Presents

My mother-in-law, Ruby, is a gem.

We haven't seen her in several months due to the fact that she had knee surgery. She comes at least every six weeks for a visit. She can't stand to not see her grandsons :)

We saw her this weekend as she was coming through on her way to Colorado and she had a big bag for each of us. Bags filled with surprises! The only thing important to me is that she loves, adores and spoils my sons, but she goes the extra mile and spoils me and my husband too!

I had a big bag with a new leopard purse (you can never have too many leopard purses) some new sandals and a Longhorns t-shirt.

It made me feel so special.

When you do the giving for your family, because it's what a mom does, and someone surprises you and thinks enough about you to surprise you, it means the world. Especially when your parents are no longer here.

At one point in our lives Ruby and I could not be in the same room together. It was the stereotypical mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship.

My mother would get so angry with me and would tell me, "She is going to be around longer than me! You need to be nice!"

I know my mother is thrilled that Ruby and I have mended our ways and have such a good relationship. I am too.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. spontaneous trips to the lake
2. suitcase surprises
3. fresh broccoli
4. jugs of water
5. sunburns

He's Finished!

Three years ago, our family began a journey...seminary. But the kicker was that my husband had to travel to Denver once a week to get his degree. We live two hours from the airport, so traveling takes a big commitment. Especially once a week.

My husband has been called to ministry for as long as I've known him, it was just finally the right "time" for him to answer the Lord's call on his heart.

Tonight is the first night in three years that my dining room table is clear of books and a laptop.

No clicking of keys on the keyboard, except for my writing.

No airline to ticket to Denver, waiting.

And my husband has his graduation ring on :)

I adore him and admire him for the work he has done.



I've never seen someone commit so completely to what the Lord has asked of anyone.

Next Friday he will officially become a commissioned elder in the Methodist Church.

I just am blown away at how good God is.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. safe journies
2. rings
3. Burt's Bees Lotion
4. ironed clothes
5. Wii Fit

Contentment

A full pantry and freezer.

Gas in the car.

Money in savings.

Children laughing.

A full belly after a homecooked meal.

A comfortable bed.

Watching birds at the birdfeeder.

A happy spouse.

Reading a good book.

11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV)


What gives you a sense of contentment? Leave a comment!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. My husband's last day of seminary
2. Christian starting Pre-K in August
3. lunch dates
4. long distance girlfriends
5. new glasses

Timing

In less than a week I will have a high school freshman!



It absolutely blows my mind. I have friends my age that are already grandparents and my Christian is four!



Isn't it funny how God works in our lives?

I couldn't have imagined having Lance when I was right out of high school. I also couldn't have imagined having my Christian any earlier than I did. They were both at the right time.

It's all God's timing. He knows what is best for us.

Looking back on I can see God's hand in my life. Even in the sad times. If things would not have unfolded the way they have, I may not be in the place that I am in right now.

Losing my mother when I was a new mom, hemophilia both times, chemo, losing a close family relationship...all of these things have made me stronger and have strengthened my faith. I wouldn't change a thing about how things have happened.

When Lance was about four, I so badly wanted another child. We tried and tried and even had medical intervention. Nothing worked. But God was wanting us to wait. To wait for the time He ordained for Christian to be in our lives. I don't know what is in store for my boys, but I know it is going to be big:)

Have you wanted something so badly that you questioned God....you asked Him "Why not now?" And then later, seen why it wasn't the right time?


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. wind
2. water hoses
3. a clean car
4. bringing surprises to friends
5. dog breath

Out of the Box...the finale

If you get out of the box long enough....the box disappears!

When are you going to step out of the box? What are you going to do?


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. safe trip home from Albuquerque
2. speaking up for my son to our hematologist
3. frozen strawberries
4. Night Knockers....friends that kept ringing the doorbell till we caught them :)
5. Christian doing at great job at chemo today.

Out of the Box...continued

It's not just camp that is making me step "out of the box", but grad school is doing the same. I will be taking a class this summer that requires me to be in residence at Iliff in Denver for about a week.

A week on my own at school.

Another week away from my family.

A week of studying and continuing to work.

Can I do it? I've put it out there so there's no going back.

Someone said that if you don't put things "out there" and force yourself to stretch, you will never experience all that life has to offer you. Makes sense I think. I mean, let's face it, we're not getting younger. And I often think about my mom, who started getting sick at my age.

We only have one life to live and I think God wants us to cherish our time in this world and do all we are meant to do...not to be scared of trying something new.

I don't want another season to go by knowing that I could have done something differently and having let my fears get in my way.

What are you being called to do? What is holding you back?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. swamp coolers
2. puzzles
3. nail clippers
4. Kool Aid singles
5. roses

Out of the Box

"If you want to grow, you must be willing to change." Gail Sheehy

Change.

Stepping "out of the box."

It's scary.

In a few weeks I'll be stepping "out of the box" in a huge way. I am going to be a camp counselor at hemophilia camp in New Mexico. Something I have never done before. I heard the local chapter was needing another female counselor and God kept bringing it to my heart (you know how He does).

The camp experience has been amazing for my Lance. He has been attending the hemophilia camp (Camp Ailihpomeh) in Texas for the past several years and it has changed him. He learned how to self infuse and take control of his bleeding disorder and he also has stepped "out of the box" and done things he never did before...archery, horseback riding, socializing with other kids with the same health issues he has... It's been a fantastic experience for him.

I just hope I can be an asset to the kids I work with. I pray that God uses me to touch these kids lives in a positive way.

Are you doing anything that is making you move "outside of the box" this summer?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. ACE wraps
2. dinosaurs
3. hot dogs on the grill
4. plant food
5. my walking buddies "T" and "C"

Rough Week

It's been a rough week. Work is crazy (a good kind of crazy), my depression has been hitting me and I've been fighting it, and we are anxiously awaiting the end of my hubby's travels to Denver (Masters Degree) with 2 weeks left!

A lot of things going on but not much to say this week.

I'm taking the day off tomorrow to get some things done and breathe a little.

I'll be back next week.

Blessings to you all!


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. cosmetic samples
2. UPS deliveries
3. little, white t-shirts
4. green beans
5. painted toenails

My Mama

Mama always had a bank envelope in her purse...always with a $20 bill for whoever needed it.

If she didn't have a bit of makeup on, she grabbed the lipstick and took off!

When you were hungry you could always count on a great pork chop and tortilla.

You could always hear her slippers when she walked through the house.

We could laugh at absolutely nothing...and she wouldn't make a sound!

My nephews would always find a surprise in her purse.

You could always count on her a Daddy having breakfast on Sunday's at Champs', with a couple of empty chairs waiting to be filled.

Every night you could bet she would be on the phone with her best friend, just to check in, even though they worked together all day.

When I was getting big and pregnant, and running out of things to wear, she would magically show up with a new outfit for me...and the baby.

She loved my husband like her own son, adored my son for his first five weeks of life, and I miss holding her hand.

I can still feel her touch.

I love you, Mama, and I miss you.

Happy Mother's Day.

The Simple Things

I am working from my home office today, all the doors are open, I hear the birds singing and eating from the birdfeeder, there is not a cloud in the sky, the breeze is making its way through the house, I have my computer on Pandora.com on the Baroque station, glass of iced tea and working on my email.

