A New Appreciation

I have an new "appreciation", if you will, for people that are on a treatment of chemotherapy. People with cancer that take huge doses that make them extremely ill, and so many other conditions that warrant chemotherapy.

We hear of people with cancer and chemo and I think, think nothing of it, until it touches us personally. It's horrible.

"Christian" had his first round of chemo (a very small dose in relation to so many other folks) and it was pretty scary at first. About half an hour in he started to break out, his ears were red, his cheeks flushed and shortly after that he had severe chills and fever. The chills scared me the most.

Once the doctor stopped everything, gave him steroids and his fever subsided the treatment began again, with no problems. It was amazing. I watched him all night. It was like watching water boil.

So, the treatment has begun. We go on Friday's for the next three weeks, take four weeks off, go on for four weeks again…it's going to be a long year, but we continue to pray that the treatment will have been well worth it for "Christian."

As a mom, we try to protect our children. We teach them to hold hands, look both ways before crossing the street, not to talk to strangers, and the list goes on. When our hands are tied, such as medical issues, it's not a great feeling. You put your child in the hands of the doctors and trust that they know what they are doing. That they will take care of your child as if he/she was their own.

The truth is, our children, well, all of us, are in the hands of the Great Physician. All things happen under his care.

Today I Am Thankful for:

1. Benadryl
2. Newly potted plants
3. A freshly mowed yard
4. Diet Cherry Syrup
5. Overnight packages (UPS)

Does it really make us stronger?

As a mom we endure quite a bit of pain. The obvious, childbirth, watching our newborns turn into toddlers, the first day of Kindergarten, their first love breaking their heart, the drivers license, college and the list goes on.

When you have a child with a chronic medical condition, it's different. There's always something. In our journey with hemophilia, we have been led to something new for us, chemotherapy. My three year old has an inhibitor, a condition that does not allow his factor to work. This chemotherapy has proven to get rid of inhibitors.

That's where we are. At the hosptial about to start a four week round of chemo. It's scary.

You've heard the expression, "that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Well sometimes I wonder. My strength is really being tested right now.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. choo choo books
2. granola bars
3. socks with holes
4. wireless internet
5. sunflower seeds

Changing course

Sometimes you think you are following "the plan." You're going where God is leading you, doing the things you are meant to do, when all of a sudden things just don't work the way you thought they would.

Could it be that you are a step ahead of where God wants you to be? That maybe you have to step back and catch up before moving on?

It's like being a mom. You cook, clean, wash clothes, tote the kids where they need to be and you sometimes ask, "Is this it? Is this all I should be doing?" When in fact it is the greatest, most difficult and rewarding job in the world. Not everyone gets to do it.

Maybe it is what I need to be focusing on instead of wondering "What next?"

Where are you at? Wondering or satisfied?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. carpet cleaner
2. old books
3. invitations
4. envelopes
5. peaches

It's not always easy

My "thing" has always been that I try to "ooze" the light of Christ in all that I do. I think you'll agree with me that it is not always the easiest.

The part of "oozing" that has been so difficult lately has been letting the light of Christ fill my heart for myself. The enemy sneaks in and can extinguish that light in a matter of seconds.

"School is too hard. I'm too old. I'm not good enough. I made a big mistake. I'm not a good enough parent." And the list goes on.

Not only do we need to try and let His light shine in our actions to others, but we need to let His light fill our hearts and souls for ourselves.

I have always had a hard time putting myself first, but I know that God wants us to be happy and fulfilled. Sometimes it takes putting ourselves first so that we can be good to our loved ones.

What are you doing to put yourself first and let Christ's love shine in you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. sweatshirts
2. scotch tape
3. dogs that dream
4. cold toes
5. invitations

The things we do...

I have to step out of my comfort zone tonight...I have to work the "50/50" at the high school football game.

The band boosters sponsor the 50/50 at home games. A pair of boosters walks around the crowd and sells raffle tickets, $1 each or 6 for $5. The purchaser receives a lollipop for each dollar spent. Right before halftime the winning number is announced and they win half the money collected and the other half goes to the band boosters! Only in small town America can you "gamble" on school property! (It's not "gambling" because each person is "purchasing" a lollipop.)

Ah, small town living... :) Anyway, I am one of the folks walking around tonight selling tickets. The things we do to support our children!

All in the name of love.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a losing football team (God Bless Them!)

2. my son belonging to a group (Band)

3. a cool breeze

4. music

5. feeling needed and loved

Simple Delights

1. $3.25 breakfast special

2. Friday night high school football (the losing team)

3. sand between little toes

4. the waitress bringing your drink order before you ask

5. homemade popcorn

6. "across town" takes five minutes (with traffic)

7. church steeples

8. hearing the door open "Daddy's home!"

9. brand new pencils

10. Sonic Happy Hour

What are your simple delights today?

Date Night

My hubby and I have reinstated "date night." We have started a new tradition on Sunday nights at 9 pm (after my little one has gone to bed). We go to the Riverbend for a "soak." Our new town is known for its natural hot springs. They are all over town. (Our town, Truth or Consequences, used to be "Hot Springs, NM." The old game show had a contest for a town to change their name, and they did!)

The place we frequent overlooks the Rio Grande. The stars and moon are fantastic! They seem close enough to reach out and grab from the sky. We take this time to relax and reconnect.

The funny thing is, that I find it difficult to slow down. Difficult to relax and getaway (it's only 5 minutes from the kids). Even in a small town, life moves so fast.

Have you stopped to enjoy the loved ones around you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. 105 degree water
2. the sky
3. the sound of running water
4. brand new fingernail polish
5. Fruit Roll Ups

Feels Like Home

We have been in our new home (the parsonage) for just over a month. I am happy to report that all the boxes are gone! This house is smaller than our previous home, so I was not able to unpack everything. Things like my pretty angels and all of my family pictures. I had to downsize. And you know what I have felt? As if we have lived here for years. Our house truly feels like home.

My second house in Houston was a beautiful 3 bed, 2 1/2 bath, 2 story home. We lived there for over 6 years and it never felt as much like home as the parsonage does.

We have stepped out in faith in outrageous ways in the past 3 years and I believe God is telling us that we are indeed listening and following his call.

It's a wonderful, exciting and humbling feeling to know that you are indeed following Christ.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. downsizing
2. small closets
3. fresh paint
4. black lights
5. peanuts

Language

I have a Bachelor's of Music Education degree. The language of "education" is natural to me. Now that I work in the healthcare industry, the language of "healthcare" has become natural to me as well.

I started seminary last week. My first class in 20 years! The language of theology is not natural to me. I am reading and re-reading the same things over and over again just for basic comprehension! Needless to say, it has humbled me.

But something ugly has resurfaced with a vengence...DOUBT. That doubt can be a killer. It can squeeze the life right out of you. It can make all of the good you have done in your life just disappear within seconds. In times of doubt we have to rely on the Sword of the Spirit - the Word of God. When all else fails, and I feel empty, I go back to Philippians 4:13,

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

It is a piece of the word that speaks a mountain of truth.

What scripture gives you hope? What scripture chases away doubt?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. fantastic colleagues
2. good haircutsw
3. homemade cherry Cokes
4. seeing the Earth from an airplane
5. clouds

I'm so in the right place

Our recent move happened very quickly. Within a two week time period, Joe was offered his appointment and we moved. Two weeks!

