that next day to the best of our ability or do we live in the mistakes of our past? I tend to not let go. I beat myself up and in the bludgeoning I am missing out. Missing out on the best life that God has blessed me with. Missing out on being a blessing not just to myself, but to others. And, being a blessing to Him.

What is holding you back from accepting the gift of a new day filled with grace?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Origins Ginger Souffle
2. straws
3. former students
4. a great mattress
5. a dead laptop

Comparisons

Comparisons can eat you alive.

As a woman in this day and age, we so often look at the women in the public eye and start to compare ourselves to images that are impossible to attain. Airbrushed images of models, way too skinny women, and way too perfect hair. It never ends.

I know that God loves me the way I am right at this moment. He doesn't make mistakes.

Have you ever been in public and noticed someone who may not be dressed to "your standard" or who was extremely overweight? Or maybe even someone who looked "perfect" and you start to pass judgement?

I caught myself doing that recently. Why is it that we do that? "At least I am thinner than she is.....I would never wear that in public, she looks terrible....How can they dress their children that way?" And the vile words can go on and on.

I think Satan just knows how to get the best of us all the time. He knows our weaknesses and knows where we feel of the least worth.

The truth is, God loves the woman who is extremely overweight...He loves the woman who is scantily dressed with tatoos covering her body...He loves me, the sinner, who feels of little worth and knows when I am criticizing that I am hurting inside.

"Father, God, forgive me for comparing and criticizing. I want to be an oozer and I fall short of the mark daily. I want your love to shine through me in all that I do. I want to have a heart that will give everything up in the name of love and grace. Amen"

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. rain
2. my extra weight
3. stepping "out of the box"
4. family
5. the quiet of a library

Joy

Joy - "the emotion evoked by well being, success or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires"

Today I experienced an amazing amount of joy through the eyes of my three year old.

We are visiting my mother-in-law in Houston and we took off on an adventure to the Aquarium. We had a wonderful lunch surrounded by large aquariums filled with every kind of fish you could imagine. Our day continued with a train ride, carousel ride, adventure through a shark tank and finished with time in the dancing waters.



I was able to ignore the heat and humidity (I am soooo acclimated to the dry desert), the sweat dripping down my face, the annoying man spraying everyone waiting in line with a water gun and the long lines to see life through the eyes of my little one.




The ant that was crawling on the ground while we were waiting in line, the big, green eel in the fish tank, the excitement of the train whistle...it was joyous! I was able, for the first time in a long time, to ignore the trappings of everyday life and just enjoy the moments.

We get so caught up in doing. Do we stop long enough to enjoy?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. fish
2. excitement
3. ice cream
4. humidity
5. a cool shower

Me, Myself & Lies

I am working through a great study called "Me, Myself & Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild.

Today's lesson was just hard hitting for me.

Jennifer's whole premise of the book is about builing our "thought closet" to represent the truths we hold of ourselves, not the negatives.

Her example today was great.

"You spot a wad of fabric near a trash can. As you approach, the stench accosts you! Even so, you pick up the nasty fabric and discover it's a woman's blouse. Hmm, you think, I wear blouses! I wouldn't have chosen this one, but here it is...So you hang it by your favorite jeans and think, I don't like this, but it's here, so I guess I'll keep it. Now the whole closet reeks and your clean, lovely clothes get dirty as you shove it in place. It has no value; but now it's yours." (from "Me, Myself & Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild)

Isn't that true of what we think of ourselves? One, stinky, untruth can destroy the library of good things that we think of ourself. "Library of good things?" you say? That's where we have to start. We often find it hard to say good, truthful things of ourselves.

Make a list. "I am....." Don't let the one, ugly thought come in and destroy your words. Don't say, "I am fat, I am ugly, I am not smart."

Remember, God made us the way we are and loves us right at this very moment, the way we are!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Bible Study
2. barking dogs
3. renewed passion
4. my hubby not traveling again until September!
5. preparing to send my son to camp

We All Have Something

I mentioned in an earlier post that we all have "something" in our lives that we deal with. A sick child, a broken marriage, financial problems that seem to never go away, an ill parent, a job you don't necessarily love, or even a broken relationship.

I have two children that struggle with Hemophilia. My three year old struggles the most. Even this past weekend (following his week long stay in the hospital) he had a pretty bad ankle bleed. We infuse every 2 hours, then every four hours, so it never ends.

He has to be carried to the potty, he can't walk and he just doesn't understand why.

It breaks my heart and it is exhausting. Sometimes I think I can't go on...but I do with the strength God gives me.

I think back to what someone who used to be close to me said, "You shouldn't have another child, you can barely deal with the one you have."

Those words hurt deeply. For years I thought they were true until my suprise came 10years after my oldest was born! What a joy he has been. I can't imagine life without both of my boys, hemophilia and all.

How does that saying go, "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger." ??

I think the bottom line is that God is with us in all that we do. He is with us in every single detail of our lives. From the good to the ugly to the heart breaking.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my marriage to a wonderful man
2. ice cream cake
3. movie night
4. dirty carpet
5. hemophilia

This Time Tomorrow....

Ah, this time tomorrow I will be in my own bed, with my own pillow. We will have ordered pizza earlier in the evening (no plans to cook) and have sat on our sofa doing some major veggin out.

I am sitting in the quiet, darkness of a hospital room, knowing that all is well with my Christian. I've been second guessing myself quite a bit..."I should have had him checked out earlier, Why didn't I go with my gut instinct", and so on. It's just the enemy playing with my head and my heart.

I sit here looking out at the lights of Albuquerque thanking God that all is well and we are going home. That we don't have to do "chemo" treatments, or stay in the hospital to heal from an accident.

Everyone has "something" to deal with. I just thank God that He has given me the strength and love to live with hemophilia.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Cold Brew tea
2. hospital blankets
3. a night spent in a hotel
4. portable DVD players
5. fireworks