I Was Right

I recently wrote about intuition. I had known something was wrong with my little guy's port and it ended up that we didn't need to get anything checked out. It started to feel okay, so we thought all was well...and Tuesday it happened...it didn't work.

We drove to Albuquerque to get it checked out and we were admitted to the hospital. He went into surgery Wednesday and we found out his port was toast. It came out and a new one was implanted. I knew almost two weeks ago that something was wrong with it. My gut just told me.

He is doing very well, but we won't be leaving until Tuesday. Ah, the joys of "living" in the hospital...hospital food, daytime television, the "comfort" of the guest bed, and the bored patient. (But, I was told we have one of the best views for the big fireworks show on Saturday!)

Thankfully there is a great activity center and playground to help the days go by faster now that my Christian is doing better.

I am here surrouned by children who have also had major surgeries that won't be going home anytime soon. Children with cancer, others moms who haven't been home in weeks...

I thank you, Father, God, for the blessing of my children and their medical conditions. I wouldn't trade them for the world.


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a new port
2. nurses that have answered their calling
3. wireless internet
4. crushed ice
5. our amazing hematologist

Prayers Please

I am sitting in the hospital in Albuquerque with my little "Christian." We came in today with complications from his port-a-cath. He is having surgery tomorrow to have it removed and a new one inserted.

Please keep him in your prayers. He's had a really traumatic day.

I'll be back with an update soon.

Blessings,

The Corners

I spent the morning cleaning house. My company had just left, and I needed to get things freshened up for the week.

My least favorite part of cleaning house, is cleaning floors. Yuck! Give me a toilet, or a stove no problem, but the floors? I just hate doing them.

I try the fastest approach...the Swiffer. I love my Swiffer simply because it is fast and no fuss. But, it doesn't do a fabulous job. The dirt gets pushed to the corners and after awhile, builds up.

I decided the floors needed extra attention, so I dragged the mop and bucket out. It does a better job than the Swiffer, but still, there is dirt in the corners.

What is the best way to clean a floor? On your hands and knees.

I equate it to studying God's word.

Its easy to find a great verse and say, "Oh, that is nice, it really speaks to me and fits my situation right now." You even go to the lengths of writing it on a card and memorizing it, but do you truly know what it means.

Do you let the scripture sink into you? Do you sit and marinate yourself with the word and let it transform you? Are you on your hands and knees?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a new blouse
2. new slippers
3. the swimming pool
4. fresh sheets
5. bathroom floors

He Never Leaves

One of my biggest fears came to pass yesterday. My vehicle died in rush hour traffic. Thankfully, one of the Courtesy Wreckers in Albuquerque (big yellow trucks that run around during rush hour) immediately pulled in behind me.



I turned the car off, restarted, and it was as if nothing was wrong. I called my husband (in Denver, like he could come rescue me....) and he was my GPS. He directed me to a local garage and the verdict...bad gas. Bad gas! I still had to drive the 3 1/2 hours home!



I managed to get to the scrapbook store and then my business dinner and hit the road at 8 pm. I've never driven as intently (and at the top of the speed limit) as I did last night.



You know what I learned last night? God never leaves me alone. He sent the wrecker to me, my husband was able to direct me to a garage open till 5:30 and not 5:00, and He stayed with me throughout my drive through rain and darkness all the way home, while my cell phone was in the red.





"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5



Today I Am Thankful For:


1. great conversation
2. nice restaurants
3. grapefruit
4. fuel treatment
5. Chevron

Humidity

I lived in Houston for 30+ years, and humidity was something you lived with. Over 100%? No worries, it was the norm.

Now that I live in the desert where the humidity is in the single digits, Ah, Life is Good! No more bad hair days...that is...until the monsoon season strikes.

Our humidity is in the 60% range and I am suffocating! My hair! It's awful the minute I walk outside my house!

But you know what the truth is? What is on the outside does not always reflect what is on the inside. God knows our insides. He doesn't worry about what our outsides are doing as much as what is going on in our hearts.

I struggle with my outward appearance. I need to lose weight, my hair is having a bad day, I could use a few new pieces of clothing. What I need to spend my energy on is the inside of myself. The words I use to talk to myself.

I am reading a great book, "Self Talk, Soul Talk" by Jennifer Rothschild and I am also working her bible study "Me, Myself and Lies" with Beth Moore at the LPM Blog.

We can dress ourselves up, have perfect hair and makeup, but if the words we speak to ourselves are ugly and not of God, the outside is just for show.

I need to work harder at getting my insides to match what the Lord wants for me.

What about you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my weekly menu
2. webcams
3. socks
4. my corner rounder
5. UPS

A Great (Exhausting) Weekend

What a weekend!

We threw a birthday party for my teenager to be (June 23rd) at the local gaming place. It's a place where they have flat screen tv's and game systems. We were there for SIX HOURS! Lance and his friends had a fantastic time!




Oh, but the day was not over yet. Our church held a Performing Arts Camp and the kids presented the musical HONK! What a precious retelling of the Ugly Duckling story. My Lance was "Ugly" and my husband was "The Cat!" It was wonderful!





And to top off our crazy busy weekend, we have relatives in for the week and my husband left for Denver (seminary) for the week.

Am I blessed, or what?!

I thank God for the people in my life. For my sons and their hemophilia, my husband and him following God's call on his life, for a family that has taken me in and always made me feel as their own.

It doesn't get much better.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. family
2. talent
3. half popped popcorn kernels (the best part!)
4. ice chests that leak
5. selfless gestures by sweet people

Intuition

Intuition - quick and ready insight; knowledge or conviction
"Mother's Intuition" - 98% on the money!

I think the moment I gave birth to my first child the "motherly intuition" gene was activated. It's that intuition that tells you when something bad is about to happen, when to turn and look right at the moment your toddler is climbing up the bookshelf, the sickening turn of your stomach when a doctor walks in your room and you know the news will be grim.

My motherly intuition is kicking into high gear today as my youngest son, "Christian", is having issues with his hemophilia. He is in pain when we infuse through his port and I just know something is wrong.

I am waiting for Christian to wake up from his nap so that we can (he's had a pretty bad shin bleed so we're infusing every three hours)see how he handles his infusion. If it doesn't go well, we're off to the emergency room for an x-ray. A great way to start the weekend.

I believe in intuition. Actually, I believe it's God speaking to you. That whisper, that nudge on your heart to call that long, lost friend. The desire to write a letter or send a special something to a relative who recently lost their spouse. That word of encouragement you are impressed to share with a dear friend. Those are the times God is speaking to us. To do His work. To show His love.

Has He nudged you lately? Did you dismiss that moment or act on it?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. lunch with a friend
2. feathers
3. a freshly baked cake that popped out of the pan
4. our new Wii
5. birthday parties

A Legacy

I have found a great freedom in writing. To put down the thoughts and feelings you have in your heart on paper is a release.

My sweet friend, Barbara, taught a creative writing class at our church last year. I took it not knowing what to expect and the first thing I wrote about was my brother. I never knew him. He was born before me and died at only five days old.