I never doubted the move, but this weekend I was assured that we were in the right place.

I took the boys and my mother-in-law (Joe was working an Emmaus walk) to the Balloon Regatta at the lake. We got up early, brought along our coffee and donuts and sat and watched the baloons fill up and take off at sunrise. It was astounding!





Where else in the world could this picture be taken?



I also preached for the first time in our new church. I wasn't nervous, and when I looked out at the congregation, I truly felt like I was at home.

We are so blessed.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. online classes
2. new tablecloths
3. folding chairs
4. lake water
5. love

Losing Yourself

Oozing can be difficult. As a preachers wife, I feel like I am always having to be "on." I office out of our church so I am part of the daily comings and goings of folks as they come in. I am not just working my regular job but I am seen as the pastors wife so there are certain expectations. What I am realizing is that it can be very easy to lose who you are.

I want to be an oozer. I want nothing more than for the light of Christ to shine through all of my actions. Whether I am greeting people on Sunday mornings or cleaning toilets at the church, I want for that light to flow through me. But while you are fulfilling the roles you play everyday, you can lose yourself and the reasons for why you do what you do.

God knows each of us. He knows our hearts. He knows our struggles and our victories.

All we do should be pleasing to the Lord.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. sleeping dogs
2. scotch tape
3. Facebook friends
4. cold fingers
5. webcams

A Little Lost

I have been a little lost. What is next? I've made a new home in our first parsonage, even made some friends, but what is next?

I start my seminary class today (I'm only taking 2 hours this first semester since I've not been in school for 20 years) and I am scared and excited. I want to know more, so here starts the journey.

I know Philippians 4:13 and Jeremiah 29:11, sometimes I just wish I knew what God had in store for me next.

When I think back to when I married Joe and I would dream about my future, it never looked like this! And I thank God that it isn't! I'm sure I gave God a good belly laugh when he saw my "plans for the future." They just were not what was destined for me.

I am so grateful.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new friends
2. hot tea
3. the changing of the seasons
4. routine
5. new adventures

It's just amazing...

It's just amazing.

Just over a month ago we were robbed. It seems life an eternity has passed. Soon after, we received the call that moved us to T or C (Truth or Consequences) and almost three weeks later, in our new town, we feel as if we have been here forever.

It's just amazing.

We have also been blessed with two new friends, T and B. They are our age (in a retirement community) who are just two of the coolest people we've ever met. I have always believed that God sends us angels while we are here on earth, to help us get through difficult times. And again, here are two of them.

When we moved to Deming, he sent us K and R. We would have been lost without them! Especially since we were living in the mountains with a propane tank, well, and swamp cooler! They called us "Oliver and Lisa!" They have also moved to another town, but we consider them very special and dear friends. My angels in Deming.

It's just amazing. God is amazing.

Think about it...you just may be someone's angel here on earth. Or do you have one? Have you shown them some appreciation? Do they know how much they mean to you? Take the time to celebrate them. Love them. Thank God for them.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. bottled water
2. air freshner
3. menus
4. wood floors
5. angels

Satisfaction

I've never been called to go on a mission trip or to help a youth group build houses. You know what I mean? That form of ministry is not where my gifts are strongest.

This past weekend, along with a couple of new friends at our new church, we remodeled the entry of our church, gave the sanctuary a deep cleaning, decluttered a hallway filled with junky cabinets and cleaned bathrooms.

It was the most rewarding day I've had in a long time.

To stand back and see how your work has made a difference all in the name of the Lord.

In my new role as the pastor's wife, I am seeing things much differently. I feel as if I am working with my husband. It is really exciting. Anything I can do to help our congregation have a closer relationship with God, to worship freely, to hear the message, I am ready for.

"The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. no boxes in my living room!
2. our storage shed
3. pumpkin candles
4. shredders
5. our new friends, B and T

If You Would Have Told Me....

If you would have told me that I could pack a house and move in less than two weeks...I would have told you that you were a nut.

If you would have told me that I could find a caring, loving lady to watch my three year old in a small town (in less than two weeks)...I would not have believed you.

If you would have told me that we would be loved by a new church family as much as our previous church family...I would never even have dreamed it.

If you would have told me that Satan himself would make himself known throughout all of this........well, I had forgotten how he works.

I melted down on Saturday. It all hit me. I had moved. I had moved! Oh, my goodness!

I am so glad things have settled down, many, many, many boxes have been unpacked and my oldest likes his new school.

Thank you for your prayers.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. empty boxes
2. the new Walmart
3. an open kitchen
4. our "new" mattress
5. keeping in touch with friends

Packing.....

Sorry I've not been around. My days are filled with work and my nights with packing. We load up the trucks on Friday so we are down to the wire. I can't believe things are happening so fast! We are really excited.

I'll be back on a more regular basis soon.

Please pray for us to have a successful move.

Blessings!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Ibuprofen
2. boxes
3. friends that help with anything and everything
4. rolling chairs
5. new adventures

God is so Good

A week ago my family was robbed and it has literally been a day by day existence for us. It's a horrible thing to experience, and it takes time to come to an understanding of what really happened.

Then, God shows up in an amazing way. My husband received a call (one week after the robbery) and was offered his first position as Pastor to the UMC in Truth or Consequences, NM!
What a blessing! Becoming a Pastor is Joe's dream and why he is in school. We never thought he would get a pastorate before he finished school, but here it is!

He will preach in T or C for the first time on August 16th! We have two weeks to get it in gear and move.

One huge blessing is that we will only be 2 hours away from Albuquerque rather than 3 1/2. This means we can get the boys to the hematologist faster. It will definitely help when we have to get Christian in for weekly visits in September. (I'll talk more about that later).

I hope you will join me in praying for our family as we step out in faith into where God is leading us and to especially pray for our children. It is always hardest on the children.

One of my favorite Psalms says it all:

"The Lord had done great things for us and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my Facebook friends
2. feeling better from a weekend of being horribly sick
3. the prospect of a fresh start
4. my Deming church home
5. boxes

Robbed

I am not in a good place. On our way back from Houston, we stopped to eat in El Paso and our car was broken into. Our laptops and my purse were stolen. It's just a sickening feeling.

You hear of people saying "Oh, you feel so violated." Well, it's true. You don't understand that until it happens to you.

It sounds silly, but when you have your life on your laptop and in your wallet, and you know it's in someone else's hands, it's just creepy. (Even if everything is password protected).

I have a daily calendar from the "Touched By An Angel" series that has a saying from the show for each day. When I picked it up to catch up, the saying read...

"Who you are isn't measured by what's in your wallet, but by what's in your soul."

Isn't that the truth? I mean, no, it's a real pain to close bank accounts, file police reports, and insurance, but at least when you have the resources, you are blessed to be able to replace things.

My prayer is that whomever gets into my laptop will see that Christ was important to its original owner. Maybe they will want to know more about Him.

I know all things happen for reasons unknown to us, I just hope that my things will be a blessing to someone in the end.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. My son's "junker laptop"
2. insurance
3. a night of bowling
4. pizza
5. my family being safe

New Every Morning

A brand, new spiral notebook (because I need another brand, new spiral notebook). A fresh start. A clean slate. It's the notion that nothing bad from your past is taken into account. Today is a new day.