What freedom!

It's the little things in life that make such a difference. Finding a sippy cup under the table tells me a little boy filled his tummy with milk, a spiral notebook with a pencil tells me my other son was drawing and expressing his creativity. The pile of books on my dining room table reminds me that in three weeks my husband will graduate with his Master of Divinity degree!

I love the things that surround me.

What surrounds you that brings you joy?

The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Psalm 126:3

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. rose buds
2. birdfeeders
3. a light breeze
4. band concerts
5. shadows

Accomplishment

I love the feeling you have after an afternoon of work in the yard. Since we've lived in New Mexico, we've not really had the opportunity to really "work" a yard (and it's very different compared to the climate in Houston). Our plan is to transform and pour some love into our yard at our parsonage. It has been neglected for several years....overgrown trees , plenty of dirt instead of grass...etc. We mowed and did a little planting Saturday...just some marigolds and rose bushes. It's amazing how a couple of small changes make such a big difference!

It's been hard in our first year of living in a parsonage. You feel like a "renter." What does it take to make it feel like your home? I think it's just investing yourself into where you are living and actually "living" in the present...not "worrying" about next years appointment and cherishing the time where you are at.

You know moving will happen but you can't let it consume you. Being in the itinerant system makes you feel like a gypsy sometimes (and we've only begun)! I am finding it to be a new challenge...to put down roots where we are called. As long as we are together as a family, where we are physically is a non-issue. It's just geography!

It's love that grounds us.

Love that fuels us.

Love that keeps us together (wasn't that a song....).

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. dirt
2. weeds
3. the smell of fresh cut grass
4. parades
5. little boy hugs

Making Himself Known

Last night, the Bible study group I've been leading ended for the semester. We studied "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World." It is a wonderful study. I highly recommend it.

But last night, we never left question #1! It was a powerful evening.

We talked about testimonies and my friend "J" shared a story involving the death of a family member. You see, God spoke to her through that difficult time and made Himself known in amazing ways. From carrying a card with Proverbs 3:5-6 in her wallet, to seeing it published the day her family member died, to a purse, and a bracelet with that same verse.....it was a crazy story of how God was telling her that He was with her.

Here's the kicker...another member of our class, "B", brought a little gift for everyone last night. You know, those cards you carry in your wallet with your name and a verse? Yep, you guessed it, "J's" card had Proverbs 3:5-6 on it!

Everyone was either crying or had the hair on their arms standing on end last night!

Isn't it cool when God shows up in amazing ways?

"J", this is for you!

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. testimonies
2. homemade cookies
3. thoughtfulness
4. 4 weeks left till my husband receives his MDiv!
5. moments

Perspective

Today is chemo day. Me and my Christian are in the infusion suite getting his treatment. I'll be honest...I'm getting so tired.

I was complaining to my husband about the chemo...."Why isn't it working faster? When are we going to be done? I really don't want to make the drive to Albuquerque."

When we come to the infusion suite, we have to wait in the playroom until we are ready to go back. In walks a little boy about 5 years old with a mask on, his jacket and hood covering his head. "Mom, can I take my mask off? he asks, "No, says Mom. He sits down to play, takes off his jacket and exposes his hairless head. A victim of cancer.

There is an attractive, young teenager who is here every time we are. He is on dialysis. He should be out chasing girls and playing ball (hopefully he is) but he has something pretty major to endure.

I know that the end of chemo is coming. My Christian has not lost his hair, rarely gets sick from the treatment and is always full of energy. We have nothing to complain about.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Janie - who plays the guitar and instruments for the children in the hospital
2. rice cakes
3. Fruit by the Foot
4. chocolate milk
5. maracas

The Only Person on Earth

I am preparing a sermon for next Sunday. My text is from the book of Ruth. It's a wonderful story and the love Ruth shows for Naomi is amazing. Ruth goes to a foreign land with Naomi, accepts her people, her homeland and her God as her own.

She gave everything up with no clue of what to expect in the future due to the love she had for her mother in law, Naomi.

Love.

The more I read and study, the more I see love shown in the Bible. I start to think about the love I have in my life...my husband, my sons...my family...it's overwhelming.

What is more overwhelming is that Jesus would have been willing to die on the cross if you or I were the only person on earth.

That's intense.

God sent his only son to die just for me and you to wipe the slate clean and forgive us of our sins. And it wasn't an "easy" death. It was horrific. When you think about what Jesus went through for us that, too, is overwhelming.

Do you realize how much the God of the universe loves you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. granola bars
2. webcams
3. speaker phones
4. paper clips
5. sugar free gum

Oozing a Day at a Time

I picked up the phone and had a really good conversation with a family member yesterday. We don't talk very often...no reason...but she adores my children and our entire family.

It was an "oozing" moment. I took the time, let my guard down and simply loved someone through a conversation. It felt really good and it changed the whole tone of my evening.

Something so simple as a phone call. What are others ways we can "ooze" everday?

Saying hello, opening a door, laughing with someone, looking at them in the eye at the checkout stand, being available.

There are so many ways we can ooze the light of Christ in our daily lives. It's not just about being in church on Sunday and doing all the "church" stuff. It's about taking all of that and making it appear through you in your everday activities in the real world.

I'm not talking about taking a Bible and shoving it at someone and telling them they are going to hell if they don't believe...it's the little things that really make a difference.

What are you going to do today to be more of an "oozer?"

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a fresh maicure/pedicure
2. my son's music
3. quick trips to Las Cruces
4. new sandals
5. possibilities

Happy Easter!

What a wonderful Easter Sunday! The church service was beautiful, the weather perfect, lunch with friends, lots of choclate bunnies and eggs to hunt, a delicious Sunday dinner and a soak to end the night. We couldn't have had a more perfect day.






"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. sugar free jello
2. lillies
3. Sam's Club
4. sandals
5. capri pants

Dreams

Do you ever have those dreams that when you wake up felt so incredibly real?

I've had a couple of those recently...about my mom.

My mom passed away when my Lance, who is 13, was five weeks old. It was a terrible time. I had a newborn, diagnosed with a bleeding disorder and my mother died. What was supposed to have been a joyful time in my life, was filled with pain and confusion.

The Lord led us through it. Even though I was angry with Him, He never left my side.

In this dream my mom came to visit me with my sister. Nothing particularly special happened in the dream, she was just with me. I felt her hug me.

I think God gives us these moments...to encourage us. Is that a crazy thought?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. lotion
2. invoices
3. possibilities
4. 8 trips left to Denver (before my hubby gets his MDiv!)
5. dreams

Doing Enough

I've always said that when I did become a pastor's wife I would never "put on" appearances. If I was hurting, I wouldn't hide it, if I was upset or sad, I would let it out, and so on. I never want to be a hindrance to my husband's ministry like I know a pastor's wife can be. But I find myself in an odd place.

I teach a Women's Bible study and produce the monthly church newsletter...that's it. As I sit and listen to the choir preparing for the Palm Sunday service, I feel pangs of guilt about not participating in the music groups (chasing after my four year old keeps me pretty busy).

I am looking forward to playing my English Horn on Good Friday and my oboe on Easter Sunday, but I want to do more. I've been searching to know what that "more" is.