He was always a mystery. My mother and father never talked about him and when we went to visit his grave (in my Dad's hometown), my Mom never got out of the car. It had to have been too painful. I wish she would have talked about him and how she felt.

Years later, when my oldest son was diagnosed with Severe Hemophilia A, she was totally shaken and did not want me to tell anyone about it. I never understood her words that day in the hospital and she died five weeks later.

When my surprise baby came along, TEN YEARS LATER, and he also had Severe Hemophilia A we knew I carried the gene.

We put the pieces of the puzzle together. My brother did not die of "jaundice" as I was told, but his jaundice was the result of a head bleed. He was very brusied when he was born, so he went through a great deal of trauma.

Some people would rather not know the details of a persons past if there was something not "perfect". But some of us need to know details. It's the details that shape a person's legacy.

My brother had a short time here in this world. He left a legacy to my sons. Some may think that remembering something as painful would not be worth dwelling on, but I am glad that my boys will know that they were not the only ones in our family with hemophilia.

My brother was a blessing in the lives of my parents, even if he lived only a few short days. The legacy he passs on to my sons has been a tremendous blessing in too many ways to count.

All these years later, my brother urged me to write. To remember him. To ignite a passion I have within me. His legacy continues.

"I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus."
1 Corinthians 1:4

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my first story being publishe(about my brother in a Bleeding Disorder Publication)
2. legal pads
3. a green thumb
4. my son's love of music
5. Play Dough

Passion

As I am trying to find my direction in life, I have been asking myself, "What is my passion?" When you are so busy with daily life, sometimes it is hard to remember what you are passionate about.

I am passionate about speaking and preaching. I recently shared a message with our congregation and I felt so empowered by the words that God gave me that day.

I am passionate about scrapbooking. I love to create books which share the stories of my family. That they will always have those memories after I am long gone is a joy I cannot begin to express. I want them to remember our lives together.

I am passionate about music. There is nothing like sitting in an orchestra/band and playing music. I have lost this quite a bit since I've moved to a small town, but am dedicating myself to preparing a piece on the oboe/English horn to play at church at least once a month.

I know I have more passion in me, but these are my top three. What are yours? What are you passionate about?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. freshly, sharpened pencils
2. my old desklamp
3. friends who help out at the last minute
4. index cards
5. colored papers

Direction

Direction. Leading to a place or point.

Do you have direction in your life?

Right now I don't have a sense of direction. I think it's because I feel as if I don't have anything that is "my own" right now. When you have a spouse in seminary, it is pretty hard. (Especially if they travel out of town once a week to school.)

I just have to keep the prize in mind that this time next year he will be finished with school!

I am so busy keeping up with my job, the house and the kids that I am a little lost. Have you ever felt that way? What has helped you come out and find your direction? I would love to hear from you.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Mickey Mouse
2. ice water
3. encouragement on a work project
4. performing arts camp
5. grapes

Creating

I have a passion for scrapbooking.


A friend invited me to a class in January of 2007 and I've been hooked ever since. I love creating pages. My mind gets to travel places where I never dreamed when I look at a picture of my family. I think the details and colors that are in a photograph become more obvious to the scrapbooker.

But the joy is creating a beautiful page out of a blank page. A blank page where there are no mistakes, just your creation.



I love that there are no rules in scrapbooking. There is not a right or wrong way to present the memories of your family. It's exciting to know that these scrapbooks will be around for years after we are gone. They are a legacy.

You know, I think it's what God may have been thinking when he created the world.

There were no mistakes.
Everything was made out of love.

Remember, Beloved, you are not a mistake! God created you for this time, right now, the way you are!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the new store I found
2. small backpacks
3. planning a birthday party
4. the opportunity to preach yesterday
5. tablecloths

Our Motto

On our refrigerator is our family motto:

"Live Simply, Love Generously, Speak Kindly, Leave the Rest to God."

I stopped and read it the other day and really started to think about each statement.

"Live Simply"
That's a hard one. We are always striving for more/better. More things, the newest model of game or iPod. Things do not make us who we are. I've been keeping the "Live Simply" idea at the front of my mind. Stuff is stuff. To live simply, we need less stuff, that's why I've been decluttering like a madwoman. My garage looks great!

"Love Generously"
When it comes to my children this is a no brainer. But what about a member at church who has been rude to your child? That's a hard one. But I have realized that to love doesn't mean hugging and showing affection, but it also means to earnestly pray for someone, while you are working on forgivenss. I pray daily for others and some people are on my list that are not necessarily my closest of friends.

"Speak Kindly"
I really do take Ephesians 4:29 to heart: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Words can hurt worse than any pain inflicted on a person. I've used words in the past that still haunt me.

"Leave the Rest to God"
This is not as easy as it sounds. We have to surrender our lives to God daily. There are only so many things that are truly in our control. Everything else, we must leave in the hands of the Almighty.


Do you have a family motto? I'd love to hear it!



Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the opportunity to preach this Sunday
2. "hearing" my son sleep
3. late night grocery shopping
4. old cards
5. planning a day off

The Gospel According to...

I've joined a new Sunday School class at church. Bible 101. It's great because we break everything down and our teacher (my hubby) gives us some great back ground information (seminary is paying off).

See, I don't have the Sunday School background that many people have. I never went to Sunday School classes. It all came to me late in life, so all of the basics I can put my hands around I truly soak up.

We were talking about why certain books of the Bible were included and others not (i.e. the Apocrypha). Why are Matthew, Mark, Luke and John the only Gospels included in the canon of the New Testament?

This is interesting stuff.

Why don't we write our own Gospel? Gospel means "Good News." Aren't we all living out our own Gospel story?

I found this to be an interesting thought that was brought up this morning. We all have a story. We all have a story of how Christ has changed our life. We all have incidents where the Holy Spirit has moved and directed us in ways we never dreamed. Why not write them down? Why not share our Gospel story with our future generations?

I challenge you to write your story. No one else can write it with the passion and truth that you can.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Going to "lunch with the ladies"

2. phone appointments

3. eyeglass cases

4. angels

5. pinecones

Be Still Sunday

Bloggy Break

I'm taking a bit of a bloggy break. I'll be back on Monday. It's been a hard week.

Blessings to you all,

Be

Over the past couple of weeks in my weekly depression support group, we have been talking about being still. Our leader took the scripture Psalm 46:10 and gave us a new perspective.


"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

He sent His son to die for our sins, only God is strong enough to make that sacrifice.

"Be still and know that I am."


God is mighty and all powerful. He created the heavens and the earth and knew us in the womb.

"Be still and know."

Slow down and listen. Listen to the things around you that only our mighty Father could bless you with…happiness, children, family, trials, tribulations.

"Be still."

We don't have to run from one thing to the next. Stop and be still for a moment. Listen for His voice.

"Be."

We often are too scared to stop running and just be. Are you running from something or someone? Just be and let God intervene.



Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Candle warmers
2. Old pens
3. Fun tennis shoes
4. Toys to pick up
5. Possibilities

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

My husband is in his last year of seminary. He flies from El Paso to Denver once a week. It's a rought schedule, but the Lord has provided in so many ways for all of us through his schooling. The winds are pretty intense in this part of the country during the Spring so flying can be pretty turbulent.

During one particularly rough flight, a flight attendant started up a conversation with my husband. She told him that he shouldn't stress out about the turbulence. The pilot was following the flight plan. When changes are needed, he would adjust the route.

It's like our relationship with God. We want to follow the plan He has laid out for us and get to the ultimate, a deep personal relationship with Him knowing we have done His will, but there are bumps in the road. Bumps that get us off the track to that relationship. Bumps that steer us into other directions. Bumps that test our faith.

If we focus on God, we get through the storms and always go directly to Him.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hot tea
2. a dripping faucet
3. magnets
4. paper flowers
5. handmade cards

Practice Makes Perfect

In my "former life" I was a a middle school band director. I worked with students who were just starting to learn how to play their instruments (my favorite part) and with students who had a year or two of experience. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed my years of teaching.

One thing I was insistent on was practicing. How in the world could you improve if you didn't practice? I even taught my students how to practice so that they would get the most out of their time.

Some people believe in the saying "Practice Makes Perfect." I don't know if it makes perfect, but it will indeed bring you closer to your goal.

I believe it's the same with the time we spend with God. We have to practice being in His presence. Have you slipped away from God? Are your days not filled with as much peace as you would like? Then cry out to God and let Him know that you want to be more involved with Him. You want to be in His presence.

We have to practice being in His presence and make it a daily commitment.

Maybe the best time for you is when you wake up and are lying in bed before your feet even touch the floor. It could be after you get the kids off to school and you sit and have your cup of coffee with Him. If you work full time, it may be during your lunch break, or try setting an alarm that will go off every hour on the hour so that you spend a minute with God each hour throughout your workday.

There are many ways to practice the presence of God. The important thing is, to just do it. It will change your life.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new craft projects
2. the ladies in my support group
3. coasters
4. big, plastic tumblers
5. old photographs

Impressions

I work for a home health care company and am very fortunate to work from my "home office." Actually, my office is located in the choir room of our church where my husband is the Music Minister. I moved in a couple of years ago when my depression was starting to eat my lunch. Our pastor did not hesitate and invited me in so that I would be part of the staff family during the workday.

As I go about doing my work, (I have two laptops running daily) people come and go as well as the children who come back a couple of days a week for reherasals. One day, the pastor's daughter asked me, "Cazandra, what exactly is your job?" I gave her a scaled down answer that a 5th grader would understand and she replied, "Oh, I thought you were a wedding planner."

Isn't it funny, the impressions we make on people? The things that run through other people's minds of what we do, what we illustrate on a daily basis. That is why I am so passionate about "oozing." I want people to know that Christ is in my heart. That there is something special that fuels me. That I live my life to exemplify love in all things.

Are you an "oozer?" Have you been one in the past and perhaps let the world take over and diminsh what you believe?

Recommit to Christ. All you have to do is open the line of communication.

Reconnect with Christ. There is no "right" way. Just start talking to Him. He knows the desires of your heart.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. plastic tubs
2. unexpected phone calls
3. green fabric
4. ribbon
5. Diet Cherry Cokes

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

A life filled with fear has little room left for faith.

One of my favorite stories is found in Luke 7:36-50, where the sinful woman who took huge steps of faith when she walked up to Jesus in a room full of Pharisees and anointed His feet with tears and perfume. She wasn't afraid of what it would cost her, although it was a big risk and a huge sacrifice.

She knew what she hoped for and was uncertain of what she could not see. Her faith saved her with each step she took toward Jesus.

I used to live a life filled with fear. Fear of death, fear of a relative, fear of the phone ringing, fear of the future. It was miserable.

It wasn't until God made His way back into my heart and I professed my faith that things got better.

What steps are you taking towards Jesus?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. kleenex
2. my new inspiration board
3. pretty notecards
4. article clippings
5. Celebration

Circumstances

My mind is a dangerous neighborhood to walk alone. We can get in our heads and start thinking really negative thoughts. As Mothers' Day has come and gone, I start to evaluate my being a mother. Am I doing the right things for my children, am I saying the right things to my tween during this difficult year he has had. Am I being attentive enough to my three year old?

Oh, the questions and doubts go on and on and on. But something happened Monday afternoon.

I received a call from my little one's daycare because he started to limp...a sure sign he is having a bleed (both of my boys have Severe Hemophilia). I rushed over to daycare and talked to him, watched him walk and realized he was definitely having a bleed. I scooped him up and off we went to the house to infuse.

We get to the house and start the process, a fast bath (because he has critters under his neck), then we infuse. It all happens at lightning speed with no doubt...no confusion.

I have come to the belief that God blesses us with different circumstances. Circumstances that may deal with health issues, family, work. Circumstances that are designed for each of us to weather. Hemophilia just happens to be ours and the Lord has blessed us tremendously with Hemophilia.

The circumstances God has laid at our feet are not to be thought of as a curse but a blessing. The old adage, "God never gives us more than we can handle" is true! Remember God created beauty out of chaos. Be blessed by your difficulties, because with God, all things are possible.

"We are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. factor replacement
2. new glasses
3. new projects at work
4. hairclips
5. fresh starts

A Little Sign

Mother's Day is a difficult day for me. I lost my mother in 1996, five weeks after my oldest son was born. That is when he was diagnosed with Severe Hemophilia.

I was lost without my mother in those early days of being a new mom. Even though I had a wonderful husband helping to understand our son's illness and my dad and sister around me, it's never the same without your Mama.

When I woke up yesterday and was getting ready for church I looked over and saw the first bloom of the season on my violet. It warmed my heart. It's almost as if my Mom was telling me "Hello, Cazandra, I love you."




I believe God sends us those moments in our lives. Little glimpses of Him and the angels that surround Him. I'll take those moments, they warm my heart.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. violets
2. a day of rest
3. loose fitting pants
4. being organized
5. Mork & Mindy

Be Still Sunday

Empty

I have nothing today. I am a bit empty. I am struggling with a concept of "Is God enough?"

I will be in prayer about this and be back on Monday.

Blessings to you all.

Daddy

I've been missing my Dad an awful lot lately. He passed away on my 39th birthday, October 7, 2007. It was a hard day but I was excited to know he was no longer in pain and was reunited with my mom, the love of his life, and better yet, in the presence of God.

I always called my Dad "Dude." "Hey, Dude, what's up?" I would say. I still can't remember why I called him that but it was my term of endearment for him. I adored my Daddy...my "Dude."

I've been studying a book Praying the Names of God, by Ann Spangler, and she goes through and focuses on a particular names of God each week. It has been eye opening.

At first I thought, why are there so many names of God, why not just God? But I have come to realize that for people in the ancient world names carried a great deal more significance than in our modern world. Names didn't only identify you as a person but they identified your character.