"God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left!"
Lamentations 3:22-24 The Message

What do we do with a "clean slate?" Do we truly start over every day? I can easily equate this with my never ending self care (do you notice I didn't just say D-I-E-T-?). If my present day ends in overeating or not exercising...there's always tomorrow. Right?

If we are blessed enough to wake up yet another day, then God is not through with us yet. Do we truly use that next day to the best of our ability or do we live in the mistakes of our past? I tend to not let go. I beat myself up and in the bludgeoning I am missing out. Missing out on the best life that God has blessed me with. Missing out on being a blessing not just to myself, but to others. And, being a blessing to Him.

What is holding you back from accepting the gift of a new day filled with grace?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Origins Ginger Souffle
2. straws
3. former students
4. a great mattress
5. a dead laptop

Comparisons

Comparisons can eat you alive.

As a woman in this day and age, we so often look at the women in the public eye and start to compare ourselves to images that are impossible to attain. Airbrushed images of models, way too skinny women, and way too perfect hair. It never ends.

I know that God loves me the way I am right at this moment. He doesn't make mistakes.

Have you ever been in public and noticed someone who may not be dressed to "your standard" or who was extremely overweight? Or maybe even someone who looked "perfect" and you start to pass judgement?

I caught myself doing that recently. Why is it that we do that? "At least I am thinner than she is.....I would never wear that in public, she looks terrible....How can they dress their children that way?" And the vile words can go on and on.

I think Satan just knows how to get the best of us all the time. He knows our weaknesses and knows where we feel of the least worth.

The truth is, God loves the woman who is extremely overweight...He loves the woman who is scantily dressed with tatoos covering her body...He loves me, the sinner, who feels of little worth and knows when I am criticizing that I am hurting inside.

"Father, God, forgive me for comparing and criticizing. I want to be an oozer and I fall short of the mark daily. I want your love to shine through me in all that I do. I want to have a heart that will give everything up in the name of love and grace. Amen"

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. rain
2. my extra weight
3. stepping "out of the box"
4. family
5. the quiet of a library

Joy

Joy - "the emotion evoked by well being, success or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires"

Today I experienced an amazing amount of joy through the eyes of my three year old.

We are visiting my mother-in-law in Houston and we took off on an adventure to the Aquarium. We had a wonderful lunch surrounded by large aquariums filled with every kind of fish you could imagine. Our day continued with a train ride, carousel ride, adventure through a shark tank and finished with time in the dancing waters.



I was able to ignore the heat and humidity (I am soooo acclimated to the dry desert), the sweat dripping down my face, the annoying man spraying everyone waiting in line with a water gun and the long lines to see life through the eyes of my little one.




The ant that was crawling on the ground while we were waiting in line, the big, green eel in the fish tank, the excitement of the train whistle...it was joyous! I was able, for the first time in a long time, to ignore the trappings of everyday life and just enjoy the moments.

We get so caught up in doing. Do we stop long enough to enjoy?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. fish
2. excitement
3. ice cream
4. humidity
5. a cool shower

Me, Myself & Lies

I am working through a great study called "Me, Myself & Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild.

Today's lesson was just hard hitting for me.

Jennifer's whole premise of the book is about builing our "thought closet" to represent the truths we hold of ourselves, not the negatives.

Her example today was great.

"You spot a wad of fabric near a trash can. As you approach, the stench accosts you! Even so, you pick up the nasty fabric and discover it's a woman's blouse. Hmm, you think, I wear blouses! I wouldn't have chosen this one, but here it is...So you hang it by your favorite jeans and think, I don't like this, but it's here, so I guess I'll keep it. Now the whole closet reeks and your clean, lovely clothes get dirty as you shove it in place. It has no value; but now it's yours." (from "Me, Myself & Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild)

Isn't that true of what we think of ourselves? One, stinky, untruth can destroy the library of good things that we think of ourself. "Library of good things?" you say? That's where we have to start. We often find it hard to say good, truthful things of ourselves.

Make a list. "I am....." Don't let the one, ugly thought come in and destroy your words. Don't say, "I am fat, I am ugly, I am not smart."

Remember, God made us the way we are and loves us right at this very moment, the way we are!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Bible Study
2. barking dogs
3. renewed passion
4. my hubby not traveling again until September!
5. preparing to send my son to camp

We All Have Something

I mentioned in an earlier post that we all have "something" in our lives that we deal with. A sick child, a broken marriage, financial problems that seem to never go away, an ill parent, a job you don't necessarily love, or even a broken relationship.

I have two children that struggle with Hemophilia. My three year old struggles the most. Even this past weekend (following his week long stay in the hospital) he had a pretty bad ankle bleed. We infuse every 2 hours, then every four hours, so it never ends.

He has to be carried to the potty, he can't walk and he just doesn't understand why.

It breaks my heart and it is exhausting. Sometimes I think I can't go on...but I do with the strength God gives me.

I think back to what someone who used to be close to me said, "You shouldn't have another child, you can barely deal with the one you have."

Those words hurt deeply. For years I thought they were true until my suprise came 10years after my oldest was born! What a joy he has been. I can't imagine life without both of my boys, hemophilia and all.

How does that saying go, "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger." ??

I think the bottom line is that God is with us in all that we do. He is with us in every single detail of our lives. From the good to the ugly to the heart breaking.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my marriage to a wonderful man
2. ice cream cake
3. movie night
4. dirty carpet
5. hemophilia

This Time Tomorrow....

Ah, this time tomorrow I will be in my own bed, with my own pillow. We will have ordered pizza earlier in the evening (no plans to cook) and have sat on our sofa doing some major veggin out.

I am sitting in the quiet, darkness of a hospital room, knowing that all is well with my Christian. I've been second guessing myself quite a bit..."I should have had him checked out earlier, Why didn't I go with my gut instinct", and so on. It's just the enemy playing with my head and my heart.

I sit here looking out at the lights of Albuquerque thanking God that all is well and we are going home. That we don't have to do "chemo" treatments, or stay in the hospital to heal from an accident.

Everyone has "something" to deal with. I just thank God that He has given me the strength and love to live with hemophilia.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Cold Brew tea
2. hospital blankets
3. a night spent in a hotel
4. portable DVD players
5. fireworks

I Was Right

I recently wrote about intuition. I had known something was wrong with my little guy's port and it ended up that we didn't need to get anything checked out. It started to feel okay, so we thought all was well...and Tuesday it happened...it didn't work.

We drove to Albuquerque to get it checked out and we were admitted to the hospital. He went into surgery Wednesday and we found out his port was toast. It came out and a new one was implanted. I knew almost two weeks ago that something was wrong with it. My gut just told me.

He is doing very well, but we won't be leaving until Tuesday. Ah, the joys of "living" in the hospital...hospital food, daytime television, the "comfort" of the guest bed, and the bored patient. (But, I was told we have one of the best views for the big fireworks show on Saturday!)

Thankfully there is a great activity center and playground to help the days go by faster now that my Christian is doing better.

I am here surrouned by children who have also had major surgeries that won't be going home anytime soon. Children with cancer, others moms who haven't been home in weeks...

I thank you, Father, God, for the blessing of my children and their medical conditions. I wouldn't trade them for the world.