I am in the process of applying to another seminary...Asbury was not the place for me. If all works out and I am accepted, I will be really busy :) Maybe it's the "more" that I have been searching for. I want to study and strengthen my knowledge of the Bible so that I can share His word.

Time will tell. I just need to be "still" and listen.

Have you been "still" lately?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. palms
2. a messy house
3. Hershey Kisses
4. eating "right"
5. old coloring books

Praise!

We just received wonderful news...Christian's blood work has come back and his inhibitor is 97.5! It has never been that low! We are waiting for it to get below 10 so we can start immune tolerance therapy so that he can use Factor 8, which is the clotting factor he is missing.

It's been a long road, but we are starting to see results. The chemo is working! It's actually working!

This makes those trips to the hospital so worth it. The packing, the overnight stays, the diet of hospital food....

All I can say is "Praise God!"

"Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation." Psalm 95:1

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. wonderful test results
2. new drinking glasses
3. ribbon
4. seeing old friends
5. reorganizing

God's Pleasure

I attended (and led music) at a women's retreat this past weekend. "Faith at the Crossroads" by Janet Drez. It was very good. I always go to these kind of events and hope to take away a nugget. Something that will stick with me...and I did.

Janet talked about the movie Chariots of Fire and how the man, who was the runner, talked to his sister about how when he ran he "felt God's pleasure."

That's what I've been searching for...what is it that I do that I "feel God's pleasure?"

What about you? I would love to hear from you! When do you feel God's pleasure?"

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the driving range
2. external hard drives
3. a clean camper
4. a few days off
5. sleeping in

Nice trip!

I still am stunned by what happened today.

As Christian and I were leaving daycare, I was holding him, and before I knew what happened, I tripped and we both went down...him head first, to the concrete!

He has a golf ball sized lump on the back of his head and it cut open. I was so scared. My husband met us at the hospital with factor, we got a CT scan and all is well. It could have been really bad.

Chronic medical condition or not, we all get complacent. Things move along without any fuss, our life becomes a bit "hum drum" even. Then it takes something to wake us up...something to snap us out of complacency.

That's what happened today.

What has snapped you out of your complacency?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. God being with my son
2. pink nail polish
3. leading worship
4. no broken bones
5. alarms

What is "Normal?"

Things are thumpin' along...Lance is doing homework, his Dad helping him out. Christian is building his train tracks in his room, the house is clean, everyone is fed...what more could a woman want?

Just when all seems calm, my Christian starts to limp...an ankle bleed. Well, I guess that's what our "normal" is.

Normal is a blood draw for Christian on Tuesday morning and chemo on Friday.

Normal is my Lance's iPod playing the latest on Broadway.

Normal is preparing to teach Bible Study on Tuesday evening.

Normal is my husband writing a paper for Seminary.

I love "normal" because our "normal" gives us unending laughter and joy. Despite the rough times, that is what is overwhelming...the love in our lives.

What does your "normal" look like?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my Pampered Chef pan
2. Maria, who comes to clean every other week:)
3. BBQ sauce
4. essay contests
5. peace lillies

A Privledge

What a privledge I had this weekend to speak to a group of parents in Montana about parenting and bleeding disorders. It was great! The audience participated and had great comments that were encouraging for each other (I was worried they wouldn't talk...they were spunky)!

Something happened in the middle of the presentation...I was standing there, going through my power point when all of a sudden I realized I wasn't that scared, freaked out new mom of a child with hemophilia anymore. Not anymore!

Boy have things happened in the past thirteen years.

It's amazing how God prepares us.

I believe those years ago as I was learning all the ins and outs of being a new mom to a child with hemophilia, He was preparing me for the day I would share my experiences with others.

It's an amazing feeling to know that God is using you.

I also believe you don't have to be doing something "huge" like presenting to a room of people or heading up a major corporation. He uses us everyday. In our roles of being parents and spouses...teachers and cheerleaders...equippers and encouragers.

How is God using you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. kind people
2. a cherished opportunity to speak
3. hotel coffee
4. fun purses
5. leggings

Gray

We had the shortest hospital stay ever! Less than 24 hours! Yes, it was an exhausting day, but we are home. My Christian has an infection in his port, but we are on the road to treating it and we are home!

There is something I noticed at the hospital. The parents of children who are admitted look "gray." They have a haze of grayness around them.

I ran into the dad of a child, in his sweats, with his Wendy's Biggie drink, walking to the nourishment room for ice. He just had a cloud around him.

I guess because I've been one of those parents more times than I care to remember that I've never noticed.

When you live at the hospital you live from the few changes of clothes you have (and wash regularly at the Ronald McDonald room), you sneak away when your child is asleep for food and drink, television becomes your friend (when the cartoons are not on), and you learn to wait.

My heart goes out to these parents. My prayers to each and every one of them.

It is hard to have a sick child.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my own bed
2. dollar store surprises
3. my bluetooth
4. lollipops
5. being home

Holed Up

Today has been a wonderful day. My Christian and I have been "holed up" in a hotel room in Albuquerque. He has an MRI in the morning, so we stayed over the weekend. My husband and Lance came up and we hung out and had a great time.

They left this morning, so he could go preach, and me and Christian have been on our own. His ankle needed a break so we have stayed in and had a nice day.

Reading magazines, coloring, playing choo choos, taking naps...sometimes you need those kind of days.

I try to not let my mind begin to worry about the MRI. I am insisting that I only be "concerned" with what they may find.

More to come.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Corn Nuts
2. the Olympics
3. clipping articles
4. coloring books
5. chunky crayons

Meltdown

Yesterday was not pretty.

My Christian had an ankle bleed Wednesday night, so he wasn't walking and I had to stay home to work on Thursday. I had to get both of us ready to travel to Albuquerque for his treatments Thursday evening and Friday.

My Lance is struggling in math.

My husband is stressed with school and being a pastor, so I have to bring balance to our lives.

Work is driving me crazy (too many projects and a presentation coming up). And I just could not focus.

I was in tears.

Everything seemed to be coming down all at once and I could not breathe.

We did make it to Albuquerqe. Treatment is going well.

I did raise the white flag and took off a couple of days at work.

My husband and Lance are coming up for the weekend since we have to stay for an MRI on Monday, so we can all go play!

I am breathing again.

The Lord never gives us more than we can handle. Why is it that we begin to doubt ourselves? Why do we let the worries of the world take over?

It's okay to have concerns, but worries...no.

What concerns do you have that take over your life?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. plums
2. standing my ground with the doctor
3. peanut butter crackers
4. Cheese Nips
5. familiar faces at the hospital

Oozing with purpose

As I am in my early forties, I have struggled with many things. I'll admit, I've had a bit of a midlife crisis. But the one thing I often question is, "What is my purpose in life?"

I've come up with many things:
to be a good mother
to be a good wife
to bring as much as I can to my job
to make sure my children are taken care of medically (hemophilia)
to support my husband in ministry
the list goes on.

But isn't the ultimate purpose we should all strive for the same? To bring glory to God in all that we do! To ooze the spirit of Christ in all of our comings and goings, to ooze through the words we use, the love we share. That should be the way we live our lives.