So far, my favorite is El Roi (El raw-EE) The God Who Sees Me. God made himself known to Hagar when she was in the desert and she is the one who named him El Roi. He saw her like no one else. He saw the fear and difficulties she was going through but He stood by her and told her to "Go back to your mistress and submit to her."

What did El Roi do? He blessed her with numerous descendants, too many to count. He never left her.

I have a strong faith in "El Roi". He sees the person I am when no one else is looking. He sees who I am when I struggle with overeating, with saying the right things, with being prouductive at work, even when I want to slip into my pit of depression because it feels like the safest place to be.

My God, my El Roi knows me better than any person on earth. Do I bless Him with my time in prayer and thanksgiving? Do I truly honor Him in all that I am?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. frozen dinners
2. 3 lbs gone!
3. spots on the carpet
4. barking dogs
5. a semi clean garage

A Wonderful Message

I had the wonderful blessing of hearing Liz Curtis Higgs speak this past Saturday. She is the author of the Bad Girls of the Bible series, along with numerous other works. She is a hoot! I heard her a year ago in Houston so to have heard this amazing woman of God speak twice is a tremendous blessing to me.

She presented on three women of the Bible, Hagar, Sarah and Leah. It was wonderful teaching. But more than anything what I appreciated the most was hearing Liz's testimony interwoven throughout her presentation. I'd heard it before, but it really touched me this second time around. She is a self proclaimed "FBG", Former Bad Girl.

What did I bring back from God speaking through her Saturday? That God loves us exactly the way we are, right now. Liz reminded me that we, as women, are always in a state of apology. Have you been there? Apologizing for letting our bodies go, apologizing for not nurturing relationships, apologizing for not "being the best" all of the time.

We have to stop apologizing and give God the glory. In all things, in all circumstances. He has a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and we have to go through many things to receive what He has in store for us.

Stop apologizing...give Him the glory!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. safe travels for my husband
2. baskets
3. an old, unfinished trunk
4. bubbles
5. being remembered

Be Still Sunday

A Mustard Seed

I meet with a group of ladies once a week. It is a depression support group. We are a tight knit bunch from all walks of life and we meet to help keep each other in check. It's a really good thing.

So many issues came out of our meeting yesterday. Issues that didn't necessarily pertain to each of us but issues about the ones we love. Talk about having faith come in.

Faith that tests at the hospital will come out with positive results, faith that traveling constantly will bring a husband home safely each week, faith that we won't let the negative side of things (aka Satan) get hold of us and move us down the path of depression. Faith that we will get over our physical ailments and enjoy life to the fullest.

Isn't that the hardest thing to do? To have faith when things look grim. Sometimes all we have is faith as small as a mustard seed and that is what must get us through to the next moment.

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. shampoo from the salon
2. eating well
3. ribbons
4. flip flops
5. events to look forward to

So Good to Me

I sing in the Praise Choir at our church and last night we spent some time singing "requests". After we prepared for Sunday, we had some fun singing our favorites. I wanted to share the lyrics to one in particular.



God Has Been so Good to Me



God has been so good to me

God has been so good to me

I've done nothing to deserve

All the blessings poured on me

Yet my God has been good to me



So with every breath within me I will praise Him

The ever faithful One who gave new life to me

Though the journey has been long

And the road sometimes gets rough

He has always been right beside me guiding me



It's a simple, yet powerful song. We don't "deserve." I recently heard someone say that "deserve" is a dangerous word. Yet God blesses us with way more than we can ever dream we would have in our lives.



Have you thought about the things in your life you have been blessed with? It puts everything into perspective.

I have a friend from church with no insurance and no money who is extremely sick. Watching her struggle just breaks my heart. But she is one of the first people to speak of God's blessings and glory.



What are you taking for granted today? Have you thanked God lately?



Today I Am Thankful For:



1. great music

2. bike rides

3. catalogs

4. rubber bands

5. big t-shirts

An Original

My husband and I actually went on a date to the movies yesterday, without the kids. I highly recommend The Soloist. It is a fantastic movie about the transformation of a man (and the music is outstanding)!

We had some extra time so we walked through the mall . I was surrouned by hundreds of people and noticed that the quiet was deafening. I didn't have my children with me and I admit I was a little lost. Is that crazy or what?!

We get so attached to our family that when we are alone we can struggle to know who we are. Has that ever happened to you?

We have to be careful and not let being "a mom, daughter, sister, aunt, grandmother, etc." define us.

The ultimate truth is that we are children of God! God doesn't make mistakes...You are an original.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a new attitude
2. my bluetooth
3. new bible study
4. Nilla wafers
5. chipped fingernails

Be Still Sunday

Not now

Faith is...

confidence that God is acting for my highest good when He answers ‘NO’ to my prayers. Pamela Reeve

Not just No, but Not Now.

I have recently come to the realization that there are several things in my life that God has said "not now" to.

It's so frustrating! For example, I really want to go to She Speaks this year, but the budget just doesn't allow for it. I know God is telling me to wait, that another year will be the year I "need" to go. But I sure want to go now.

Have you ever had God tell you not now?

When God has you wait for the right moment, maybe it is to go to a conference, the words spoken then will bless your heart in a way that you are not ready to hear right now. I truly believe that.

As good as something looks right now, it will be even better when all the circumstances allow for you to take part in the event or the decision.

God's timing is perfect.

I think we caught up, just as much as our children, in this day and age of instant gratification. The remote control, the video games, cell phones, laptops......the list goes on.

Stop, take a breath, and think about what it is that God is asking you to do in your daily life. It may not be a difficult as making a big financial decision, but it may be a decision which helps to shape not just your life, but the lives of those around you.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. No more stitches!
2. Shaped with Purpose
3. fax machines
4. good deeds
5. Hobby Lobby

Being Still

My morning devotional/quiet time is going really well, and I have been very consistent with only a few interruptions, but there is one thing missing…my being still and listening to the Lord.

Any ideas? What works for you? My mind just races with things to do for the day and I can't shut it off! I had a counselor want me to work on meditating…little by little. Maybe I just didn't give it enough time.

Do you meditate?

I want to truly live the verse

"Speak Lord, for your servant is listening." 1Samuel 3:9

I know there are times when we listen to God and we are not exactly in a meditative state. I truly believe I hear Him, but I want to deepen my relationship with Him and give Him that time.

Does that make sense?


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Weekly menus
2. Leftover Easter candy
3. Extension cords
4. Alarm clocks
5. Stuffed animals

The Widow's Mite

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is in Luke 21:1-4 (also found in Mark 12:41-44). The Jews were told to give to the Temple and to the poor as part of their service to God (just as we are). One day Jesus sat at the Temple and watched as people came and put money into the offering boxes. Some of the rich gave quite a bit of money, and some gave begrudgingly. Then there was a poor, widow woman who came up to the offering boxes. She put in two of the smallest coins, mites (like pennies). Those that watched her were not impressed, but Jesus was. He saw that she gave willingly, from her heart, all that she had.

Where were her next pennies coming from? I'm not sure if she knew, but she trusted God completely.

Do you trust God the same way…with your whole heart?