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a new port
2. nurses that have answered their calling
3. wireless internet
4. crushed ice
5. our amazing hematologist

Prayers Please

I am sitting in the hospital in Albuquerque with my little "Christian." We came in today with complications from his port-a-cath. He is having surgery tomorrow to have it removed and a new one inserted.

Please keep him in your prayers. He's had a really traumatic day.

I'll be back with an update soon.

Blessings,

The Corners

I spent the morning cleaning house. My company had just left, and I needed to get things freshened up for the week.

My least favorite part of cleaning house, is cleaning floors. Yuck! Give me a toilet, or a stove no problem, but the floors? I just hate doing them.

I try the fastest approach...the Swiffer. I love my Swiffer simply because it is fast and no fuss. But, it doesn't do a fabulous job. The dirt gets pushed to the corners and after awhile, builds up.

I decided the floors needed extra attention, so I dragged the mop and bucket out. It does a better job than the Swiffer, but still, there is dirt in the corners.

What is the best way to clean a floor? On your hands and knees.

I equate it to studying God's word.

Its easy to find a great verse and say, "Oh, that is nice, it really speaks to me and fits my situation right now." You even go to the lengths of writing it on a card and memorizing it, but do you truly know what it means.

Do you let the scripture sink into you? Do you sit and marinate yourself with the word and let it transform you? Are you on your hands and knees?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a new blouse
2. new slippers
3. the swimming pool
4. fresh sheets
5. bathroom floors

He Never Leaves

One of my biggest fears came to pass yesterday. My vehicle died in rush hour traffic. Thankfully, one of the Courtesy Wreckers in Albuquerque (big yellow trucks that run around during rush hour) immediately pulled in behind me.



I turned the car off, restarted, and it was as if nothing was wrong. I called my husband (in Denver, like he could come rescue me....) and he was my GPS. He directed me to a local garage and the verdict...bad gas. Bad gas! I still had to drive the 3 1/2 hours home!



I managed to get to the scrapbook store and then my business dinner and hit the road at 8 pm. I've never driven as intently (and at the top of the speed limit) as I did last night.



You know what I learned last night? God never leaves me alone. He sent the wrecker to me, my husband was able to direct me to a garage open till 5:30 and not 5:00, and He stayed with me throughout my drive through rain and darkness all the way home, while my cell phone was in the red.





"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5



Today I Am Thankful For:


1. great conversation
2. nice restaurants
3. grapefruit
4. fuel treatment
5. Chevron

Humidity

I lived in Houston for 30+ years, and humidity was something you lived with. Over 100%? No worries, it was the norm.

Now that I live in the desert where the humidity is in the single digits, Ah, Life is Good! No more bad hair days...that is...until the monsoon season strikes.

Our humidity is in the 60% range and I am suffocating! My hair! It's awful the minute I walk outside my house!

But you know what the truth is? What is on the outside does not always reflect what is on the inside. God knows our insides. He doesn't worry about what our outsides are doing as much as what is going on in our hearts.

I struggle with my outward appearance. I need to lose weight, my hair is having a bad day, I could use a few new pieces of clothing. What I need to spend my energy on is the inside of myself. The words I use to talk to myself.

I am reading a great book, "Self Talk, Soul Talk" by Jennifer Rothschild and I am also working her bible study "Me, Myself and Lies" with Beth Moore at the LPM Blog.

We can dress ourselves up, have perfect hair and makeup, but if the words we speak to ourselves are ugly and not of God, the outside is just for show.

I need to work harder at getting my insides to match what the Lord wants for me.

What about you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my weekly menu
2. webcams
3. socks
4. my corner rounder
5. UPS

A Great (Exhausting) Weekend

What a weekend!

We threw a birthday party for my teenager to be (June 23rd) at the local gaming place. It's a place where they have flat screen tv's and game systems. We were there for SIX HOURS! Lance and his friends had a fantastic time!




Oh, but the day was not over yet. Our church held a Performing Arts Camp and the kids presented the musical HONK! What a precious retelling of the Ugly Duckling story. My Lance was "Ugly" and my husband was "The Cat!" It was wonderful!





And to top off our crazy busy weekend, we have relatives in for the week and my husband left for Denver (seminary) for the week.

Am I blessed, or what?!

I thank God for the people in my life. For my sons and their hemophilia, my husband and him following God's call on his life, for a family that has taken me in and always made me feel as their own.

It doesn't get much better.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. family
2. talent
3. half popped popcorn kernels (the best part!)
4. ice chests that leak
5. selfless gestures by sweet people

Intuition

Intuition - quick and ready insight; knowledge or conviction
"Mother's Intuition" - 98% on the money!

I think the moment I gave birth to my first child the "motherly intuition" gene was activated. It's that intuition that tells you when something bad is about to happen, when to turn and look right at the moment your toddler is climbing up the bookshelf, the sickening turn of your stomach when a doctor walks in your room and you know the news will be grim.

My motherly intuition is kicking into high gear today as my youngest son, "Christian", is having issues with his hemophilia. He is in pain when we infuse through his port and I just know something is wrong.

I am waiting for Christian to wake up from his nap so that we can (he's had a pretty bad shin bleed so we're infusing every three hours)see how he handles his infusion. If it doesn't go well, we're off to the emergency room for an x-ray. A great way to start the weekend.

I believe in intuition. Actually, I believe it's God speaking to you. That whisper, that nudge on your heart to call that long, lost friend. The desire to write a letter or send a special something to a relative who recently lost their spouse. That word of encouragement you are impressed to share with a dear friend. Those are the times God is speaking to us. To do His work. To show His love.

Has He nudged you lately? Did you dismiss that moment or act on it?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. lunch with a friend
2. feathers
3. a freshly baked cake that popped out of the pan
4. our new Wii
5. birthday parties

A Legacy

I have found a great freedom in writing. To put down the thoughts and feelings you have in your heart on paper is a release.

My sweet friend, Barbara, taught a creative writing class at our church last year. I took it not knowing what to expect and the first thing I wrote about was my brother. I never knew him. He was born before me and died at only five days old.

He was always a mystery. My mother and father never talked about him and when we went to visit his grave (in my Dad's hometown), my Mom never got out of the car. It had to have been too painful. I wish she would have talked about him and how she felt.

Years later, when my oldest son was diagnosed with Severe Hemophilia A, she was totally shaken and did not want me to tell anyone about it. I never understood her words that day in the hospital and she died five weeks later.

When my surprise baby came along, TEN YEARS LATER, and he also had Severe Hemophilia A we knew I carried the gene.

We put the pieces of the puzzle together. My brother did not die of "jaundice" as I was told, but his jaundice was the result of a head bleed. He was very brusied when he was born, so he went through a great deal of trauma.

Some people would rather not know the details of a persons past if there was something not "perfect". But some of us need to know details. It's the details that shape a person's legacy.

My brother had a short time here in this world. He left a legacy to my sons. Some may think that remembering something as painful would not be worth dwelling on, but I am glad that my boys will know that they were not the only ones in our family with hemophilia.

My brother was a blessing in the lives of my parents, even if he lived only a few short days. The legacy he passs on to my sons has been a tremendous blessing in too many ways to count.

All these years later, my brother urged me to write. To remember him. To ignite a passion I have within me. His legacy continues.