We will be good mothers and wives. Everything for the glory of God , even if we don't get the results we are looking for, our intent and passion to serve Christ will shine through.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my prayer journal
2. button down shirts
3. freshly, polished fingernails
4. grape juice
5. shined boots

Loneliness

"Loneliness can be God's call to fellowship with Him."

My mind is a dangerous neighborhood to walk by myself. You know what I mean? It's a great place for Satan to take root.

I was cleaning the kitchen, no one else at home, and I started to travel into some negative territory...my weitht, doubt, loneliness. Then I did something pretty great...I stopped and started talking to God. I was washing the dishes and just started talking to him in the midst of my negativity.

Within a few minutes I felt so much better! I was so excited that I didn't travel down the thought path that Satan had prepared for me.

It's the little victories that mean so much.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. homemade cookies
2. greasy fingers
3. raffia
4. curtains
5. bare feet

Traveling

I am traveling to Kansas City today for a team meeting. I work with an amazing group of people who are spread out across the country. We meet in person quarterly, but talk as a group daily.

I always get nervous when I am about to see everyone. I begin to doubt what I bring to the table. Am I good enough? Do I measure up to the standards of our team?

Ugh! Doubt will kill your spirit if you let it.

I have to remember that God doesn't ask out of us what isn't already in us. That I am in the place (and job) that I am in for many amazing reasons...even if I don't have a clue what they are :)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. coffee
2. short security checkpoints
3. ladies stepping forward in ministry at church
4. fried chicken
5. crystal platters

Rest

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

So many things happen to us on a daily basis. The little things add up. The big things take our breath away in an instant. Regardless of how insignificant we may think our problems are, God is there for us. For every single thing.

This verse from Matthew is very comforting to me. I especially like "will give you rest." Knowing that God is there for me in all things allows me to rest for a moment...to breathe knowing that His will is going to be done.

We can live our lives "weary" or in "joy."

I have a friend ("J") who recently lost a young daughter. To lose a child must be beyond devastating. I am amazed at "J" because she has shown up to Bible Study, shares in class and looks better every time I see her. She has given up everthing to the Lord and is healing. She has chosen joy. She has given her sadness and grief to the Lord and He is carrying her.

What are you struggling with? What has become a burden so heavy that your joy has disappeared? The Lord is big enought to handle anything you give him!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my little one walking (healed from a bleed)
2. toy tools
3. cards from old friends
4. ceramics
5. emery boards

Being Called

When you use the word "called" often time people think you are crazy or that it just applies to "ministry."

I don't think that's true. I think everyone is called to do something. To create, to write, to learn, to parent, to teach, to sing....the list goes on.

The one thing I am certain of in my life is the calling that has been placed on my life to teach. I taught middle school for many years and left when a lucrative offer came my way for a career change. In that new career I continued to teach...but now adults.

I have ventured out into a new arena. Women's bible study. Last night I started a group and we are studying, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, by Joanna Weaver. It is a wonderful book that was given to me a few years ago and I have always wanted to share it with a group of women. And we started last night.

It was wonderful! We have a fantastic group of about 12 women, all very different. All bringing wonderful stories and perspectives to the table.

I am so honored to be a part of this dynamic group of women. I pray that I am up to the task to facilitate and lead all to a deeper understanding of the Word of God.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. catalogs
2. kleenex
3. retreats
4. new outfits
5. choo-choos

Wonderful News!

I am so excited! Our hematologist called today and Christian's inhibitor levels are the lowest they have ever been! It looks like the chemo is working!

All of the trips, all of the money, all of the waiting, all of the crying and doubt about whether or not we made the right decision....I could go on and on.

God's timing is perfect. He has led us down this path and now we see the results.

I am so overjoyed that I can hardly put words together!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. phone calls
2. test results
3. teacher's that care
4. watered plants
5. the weekly newspaper

4 Years Ago

4 years ago today, my life changed. I gave birth to my second son, Christian. For four years my husband and I tried to conceive (our oldest son is 10 years older than Christian). When we finally gave up trying, there he was!

To say we were utterly amazed that we were blessed with another child is an understatement. The pregnancy was difficult but worth every minute.

Not only did our lives change because we were bringing a newborn into our home after 10 years, but he, too, was diagnosed with Severe Hemophilia. I only thought I knew how to handle Hemophilia after dealing with Lance's condition...Christian has taken us down a road with a bleeding disorder that I never dreamed.

After many hospitalizations, surgeries, and chemotherapy my life is filled with a joy I never imagined.

The Lord has provided for us in ways too numerous to list. And entrusting us with two amazing lives to raise is beyond words.

I am not sure what is in store for us, but I know the Lord will never give us more than we are able to handle.

Happy Birthday, my sweet, Christian. The best is yet to come.


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. candles
2. birthday cake
3. email
4. presents
5. tokens

My Christian

My Christian has been having a rough time. He's had a knee bleed and an ankle bleed back to back within the past two weeks. It's been very painful for him. To see him crawling and limping just hurts my heart. I spent Wednesday morning with him...from midnight until 4 am, holding him to try and soothe his pain.

As a parent, I would do anything in the world to take the pain of hemophilia away from my children. But it's just not in the plan. All I can do is be there in every way possible for both of my boys. To make sure they have their factor, that it is administered properly, to hold them when they are in pain and all has been done except let time pass for the injury to heal.

Tonight has been one of those nights as we wait in the hotel in Albuquerque and administer fluids before his chemo on Friday. The waiting, the re-accessing of his port, the anticipation of yet another new drug in the hopes that his inhibitor will be eradicated.

We wait and we pray for God's will to be done.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my homecare company
2. our nurse S.
3. chocolate cake
4. chicken strips
5. anticipation

A Big Day

I've been working on a presentation to give to offices in my work network across the country. It was an idea I had and was given the go ahead to run with the project. Today I give my first conference call twice...the first one in an hour!

When you feel passionately about something, step out in faith and make it happen. It can sure be scary, but the Lord will be with you when it is truly the right thing to do.

Prayers appreciated :)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. ice, cold water
2. clean dishes
3. fluorescent lamps
4. dusty plants
5. cold rooms

Give God a Year

I was considering the "picture a day" idea for 2010 where you take a picture a day in your life and post 365-1, 365-2, etc. But I've had a better idea.

I'm giving God a year. In my never ending quest to lose weight, I came across a new book written by Carole Lewis, "Give God a Year." So far it's a really good read. The whole idea is to commit to a year of giving God first place in your day and everything else falls into place. It's not about "losing weight" but getting your priorities in order where your relationship with Christ is concerned.

The week before Christmas I started my year. I am pretty good at my daily devotional time, but I want to deepen my relationship with Christ. I am committing myself to a regular daily time with God where I am journaling and right now working on a First Place 4 Health Bible study.

I could easily say that my committment is to lose X number of pounds, exercise regularly, etc. but I think that working on my relationship will help everything else fall into place.

What have you resolved to do this year that is different than in the past?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. droopy plants
2. space heaters
3. this morning's sunrise
4. Joe making his flight home
5. gift card holders

Back to the Grind

It's tough going back to school (work) after the holidays!



I hope you and yours had a wonderful holiday season.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hamburgers
2. dinner invitations
3. long conversations
4. decorations being put away
5. routine

A Great Year

2009 was a wonderful year!

Yes, we started with Lance in the hospital for an appendectomy in January and yes Christian was in the hospital several times and began chemo this year, but overall the year has been great.