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

This is my favorite necklace.

My husband bought it for me and the coin inside the cross is a reminder of the widow's mite. I pray that when I give to the Lord it is with my whole heart. Money, time, talent, prayers…everything.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Runny noses
2. Dust
3. Incense
4. Water hoses on warm days
5. Kids going back to school!

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

Faith is...ceasing to worry, leaving the FUTURE to the God who controls the future. Pamela Reeve

I have been thinking alot about the future lately. Since our friend recently died, mortality has reared its head and you can't help but think about such things.

My eyes have been opened up and I have realized that I need to get my papers in order. Financial, wills, DNR, my household binder. I have gotten a good start, but have quite a bit of work left to do.

I am a great worrier. One of the best I dare say. But what I have to remember is to leave it all in the hands of God. He knows when it's time for us to come home and there is nothing we can do about it!

As Beth Moore recently wrote,

"This, Beloved, is what we live for. Not for just another day here. But for that very day there."

I get so wrapped up in what my life is here on earth that I forget that my eternal reward is truly that, a reward. The ultimate place to be. I have a place ready for me. The Father is waiting on me. It's such a comforting reality.

Another Beth Moore'ism I've come to love is,

"If you're still breathing, you ain't done yet."

We're not done, Beloved. We have so much to do. Don't get caught up in the worry of what might happen and when it will happen. It will rob us of the joys we have in our daily living.

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:27


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. day trips
2. my dad's desk lamp
3. coasters
4. kleenex
5. healing wounds

Early Morning

For the past couple of months things have been going extremely well for me. I just realized what the difference has been...my morning quiet/devotional time.

I get up around 5:15, get dressed (makeup and all), let the dogs out, then I read a chapter from Praying the Names of God, followed by my One Year Bible reading (I'm on January 17th :), then I blog/write until 7 am when it's time to get the kids moving.

I love this time to myself. The house is quiet and I feel like I can breathe before the day gets started.

I think routine is important. And most important is taking care of ourselves. Giving myself time in the morning is a gift. I am putting myself first before the other million and one requests that come at me starting at 7 am!

Maybe you are not a morning person and the thought of getting up before 7 is just not appealing. What about midday or right before bed? Do you have a time that you seal off just for yourself on a regular basis? Try it. Bring some focus to your day. What works for you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. bike riding
2. rolls of stamps
3. tray tables
4. three hole punches
5. days off

Rusty

We received some tragic news yesterday. Our former pastor (Joe was his music director), Rusty, was preparing for Easter services on Sunday morning, getting wired for sound, when he dropped dead. At age 53 he dropped dead, in church, on Easter morning. Some of the youth were there trying to administer CPR. God be with those children.

I am stunned. The wind was knocked out of both me and my husband. How could Rusty be dead? He was only 53.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, each and every day we get is one more than we deserve. It can all be over in a flash. We can go home to see the Lord at any time.

As I am in my fortieth year, I've been thinking alot about mortality and this event just put it into high speed for me.

What business do you have undone? What if you went home to the Lord right now?

I have been on a mission to get our financial binder in order. Account numbers, addresses, where to find everything just in case. I need to know where everything is and I have been guilty of putting my head in the sand where finances are concerned.

I have made a commitment to be actively involved in the financial matters of my home. To many of you that may sound crazy because you already are financially aware of everything. That's great! But for those of you who aren't, it's not too late.

If I go home to the Lord soon there are several things I want to have in order for my family. My will, wishes as I am on my deathbed with machines keeping me alive, and letters written to the ones I love.

Have you written letters to the special people in your life for after you have left this world?

My mother left me a letter. It was in her Bible and right after she passed away, her best friend knew where it was and she gave it to me. I treasure that letter. I see it often as it is in my Bible.

If you have not considered leaving some written words behind for your loved ones, I encourage you to do so. It will serve as a treasured memory, a piece of your heart for them to always have.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. band-aids
2. bookmarks
3. Dave Ramsey
4. My Daily Docket
5. notebooks

My Best Friend

"Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?" Corrie ten Boom

Do you find yourself becoming complacent? You know, just going on with the routine of daily living? If things are going well do you tend to not pray, or not have your devotional time? Maybe you just put it off and will spend time with the Lord "later in the day", and you never do. Life happens and you get busy.

I think we all tend to get caught up in life.

The busyness.

The schedules.

The expectations.

The potty training.......

I challenge you, as you are being busy to remember the One who died for you. The One who knew your inmost being before you were in your mother's womb. The One who loves you regardless of the crazy mistakes you make and regardless of the less than holy thoughts that run through your mind.

Prayer is our direct line to God. It is the way we develop our relationship with Him. For so many years I thought there was a certain way I was supposed to pray.

Only kneeling.

Say the "Our Father" first.

Hands together, not folded, etc. etc.

That's sooo not it! When I realized God just wanted communication with us and I that I could talk to him like a best friend, I never looked back! If I'm driving in the car, I talk to Him as if He was sitting next to me. If I'm cooking dinner, I talk to Him. You get the picture? God is my best friend!

He knows everything about me. I can't hide anything from Him. He knows the thoughts running through my head and the desires of my heart.

I have to spend time with Him everyday. He's with me always.

Do you spend time with Him daily?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. great recovery from carpal tunnel surgery
2. legal pads
3. silly string
4. plastic eggs
5. chocolate

Faith Friday's

Faith is…

thanking God when I am left with shattered plans, that He has better plans. Pamela Reeve

I've been thinking alot about my past. (I think it has something to do with turning 40 this year.) I have had my share of obstacles, and life has not necessarily been easy, but you know what? I wouldn't change a thing!

When I think about the "perfect life" I had planned, I had no idea I was giving God a great big, belly laugh!


I had plans of living in the big city, children with no health problems, great family relationships, plenty of money in the bank.....and the list can go on. It cracks me up that I actually live in the desert. I mean, I am a city girl who lives with a flock of buzzards in my tree! However, my childern are healthy, despite their hemophilia. That can be a challenge, but it's all about perspective. I have a family member who won't speak to me anymore...I never dreamed we would have strife between us, but only the Lord can heal that broken relationship. As for money in the bank...we continue to work on that. With my husband in Seminary and traveling to Denver once a week, it proves to be difficult, but I know the Lord has blessed us with the financial ability to see this through for my husband.


What is perfect? I don't think there is a such thing. I do know that we must have faith in all things. Faith that the next right thing will happen despite our situation. Faith that God will never leave us hanging out to dry. Faith that when we put our trust in Him the absolute best will happen for us.

I pray that you have faith in your life. Faith in Jesus. Faith in all things good.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. preparing to get carpal tunnel surgery (TODAY)
2. digital clocks in the night
3. growling stomaches
4. small, wooden boxes
5. an abundance of books

Moments

I have this written in my notebook. It's simple and powerful. Enjoy!

Happy moments - Praise God
Difficult moments - Seek God
Quiet moments - Worship God
Painful moments - Trust God
Every moment - Thank God

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. fuzzy socks
2. webinars
3. labels
4. early morning quiet time
5. headphones

I Am Inspired!