"I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus."
1 Corinthians 1:4

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. my first story being publishe(about my brother in a Bleeding Disorder Publication)
2. legal pads
3. a green thumb
4. my son's love of music
5. Play Dough

Passion

As I am trying to find my direction in life, I have been asking myself, "What is my passion?" When you are so busy with daily life, sometimes it is hard to remember what you are passionate about.

I am passionate about speaking and preaching. I recently shared a message with our congregation and I felt so empowered by the words that God gave me that day.

I am passionate about scrapbooking. I love to create books which share the stories of my family. That they will always have those memories after I am long gone is a joy I cannot begin to express. I want them to remember our lives together.

I am passionate about music. There is nothing like sitting in an orchestra/band and playing music. I have lost this quite a bit since I've moved to a small town, but am dedicating myself to preparing a piece on the oboe/English horn to play at church at least once a month.

I know I have more passion in me, but these are my top three. What are yours? What are you passionate about?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. freshly, sharpened pencils
2. my old desklamp
3. friends who help out at the last minute
4. index cards
5. colored papers

Direction

Direction. Leading to a place or point.

Do you have direction in your life?

Right now I don't have a sense of direction. I think it's because I feel as if I don't have anything that is "my own" right now. When you have a spouse in seminary, it is pretty hard. (Especially if they travel out of town once a week to school.)

I just have to keep the prize in mind that this time next year he will be finished with school!

I am so busy keeping up with my job, the house and the kids that I am a little lost. Have you ever felt that way? What has helped you come out and find your direction? I would love to hear from you.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Mickey Mouse
2. ice water
3. encouragement on a work project
4. performing arts camp
5. grapes

Creating

I have a passion for scrapbooking.


A friend invited me to a class in January of 2007 and I've been hooked ever since. I love creating pages. My mind gets to travel places where I never dreamed when I look at a picture of my family. I think the details and colors that are in a photograph become more obvious to the scrapbooker.

But the joy is creating a beautiful page out of a blank page. A blank page where there are no mistakes, just your creation.



I love that there are no rules in scrapbooking. There is not a right or wrong way to present the memories of your family. It's exciting to know that these scrapbooks will be around for years after we are gone. They are a legacy.

You know, I think it's what God may have been thinking when he created the world.

There were no mistakes.
Everything was made out of love.

Remember, Beloved, you are not a mistake! God created you for this time, right now, the way you are!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the new store I found
2. small backpacks
3. planning a birthday party
4. the opportunity to preach yesterday
5. tablecloths

Our Motto

On our refrigerator is our family motto:

"Live Simply, Love Generously, Speak Kindly, Leave the Rest to God."

I stopped and read it the other day and really started to think about each statement.

"Live Simply"
That's a hard one. We are always striving for more/better. More things, the newest model of game or iPod. Things do not make us who we are. I've been keeping the "Live Simply" idea at the front of my mind. Stuff is stuff. To live simply, we need less stuff, that's why I've been decluttering like a madwoman. My garage looks great!

"Love Generously"
When it comes to my children this is a no brainer. But what about a member at church who has been rude to your child? That's a hard one. But I have realized that to love doesn't mean hugging and showing affection, but it also means to earnestly pray for someone, while you are working on forgivenss. I pray daily for others and some people are on my list that are not necessarily my closest of friends.

"Speak Kindly"
I really do take Ephesians 4:29 to heart: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Words can hurt worse than any pain inflicted on a person. I've used words in the past that still haunt me.

"Leave the Rest to God"
This is not as easy as it sounds. We have to surrender our lives to God daily. There are only so many things that are truly in our control. Everything else, we must leave in the hands of the Almighty.


Do you have a family motto? I'd love to hear it!



Today I Am Thankful For:

1. the opportunity to preach this Sunday
2. "hearing" my son sleep
3. late night grocery shopping
4. old cards
5. planning a day off

The Gospel According to...

I've joined a new Sunday School class at church. Bible 101. It's great because we break everything down and our teacher (my hubby) gives us some great back ground information (seminary is paying off).

See, I don't have the Sunday School background that many people have. I never went to Sunday School classes. It all came to me late in life, so all of the basics I can put my hands around I truly soak up.

We were talking about why certain books of the Bible were included and others not (i.e. the Apocrypha). Why are Matthew, Mark, Luke and John the only Gospels included in the canon of the New Testament?

This is interesting stuff.

Why don't we write our own Gospel? Gospel means "Good News." Aren't we all living out our own Gospel story?

I found this to be an interesting thought that was brought up this morning. We all have a story. We all have a story of how Christ has changed our life. We all have incidents where the Holy Spirit has moved and directed us in ways we never dreamed. Why not write them down? Why not share our Gospel story with our future generations?

I challenge you to write your story. No one else can write it with the passion and truth that you can.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Going to "lunch with the ladies"

2. phone appointments

3. eyeglass cases

4. angels

5. pinecones

Be Still Sunday

Bloggy Break

I'm taking a bit of a bloggy break. I'll be back on Monday. It's been a hard week.

Blessings to you all,

Be

Over the past couple of weeks in my weekly depression support group, we have been talking about being still. Our leader took the scripture Psalm 46:10 and gave us a new perspective.


"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

He sent His son to die for our sins, only God is strong enough to make that sacrifice.

"Be still and know that I am."


God is mighty and all powerful. He created the heavens and the earth and knew us in the womb.

"Be still and know."

Slow down and listen. Listen to the things around you that only our mighty Father could bless you with…happiness, children, family, trials, tribulations.

"Be still."

We don't have to run from one thing to the next. Stop and be still for a moment. Listen for His voice.

"Be."

We often are too scared to stop running and just be. Are you running from something or someone? Just be and let God intervene.



Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Candle warmers
2. Old pens
3. Fun tennis shoes
4. Toys to pick up
5. Possibilities

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

My husband is in his last year of seminary. He flies from El Paso to Denver once a week. It's a rought schedule, but the Lord has provided in so many ways for all of us through his schooling. The winds are pretty intense in this part of the country during the Spring so flying can be pretty turbulent.

During one particularly rough flight, a flight attendant started up a conversation with my husband. She told him that he shouldn't stress out about the turbulence. The pilot was following the flight plan. When changes are needed, he would adjust the route.

It's like our relationship with God. We want to follow the plan He has laid out for us and get to the ultimate, a deep personal relationship with Him knowing we have done His will, but there are bumps in the road. Bumps that get us off the track to that relationship. Bumps that steer us into other directions. Bumps that test our faith.

If we focus on God, we get through the storms and always go directly to Him.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. hot tea
2. a dripping faucet
3. magnets
4. paper flowers
5. handmade cards

Practice Makes Perfect

In my "former life" I was a a middle school band director. I worked with students who were just starting to learn how to play their instruments (my favorite part) and with students who had a year or two of experience. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed my years of teaching.

One thing I was insistent on was practicing. How in the world could you improve if you didn't practice? I even taught my students how to practice so that they would get the most out of their time.

Some people believe in the saying "Practice Makes Perfect." I don't know if it makes perfect, but it will indeed bring you closer to your goal.

I believe it's the same with the time we spend with God. We have to practice being in His presence. Have you slipped away from God? Are your days not filled with as much peace as you would like? Then cry out to God and let Him know that you want to be more involved with Him. You want to be in His presence.