My husband is 6 months away from finishing his Master of Divinity and being commissioned in the Methodist Church, my job is developing and offering me more responsibilities and projects, we are serving a church in a new capacity and my children are happy.

I never dreamed we would have moved and serve a church by this time, but God's timing is perfect.

I pray that 2010 offers you and your families many blessings.

Happy New Year!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. peanut butter on a bagel
2. haircuts
3. cards to address
4. external hard drives
5. new beginnings

I Stopped...

It's so easy for the evenings in our home to go by without much interaction. Last night, my oldest son was wiping out his hard drive and trying to get his netbook to work, my husband was working on clearing papers, bills, etc., I was washing dishes, and my little Christian was watching a Thomas video.

Christian came up to me and said, "Come watch with me"! So, I stopped what I was doing and went and laid on his bed and watched his little DVD player with him. We talked all about the movie and giggled till our tummies hurt!

We get so tied up into what we are doing that sometimes we forget to "be" together.

We've started playing alot of Wii tennis and it's too much fun.

What are you doing as a family everyday?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. cardstock
2. scrapbooking
3. invites to parties
4. choclate covered pecans
5. enjoying the moment

A Wonderful Holiday

Christmas with a three year old is just too much fun! My thirteen year old is still young enough to also still "be a kid" and not too much of a "tween" and it made for a wonderful Christmas morning.

When your small family of four lives hundreds of miles away from family, it can be a little lonely. I was set to make a nice meal on Christmas Day, watch some movies and that would have made our holiday complete. But we were invited to Christmas lunch at B and T's and Christmas dinner at J and B's! We took everyone up on their offers and we had such a blessed day!

Family is not only "blood" but family is the love you have for others and the relationships you cultivate. This was one of our best Christmas Day's to date.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. friendship
2. the possibility of snow
3. fleece
4. B's tamales
5. after Christmas shopping

Happy Anniversary!

This past weekend, my husband and I celebrated seventeen years of marriage. It seems like we have been together forever (in a good way).

I was too young at the time to know the kind of love that I experience with him now. We have traveled many paths together, loved our children, and created new lives for ourselves in a new place (a few times).

The way we spent our weekend was perfecft. We drove up to Santa Fe (one of our favorite places) and spent the day in the square shopping, went to the movies with the boys and ended the day on the Storybook Train.

The train took us a few miles out of Santa Fe, stopped under the night sky and a storyteller came out and read The Polar Express to all the children. Then hot chocolate and cookies were served and the evening finished with a visit from Santa! He even passed out jingle bells from his reindeer. My Christian was thrilled!

It's these precious moments in life that make everything worthwhile.

I love you, Joe.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hot tea

2. sweatshirts

3. baking yet to come

4. push pins

5. fresh flowers

Friday's

This is what our Friday's have looked like.....







after today we have a month break! Then we start a new infusion drug that is a once a month infusion for five months. Hopefully this protocol will work on Christian's levels and do the trick.

We continue to pray.

We do what we have to for our children.

A friend recently told me "I could never stick my child in the chest with a needle!" Well, I never thought I could either, but you do what you have to do.

I look around the infusion suite and I see children with no hair battling cancer...young teens on dialysis...there is always something greater than you can imagine to deal with.

I'll take what we have and thank God for the blessings in my life.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. naps
2. my iPhone
3. sunflower seeds
4. Christmas shopping (FINISHED!)
5. trains

No Room

Have you ever had a Christmas season where once it was all over you realized you had left Christ out of the picture?



I have promised to try my best to not let that happen. I am purposely scaling back...not every ornament is on the tree (I only have one tree instead of two), not all the decorations, including the village, came out of their boxes, I've not gone overboard shopping and baking...quite yet.



I want to enjoy the quiet of Christmas...you know, enjoy the sounds around me. Enjoy my children as we watch as Christmas special, prepare for our days off together and plan some quality time. Enjoy just "being".



Our holiday schedules get so busy that we have no room for solitude with the Lord, no room for Jesus to work wonders in your life, no room in our schedules to breathe, no room for Jesus.



I challenge you this holiday season to leave room for the One who is most important.



Today I Am Thankful For:



1. Walmart pizza

2. pictures with Santa

3. holiday music

4. porch lights

5. tea lights

Advent

At lunch after church I heard an interesting conversation. A woman, who is close friends to our lunch buddies, had never heard of Advent. She is a church going woman, but their church does not celebrate Advent.

She was trying very hard to understand what this time in our church year meant. I find it odd that not everyone knows about Advent. Growing up Catholic and becoming Methodist, it is part of our tradition, so it is all I know at this time of year.

Advent is a time of preparation. A season to prepare for the birth of Christ. Some people use Advent calendars to mark off the days until Christmas, others use candles, but regardless of how you mark the season of Advent it reminds us that the coming of Christ into the world is not something that just happened in the past -- the season of Advent tells us that Christ continues to come into our world in the present through the lives of people who choose to follow Him.

Just as we prepare our homes for guests at the holidays, we need to prepare our hearts for the most special guest of all.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. lots of work to keep me busy "at work"
2. furniture polish
3. snowmen
4. childhood Christmas decorations
5. fingerpaints

Presents

"It is better to give than to receive."



I do love to give presents. I love to pick out just the right paper with a pretty bow, but let's be honest, it's nice to get a present too and that's okay.



When you start to look around, there are presents everywhere. Not just wrapped in pretty boxes and bags but around you in your daily living.



Your child doing well in school, a warm house in the winter, food to eat, a computer to surf and blog, a sleeping dog under the tree...you just have to open your eyes to the blessings around you. If they were wrapped in a pretty box, you would love to open them and cherish them.






The reality is, we have received the ultimate gift of all. Jesus. He died for us. For each of us. I mean think about it...God sent his only son to die on the cross for us. That is huge! Watch The Passion of the Christ sometime to get a visual of what that really meant. We say it so often and take it for granted, but what did it look like? Do we know what it means? We are given the gift of His love everyday. The gift of forgiveness of our sins, everyday.



Think about presents today. How would you wrap up the love of Christ?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. papers to shred

2. a decorated tree

3. "Jingle Bell Rock"

4. newly hung pictures

5. the clinking sound in the dryer

Another week

I always enjoy Monday mornings. I know, it sounds crazy, but I like to gather my thoughts and plans for the week and know that a new week has come with many opportunities.

Holiday decorations to display, meals to cook, cookies to bake, music to prepare...the list goes on, but it is a list of things that will bless our family. New traditions mixed with the old to make some wonderful memories.

I have finally gotten to the point in my life where I do not let holiday's "rule" me. I used to get very stressed out about buying presents (did I get enough) decorating just right (what was Martha Stewart doing lately) and did the food I cook and bake come out good enough?

There is not a"right" way to celebrate, as long as you are with your family and friends.

Enjoy the beginning of your week! Fill it with memory making!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new bulletin boards
2. iPod chargers
3. portable DVD players (keeps Christian busy in the hospital :)
4. turtleneck sweaters
5. firewood

Slow but steady...

Slow but steady wins the race, or in our case today, slow but steady will get you to Albuquerque safely!