Wow! What a fabulous idea to bring in some great speakers from all over the cournty to your computer screen! The A Woman Inspired Conference is doing just that. Yesterday was such a blessing. Even though I was not able to hear all of the sessions, I'll be able to download them later this week to watch at my convenience.

Yours truly will be speaking on Wednesday, April 8th at 8:30 am CST. My topic is "Forty" and Qualified! I hope you can join me. Get your coffee and tune in!

Blessings to you all,


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Jack and Sharon, my "technical support"
2. an old lamp in a new place
3. designed binders
4. webcams
5. magnets

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

I pray daily for people. I have a list written on my bathroom mirror (in Expo marker) of requests that I lift up to the Lord everyday.


Days and even weeks go by sometimes before I hear of any result. I did get an email from a friend whose Dad is in remission from cancer! What a wonderful feeling to know your prayers have helped someone.

You need to have a tremendous amount of faith to continue praying with no answers. Sometimes we get answers we don't like, such as a diagnosis, a condition worsening, someone not forgiving. But faith is the cornerstone of what we believe.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

Faith is expecting God to work miracles. Pamela Reeve

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. A Woman Inspired
Conference
2. grapes
3. my wallet being found!
4. two jobs
5. 3 ring binders

Patience

Patience. Do you have any? My Dad was the most patient man in the world. Unfortunately, I did not inherit that trait from him!

I have injured my shoulder for a second time within a few months and the process to find the problem just takes time.

You have to schedule your first appointment, then come back for an MRI (after your insurance has been confirmed) then you come back for the results, and in the meantime you go for an initial visit to the physical therapist and start physical therapy...which takes time! And to top it all off, I am having Carpal Tunnel Surgery next week, which just delays my therapy! Argh!

I just want to feel better. Surely it can't be because I am getting older...

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control." Galatians 5:22

This verse says it all about being an "oozer." I wish it was easier, you know, to let the light of Christ shine through all you do, but it's hard work. But it sure is worth it.


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. quiet
2. ice
3. meetings
4. my daily Bible reading plan
5. decluttering

Blessed...

I am in a quest to know more about the Bible. I have a daily reading plan (I'm pretty good M-F) and ask lots of questions to my seminary student husband.

My Sunday reading brought me to Matthew 5, The Beatitudes. I've read it many times before, even sung a version of it, but I never heard it like I did when I read "The Message" version. Here it is:

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'carefull,' you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate insead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

Not only that--count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for confort and they are uncomfortable." Matthew 5:3-11, The Message

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. White Sands
2. family
3. media cards
4. bike riding
5. cats & dogs

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

I live in the desert. Green lawns and trees are rare. Most of what you see in the way of landscaping is xeriscaped. I have grown to love the desert. What we don't have in traditional greenery we have in mountains, mesquite and cactus flowers.

However, I ran across a beautiful sight yesterday. Something that is not "supposed" to bloom in the desert. Something that doesn't "belong".














A breathtaking Wisteria vine.

Someone had an amazing amount of faith to plant those seeds and follow through. I saw what the result was, absolute beauty and a tremendous amount of faith.


Don't you want your faith to be like that? Unwavering, undoubting. I strive for that, fall short often, but know that God's grace is new every morning and I start all over again.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. daily Bible readings
2. scrapbooking
3. a new challenge
4. rubber bands
5. losing another pound!

A Story to Tell

Have you ever been in line at the store and just looked at the person in front of you? I mean really looked. Think about everything that has happened in your life and realize that they, too, have a story to tell.

Gospel singer, Larnelle Harris, has a great song, "A Story to Tell."

So often we get wrapped up in our daily lives and are worried about ourselves and our children, our spouses, that we forget about others. Especially when I get frustrated and the person in line needs a price check or has to put some items back, is when I need to remember, this person has a story and it is as important as mine is.

Take a moment and pray for that person in line, the person next to you at work, your child's teacher...they all have stories.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the last bit of orange juice
2. lists
3. mechanical pencils
4. a new t-shirt (Hook Em')
5. menus

I'm So Excited!

Last week I submitted a video for consideration to the "A Woman Inspired Conference" and I found out last night that it was selected!

They also offered me a 20 minute spot to share with their audience on April 8th at 8:30 am CST. I am really excited! This is truly God telling me that I am headed in the right direction.

Do you ever need those nudges and bits of confirmation? When they come through it's amazing. You truly know that when you are stepping out in faith and you get that confirmation from God, you are truly doing what He has called you to do. It's an amazing feeling.

By the way, for more information on the conference, visit http://www.awomaninspiredconference.org/. The registration fee is $12.95 through April 1st so sign up soon!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. opened doors
2. Facebook friends
3. morning quiet time
4. ice packs
5. following my heart

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

It's been a really difficult week at our church. We have had several people go into the hospital, one on life support. She was at my house for a party over the holiday's, full of life and energy, and now she is fighting for her life. I also think about the actress Natasha Richardson and her tragic death this past week. She was beautiful, young and had the world in front of her, but it was her time to go home to the Lord.

Maybe it's my age, but I think about going home to the Lord quite a bit. What are the things I haven't done yet that I need to do? Will I be prepared or will it happen suddenly? What relationships have I not yet mended...will those involved reciprocate?

I realize I have to have faith in Christ where all of this is concerned. I have to give up all my worries about death to Him, because I have faith in Him that all things happen according to His plan.

Remember fear and worry are the flip side of faith.

"According to your faith will it be done to you." Matthew 9:29

I have a tremendous faith in God. Faith that the next right thing will happen in His time.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. breakfast with friends
2. 2nd place in the essay contest (my son)
3. homecooked meals
4. toy cars
5. God's provision - all the time

Ruby

I used to have the "typical" relationship with my mother-in-law, Ruby. We couldn't be in the same room together! At that time my mother would always fuss at me and tell me, "She is going to be around longer than me so you better be nice!"

Well, my mom was right. She went home to the Lord five weeks after my oldest was born. He's now twelve. I miss her. But I heeded her advice and began to mend the relationship I had with Ruby so many years ago.

I don't know what I would do without Ruby. She is an amazing Granny to my boys (my three year old calls her "Gee") and just a great mom to me and my husband.

With my parents both being gone and my sister out of my life, she is all I have in the way of family. Her entire side of the family has taken me in, not as "Joe's wife" but as their niece, couisin, and daughter. Ruby is the oldest of nine brothers and sisters, so it is a large family. In a large family there is always "junk" but they have never allowed the "junk" to get in the way of loving each other.

I've learned alot from my extended family. They have never left me all alone. Love is the most important thing of all.

"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." Psalm 36:5

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Ruby coming in for a visit
2. worn out slippers
3. flash drives
4. courage
5. an old necklace

A Woman Inspired Online Conference

If there is an opportunity to go to a women's conference or hear a women's speaker at a local church, I am first in line. I get inspired by women. Hearing their stories, their struggles, their victories. They are just like me.