We have to practice being in His presence and make it a daily commitment.

Maybe the best time for you is when you wake up and are lying in bed before your feet even touch the floor. It could be after you get the kids off to school and you sit and have your cup of coffee with Him. If you work full time, it may be during your lunch break, or try setting an alarm that will go off every hour on the hour so that you spend a minute with God each hour throughout your workday.

There are many ways to practice the presence of God. The important thing is, to just do it. It will change your life.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. new craft projects
2. the ladies in my support group
3. coasters
4. big, plastic tumblers
5. old photographs

Impressions

I work for a home health care company and am very fortunate to work from my "home office." Actually, my office is located in the choir room of our church where my husband is the Music Minister. I moved in a couple of years ago when my depression was starting to eat my lunch. Our pastor did not hesitate and invited me in so that I would be part of the staff family during the workday.

As I go about doing my work, (I have two laptops running daily) people come and go as well as the children who come back a couple of days a week for reherasals. One day, the pastor's daughter asked me, "Cazandra, what exactly is your job?" I gave her a scaled down answer that a 5th grader would understand and she replied, "Oh, I thought you were a wedding planner."

Isn't it funny, the impressions we make on people? The things that run through other people's minds of what we do, what we illustrate on a daily basis. That is why I am so passionate about "oozing." I want people to know that Christ is in my heart. That there is something special that fuels me. That I live my life to exemplify love in all things.

Are you an "oozer?" Have you been one in the past and perhaps let the world take over and diminsh what you believe?

Recommit to Christ. All you have to do is open the line of communication.

Reconnect with Christ. There is no "right" way. Just start talking to Him. He knows the desires of your heart.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. plastic tubs
2. unexpected phone calls
3. green fabric
4. ribbon
5. Diet Cherry Cokes

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

A life filled with fear has little room left for faith.

One of my favorite stories is found in Luke 7:36-50, where the sinful woman who took huge steps of faith when she walked up to Jesus in a room full of Pharisees and anointed His feet with tears and perfume. She wasn't afraid of what it would cost her, although it was a big risk and a huge sacrifice.

She knew what she hoped for and was uncertain of what she could not see. Her faith saved her with each step she took toward Jesus.

I used to live a life filled with fear. Fear of death, fear of a relative, fear of the phone ringing, fear of the future. It was miserable.

It wasn't until God made His way back into my heart and I professed my faith that things got better.

What steps are you taking towards Jesus?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. kleenex
2. my new inspiration board
3. pretty notecards
4. article clippings
5. Celebration

Circumstances

My mind is a dangerous neighborhood to walk alone. We can get in our heads and start thinking really negative thoughts. As Mothers' Day has come and gone, I start to evaluate my being a mother. Am I doing the right things for my children, am I saying the right things to my tween during this difficult year he has had. Am I being attentive enough to my three year old?

Oh, the questions and doubts go on and on and on. But something happened Monday afternoon.

I received a call from my little one's daycare because he started to limp...a sure sign he is having a bleed (both of my boys have Severe Hemophilia). I rushed over to daycare and talked to him, watched him walk and realized he was definitely having a bleed. I scooped him up and off we went to the house to infuse.

We get to the house and start the process, a fast bath (because he has critters under his neck), then we infuse. It all happens at lightning speed with no doubt...no confusion.

I have come to the belief that God blesses us with different circumstances. Circumstances that may deal with health issues, family, work. Circumstances that are designed for each of us to weather. Hemophilia just happens to be ours and the Lord has blessed us tremendously with Hemophilia.

The circumstances God has laid at our feet are not to be thought of as a curse but a blessing. The old adage, "God never gives us more than we can handle" is true! Remember God created beauty out of chaos. Be blessed by your difficulties, because with God, all things are possible.

"We are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. factor replacement
2. new glasses
3. new projects at work
4. hairclips
5. fresh starts

A Little Sign

Mother's Day is a difficult day for me. I lost my mother in 1996, five weeks after my oldest son was born. That is when he was diagnosed with Severe Hemophilia.

I was lost without my mother in those early days of being a new mom. Even though I had a wonderful husband helping to understand our son's illness and my dad and sister around me, it's never the same without your Mama.

When I woke up yesterday and was getting ready for church I looked over and saw the first bloom of the season on my violet. It warmed my heart. It's almost as if my Mom was telling me "Hello, Cazandra, I love you."




I believe God sends us those moments in our lives. Little glimpses of Him and the angels that surround Him. I'll take those moments, they warm my heart.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. violets
2. a day of rest
3. loose fitting pants
4. being organized
5. Mork & Mindy

Be Still Sunday

Empty

I have nothing today. I am a bit empty. I am struggling with a concept of "Is God enough?"

I will be in prayer about this and be back on Monday.

Blessings to you all.

Daddy

I've been missing my Dad an awful lot lately. He passed away on my 39th birthday, October 7, 2007. It was a hard day but I was excited to know he was no longer in pain and was reunited with my mom, the love of his life, and better yet, in the presence of God.

I always called my Dad "Dude." "Hey, Dude, what's up?" I would say. I still can't remember why I called him that but it was my term of endearment for him. I adored my Daddy...my "Dude."

I've been studying a book Praying the Names of God, by Ann Spangler, and she goes through and focuses on a particular names of God each week. It has been eye opening.

At first I thought, why are there so many names of God, why not just God? But I have come to realize that for people in the ancient world names carried a great deal more significance than in our modern world. Names didn't only identify you as a person but they identified your character.

So far, my favorite is El Roi (El raw-EE) The God Who Sees Me. God made himself known to Hagar when she was in the desert and she is the one who named him El Roi. He saw her like no one else. He saw the fear and difficulties she was going through but He stood by her and told her to "Go back to your mistress and submit to her."

What did El Roi do? He blessed her with numerous descendants, too many to count. He never left her.

I have a strong faith in "El Roi". He sees the person I am when no one else is looking. He sees who I am when I struggle with overeating, with saying the right things, with being prouductive at work, even when I want to slip into my pit of depression because it feels like the safest place to be.

My God, my El Roi knows me better than any person on earth. Do I bless Him with my time in prayer and thanksgiving? Do I truly honor Him in all that I am?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. frozen dinners
2. 3 lbs gone!
3. spots on the carpet
4. barking dogs
5. a semi clean garage

A Wonderful Message

I had the wonderful blessing of hearing Liz Curtis Higgs speak this past Saturday. She is the author of the Bad Girls of the Bible series, along with numerous other works. She is a hoot! I heard her a year ago in Houston so to have heard this amazing woman of God speak twice is a tremendous blessing to me.

She presented on three women of the Bible, Hagar, Sarah and Leah. It was wonderful teaching. But more than anything what I appreciated the most was hearing Liz's testimony interwoven throughout her presentation. I'd heard it before, but it really touched me this second time around. She is a self proclaimed "FBG", Former Bad Girl.

What did I bring back from God speaking through her Saturday? That God loves us exactly the way we are, right now. Liz reminded me that we, as women, are always in a state of apology. Have you been there? Apologizing for letting our bodies go, apologizing for not nurturing relationships, apologizing for not "being the best" all of the time.

We have to stop apologizing and give God the glory. In all things, in all circumstances. He has a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and we have to go through many things to receive what He has in store for us.