We had snow and ice in our small town last night and getting to the hospital (2 hours away) to an 8:30 am appointment did not quite happen. We arrived at 9:30 but all in one piece.

Christian's chemo did not even start running in his IV until 2 pm! Doctor's orders were not written out completely, and one thing after another seemed to happen. His treatment will hopefully be finished around 8 pm. It is something that cannot be rushed. Slow and steady.

I think it's like our relationship with Christ. In the beginning we get so excited and want everything to happen quickly. We want to be close to God desperately, but it takes time to develop our relationship. We cannot make it happen through being on every committee at church and attending every Bible Study available. It takes time. Personal, quiet time. Slow and steady.

Being consistent in my time with the Lord on a daily basis is what has kept me connected. That relationship has strengthened over the past several years.

When I make the drive that I have come to be very familiar with to Albuquerque, I feel the Lord with me. It's a great time to talk.

When do you talk to Him?

Working for the Lord

What a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend! I am overwhelmed with the blessings in my life. We got away to nearby Santa Fe, rode the train, played in the snow...it was great. We have some family in from Houston for a few more days and sometimes I get overwhelmed at cooking and keeping everyone happy. This prompted a verse to come to mind.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:23

When you think about the verse, it's kind of hard to not work with a smile on your face and warmth in your heart. Working at cooking meals, making people feel at home while they are away from theirs, working at our daily jobs that are not in ministry.

Everything we do should glorify God. That is what oozing is all about. You can ooze the Holy Spirit while you are working on quarterly reports, preparing a mailing and making phone calls.

It's a challenge. Can you take this verse to heart this week? What will be your biggest challenge?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. pecans
2. the possibility of snow
3. rocking chairs
4. hand sanitizer
5. groomed dogs

Giving Thanks

If I was to list the things I am thankful for, I don't know if I could stop. It's not just the big things like a great job, or my health, but also the little things like peanut butter and biscuits at the local diner.



I can honestly say that I am thankful for the bleeding disorders that my children have. I've experienced a lifetime with them both and it has made me grow and will turn my boys into strong men.



I am also thankful that several years ago I learned that Thanksgiving does not have to be "done" a "certain" way...i.e. "Martha Stewart."



I am in a hotel in Santa Fe with my family, having a Thanksgiving feast (that I'm not cooking) at the Marriott with a leisurely movie thrown in. What a glorious day it will be! Surrounded by the mountains in what I deem "God's Country."



My prayer for you is that you do not get too overwhelmed by Thanksgiving. Don't be "Martha" (Luke 10:38-42)! Enjoy the company as "Mary" enjoyed listening to Jesus. It was a time she did not want to pass up.



Our lives are filled with charmed moments. Moments that we will hopefully be awake enough to experience and hopefully wise enough to appreciate (Katrina Kenison, The Gift of an Ordinary Day).



Blessings to you and your families on this day of thanks. Let's keep our days of thanks going throughout the entire year. Write down the things you are thankful for and go back and revisit your list. You'll be amazed at how you view the world.



Today I Am Thankful For:



1. family flying in safely

2. hearing my little one breathing as he is snuggled under the covers

3. rest

4. new cameras

5. a treasured new book The Gift of An Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison

Our ultimate reward

Had a scare this weekend. My husband had to go to the emergency room. He is a diabetic that has controlled his diabetes through diet and medication for several years, but now it seems as if he may need to go on insulin.

He was not feeling great and found out that his sugar was extremely high.

When you have someone (or you are) in the hospital you start to think about life ending. I've been doing that a lot as I've gotten into my "forties." I always have assumed that I would be the one to "go first" because I can't imagine my life without my husband. I just adore him.

To see my husband sick just scares me. He's doing great now but these things happen and make us think about our mortality. Sometimes I find myself thinking about what I would do if my husband passed away. Where would I live, what about the kids, etc. It's crazy thinking but I think part of that thinking is Satan getting his hands on me.

What I should be thinking about is what my ultimate reward will be when I die! I will get to spend eternity at the feet of Jesus. It's time to not be scared of death but to prepare in our hearts for the day that we will meet God.

I lack quite a bit of wisdom where death is concerned. I pray that God give me the heart and soul to prepare for it.

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12



Today I Am Thankful For:

1. choclate milk
2. an organized coat closet
3. a clean fridge
4. modems
5. possibilities

Surprises

It touches my heart when someone thinks of my boys. Yesterday, one of our church members brought me a Lightning McQueen bag filled with goodies (from her little grandson) for my Christian. Since he'd been in the hospital, they had been thinking of him and made him a goodie bag. He loved it!

When we got home, a few hours later, there was a package at the door. For my Lance. It was from his old Sunday school teacher at our previous church. She made him his favorite...Snickerdoodles!

I was so touched and overwhelmed at the love shown to my children yesterday. A couple of nice acts that made each of them feel special.

Have you gone out of your way lately to touch someone's life? It's the simple things that often mean the most.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the morning chill
2. a filthy house
3. having time to take off
4. road trips
5. peace

Plans

Where is the best place to catch a virus? The hospital. I've been dealing with one for a few days in addition to living around Christian's schedule of IV antibiotics(6am and 6 pm until Thanksgiving...a 2 hour infusion).

It's just one of those things...when you "plan" things just happen.

I'm looking forward to a getaway to Santa Fe over Thanksgiving. And then we will be preparing for the biggest birthday party of the year!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. dry toast
2. a messy desk
3. a wonderful babysitter
4. paperweights
5. space heaters

Hospital Moments

My Christian is in the hospital, again. He has an infection in his implanted port. It's been a weekend of keeping my three year old entertained while being alone in the hospital.

When you are in the hospital out of your hometown you have to manuever well. Did I pack enough clothes, since I'm not sure how long we'll be staying? Can I sneak down fast enough to get something to eat? Do I have enough time to run across the floor to wash my clothes? And of course, am I fast enough to get the bucket to him when he gets sick?

Another few, crazy days of hospital living. But through all the craziness we had some great moments. Moments that will never be taken away. Moments that may have not happened at home.

We spend lots of time looking out of the big window in our room that overlooks the university campus talking about the snow on the mountains, the colors of the leaves, the birds, the airplanes and the cars below. We get lost in our conversations.

When I put Christian to sleep, we were lying together in his bed looking at the ceiling. I had brought his nightlight, which shines the moon and stars on the ceiling. We had our quiet time of talking about the stars and "Luna." A quiet, precious moment in the craziness of the hospital.

As I have been getting stressed this evening, I hang onto those moments. I hang onto the smile from across the room that my sweet son flashes as he is watching "Thomas." And I smile at the lone choo choo on the windowsill that my thirteen year old once called his own.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. The Ronald McDonald House
2. crushed ice
3. Skype
4. straws
5. choo choos

"I'm Not Who I Was"

"God, thank you for not letting me be who I used to be."

Over the past eight years my life has taken a huge turn. My faith strengthened, I learned a lot about myself and my direction in life completely changed. I was a teacher living in suburbia trying to keep up and now I have a job that allows me to work from home, with a husband who is a pastor (in an itinerant system), and I have a new found passion for preaching God's word.

Back then I told someone, who I used to be close to, that they were "dead to me." Those words haunt me. Satan had his grip on me then in a very bad time in my life.