Here is an amazing opportunity for you to hear some of the top Christian Women speakers in the country for only $19.95 - $24.95 and you don't have to leave your house!

A Woman Inspired is an online audio conference that uses the internet as its venue. You may either listen to the speakers in real time or download their presentations to listen to at your leisure. The conference will be April 6th - April 9th.

Visit the home page www.awomaninspiredconference.org for more information.

Please take a moment to view my video sumbission for the conference. I may be asked to be their next speaker!

Made

There is a Contemporary Christian song that I simply love. It's "Made" by Caleb Rowden. The words are simple, yet powerful.

Take a listen. Enjoy!


Made - Live from Studio B from Caleb Rowden on Vimeo.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. My friend Jack
2. professionalism
3. my husband's critiques
4. blimps
5. plastic tubs

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

I will admit that I have been walking in a cloud of fear for several days. The fear stemmed from uncertainty about my job. It's absolutely nothing I can control. Does that sound familiar?

Have you walked in fear because you had no control over a situation?

The result is that I had three really bad days. Days I wasn't good to myself or my family. I finally got out of it by relying on my faith in God. (Something I should have been doing all along.) I was weak and the enemy knows where my weaknesses are so he goes right on in and takes advanatage. Unfortuantely, I went right along with him.

"Fear is the flip side of faith."

I have been living in fear of the unknown and you know what? It's exhausting. It also robs you of joy.

The end result, I found out great news concerning my job and was told the team I work on was safe from layoffs! Praise God!

So often we get caught up in the issues of the world. What we need to remember is that God is in control of our lives. Down to every last detail. We need to have faith in Him that everything will turn out for His glory.

When your faith starts to waver ask yourself if your relationship with God is active. Are you talking and praying to Him everyday or just when things are not going well? Move your relationship with Him to another level by keeping in constant contact with Him.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. packages in the mail
2. bookmarks
3. potty training
4. briefcases
5. laundry baskets

Noise

I thought I would get a little writing done last night but there was something just too wonderful going on around me.

It was the noise in my house.

My husband and I rushed home from a meeting a church to get dinner on the table. After dinner it seemed as if the noise in my home was at an all time high.

My oldest practicing his oboe, my husband on the phone, and my little one racing around the living room with the dogs barking and the washer and dryer were churning. It was absolutely beautiful. I stepped away from the computer and felt a warmth consume me.

How blessed am I? More than I ever dreamed. I know there are many people who would do anything in the world to have what I have. Two beautiful children, an amazing husband and two high maintenance Shelties!

So many times we get caught up in trying to do the things we are supposed to do. Keeping up with the laundry, cooking dinner, doing schoolwork, and we get overwhelmed and develop tunnel vision.

Stop and listen. Look at what you have. Aren't you fortunate to have clothes to wash? What about food to cook and schoolwork to finish? Find the blessings around you. Even in the mundane. Make everything special.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Netflix
2. barking dogs
3. peace
4. scotch tape
5. finger paintings

The Lord Provides

Do you ever think you aren't good enough? Or that you don't deserve God's best?

This past week I dealt with some issues that stemmed from my work and they sent me in a tailspin. It was not pretty. I was so upset and out of sorts that I did not take my "cocktail of meds" for my depression for several days. It's not that I didn't want to take them, it's that I felt I didn't deserve to feel good or function well. (I know, it makes no sense.)

I was so doubtful during my little meltdown. I doubted that everything would work out...most of all I doubted that God would take care of me and my family. I feel terrible about having gone there.

I am reading Praying the Names of God, by Ann Spangler, and one of my favorite names is Yahweh Yireh, The Lord Will Provide. Yahweh Yireh, is the God who sees the situation beforehand and is able to provide your needs. I find comfort in this name. The Lord Will Provide.

He has so far, and He is not going to stop now. We cannot second guess what He is up to in our lives, but how are we going to be involved in what He is doing? That is the question we should be asking ourselves.

"What is God up to and how can I be involved?"


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hiking
2. calendars
3. The Doug Hallock Band
4. highlighters
5. dust

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

Faith is...rejecting the feeling of panic when things seem out of control – His control. Pamela Reeve

I like to be in control. I'm not a big fan of surprises (the occasional one is okay). I like to know what is coming along next. When you live the life of a pastor's wife, that is not the case during this time of year.

In the Methodist Church, pastors move according to the Appointment System. This is the time of year a pastor will know if they are staying at their current church or if they will be moving at the beginning of June.

We are currently up to have a possible appointment this summer. Did you hear me say "possible?" My husband is still in school and at the point where he can get an appointment. We just don't know yet.

Also, my job has alot of uncertainty and there are so many things that have changed and I have no control over them. I can get upset and frustrated, but that is all I can do.

Where is my faith in all of this? Yesterday, it was practically nonexistent. I am praying today will be a better day and that I can see the promises God has put in front for me. I presently have a good job and need to be thankful for the freedom is allows me, and regardless of whether we move or not, we have a great place to live and my husband has a job.

Some days are easier than others to practice our faith. We need to strive and practice it all of the time. Surrender to Him each and every day. He hasn't let us down yet, so why would He start now?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. wet hair
2. cold mornings
3. spreadsheets
4. support groups
5. yellow buses

What to Do Next

Have you ever gone in a direction (answered God's call to do something) and wondered if you did the right thing? I have answered God's call in my speaking ministry, but things are not moving ahead. Have I done the right thing? What is next?

There is something very important I need to remember:

"It's not what God wants me to do, but what is God up to and how can I be involved?"

It' also about timing. My time and God's are not the same. Just because I want something to move forward and I think I'm ready for the next step doesn't mean God agrees. I have to slow down and listen to Him.

I think I move too fast sometimes. Maybe God wants me to slow it down and reflect on what is happening in my life.

I want to be involved in what God is doing in my life, I just need to slow down and listen.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. emory boards
2. smelly dogs
3. stuffed animals
4. index cards
5. new books

Always Searching

I ran across some old notebooks, you know the kind where you write a few notes from sermons or retreats and you never use the notebook again? I have stacks of them! I decided to tear out those few pages that were here and there and put them in one place. I mean if I wrote it down it must have meant something important to me.

I found a gem.

"God created us with a spirit jump started to find Him. We are not born saved. We are always searching."

I am always searching and it's evident by my office. I have tons of empty notebooks (with the intention of journaling), bible studies (I've yet to do, but will get to), several Bibles, books of prayer, books on encouragement, blogs I've marked as faves on my laptop, the list goes on.

I am on a search. To be in His presence. I do have a relationship with God. A deep one. But I am always looking for ways to strengthen my relationship with Him. I think that is a good thing. When we become complacent in our search, we tend to forget about God until we need to lean on Him in tough times. I definitely don't want to slip into that routine.

Yes, God is there we times are tough, but God is with us always. He delights in our relationship and looks forward to meeting with us everyday.

Have you sat and had your coffee with God this morning? Maybe the two of you visit while you are driving to work, while you are putting on your makeup, or you talk with Him before your feet even touch the ground in the morning. Whenever works best, make sure you make time for Him today and everyday.