Stop apologizing...give Him the glory!

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. safe travels for my husband
2. baskets
3. an old, unfinished trunk
4. bubbles
5. being remembered

Be Still Sunday

A Mustard Seed

I meet with a group of ladies once a week. It is a depression support group. We are a tight knit bunch from all walks of life and we meet to help keep each other in check. It's a really good thing.

So many issues came out of our meeting yesterday. Issues that didn't necessarily pertain to each of us but issues about the ones we love. Talk about having faith come in.

Faith that tests at the hospital will come out with positive results, faith that traveling constantly will bring a husband home safely each week, faith that we won't let the negative side of things (aka Satan) get hold of us and move us down the path of depression. Faith that we will get over our physical ailments and enjoy life to the fullest.

Isn't that the hardest thing to do? To have faith when things look grim. Sometimes all we have is faith as small as a mustard seed and that is what must get us through to the next moment.

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. shampoo from the salon
2. eating well
3. ribbons
4. flip flops
5. events to look forward to

So Good to Me

I sing in the Praise Choir at our church and last night we spent some time singing "requests". After we prepared for Sunday, we had some fun singing our favorites. I wanted to share the lyrics to one in particular.



God Has Been so Good to Me



God has been so good to me

God has been so good to me

I've done nothing to deserve

All the blessings poured on me

Yet my God has been good to me



So with every breath within me I will praise Him

The ever faithful One who gave new life to me

Though the journey has been long

And the road sometimes gets rough

He has always been right beside me guiding me



It's a simple, yet powerful song. We don't "deserve." I recently heard someone say that "deserve" is a dangerous word. Yet God blesses us with way more than we can ever dream we would have in our lives.



Have you thought about the things in your life you have been blessed with? It puts everything into perspective.

I have a friend from church with no insurance and no money who is extremely sick. Watching her struggle just breaks my heart. But she is one of the first people to speak of God's blessings and glory.



What are you taking for granted today? Have you thanked God lately?



Today I Am Thankful For:



1. great music

2. bike rides

3. catalogs

4. rubber bands

5. big t-shirts

An Original

My husband and I actually went on a date to the movies yesterday, without the kids. I highly recommend The Soloist. It is a fantastic movie about the transformation of a man (and the music is outstanding)!

We had some extra time so we walked through the mall . I was surrouned by hundreds of people and noticed that the quiet was deafening. I didn't have my children with me and I admit I was a little lost. Is that crazy or what?!

We get so attached to our family that when we are alone we can struggle to know who we are. Has that ever happened to you?

We have to be careful and not let being "a mom, daughter, sister, aunt, grandmother, etc." define us.

The ultimate truth is that we are children of God! God doesn't make mistakes...You are an original.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. a new attitude
2. my bluetooth
3. new bible study
4. Nilla wafers
5. chipped fingernails

Be Still Sunday

Not now

Faith is...

confidence that God is acting for my highest good when He answers ‘NO’ to my prayers. Pamela Reeve

Not just No, but Not Now.

I have recently come to the realization that there are several things in my life that God has said "not now" to.

It's so frustrating! For example, I really want to go to She Speaks this year, but the budget just doesn't allow for it. I know God is telling me to wait, that another year will be the year I "need" to go. But I sure want to go now.

Have you ever had God tell you not now?

When God has you wait for the right moment, maybe it is to go to a conference, the words spoken then will bless your heart in a way that you are not ready to hear right now. I truly believe that.

As good as something looks right now, it will be even better when all the circumstances allow for you to take part in the event or the decision.

God's timing is perfect.

I think we caught up, just as much as our children, in this day and age of instant gratification. The remote control, the video games, cell phones, laptops......the list goes on.

Stop, take a breath, and think about what it is that God is asking you to do in your daily life. It may not be a difficult as making a big financial decision, but it may be a decision which helps to shape not just your life, but the lives of those around you.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. No more stitches!
2. Shaped with Purpose
3. fax machines
4. good deeds
5. Hobby Lobby

Being Still

My morning devotional/quiet time is going really well, and I have been very consistent with only a few interruptions, but there is one thing missing…my being still and listening to the Lord.

Any ideas? What works for you? My mind just races with things to do for the day and I can't shut it off! I had a counselor want me to work on meditating…little by little. Maybe I just didn't give it enough time.

Do you meditate?

I want to truly live the verse

"Speak Lord, for your servant is listening." 1Samuel 3:9

I know there are times when we listen to God and we are not exactly in a meditative state. I truly believe I hear Him, but I want to deepen my relationship with Him and give Him that time.

Does that make sense?


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Weekly menus
2. Leftover Easter candy
3. Extension cords
4. Alarm clocks
5. Stuffed animals

The Widow's Mite

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is in Luke 21:1-4 (also found in Mark 12:41-44). The Jews were told to give to the Temple and to the poor as part of their service to God (just as we are). One day Jesus sat at the Temple and watched as people came and put money into the offering boxes. Some of the rich gave quite a bit of money, and some gave begrudgingly. Then there was a poor, widow woman who came up to the offering boxes. She put in two of the smallest coins, mites (like pennies). Those that watched her were not impressed, but Jesus was. He saw that she gave willingly, from her heart, all that she had.

Where were her next pennies coming from? I'm not sure if she knew, but she trusted God completely.

Do you trust God the same way…with your whole heart?

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

This is my favorite necklace.

My husband bought it for me and the coin inside the cross is a reminder of the widow's mite. I pray that when I give to the Lord it is with my whole heart. Money, time, talent, prayers…everything.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Runny noses
2. Dust
3. Incense
4. Water hoses on warm days
5. Kids going back to school!

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

Faith is...ceasing to worry, leaving the FUTURE to the God who controls the future. Pamela Reeve

I have been thinking alot about the future lately. Since our friend recently died, mortality has reared its head and you can't help but think about such things.

My eyes have been opened up and I have realized that I need to get my papers in order. Financial, wills, DNR, my household binder. I have gotten a good start, but have quite a bit of work left to do.

I am a great worrier. One of the best I dare say. But what I have to remember is to leave it all in the hands of God. He knows when it's time for us to come home and there is nothing we can do about it!

As Beth Moore recently wrote,

"This, Beloved, is what we live for. Not for just another day here. But for that very day there."

I get so wrapped up in what my life is here on earth that I forget that my eternal reward is truly that, a reward. The ultimate place to be. I have a place ready for me. The Father is waiting on me. It's such a comforting reality.

Another Beth Moore'ism I've come to love is,

"If you're still breathing, you ain't done yet."

We're not done, Beloved. We have so much to do. Don't get caught up in the worry of what might happen and when it will happen. It will rob us of the joys we have in our daily living.

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:27


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. day trips
2. my dad's desk lamp
3. coasters
4. kleenex
5. healing wounds

Early Morning

For the past couple of months things have been going extremely well for me. I just realized what the difference has been...my morning quiet/devotional time.

I get up around 5:15, get dressed (makeup and all), let the dogs out, then I read a chapter from Praying the Names of God, followed by my One Year Bible reading (I'm on January 17th :), then I blog/write until 7 am when it's time to get the kids moving.

I love this time to myself. The house is quiet and I feel like I can breathe before the day gets started.