It's amazing how much freedom I feel now! I can never take those words back and I don't think that person will ever forgive me, all I can do is pray for them, but I know I'm not who I was, and I thank God for that!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. volunteering with the local band program
2. reed diffusers
3. door prizes
4. 1/2 days off
5. breakfast at the local diner

Perspective

The things I worry about...
my weight
money
exercising
car problems
my house not being clean enough
what I want to be when I grow up.

Doesn't the Bible clearly tell us a few things about worry?

In Philippians 4:6 we are commanded "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

All of our needs are to be brought to God rather than keep to ourselves in worry.

In 1 Peter 5:7, we are instructed to “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” God does not want us to carry around the weight of problems and burdens. In this verse, God is telling us to give Him all of our worries and concerns. The God wants to take on our problems because He cares for us. God is concerned about everything that happens to us. No worry is too big or too small for His attention. When we give God our problems, He promises to give us the peace which transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

I recently heard about a woman who is battling cancer. She had lung cancer which has now spread to her brain. She has five children and she is 41 years old. 41. That's my age. I can't begin to imagine what she is dealing with. She's fighting for her life and I am struggling to figure out what the next right thing to do is.

Yes, I believe we all have our struggles and I am not trying to make light of what anyone deals with just because it is not a life threatening illness, but I think it is important that we put our lives into perspective. There is always someone dealing with something huge - probably bigger than anything in our own lives.

I know my Christian's chemo is a big deal, but I have also put it into perspective. I know that the children around him in the infusion suite are also dealing with huge doses compared to my son and they have their struggles, but it doesn't make ours any less important. We just have to give everything over to God and know that His will is being done.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. muffins
2. the Nomads
3. new windows
4. dust
5. flash drives

Doubt

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19 (NIV)


Why do we let doubt even creep in to our minds?

I wish I could say that the above verse is on my heart all of the time, but often times, I begin to worry about things. "Will the shop find out what's wrong with my vehicle, will Christian's chemo have a good result when it's all over, will we stay in our current pastorate longer than a year..."

I know I could worry myself sick about everything, but then I'll be missing out on something really important...LIFE! Satan works hard at getting us when we are down. Even while things are going along great and we have that split second of wonder and doubt, Satan works his way in to destroy the good in our lives.

We have to keep our priorities in check...keep all of the important things on our list active in all that we do. We have to remember that doubt can destroy.

"I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." -Psalm 16:7-8 (NIV)

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. direct deposit
2. rental cars
3. phone cords
4. bookmarks
5. journaling

Seeds

We have started a new fall tradition...roasting pumpkin seeds. I went to my friend, T's, the other afternoon and she was roasting pumpkin seeds. She cleaned them,

seasoned them with garlic salt...


and roasted them in the oven.



They are delicious!

Needless to say, my oldest and I carved our pumpkins and did the same.

It's a great new tradition and we have the chance to do something really special...redeem our pumpkins!

Think about it. What do you do with the guts of your pumpkin? By taking the seeds and using them for something good, we have redeemed what our pumpkins can be. Not are they only decorations, but we use them for a great treat.

It's just like how God works. He takes us as we are, uses every part of us, and redeems us. He takes the yucky parts of us, like our pumpkins, and loves us and uses us in all things.

Pretty cool, don't you think?

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new traditions
2. a day in the kitchen
3. houseguests
4. new friends (C and C)
5. small town kindness

Casting our Burdens

Right when things seem to be going well...our schedules, finances, medical issues...something happens to put a "kink" into what we consider living life well.

Isn't that normally what happens? Everything moves along great and the minute you get complacent "BAM" reality hits.

You know, something like a major repair that is needed on your house, a car that dies and has not hope of resarting (buying a new car), a big health issue that will take many tests and trips to the hospital with lots of waiting...

I believe Satan works on many levels. He finds his way into our minds when we begin to doubt ourselves, when things begin to go wrong at school and/or work, and when relationships begin to fail.

Our natural inclination is to worry ourselves sick! But if we truly know that God is in control of every aspect of our life, we will give up even the most mundane of worries that can eat us up.


“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
-Matthew 11:28-30

When has God shown up in a huge way when you cast all your burdens on Him?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. birthday cards
2. new calendars
3. carving pumpkins
4. hot soup on a cold night
5. a table filled with papers

Comfort

I would imagine most of you feel a great comfort when you get home. You slip off your shoes, get into comfy clothes, put on your slippers and you are in a safe haven.

There are many places where we feel that kind of comfort. For my boys, it is also at our church where they feel comfort. The spend quite a bit of time after school hanging out until me (I office out of the church) and my husband are done for the day.

At any given spot in the church you may see this...


It's another home away from home. I'm so glad they are comfortable being "Pastor's Kids." :)

God has led us on an amazing journey. We both were teachers living in suburbia trying to do the "right things" and God plucked us out of our situation to go and follow Him. We went to the desert of New Mexico and have ended up in a small, eclectic town neary. We continue to follow and listen.

What has He asked of you lately?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. memory cards
2. "shuffle" on my iPod
3. Pez dispensers
4. winter finally arriving
5. flashlights

Merry Christmas??

I had a great experience this weekend. I went to a ladies retreat at Elephant Butte Inn, which is our neighboring town on the lake (it is a beautiful place). Janet Drez (Octopus Faith), was our guest speaker from Arizona.

The retreat was entitled, "Christmas Through the Eyes of A Child." She walked us through anticipating the Christmas season. Sounds funny to be talking about Christmas in October, but before we blink our eyes the season will be upon us.

I always get overwhelmed with the holiday season. Actually, Thanksgiving is my favorite, but I feel as if I have to do Christmas "right" like a family member who I used to be close with always did. You know, the "Martha Stewart" kind of Christmas.

But that is not me and never will be. I just know that I will continue to focus on why we celebrate Christmas. Like Janet said this weekend, it's the biggest birthday party of the year!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new friends
2. afternoon naps
3. paper shredderws
4. a new bible study (The Reason We Speak)
5. date night!

Time

Time.

We are always short of time.

"If only I had a few more hours in the day..."

"If only I had a few extra weeks before the holidays actually arrived..."

"If only I had a few more months of my child being an infant..."

We could go on and on about "needing" more time.

I had a realization this past weekend as I attending the Sangre de Oro Family Education Weekend (bleeding disorder community in New Mexico). I looked around and there were lots of young parents and lots of older adults, but no one my age (early 40's).

It was strange. I mean, I guess I am really getting older and am not a "young parent" anymore. I feel like one...but I'm not.

I remember my mom at the age I am at. She was diagnosed with diabetes and her health started to deteriorate. She seemed so much older than I feel right now.

But something happened this weekend that definitely made me feel older.

When I did this...my eyeliner went on so much easier...



Have you had that moment where you accepted the fact that time was marching on?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a new doctor
2. hearing good things about my husband's ministry
3. fat envelopes
4. having the week off from taking Christian to chemo
5. new folders

Vacation?

Have you ever taken a trip to Wal-Mart alone and felt like it was a vacation?

It's pretty sad, but can be an enjoyable outing when you have the chance to go sans kids.

This afternoon was filled with work but my mind was already preparing to take Christian to Albuquerque for his chemo treatment. My husband was extremely busy at church, the kids were keeping themselves amused at church and then it happened...Christian had an "accident." The kind where the only remedy is to strip and take a bath.