Today I Am Thanful For:

1. pretty, spiral notebooks
2. a de cluttered office
3. funky Sketchers
4. old pictures
5. floppy disks

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

Faith is recognizing that God is the LORD of TIME when my idea of timing doesn’t agree with His. Pamela Reeve

Have you ever been there? Waiting and wondering why things aren't moving along the way you think they should? You've done the studying, the homework, the legwork, and you are expecting the next step. So, why isn't anything happening?

Our idea of time and God's may not exactly be the same.

Isn't that frustrating? When we think we have answered a call in our lives and are simply doing what seems to be the right thing, then we get stuck. No matter what we do to try and move forward, we stay stuck.

It's God's way of saying "Not yet. Be patient." I don't know about you, but patient has never been used to describe me! But we often have to take a deep breath, sit back, and continue to pray for God's will to be done.

"God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect." Hebrews 11:40

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my Parallel Bible
2. iTunes
3. incense
4. smelling Spring
5. my vaccum cleaner back from the shop

Letting Go

Raising children is a joy. But at times, when they hit those "tween" years, you want to trade them in!

The age we live in is so different than when we were kids. I remember going off all day long on my bike with my friends and calling that an awesome Saturday. Nowadays it's all about the video games and the computer. My oldest is not a big athlete so getting him interested in other things is hard to do.

Even work ethic is not the same. With our "push button" generation, kids expect things to happen with the click of a mouse. Not when practicing an instrument! Hard work is the only thing that will make you successful in the musical arena. My oldest has been learning that lesson the hard way. I admit that I get very frustrated with him. I expect him to be as good at something as I was when I was growing up, and that's just not fair. He is his own person. I have to let that go.

At 12 years old I am already seeing that I have to let go of my little boy. Before I know it he will be going off to college.

I have to let go a little bit everyday and just pray that I am steering him in the right direction. It's like that with God. He has let us go and is praying that through our free will we are making good choices. I pray daily that I am for my son and myself.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the quiet before everyone wakes up
2. the Lenten season
3. nail polish
4. puzzles
5. magazines

Loneliness

I have discovered something as a ministry wife. Life can get lonely. "How can you be lonely with two active sons?", you ask? It makes no sense. But I am getting there.

We all long for relationships. For deep, meaningful relationships. I have one friend who I have that with here, she is in ministry as well, but she also has children, and responsibilities at home and at church.

I long for fellowship among women my age and I thought there was a glimmer of hope with a new Sunday School. But, after class yesterday, it sounds like it may be a bit too "fundamentalist" in thought. (Someone made the comment that part of The Shack was heresy and others were in agreement...that's when I knew I was in trouble).

Sometimes I wonder if my beliefs and thinking are not lined up with a specific denomination of church. That I tend to think too broadly. But that may also be because I still consider myself new in study. I am trying to find my way.

I know one relationship that I have that is deep and meaningful and that is my relationship with God. I can tell Him anything. He knows how I feel before I do. He knows the innermost workings of my heart. I rely on Him daily. Before my feet even hit the ground I speak to Him.

Do you know Him?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my snoring dog
2. black clothes
3. pictures
4. lessons learned the hard way
5. my friend Beth

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

I've decided to dedicate Friday's to posting about Faith. My faith wavers from time to time, especially when I start to doubt myself and when I get anxious and worry about things out of my control. So, here's to faith!

Faith is rejecting the feeling of panic when things seem out of control – His control. Pamela Reeve

This has been a struggle for me lately. Worry that leads to panic. Now what good is that going to do? Will it solve my problems? Will it make me feel better? Will it bring glory to God?

I am only human and I tend to react before I think about God sometimes. How do I honor Him in these situations? I need to put Him first, pray and know that He has a perfect plan for me.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

Throughout my life I have seen doors open and shut (sometimes slam) in my face and yet God always opens another one for me. It's usually a big window. A window leading to brand new opportunities

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. writing
2. friendships
3. de cluttering
4. possibilities
5. trying something new

A Relaxing Day

I took a day off and stayed home with my men. We slept in, the boys made pancakes and we went on a hike at Rockhound State Park. I played on Facebook way too much and am finishing dinner. It's been such a relaxing day.

I think we don't do that often enough. You know, throw up the white flag and just surrender.

In order to live a complete life in Christ we have to surrender to Him everyday. I try to start my day, before my feet even hit the ground, by surrendering to God. I pray that all I do is for His glory. I fall short of the mark often, but when I do give everything up to Him, my days are better.

I am struggling with worry. It can be crippling when the Enemy sneaks in and grabs you where you are most vulnerable.

God has not left me hanging out to dry yet. I have to keep telling myself and beleiving and praying that His will be done.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a recipe by Emeril
2. apple pie
3. the outdoors
4. Bear in the Big Blue House
5. snuggling

Boots

When I was about three years old, I had a pair of cowboy boots. They were black with red and white stitching and I wore them everywhere. With jeans, with shorts, it just did not matter, as long as I had my boots. I still have them. The front tips are pointed upward, from when I would sit on my knees to watch television.

They are sitting in the front living room by the fireplace and the other night my little three year old found them. Right now he's all about stick horses and cowboys (like his mom was) and he wanted to put them on. They fit perfectly. It's his big treat every so often to put on my little boots. He looks just precious in them.

It's funny how God works. When my parents bought me those boots they had no idea their grandson would find joy in them. (And also that I would find joy in seeing him in those boots.) It flooded my heart with memories of my Dad who nurtured my love of horses. I miss him desperately.

The little things in life are so important. We pass by them everyday without a thought, until something special happens and we see the enormity of what those little things mean.

God has created this world for us to enjoy and to love. Look around today and find joy in the little things.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the opportunity to speak
2. a boss who fights for her team
3. plants
4. stick horses
5. boots

All I Can Say....

All I can say today is given in scripture.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:34 The Message


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my job
2. different versions of the Bible
3. grape juice
4. quiet time on a Sunday afternoon
5. compassion

Be Still Sunday

I've Been Accepted!

Well, I received some great news today. I've been accepted to Asbury Seminary's Masters Program! I will be starting my Master's in Christian Ministries, with the possible end result of becoming a Deacon in the Methodist Church.

Classes start next week and I may just make registration and be able to get started.

I looked at the syllabus today and got a little overwhelmed. I mean, I haven't been to school since 1990 and it certainly wasn't online. I know it's Satan working on me. He's good at spreading doubt.

I've always wanted to get a Master's degree, but I never felt led in any certain area. I have a BME and I really didn't have a desire to get another music degree. I contemplated an MBA, but my heart wasn't in it.

I know this is the route I want to go. Even if I decide to not pursue becoming a Deacon, I want the degree. I want to study and dive into the Word. I know there are other ways to dive into the word, but I truly feel God leading me down this path.

The older I get, the more in tune I am with the Lord. I am so thankful. I hope my eyes and ears stay opened to where He is leading me.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. exercise
2. teachers
3. news via email
4. the blue, New Mexico sky
5. checkmarks on my list

Be Still Sunday