I think routine is important. And most important is taking care of ourselves. Giving myself time in the morning is a gift. I am putting myself first before the other million and one requests that come at me starting at 7 am!

Maybe you are not a morning person and the thought of getting up before 7 is just not appealing. What about midday or right before bed? Do you have a time that you seal off just for yourself on a regular basis? Try it. Bring some focus to your day. What works for you?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. bike riding
2. rolls of stamps
3. tray tables
4. three hole punches
5. days off

Rusty

We received some tragic news yesterday. Our former pastor (Joe was his music director), Rusty, was preparing for Easter services on Sunday morning, getting wired for sound, when he dropped dead. At age 53 he dropped dead, in church, on Easter morning. Some of the youth were there trying to administer CPR. God be with those children.

I am stunned. The wind was knocked out of both me and my husband. How could Rusty be dead? He was only 53.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, each and every day we get is one more than we deserve. It can all be over in a flash. We can go home to see the Lord at any time.

As I am in my fortieth year, I've been thinking alot about mortality and this event just put it into high speed for me.

What business do you have undone? What if you went home to the Lord right now?

I have been on a mission to get our financial binder in order. Account numbers, addresses, where to find everything just in case. I need to know where everything is and I have been guilty of putting my head in the sand where finances are concerned.

I have made a commitment to be actively involved in the financial matters of my home. To many of you that may sound crazy because you already are financially aware of everything. That's great! But for those of you who aren't, it's not too late.

If I go home to the Lord soon there are several things I want to have in order for my family. My will, wishes as I am on my deathbed with machines keeping me alive, and letters written to the ones I love.

Have you written letters to the special people in your life for after you have left this world?

My mother left me a letter. It was in her Bible and right after she passed away, her best friend knew where it was and she gave it to me. I treasure that letter. I see it often as it is in my Bible.

If you have not considered leaving some written words behind for your loved ones, I encourage you to do so. It will serve as a treasured memory, a piece of your heart for them to always have.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. band-aids
2. bookmarks
3. Dave Ramsey
4. My Daily Docket
5. notebooks

My Best Friend

"Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?" Corrie ten Boom

Do you find yourself becoming complacent? You know, just going on with the routine of daily living? If things are going well do you tend to not pray, or not have your devotional time? Maybe you just put it off and will spend time with the Lord "later in the day", and you never do. Life happens and you get busy.

I think we all tend to get caught up in life.

The busyness.

The schedules.

The expectations.

The potty training.......

I challenge you, as you are being busy to remember the One who died for you. The One who knew your inmost being before you were in your mother's womb. The One who loves you regardless of the crazy mistakes you make and regardless of the less than holy thoughts that run through your mind.

Prayer is our direct line to God. It is the way we develop our relationship with Him. For so many years I thought there was a certain way I was supposed to pray.

Only kneeling.

Say the "Our Father" first.

Hands together, not folded, etc. etc.

That's sooo not it! When I realized God just wanted communication with us and I that I could talk to him like a best friend, I never looked back! If I'm driving in the car, I talk to Him as if He was sitting next to me. If I'm cooking dinner, I talk to Him. You get the picture? God is my best friend!

He knows everything about me. I can't hide anything from Him. He knows the thoughts running through my head and the desires of my heart.

I have to spend time with Him everyday. He's with me always.

Do you spend time with Him daily?

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. great recovery from carpal tunnel surgery
2. legal pads
3. silly string
4. plastic eggs
5. chocolate

Faith Friday's

Faith is…

thanking God when I am left with shattered plans, that He has better plans. Pamela Reeve

I've been thinking alot about my past. (I think it has something to do with turning 40 this year.) I have had my share of obstacles, and life has not necessarily been easy, but you know what? I wouldn't change a thing!

When I think about the "perfect life" I had planned, I had no idea I was giving God a great big, belly laugh!


I had plans of living in the big city, children with no health problems, great family relationships, plenty of money in the bank.....and the list can go on. It cracks me up that I actually live in the desert. I mean, I am a city girl who lives with a flock of buzzards in my tree! However, my childern are healthy, despite their hemophilia. That can be a challenge, but it's all about perspective. I have a family member who won't speak to me anymore...I never dreamed we would have strife between us, but only the Lord can heal that broken relationship. As for money in the bank...we continue to work on that. With my husband in Seminary and traveling to Denver once a week, it proves to be difficult, but I know the Lord has blessed us with the financial ability to see this through for my husband.


What is perfect? I don't think there is a such thing. I do know that we must have faith in all things. Faith that the next right thing will happen despite our situation. Faith that God will never leave us hanging out to dry. Faith that when we put our trust in Him the absolute best will happen for us.

I pray that you have faith in your life. Faith in Jesus. Faith in all things good.

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. preparing to get carpal tunnel surgery (TODAY)
2. digital clocks in the night
3. growling stomaches
4. small, wooden boxes
5. an abundance of books

Moments

I have this written in my notebook. It's simple and powerful. Enjoy!

Happy moments - Praise God
Difficult moments - Seek God
Quiet moments - Worship God
Painful moments - Trust God
Every moment - Thank God

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. fuzzy socks
2. webinars
3. labels
4. early morning quiet time
5. headphones

I Am Inspired!

Wow! What a fabulous idea to bring in some great speakers from all over the cournty to your computer screen! The A Woman Inspired Conference is doing just that. Yesterday was such a blessing. Even though I was not able to hear all of the sessions, I'll be able to download them later this week to watch at my convenience.

Yours truly will be speaking on Wednesday, April 8th at 8:30 am CST. My topic is "Forty" and Qualified! I hope you can join me. Get your coffee and tune in!

Blessings to you all,


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. Jack and Sharon, my "technical support"
2. an old lamp in a new place
3. designed binders
4. webcams
5. magnets

Be Still Sunday

Faith Friday's

I pray daily for people. I have a list written on my bathroom mirror (in Expo marker) of requests that I lift up to the Lord everyday.


Days and even weeks go by sometimes before I hear of any result. I did get an email from a friend whose Dad is in remission from cancer! What a wonderful feeling to know your prayers have helped someone.

You need to have a tremendous amount of faith to continue praying with no answers. Sometimes we get answers we don't like, such as a diagnosis, a condition worsening, someone not forgiving. But faith is the cornerstone of what we believe.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

Faith is expecting God to work miracles. Pamela Reeve

Today I Am Thankful For:

1. A Woman Inspired
Conference
2. grapes
3. my wallet being found!
4. two jobs
5. 3 ring binders

Patience

Patience. Do you have any? My Dad was the most patient man in the world. Unfortunately, I did not inherit that trait from him!

I have injured my shoulder for a second time within a few months and the process to find the problem just takes time.

You have to schedule your first appointment, then come back for an MRI (after your insurance has been confirmed) then you come back for the results, and in the meantime you go for an initial visit to the physical therapist and start physical therapy...which takes time! And to top it all off, I am having Carpal Tunnel Surgery next week, which just delays my therapy! Argh!

I just want to feel better. Surely it can't be because I am getting older...

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control." Galatians 5:22

This verse says it all about being an "oozer." I wish it was easier, you know, to let the light of Christ shine through all you do, but it's hard work. But it sure is worth it.


Today I Am Thankful For:

1. quiet
2. ice
3. meetings
4. my daily Bible reading plan
5. decluttering