The joys of motherhood...a three year old is always an adventure. In our instance the "two's" were no problem, it's the "three's" that have been a challenge!

I am in a season of trying to ignite my passion again. School has not done it for me at all. Work, well, it's work. I'm really good at it, but I am looking for more.

A great opportunity has come my way through my work and I am hoping that it pans out to give me more of a challenge, but only time will tell.

I know, deep in my heart, that my mission right now is to keep the home fires burning while my husband finishes seminary. He is taking 14 hours and serving a church! It's crazy! I know that the only way he is doing it is by God's grace.

This time next year, seminary will be over and we can enjoy ministering without that over our heads. It's difficult, but will definitely be worth it.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. labels
2. Ibuprofen
3. surprise checks in the mail
4. curling irons
5. Wal-Mart

Being Unsettled

We've been in T or C since mid August and for the the most part we are settled.

My house is unpacked, my office at church is unpacked, the kids rooms are done, so why am I so unsettled?

Before we moved, I had a great routine. I would get up early, have my quiet time, read my Bible, blog, then it would be time for everyone to get up. I would help get the kids to school, go to the office, go to the gym and back home for the evening.

My quiet time is not regular and there is no gym here so I have to really make the effort to exercise and it just hasn't happened.

With those two things missing from my life, I am unsettled, and I just don't "feel" well.

Quiet time nurtures our heart and soul. Our relationship with God strengthens.

Exercise nurtures our physical body and we just downright feel better when we take care of ourselves.

I use so many excuses to not take care of myself..."The kids....my work...the church...etc., etc." We have to put ourselves on top of our list. If we can't take care of ourselves and be happy, no one around us will be happy either.

I am making a commitment to my morning quiet time. I felt so great when it was a regular thing in my life.

I am also going to make a commitment to get some exercise. I had been feeling better than I had in years. It also helped keep my depression in check.

Here's to new commitments and "resolutions"! It doesn't have to be January 1st to start fresh!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. business cards
2. label makers
3. window paint
4. ethernet cables
5. shiny fingernails

The Art of Oozing

I was recently walking through a Hallmark store and saw a wonderful saying.


"Let no one ever come to you wihout leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." Mother Teresa

If that is not the epitome of "oozing" I don't know what is!

Isn't that what we should want? To have people leave us and feel good?

What is it about ourselves that leaves that impression on people? I think it has to do with your heart. The love you have to share. The relationship you have with Christ that comes out of you.

The hard part is to practice the art of oozing with everyone, not just the select few.

We have to leave our judgements behind. We don't know what it is like to walk in someone else's shoes, so we have to be sensitive to their feelings.

We have to be considerate to all, even those that may not "get it." You know, the ones who catch you at church or the store and just start talking and you are walking away in a hurry? We must ooze the light of Christ with them as well.

I want to be that person. The one that loves all. That does not judge. That treats everyone fairly.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. dog hair
2. homemade soup
3. pedicures
4. birthday cards
5. stained glass

Waiting

How much of our life is spent waiting?

Waiting to graduate.

Waiting for your wedding day.

Waiting for the pregnancy test.

Waiting for a baby to grow in your womb.

Waiting for your kids after their first day of school.

Waiting in the doctor's office for a diagnosis.

Waiting.

Christian and I sit and wait in his hospital room. We are waiting on his chemo to come to the floor from the pharmacy.

I think the hardest thing about the hospital is the waiting. We wait on the nurse, the doctor to come by, medications to be mixed, to be discharged...the list goes on.

I think waiting teaches us many things.

To be patient - and wait for things to happen in the right time.

To love - sometimes we have to let our loved ones experience life on their own
terms in their own time and just love them where they are at.

To trust - and know that all things are in God's hands and there is nothing we can do to change His plan.

I think Alcoholics Anonymous has it right. We have to "Let Go and Let God." I think that says it all.

Everything in His time for His purpose.

"I waited patiently for the LORD, He turned to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hospital gowns
2. pillows
3. Dr. M
4. crackers
5. old, wood floors

A Special Day

My Dad passed away two years ago today. It's a very special day because forty one years ago today I was brought into this world, and it's the same day my Dad went home to be with the Lord.

It's a special day for both of us.

He went home after not being himself for several years and I know he wasn't happy. He missed my Mom, he missed being himself.

But I am so grateful for the years I had with him. The love he shared with my boys. That he was here to see my Christian and love on him. And for my boys to love him back.

Daddy was a quiet man. He was not one to hug or say "I love you," but even in his last days when he reached his arm out to me to touch me, that meant the world to me.

The last day I spent with Daddy it was just the two of us in his hospice room. The day before, my husband and oldest son and I made a CD of music for him. We sang, played our instruments and gave him our gift of music one last time. After playing our music I prayed over him and read scripture to him.

It was a very special time that I am grateful for. I was able to say goodbye and love him well.

Gonzalo Campos was my Daddy. I called him "Dude." I don't know where that came from but it stuck.

I miss him.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. good memories
2. new friends
3. clean bathrooms
4. my Swiffer Vac
5. my "Dude"

A New Appreciation

I have an new "appreciation", if you will, for people that are on a treatment of chemotherapy. People with cancer that take huge doses that make them extremely ill, and so many other conditions that warrant chemotherapy.

We hear of people with cancer and chemo and I think, think nothing of it, until it touches us personally. It's horrible.

"Christian" had his first round of chemo (a very small dose in relation to so many other folks) and it was pretty scary at first. About half an hour in he started to break out, his ears were red, his cheeks flushed and shortly after that he had severe chills and fever. The chills scared me the most.

Once the doctor stopped everything, gave him steroids and his fever subsided the treatment began again, with no problems. It was amazing. I watched him all night. It was like watching water boil.

So, the treatment has begun. We go on Friday's for the next three weeks, take four weeks off, go on for four weeks again…it's going to be a long year, but we continue to pray that the treatment will have been well worth it for "Christian."

As a mom, we try to protect our children. We teach them to hold hands, look both ways before crossing the street, not to talk to strangers, and the list goes on. When our hands are tied, such as medical issues, it's not a great feeling. You put your child in the hands of the doctors and trust that they know what they are doing. That they will take care of your child as if he/she was their own.

The truth is, our children, well, all of us, are in the hands of the Great Physician. All things happen under his care.

Today I Am Thankful for:

1. Benadryl
2. Newly potted plants
3. A freshly mowed yard
4. Diet Cherry Syrup
5. Overnight packages (UPS)

Does it really make us stronger?

As a mom we endure quite a bit of pain. The obvious, childbirth, watching our newborns turn into toddlers, the first day of Kindergarten, their first love breaking their heart, the drivers license, college and the list goes on.

When you have a child with a chronic medical condition, it's different. There's always something. In our journey with hemophilia, we have been led to something new for us, chemotherapy. My three year old has an inhibitor, a condition that does not allow his factor to work. This chemotherapy has proven to get rid of inhibitors.

That's where we are. At the hosptial about to start a four week round of chemo. It's scary.

You've heard the expression, "that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Well sometimes I wonder. My strength is really being tested right now.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. choo choo books
2. granola bars
3. socks with holes
4. wireless internet
5. sunflower seeds